how to treat your future father-in-law

especially if its Sinestro (duh).

-----
Green Lantern Corps #53

humanize

drive-by readings

Green Lantern Corps #51 (DC) "Revolt of the Alpha-Lanterns Part 4" Tony Bedard Ardian Syaf Vicente Cifuentes Randy Mayor Steve Wands Ryan Sook/Joel Gomez/Fernando Pasarin/Mayor/Carrie Strachan (variant cover)

what we learned: lemme get this straight: Cyborg Supes turned Lanterns into Alpha Lanterns so they would attract the attention of Ganthet so he can turn them all back into mortals, especially Cyborg Supes? and you thought Lost was convoluted. anyhoo, with the little juice his ring has left, Kyle grabs Lantern Hannu as an equalizer, and just in time because Boodikka shows up. her final sacrifice is to power up the GLs.
oh shit moment: Qward? White Lantern stuff? ooooooooooooooo.
what's next: for Stel! for Grenda! for the Corps!!


naaah, that's centuries of not eating healthy, you blue pig.

a green can of whupass

drive-by readings

Emerald Warriors #1 (DC) "Last Will" Peter Tomasi Fernando Pasarin Cam Smith Randy Mayor Steve Wands Rodolfo Migliari (cover) Lee Bermejo (variant cover)

what we learned: recently-voluntarily-demoted-to-Lantern Ganthet has recruited Guy Gardner and Atrocitus for some great mission (which would probably lead to the next GL crossover), and this debut issue reminds how much of an asskicker Guy can be. but this time, he's using his brains more.
oh shit moment: who's the purple guy with the flaming sword?
what's next: wasn't a big Guy Gardner fan because he's a natural dickhead, but recent years of GL and GL Corps have turned me around. i hope he doesn't bite the bucket in this series. or become a full Red Lantern (tell-tale blood on lips).


no, no, no! they're Skrulls! except they're blue!!

resistance is futile. no, not really.

drive-by readings

Green Lantern Corps #50 (DC) "Revolt of the Alpha Lanterns Part 3" Tony Bedard Ardian Syaf Vicente Cifuentes Randy Mayor Carrie Strachan Steve Wands Patrick Gleason/John Dell/Mayor (variant cover)

what we learned: the Cyborg Superman (the anti-thesis of regular comic characters because he wants to die and he can't) is still up to his shenanigans (well, give him credit, he does want to kill himself) and goes through a convoluted plan to turning Lanterns into Alpha Lanterns just to attract the attention of ex-Guardian-now-Lantern Ganthet. hmmmmm, so who's the mysterious dude who told Henshaw these things?
oh shit moment: Ardian Syaf goofs on Ganthet's hand - i mean correct me if i'm wrong (see below).
what's next: paging Dr. Kevorkian!! we have been paging you since 1992, dammit!!


yes, you're right. no, your left.

the weekly hits

Sea Bear & Grizzly Shark (Image)
Ryan Ottley/Jason Howard/Cliff Rathburn
what we learned: a Sea Bear. a Grizzly Shark. eating people anywhere. that's all you need to know.
oh shit moment: just imagine any moment you could be doing your own thing, then suddenly you're wondering why your head is at ground level and the rest of your body's just ... gone.
what's next: really? you want this to be an ongoing? well ....


Batman: Streets of Gotham #13 (DC)
Paul Dini/Dustin Nguyen/Derek Fridolfs/John Kalisz/Sal Cipriano
what we learned: the Carpenter turns the tables on the Director just in time for Batman to clean up. despite the cheesy dialogue because of the nature of the story, its entertaining. by the way, how does everyone manage to show up at the right time for the board meetings to remind Thomas Eliott of his place?
oh shit moment: nothing much to shit your pants about. although Jenna Duffy has been warned off by Bats, she can't resist the lure of the job of assembling for dangerous people (which means that hauling supercriminals off to jail never works).
what's next: what is Hush up to?


Hulk #23 (Marvel)
Jeph Loeb/Ed McGuiness/Mark Farmer/Morry Hollowell/Richard Starkings/Herb Trimpe/Dave McCaig/Tim Sale/Dave Stewart/Dale Keown/Sal Buscema/Brad Anderson/Ian Churchill/Edgar Delgado/Leinil Yu/Gerry Alanguilan/Marte Gracia/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Emily Warren/Dean White/Jason Keith/Mike Deodato/Rain Beredo (variant cover: Adam Kubert/Laura Martin)
man, i'm tired typing all those credits, but its the only way to give those nods as Blogger's 200 character limit for tags (booooo!) kinda put a damper on the party, and it was a rocking one.

