a woman's worth

drive-by readings

Wonder Woman #601 (DC) "Past Imperfect, Present Tense" J. Michael Straczynski Don Kramer Michael Babinski Alex Sinclair Travis Lanham Alex Garner (variant cover)

what we learned: we get the backstory of why there are no more Amazons - man wiped them out! how original. anyhoo, apparently, there's still some survivors hiding out in Turkey, and Diana, who now can't fly, has to hitch a plane ride with the bad guys to reach them. she promised to kill everyone who was involved in the destruction of the Amazons, so i wonder what happens when she remembers (and meets) Max Lord again.
oh shit moment: Wizard Magazine ran its umpteenth "Who Should Play Wonder Woman" feature.
what's next: a woman's wrath, hopefully.


Diana's winning form for So You Think You Can Dance.

the weekly hits

no time to do much this holiday weekend, so i'll just settle for doing the weekly hits.

Action Comics #890 (DC)
Paul Cornell/Pete Woods/Brad Anderson/Rob Leigh (covers: David Finch/Joe Weems/Peter Steigerwald)
what we learned: Lex Luthor is a sick devious bastard (yeah i guess you can consider his Earth-Two counterpart mostly from the same cloth). after his stint as an Orange Lantern, he wants to wield any kind of ring again (black?), and he'll stop at nothing to get one. to this end, he invents some kind of black ring energy detecting/mapping device. Woods didn't impress during Amazons Attack! but he's rolling now.
holy shit moment: before he gets started on his plans, a bunch of superpowered beings drop by and kidnap him, culminating in the reveal of their leader ... another certain sick devious bastard in the form of a worm.
what's next: exclamation: awesome!


Wonder Woman #600 (DC)
Gail Simone/Amanda Conner/Louise Simonson/Geoff Johns/J. Michael Straczynski/George Perez/Eduardo Pansica/Scott Kolins/Don Kramer/Scott Koblish/Bob Wiacek/Michael Babinski/Hi-Fi/Paul Mounts/Pete Pantazis/Michael Atiyeh/Alex Sinclair/Travis Lanham/John J. Hill/Nick J. Napolitano (and a bunch of masters of pin-ups!)
what we learned: what else can we say about this that hasn't been said yet? to recap, maybe you should go over to When Fangirls Attack. just remember this issue has five stories in it, not just the costume change.
holy shit moment: personally, i prefer the pin-ups. sue me.
what's next: i want Power Girl to explain "manga monster" to Diana. please? pretty please?


Batman Beyond #1 (DC)
Adam Beechen/Ryan Benjamin/John Stanisci/David Baron/Travis Lanham (cover: Dustin Nguyen, variant: J.H. Williams II)
what we learned: somebody is offing Batman's old enemies, and his name probably rhymes with "slush". also, gimpy old Bruce Wayne needs to be slapped for years of child abuse and slave labor, not even allowing future protege the luxury of sleep.
holy shit moment: "slush".
what's next: "slush".


Justice Society of America #40 (DC)
Bill Willingham/Jesus Merino/Jesse Delperdang/Rob Leigh/Allen Passalaqua
what we learned: i learned that am a little thrown off when the expected thrilling conclusion to a nail-biting story comes off as a post-event narrative. and a long one at that.
holy shit moment: Obsidian is gay? really? i probably don't read enough! dammit! and him and his old man hate the Yankees? oh no, they didn't!!
what's next: apparently, something called the Dark Things, and a(nother) crossover with the JLA.


Thor #611 (Marvel)
Kieron Gillen/Rich Elson/Andy Troy/Joe Sabino (cover: Mico Suayan/Laura Martin)
what we learned: oh Loki, what have ye wrought? even in death (and i use that term loosely, because we all know the bugger is alive), his mischief yields other bad things, as the Disir, the cursed dead-eating maidens of Bor, now servants to Mephisto, wants to have the Asgardian dead under Hela's protection to be on their all-you-can-eat menu.
holy shit moment: the Disir are no slouches in combat. Hela? regular unbelieving Asgardian? (motions finger across throat)
what's next: are we gonna see a Mephisto/Disir orgy? whoooooaaaaa. you did not just imagine that in your head.


Secret Avengers #2 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Mike Deodato/Will Conrad/Rain Beredo/Dave Lanphear (cover: Marko Djurdjevic)
what we learned: the mystery of the Serpent Crown deepens. we know Nova got taken over by the Crown, and he's without his Worldmind helmet. its strangely appealing to see Moon Knight addressing Steve as "Commander" and generally being a team player, and for Rhodey not to take any BS from the rookie hero Eric O'Grady.
holy shit moment: there are three crowns?
what's next: who. is. this. Nick. Fury? Jake?


Astonishing X-Men #34 (Marvel)
Warren Ellis/Phil Jimenez/Andy Lanning/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna
what we learned: Armor is 8 years old, Storm can read topography with the weather patterns, and their newest villain's aspirations and breadth of work may rival Bastion's in the current Second Coming crossover.
holy shit moment: you may want the action part. but the opening philosophical debate between Hank McCoy and Scott Summers was a long time in coming.
what's next: who is this Kaga, and why is he bald and in a wheelchair?


Flash #3 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Francis Manapul/Brian Buccellato/Sal Cipriano (variant cover: Greg Horn)
what we learned: Barry Allen is being set up for murder and a bunch of future Rogues (Renegades) are trying to arrest him. also the original Cap'n Boomerang is back, trim and fit. see, there's hope for fat people like me who have one foot in the grave.
holy shit moment: the reborn Digger Harkness can conjure up energy boomerangs from thin air? take that, Fred Myers!
what's next: i hope its a punch up or a team up between Barry and Digger, as i'm warming up to this series ...


Death of Dracula (one shot) (Marvel)
Victor Gischler/Guiseppe Camuncoli/Onofrio Cattachio/Frank D'Armata/Jeff Eckleberry (cover: Camuncoli/Marko Djurdjevic)
what we learned: capitalizing on #twihard, the vampires are about to make a return splash to the MU. apparently, there's a bunch of vampire sects operating out there ruled by Lord Dracula (huh? didn't he die in Captain Britain & MI:13?), and his son Xarus decides that they should stop trying to keep to themselves and mounts a coup (hence the title of this book). he's got an ace up his sleeve - they can now become daywalkers, you see. his other son Janus is on the other side of the fence, and in this regard, he may have to call the X-Men. or Blade.
holy shit moment: well, the death of Dracula, duh. although it was too easy. even the MU heroes had a hard time beating him.
what's next: We Are the X-Men. Gischler takes over mutant writer duties.

happy 4th of July

and like the Internet wasn't broken in half yet after the announcement.

image via scifiwire

suck it up, boys and girls. she'll be in the new duds for awhile, then once you start warming up with this new take, they'll turn back time to mess with your heads. or start campaigning early for this. vote with your dollars! its the American way!

snaps: Blackest Night: Wonder Woman #2

... where we get more girl-on-girl action than the TNA Knockout Tag Team Championship. or not. what we know is, there should be a March Madness-style, single elimination tournament for DC female characters. minus the Mortal Kombat characters. anyone for Power Girl versus Diana for the championship? c'mon, Midway Games and Warner Bros, make this happen!

apparently, Rudolph lost his title for reddest nose of 2009.


i heard Diana wanted to get pierced but this is ridiculous.


c'mon, that's so cliche! hey, Ocean Master, care to file a complaint??


of course, this really doesn't happen but that shocked you all for 10 seconds. and that's what Greg Rucka WANTS.


no, he's not dead!! he's trapped in time and coming back to you in couple of thousand years (two in DCU time).



ditch the collar and that ridiculous faceplate and we're talking, baby!!

AW HELL NO!!!!!

you hit like a girl! #9

Wonder Woman hits harder than guys hitting on her.











and even if they just look like a guy.

green machine

this geekfest appeared in Men's Fitness (May 2006), with consultancy provided by Jim McLauchlin (ex-writer/editor, Wizard Magazine). its Superhero Survivor, and not everyone will agree with the results. obviously a lot has happened since then.

right off the bat, am not sure, because the Surfer just regained the power Cosmic. although Planet Hulk showed the Hulk could, ... still.

only if they're talking of this Superfriends-version Aquaman, who's a putz. the hook-version Aquaman would stab Diana in the chest just to check if they were made of silicon. ok, ok, Diana by sucker punch.

naaahhh ... not true. Rogue can absorb Spidey's powers temporarily and turn the tables on him. he needs one lucky punch. only Remy can distract Rogue.

i'll admit this could go down Stewart's way, but more so if Hal was the one in costume. plus Cap's dead at this time. duh.

what the hell-? Veronica could have slipped Archie a few Kryptonite pebbles, courtesy of her father's vast connections to the movers and shakers, like, say, Bruce Wayne, no? dumbass.