Green Arrow #1 (DC)
J.T. Krul/Diogenes Neves/Vicente Cifuentes/Ulises Arreola/Rob Leigh (covers: Mauro Cascioli, Ethan Van Sciver/Hi-Fi)
what we learned: despite him being kicked out of Star City, Ollie Queen can't help himself and still hangs around. and conveniently a "magical" forest has sprung around the city, giving him cachet to play a man in tights. oh, someone offed his best friend Nunocerda. now Ollie has to throw away his special Nunocerda arrow.
oh shit moment: uh, Ollie stealing food from the rich to give to the poor? yeah. or his stepmom takes his company back.
what's next: team up with his pal Hal and beat up some rent-a-soldiers.

"well ... uh ... actually this is my BDSM outfit. heh."

X-Men Legacy #237 (Marvel)
Mike Carey/Greg Land/Jay Leisten/Justin Ponsor/Cory Petit (cover: Adi Granov)
what we learned: aren't you glad they resurrected Doug Ramsey? and they say diplomatic and linguistic skills are useless in battle. suspiciously, Colossus' broken arm is not shown at all.
oh shit moment: two for me: Magneto bleeding for the X-Men once again in a very long time, and Hope having the balls to threaten the de facto leader of an endangered species. really.
what's next: bring on Bastion!!! (i wonder if Scott Lobdell or Pascual Ferry is reading this crossover?)

see, if only Jean was that frisky ...

Fantastic Four #580 (Marvel)
Jonathan Hickman/Neil Edwards/Andrew Currie/Paul Mounts/Rus Wooton (cover: Alan Davis/Mark Farmer/Javier Rodriguez)
what we learned: Toys R Us is actually a front for Arcade (no longer a premiere X-villain) and the Impossible Man is an NYC gadabout with a semblance of social responsibility (you mean to say no one mistakes him for a Skrull?). much more interesting is Reed's Future Foundation, where a disparate young cast of characters is mentored by Mr. Fantastic to generate ideas for the betterment of mankind. no, not the wrestler.
oh shit moment: the Future Foundation's first project: to cure Ben Grimm! ok, not a total cure, but its a start. the Thing's inability to become human and the subsequent frustration of trying to be normal is a Marvel tradition. Jonathan Hickman, just like Ed Brubaker and that Bucky thing before him, is poised to upend the apple cart.
what's next: don't call him Rocky no more! no, seriously, please let this not be a dead end. Ben needs this as much as we fans do.


Avengers #2 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Dean White/Cory Petit
to get to the future, they need a binoculars. then a ride. so they ask Space Ghost Penis to help. then (less than) Wonder Man shows up angry, disappears. then some Horsemen show up, also angry. next issue, they fight.

Secret Warriors #17 (Marvel)
Jonathan Hickman/Alessandro Vitti/Imaginary Friends Studio/Dave Lanphear (cover: Jim Cheung/Mark Morales/Justin Ponsor)
what we learned: smelling blood in the water, Nick Fury unleashes all his teams on the warring Hydra and Leviathan. the narrative though is post-event, as Dum Dum and Jasper Sitwell are grilled in a secret meeting convened by the UN Security Council. oh, and there's a party and Steve Rogers feels like a 20 year old man again.
oh shit moment: Howling Commandos silenced forevermore?
what's next: Howling Commandos silenced forevermore?


Thunderbolts #145 (Marvel)
Jeff Parker/Kev Walker/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne
i commend Luke Cage for taking the task of running Marvel's rehab program and facing threats with a bunch of guys who might just stab him in the back, front, side or wherever they please. nanites or no nanites, something bad's gonna happen.

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne (Marvel)
Grant Morrison/Yanick Paquette/Michel Lacombe/Nathan Fairbairn/Jared Fletcher (covers: Andy Kubert/Yanick Paquette)
what we learned: some people might scoff at at the whole Final Crisis/Batman RIP thing as poorly-conceived non-permanent-event ripoff. that may be so, but it allowed us to have Batman & Robin and the Return of Bruce Wayne. in his trek back from the past, Bruce gets involved with Blackbeard the Pirate and upholds his legacy as the Man of Bats in the most amazing way.
oh shit moment: a dazed Bruce takes the cape and takes on the buccaneers with the Bat People. whooooooooo!
what's next: Jonah Hex! Cowboy Batman! yeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaawww!


Wolverine: Weapon X #14 (Marvel)
Jason Aaron/Ron Garney/Jason Keith/Matt Milla/Cory Petit (cover: Garney/Morry Hollowell)
what we learned: this Deathlok is a murderer revived as a killing machine (what's new?). but there's a conscience there somehow.
oh shit moment: the future human resistance decides to go after the civilian identities of the Deathloks in the past - while they're still kids.
what's next: Peace, 'Lok!!


Joker's Asylum: Killer Croc (DC)
Mike Raicht/David Yardin/Cliff Richards/Rodney Ramos/Jose Villarubia/Patrick Brosseau (cover: Francesco Mattina)
what we learned: despite the fear you have for Killer Croc as he chased you down the sewer tunnels of Arkham Asylum, there are bigger and viler beasts among men that you need to be more afraid of. and oh, did Francesco Mattina switch to DC already?
oh shit moment: we knew were it was going but the betrayal was painful nonetheless.
what's next: i think i need to check out the other Joker's Asylum titles i missed.


Power Girl #13 (DC)
Judd Winick/Sami Basri/Sunny Gho/John J. Hill
i know y'all miss Amanda Conner, but you should give this Basri guy a chance. and a serious story for a change.

Green Lantern Corps #49 (DC)
Tony Bedard/Ardian Syaf/Vicente Cifuentes/Randy Mayor/Gabe Eltaeb/Steve Wands (cover: Syaf/Cifuentes/Ulises Arreola, variant: Patrick Gleason/John Dell/Mayor)
what we learned: the rebellious Alpha Lanterns' recruitment drive is in full swing and it may have added Jon Stewart. opps, i meant John Stewart. dumb keyboard.
oh shit moment: who's behind all this nonsense? no, not Tony Bedard! its the i-wanna-die-but-i-cant Cyborg Superman! paging Dr. Kevorkian!
what's next: paging Dr. Kevorkian!

things i liked this week

Thunderbolts #144
Jeff Parker/Kev Walker/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne (cover: Marko Djurdjevic)

by now, everyone who follows the Marvel U and the T-Bolts in particular are probably in an ICU, for the nerd-neurysm that Jeff Parker gave them last Wednesday. in fact, i am typing this with my mind, because i have lost control of my motor skills.

Secret Avengers #1 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Mike Deodato/Rain Beredo/Dave Lanphear (cover: Marko Djurdjevic)
Avengers fans who also follow the T-Bolts and didn't get to read T-Bolts #144 probably landed first in the hospital because of this.

Wolverine: Weapon X #13 (Marvel)
Jason Aaron/Ron Garney/Jason Keith/Cory Petit (cover: Garney/Morry Hollowell)

the action heats up as Logan and Bucky Cap track down the inventor of the original Deathlok designer. curiosity arises as what's the beef between Logan and Buck (Natasha maybe?). anyhoo, they're unable to prevent Deathlok from reconfiguring himself and they're back on their heels. nice twist: the death of the future amazing Spider-Man.

Scalped #38 (DC/Vertigo)
Jason Aaron/R.M. Guera/Guilia Brusco/Steve Wands (cover: Jock)

Wade the Indian, a veteran soldier, whose lineage include nameless patriots who died for their country, is the luckiest man alive in terms of being able to escape certain death in the jungles of Vietnam. he's even considered unworthy to be killed by the Saigon residents in the final day of the war. now he's back in the US, and there seems to be a connection with him and the late Gina Bad Horse. hmm, Dashielle's dad then?

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #2 (DC)
Grant Morrison/Frazer Irving/Jared Fletcher (cover: Andy Kubert/Irving)

i confess it took me a couple of reads, but i get it. Bruce reappears in puritanical New England (i presume) and right away puts logic and common sense over the close-minded and religious beliefs of the times. hot on his heels are Superman, Booster Gold, Rip Hunter and the rest of his friends who are impressed by the fact that he survived Final Crisis, but are also there in fact to stop him because, well, that's where things get complicated as Darkseid designed it to use Bruce as a doomsday Trojan horse. but this is Bruce we're talking about here - am sure he also solved that part too.

Thor #610 (Marvel)
Kieron Gillen/Doug Braithwaite/Andy Troy/Paul Mounts/Joe Sabino (cover: Mico Suayan/Laura Martin)

an epilogue of sorts to Siege, but with a final clash with that annoying Ragnarok a.k.a. Clor. i was surprised Tony or Reed ("short-sighted men") didn't show up here to help Thor take him down once and for all, which would also prove that either of them regret ever building that junk in the first place. it was heartbreaking to see Bill (Not Beta) alive in Valhalla, all but touchable by Kelda. and with Loki's disappearance, the wool has been pulled once again over the Asgardians' eyes. i'm glad Thor didn't accept the offer to be king again, because he's gonna be a goddarned regular Avenger from hereon. not sure though where this title goes from here (apart from the rebuilding of Asgard in one form or another). Straczynski successfully brought Thor back, and Gillen ends the chapter with the Asgardians tied in much tighter with the 616 universe.

Detective Comics #865 (DC)
David Hine/Jeremy Haun/David Baron/Todd Klein

so ... you think Jeremiah Arkham was the weakest link eh? the only thing about potentially one of the most damaging Bat villains in years isn't his own man, because he's merely a Joker co-creation.

Mystery Society (IDW)
Steve Niles/Fiona Staples/Robbie Robbins

Nick Mystery is like a modern day Indiana Jones figure but dealing more with conspiracy theories, government secrets and the fantastical. along with his wife, he forms the Mystery Society, but in the present day, he's being hauled off to prison for a variety of charges. this is basically an origin story, but it evokes some Hellboy and some Jonathan Hickman-S.H.I.E.L.D. (you know its good when its being referenced after only one issue).

Amazing Spider-Man #632 (Marvel)
Zeb Wells/Chris Bachalo/Emma Rios/Tim Townsend/Jaime Mendoza/Victor Olazaba/Antonio Fabela/Joe Caramagna (variant cover: Jay Anacleto/Brian Haberlin/Bob McLeod)

easily one of the best storylines of the year, Shed is another prime example why Spider-Man ABND (After Brand New Day) is one of the best Marvel titles again. and if they're making Spider-Man IV, its the Lizard's time to shed, ... i mean, shine!

X-Force #27 (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/Mike Choi/Sonia Oback/Cory Petit (cover: Adi Granov, variant cover: David Finch/Matt Banning/Peter Steigerwald)

its a very bad time to be a mutant. Nimrod-class sentinels from the future have trapped the X-Men in San Francisco and have inflicted heavy damages. the 10 pages dedicated to the battle - with no dialogue or sound effects - evoke memories of Superman vs. Doomsday. Cyclops' only card is to send X-Force to that future and somehow shut down the Sentinels with Doug's power (uh, couldn't Magneto or Box do this? oh right, the latter is outside the dome). expect more casualties before this thing is over. and oh yeah, i expect to see that talk between Ororo and Cyke about X-Force.

X-Men: Blind Science (Marvel)
Simon Spurrier/Paul Davidson/Francis Portela/Chris Sotomayor/Rob Steen (cover: Gerald Parel)

goddamn, i like Dr. Nemesis! i want him to be more vocal and more sarcastic and more smart-assy when he's talking to Cyke and the inner council around Utopia (God knows, Hank lost his sense of humor during one of his evolution phases and Bobby isn't that funny). wait, there may not be an Utopia after Bastion is done with them.

obviously, they're NOT Thundercats.

Doomwar #4 (Marvel)
Jonathan Maberry/Scot Eaton/Andy Lanning/Robert Campanella/Jean-Francois Beaulieu/Cory Petit (cover: John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Dean White)
this title has taken a backseat to Siege and Second Coming but it really should have been finished even before Soldier Field got blown to bits. and just when you think all is lost, and everything is gloom and (pun intended) doom, this guy shows up:


Green Lantern #54 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Doug Mahnke/Christian Alamy/Tom Nguyen/Keith Champagne/Randy Mayor/Gabe Eltaeb/Nick J. Napolitano (cover: Shane Davis/Sandra Hope/Barbara Ciardo, variant cover: Alex Garner)

what do i like about this issue? hmmm. Atrocitus in the New York subway. Sinestro kind of being the grumpy uncle to Hal and Carol. the continuing mystery of who's collecting entities that used to reside in each ring color (?). and then the appearance of this guy:

Green Lantern Corps #48 (DC)
Tony Bedard/Ardian Syaf/Vicente Cifuentes/Randy Mayor/Gabe Eltaeb/Carrie Strachan/Steve Wands (cover: Rodolfo Migliari, variant cover: Pat Gleason/Mark Irwin/Mayor)

Ganthet continues his attention-hogging drama queen antics by renouncing his Guardianship and becoming a Green Lantern. what's next, he's gonna have his own reality TV show? anyway, some Alpha Lanterns are secretly massing and recruiting for something. what i want to know is: what's Guy been put up to by Ganthet that he claims will result in having his friendship with Hal to be over.

The Thanos Imperative: Ignition one shot (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Brad Walker/Andrew Hennessy/Wil Quintana/Joe Caramagna (cover: Aleksi Briclot)

and just in case somebody dozed off on the cosmic ongoings out there, this is a reminder that Thanos has come back! but he may not be the biggest threat at all - his name starts with the letter M and rhymes with "Barvell". oh ftaghn, oh ftaghn, oh ftaghn!! (wait, fark sounds better)

Power Girl #12 (DC)
Justin Gray/Jimmy Palmiotti/Amanda Conner/Paul Mounts/John J. Hill
need i say more? let's celebrate the last hurrah with the departure of Amanda Conner and the rest of the crew. any chance of having the Dodsons take over this title?

things i liked this week

X-Men Second Coming one-shot (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/David Finch/Matt Banning/Peter Steigerwald/Joe Caramagna (cover: Adi Granov, variant cover: Finch with Jason Keith)

has Finch been around too long that i think of this dirty rough-edged work with old colleague Batt kind of a throwback? is Hope Summers a positive or a negative? also, see X-23 make a point!

Blackest Night #8 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Ivan Reis/Oclair Albert/Joe Prado/Alex Sinclair/Nick Napolitano (variant cover: Doug Mahnke)

did anybody notice that this was released leading up to the Easter weekend? the conclusion, although nothing totally surprising, has mixed results with the fan base. certain characters were brought back for a reason (and the reason being "we can have more events with them!" - they weren't randomly pulled from a bag). and i can certainly agree with Geoff Johns that Ivan Reis is a god - imagine drawing all this craziness for eight straight issues. we need to give him a White Lantern ring. wait, that's totally gay.

X-Factor #203 (Marvel)
Peter David/Val De Landro/Pat Davidson/Jeromy Cox/Cory Petit (cover: David Yardin/Nathan Fairbairn)
Monet goes to rescue her father in South America. probably kidnapped by Nazis hiding there. anyhoo, look who's got a mad-on for her! woooohoooooo!!!


Gotham City Sirens #10 (DC)
Paul Dini/Andres Guinaldo/Raul Fernandez/Ian Hannin/Sal Cipriano (cover: Guillem March)
listen, there's only one Fable that works - its that book by Bill Willingham. anyway, Doctor Aesop? pffffft. also: the girls' relationship with Riddler? pffffft.


Realm of Kings: Inhumans #5 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Pablo Raimondi/Tim Seeley/Victor Olazaba/Adriano Lucas (cover: Stjepan Sejic)
say what??? this is all a sham? oh, wait till Thanos returns. and the real Maximus comes back.


X-Force #25 (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/Clayton Crain/Cory Petit

Attack of the 50-foot giant, blue, goth goddess sexbomb! hey, question: doesn't anybody question why certain mutants show up in Cerebra as Colorado visitors every so often? do the Cuckoos mindwipe those who notice?

Cloak and Dagger #1 (Marvel)
Stuart Moore/Mark Brooks/Walden Wong/Emily Warren/Dave Sharpe
riddle me this, Batman! are Tandy and Ty doing what they do as a woman and a man?

Green Hornet #2 (Dynamite)
Kevin Smith/Phil Hester/Jonathan Lau/Ivan Nunes/Simon Bowland (covers: Alex Ross/John Cassaday/Joe Benitez)
out with the old, in with the new. one thing sure, Southwest Airlines is not a sponsor of this book.


Punisher #15
Rick Remender/Roland Boschi/Dan Brown/Lee Loughridge/Joe Caramagna (cover: Mike McKone/Morry Hollowell)

Frank versus dead Nazis, samurais and Hellsgaard! what more do you want? oh wait, is Frankencastle concept ending?

The Sword #23 (Image)
Joshua Luna/Jonathan Luna

you know that line that goes 'that the greatest trick the devil played was to make everyone believe he never existed' or something like that? well .... kinda something like that.