"tough guy over nerd"? what is this, high school? Mr. Fantastic would neutralize Daredevil easily, if only he could get out of his lab.

i think i'd agree here, but only by a hair. both are rich, well-trained, cunning strategists, and always think 20 steps ahead of the opposition. so i guess the only advantage would be ... who's the most stable and yet has the hottest chick. Storm (Mrs. T'Challa) beats any of Bruce Wayne's chick flavor of the month.

but Wolverine's senses would pick up Wally way before he can get close. Wally'd better make sure he vibrates through Logan's brain and heart, before his body realizes its jogging through China without a head.

did anyone download that porn version of this battle?



that's the "strongest weapon in the universe" for you, but who's asking. anyway, without the will, the 'wishing ring' would be nothing. Spidey's only prayer is to snatch the bling before John does his thing.

again, where's the damn Kryptonite?? chances are, Daredevil would have better odds winning a court case against Superman, than actually going up against him.

disagree. the Panther would figure out a way to slow Wally down. if not, there's always those two frogs.

yeah, forget Doomsday ... Superman would die a second time if he threw the Hulk into that damned planet and Hulk thinks he killed his wife and unborn son. there's a What If for you, Joe & Dan!

uh oh! a fight between two symbolic best friends. i can't even vote on this.


and duh-dun-duhhn!!!! the final battle is ... all green.


Hulk rakes the green!

cliffhanger of the week #17

#10 - Pump Up The Jam

in the Ultimate Universe, not only is Colossus gay, he's doing drugs! he could have kept the second thing secret, except a bunch of steroid-pumped Canadian freaks just came in, kicked their asses, and left with his boyfriend Northstar. now he wants his mates to take the Banshee drug too, and get some payback at Alpha Flight. surprisingly, boy scout Cyclops agrees.

Ultimate X-Men #94 (Marvel)
Aron Coleite/Mark Brooks/Jaime Mendoza/Troy Hubbs/Edgar Delgado/Albert Deschesne


#9 - The God Squad

while everyone else is fighting everyone else (can't be too careful you know), Hercules and Amadeus Cho take the fight where it matters - right back to Skrull homeworld. and with lots of gods in tow. now this should be interesting.

Incredible Hercules #117 (Marvel)
Greg Pak/Fred Van Lente/Rafa Sandoval/Roger Bonet/Martegod Gracia/Joe Caramagna


#8 - Claws to You

back in Gotham, Selina's quick-thinking puts her in the perfect position to take back all what was taken from her. that means we're gonna see a lot of chick kicking ass before this series is over. can't wait.

Catwoman #79 (DC)
Will Pfeiffer/David Lopez/Alvard Lopez/Jeromy Cox/Jared Fletcher


#7 - The Mind is a Terrible Thing to ...

Diana has lost her mind. to an entity that has no soul. now she's fighting alongside Beowulf in a bar full of sword-bearing drinks. Red Sonja ain't got nothing on her. whoopeee.

Wonder Woman #20 (DC)
Gail Simone/Aaron Lopresti/Matt Ryan/Brad Anderson/Travis Lanham


#6 - The Best Laid Plans

a rogue ex-SHIELD agent wants to prove himself and rebuild the Overkill Horn, but the result of his efforts only prove his skillz are inferior to Stark's and the only thing he can do is stir up a lot of shit. by 'shit', we mean the nano robot cloud just made something a lot more creative than Lego.

Iron Man #29 (Marvel)
Stuart Moore/Roberto De la Torre/Carlo Pagulayan/Jeffrey Huet/Dean White/Joe Caramagna/cover: Adi Granov


#5 - Scales of Justice

an old foe come back and its like he's just never exerted himself. now he wants to reorganize the Injustice Gang, which he's the original founder anyway. this also means all the DC villains have returned from that alien planet in Salvation Run (which of course, is still to be detailed in issue #8!). no matter, this time it seems Libra can give the bad guys their hearts' desire. don't let Hillary hear that.

Justice League of America #21 (DC)
Dwayne McDuffie/Carlos Pacheco/Jesus Merino/Pete Pantazis/Rob Leigh


#4 - The Dark Side

the invasion is not so secret anymore, and the only thing going for the good guys is the Skrulls can't duplicate the Sentry's powers, 'cause he's much more diverse guy than anybody else. so they decide to drive him mad. which may or may not be a good thing.

Mighty Avengers #14 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/Khoi Pham/Danny Miki/Dean White/Dave Lanphear/cover: Marko Djurdjevic


#3 - Old Soldiers

Frank bitchslaps the Special Ops squad assigned to bring him down, but he leaves them alive. infuriated, they track him down again but this time he has lots of bombs and an itchy trigger finger. and he wants to negotiate. just like Teddy Roosevelt.

Punisher #57 (Marvel)
Garth Ennis/Goran Parlov/Lee Loughridge/Cory Petit/cover: Tim Bradstreet


#2 - The Gog Must Be Crazy

so this Gog pretender isn't really Gog, but an avatar of sorts. so when the real Gog shows up ... well, you better make sure you're here next month. these things never end on the negotiation table.

Justice Society of America #15 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Dale Eaglesham/Prentiss Rollins/Alex Sinclair/Rob Leigh/cover: Alex Ross


#1 - Who Lets the Dog Out

a-haha! so its not really Steve Rogers, but its that 50's Cap, who's supposed to be dead. well, if wishes were fishes, blah blah blah. all we know now is the villains are fielding a Captain America of their own, and a presidential hopeful. they keep saying they're neither Democrat nor Republican, but we all know who's the sinister candidate, eh, Hillary?

Captain America #38 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Steve Epting/Mike Perkins/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna

cliffhanger of the week #8

counting down the best (i.e., the ones i read) cliffhangers of the week.


#7 - Diana The Khund

what? our Wonder Woman could be an alien? did that lump of goo contain some Khund DNA? why is she even believing this crap? the Khunds, a galactic conquering empire based on legends of Attila (Attila the Khund) or Gengis (Gengis Khund) recruits Diana - in the middle of her courting Tom Tresser a.k.a. Nemesis (what? you mean she's over Clark and Bruce?) - to help them repel another alien race. turns out these Khunds are pussies. and liars.

Wonder Woman #18 (DC)
Gail Simone/Bernard Chang/I.L.L./Rob Leigh

#6 - E.T. Ain't Phoning Home

speaking of aliens, how surprised were you like Ollie and Dinah to find that the suspects in Connor's kidnapping were of the unearthly kind? what a real close encounter, the kind where i'd like an autoloading crossbow in my hands! by the way, what happened to Dinah's plans to semi-retire to rear a kid and get married? damn aliens and villains screwing up family plans!

Green Arrow and Black Canary #5 (DC)
Judd Winick/Cliff Chiang/David Baron/Travis Lanham

#5 - We Have Explosive

take a big explosion, some may-jah characters and put them all in on the last page of any comic. presto! instant cliffhanger! after forcing Dr. Doom to bring them back to their proper timeline, Iron Man and the loopy Sentinel find themselves without Doom, and with a frantic Ms Marvel warning them to get away from the - yep, an explosion. oh well. see ya next month.

Mighty Avengers #10 (Marvel)
Brian Bendis/Mark Bagley/Danny Miki/Allen Martinez/Justin Ponsor/Dave Lanphear

#4 - Battlefield Hearth

so far the Millar/Hitch/Neary combo has been on schedule (yeah, wait till they get six, eight issues in), and serving up a healthy dose of sci-fi. Reed's ex and brainiac peer, Alyssa Castle, has developed a replica Earth where we can all go continue our destructive civilized way of life after this one has passed on. its supposed to be a better version, a true Utopia where all past mistakes have been taken into account, and we can start new generations with better lives. of course, that's when it all starts going wrong. speaking of wrong, what if you were the goody rock star and Miley Cyrus was the bad girl groupie? Johnny Storm has got a story for ya!

Fantastic Four #555 (Marvel)
Mark Millar/Bryan Hitch/Paul Neary/Paul Mounts/Rus Wooton

#3 - The Name of the Game

is there still an X-Factor? Rahne left to join X-Force, Rictor is a human, Laila's stuck in the future, Theresa is pregnant, Monet thinks Jamie is a sleazebag (only because he doesn't know he's the daddy), and Guido is seeing things. well, relatively. its the perfect time for an old villain to strike. i'll give you a couple of hints: the word denotes where your parents used to find you spending your lunch money when you were a kid, and it starts with the first letter of the alphabet. "Armory"? wrong!

X-Factor #29 (Marvel)
Peter David/Valentine De Landro/Andrew Hennessy/Jerony Cox/Cory Petit

#2 - Heeeeeeere's Warlock!

let's give a warm welcome to the return of self-friend Warlock to the Marvel Universe! and appearing in a sci-fi-slanted comic makes much more sense, despite spending all those years with the junior X-Men. true to the Technarch way of life, father raises son, son defeats father. now that Warlock is a pappy himself and has no time for any other distractions, looks like Nova's last hope of beating the Phalanx virus just went down the drain.

Nova #11 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Paul Pelletier/Rick Magyar/Guru eFX/Cory Petit

#1 - And Heeeeeeere's Warlock!

Messrs Abnett and Lanning land two cliffhangers this month, and both have Warlocks in them. sadly, in this case, he won't be a Warlock any longer, because everyone's favorite cosmic pin up boy has just been co-opted by Ultron. that's it, cash out your stocks, buy a spaceship and get the hell out of this galaxy. or just kill yourself now. the Earth is doomed.

Annihilation: Conquest #5 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Tom Raney/Scott Hanna/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna