Warriors Three Reboot

So this week was a triple shot espresso courtesy of Marvel. First, they gave us ...

via

Oh wait, that's not the female Thor they were rolling out soon. So apparently, Thor (the Thor we all know and love, that lout) will become unworthy of Mjolnir, and thus another hammer-bearer is needed. Apparently also, Beta Ray Bill was not answering his phone.

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All bets are on the recently-acquired comic character/property Angela as the new Goddess of Thunder (what if it was Sif all along?). And although they say she "... isn't a temporary female substitute", how many issues or months would you bet before Thor Odinson regains the hammer? I'll wager less than 3 years, for one big crossover again.

Not too surprising is the ascension of Sam Wilson as the new (albeit temporary, i dare you challenge me) Captain America. I was thinking they would find a cure for Steve Rogers' dilemma in time, but I guess this was one of those insidious long-term plans concocted during one of those Marvel retreats. And why not? Marvel's batting average has been on the rise in the last 14 years.

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Lastly, we are going to have an Iron Man that's "... hard to root for." Yes, the return of Drunk Tony!! Oh, wait, its going to be a Superior Iron Man. Hubris will be the norm, as Tony apparently continues the legacy of Steve Jobs (in more ways than one) and kind of forces his vision on the world (or in this case, San Francisco) because he knows he's right. You know he's always right. He may have gone too far with his Illuminati machinations, but .... you know he's right. 

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October can't be too far away. Enough time to grab the popcorn eh?

i'll be there for you

drive-by readings

Thor, The Mighty Avenger #4 (Marvel) "Boys' Night Out" Roger Langridge Chris Samnee Matthew Wilson Rus Wooton Samnee/Christina Strain (cover)

what we learned: with the arrival of the Warriors Three (always heartwarming), Thor gets a night out ... in Norway. he also makes friends with Captain Britain. after a fashion.
oh shit moment: rocketing from above, the pride of Britannia scatters the gods like leaves.
what's next: Thursday means Thor's Day. so there's gonna be a celebration?


there's a GPS sale at Best Buy, godlings ...

semi-kind of victory

drive-by readings

Thor #614 (Marvel) "The Fine Print Part 4" Kieron Gillen Doug Braithwaite John Rauch Andy Troy June Chung Joe Sabino Mico Suayan/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: Loki's treachery is revealed! Thor realizes the breadth and width of his half-brother's machinations, and with Loki not in Hel's books, he'll have a devil of a time putting him down next time. well, no one's going to learn from this anyway. soon, they'll be back welcoming him with open arms and mugfuls of mead.
oh shit moment: Thor stabbing Kelda (relax, its because Loki put malware in her to break the Asgardians' morale and as an added bonus, assassinate Balder). also when Thor gets the Eir-Gram free and cuts down the Disir - that's mythic.
what's next: get ready for more action, 'cause here comes Matt Fraction!


sometimes, just sometimes, you still need violence against women.

tempest in a kettle

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Thor: For Asgard #1 (Marvel) "Asgard Part One" Robert Rodi Simone Bianchi Simone Peruzzi Cory Petit

what we learned: in what seems to be an alternate reality (or a footnote in long immortal Asgardian history), Thor has been left in charge of Asgard after Balder's murder (instigated by Loki, who has since fled - sound familiar?) and finds himself presiding over territorial wars without, and petty bickering within. much worse ...
oh shit moment: ... he can't lift his goddamned hammer.
what's next: Rodi returns to familiar territory (after 2004's Loki) and is ably supported by some of Bianchi's best work. why does it look like Odin is just hanging around Asgard secretly? and why has Thor lost his mojo? (well, not in the bedroom, if you ask Sif)


"Dulcolax!! verily, i have need of Dulcolax, miscreants!!"

big

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Thor, The Mighty Avenger #3 (Marvel) "Here Be Giants" Roger Langridge Chris Samnee Matthew Wilson Rus Wooton

what we learned: here we see how Thor first meets the Pyms, but due to Loki's usual hijinks, Thor sees Hank Pym as a Frost Giant, and tormented by visions of his Dad and Asgardian pals. we also learn that Hank can do Jedi mind tricks, and Janet can help anyone secure job connections. see, she didn't die during Secret Invasion! wait, what ...
oh shit moment: my pea brain is just processing this - but how does Jane go from museum department head to nurse/doctor?
what's next: by what we see from the last page, its a hugfest courtesy of Volstagg.


and then there was that time that Odin got a severe case of rock diarrhea ...

separate lives

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Avengers Prime #2 (Marvel) Brian Michael Bendis Alan Davis Mark Farmer Javier Rodriguez Chris Eliopoulos

what we learned: the Avengers Big Three are separated - Thor encounters the Enchantress, who believes its his fault that the other realms are in disarray, Tony gets abducted by Fafnir's goons, and Steve, starving for love since being trapped in time, gets seduced by a sexy emphatic elf.
oh shit moment: that's me wondering how this thing fits into the current Thor story arcs where Loki (at the close of Siege) already made a deal with Hela to rent her a piece of Mephisto's land and rechristen it as Hel, which is now i suppose all of these is happening.
what's next: oh, you better run.


what, you forgot this already? Skrull!!!

ragin' asgardian

drive-by readings

The Rage of Thor (one shot) (Marvel) "The Rage of Thor" Peter Milligan Mico Suayan Matt Milla Joe Sabino

what we learned: Mico Suayan gets his shot at a companion piece to Thor #7-8 (drawn by The Awesomeness, Marko Djurdjevic). Thor, abandoning Asgard because of a frame-up (Loki, is that your hand in it?), lives as a warrior/farmer in Midgard but is forced to return to battle Surtur because of injuries to his dad Odin. eventually Thor has to temper his rage for being accused in the first place and grit his teeth at the normal Asgardian way of life - the three W's (warring, wining and wenching).
oh shit moment: Thor, despite his goody-two-shoes image, probably bedded a lot of women before Jane Foster. duh.
what's next: since the successful Straczynski reboot of 2007, i love the idea of Thor one-shots, and this should continue even if ever the main title gets cancelled (i said "if ever").


what, a Norse god with a conscience? perish the thought!

the devilish details

drive-by readings

Thor #612 (Marvel) "The Fine Print Part 2" Kieron Gillen Doug Braithwaite John Rauch Andy Troy Joe Sabino Mico Suayan/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: Thor and Tyr descend into Hela's (rented) realm to find out that they would need the Eir-Gram blade to control the Disir, and the blade has been placed in Mephisto's Hell. someone has to get it, and Tyr's not feeling up to the task (unmanly!). so, looks like Odin's favorite son is coming for the pickup.
oh shit moment: face-off between Thor and Mephisto. Thor just playing the grim-lipped god and holding back his anger. priceless.
what's next: will Thor ever know of Loki's deal with Mephisto? i want the Thunder God to beat it out of the devil.


"a simple request, Asgardian ... free tickets to your movie next year?"

little lost god

drive-by readings

Thor, The Mighty Avenger #2 (Marvel) "Hyde" Roger Langridge Chris Samnee Matthew Wilson Rus Wooton

what we learned: this kid-friendly series is a great intro for Thor to a new generation of readers, especially with the movie on the horizon. here, he's fish out of water after being cast out of Asgard and trying to walk with humans with Jane Foster as his guide. but of course, Mr. Hyde is there to mess things up.
oh shit moment: didn't know Thor could eat a lot of food! and he doesn't gain weight or get fat! what is his secret???
what's next: Jane takes Thor to Disney World!!!


what? you haven't seen the favelas yet, have you??

basic instincts

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World War Hulks: Spider-Man vs Thor #2 (Marvel) Kieron Gillen Chris Eliopoulos Jorge Molina Paul Pelletier Ronan Cliquet Patrick Scherberger Scott Koblish Edgar Delgado Rachelle Rosenberg Chris Sotomayor Clayton Cowles Barry Kitson/Dave McCaig (variant cover)

what we learned: we learned that the Marvel brain trust is never exempt from capitalizing on mindless spinoffs that do not advance the plot of the main storyline whatsoever and will cook up any excuse for mindless pummeling between their characters. i guess Marvel vs Capcom or Ultimate Alliance is not enough.
oh shit moment: you did not just say the Smithsonian museums are boring. what are these, the flexing of the id? yeah, probably.
what's next: let's just have Hulk and Skaar kill each other once and for all. or make a pure Marvel-characters-only fighting game on all platforms with killer graphics and no plot at all.


sheeeeesh. even for Peter Parker, that's inane.

a vain, greedy and cruel boy

why, you old fart - oh, wait, Odin wasn't taking to me! whew!



am glad to see these things happen in my lifetime. i just need to live up to 2012.



via NY Magazine/Trailer Addict

asgar3dians

Norse Gods get 3D treatment, according to Marvel. (via comicsalliance)

speaking of Asgardian fashion, this reminds me of Chris Giarusso's shoulda-be-classic cartoon.

the weekly hits

no time to do much this holiday weekend, so i'll just settle for doing the weekly hits.

Action Comics #890 (DC)
Paul Cornell/Pete Woods/Brad Anderson/Rob Leigh (covers: David Finch/Joe Weems/Peter Steigerwald)
what we learned: Lex Luthor is a sick devious bastard (yeah i guess you can consider his Earth-Two counterpart mostly from the same cloth). after his stint as an Orange Lantern, he wants to wield any kind of ring again (black?), and he'll stop at nothing to get one. to this end, he invents some kind of black ring energy detecting/mapping device. Woods didn't impress during Amazons Attack! but he's rolling now.
holy shit moment: before he gets started on his plans, a bunch of superpowered beings drop by and kidnap him, culminating in the reveal of their leader ... another certain sick devious bastard in the form of a worm.
what's next: exclamation: awesome!


Wonder Woman #600 (DC)
Gail Simone/Amanda Conner/Louise Simonson/Geoff Johns/J. Michael Straczynski/George Perez/Eduardo Pansica/Scott Kolins/Don Kramer/Scott Koblish/Bob Wiacek/Michael Babinski/Hi-Fi/Paul Mounts/Pete Pantazis/Michael Atiyeh/Alex Sinclair/Travis Lanham/John J. Hill/Nick J. Napolitano (and a bunch of masters of pin-ups!)
what we learned: what else can we say about this that hasn't been said yet? to recap, maybe you should go over to When Fangirls Attack. just remember this issue has five stories in it, not just the costume change.
holy shit moment: personally, i prefer the pin-ups. sue me.
what's next: i want Power Girl to explain "manga monster" to Diana. please? pretty please?


Batman Beyond #1 (DC)
Adam Beechen/Ryan Benjamin/John Stanisci/David Baron/Travis Lanham (cover: Dustin Nguyen, variant: J.H. Williams II)
what we learned: somebody is offing Batman's old enemies, and his name probably rhymes with "slush". also, gimpy old Bruce Wayne needs to be slapped for years of child abuse and slave labor, not even allowing future protege the luxury of sleep.
holy shit moment: "slush".
what's next: "slush".


Justice Society of America #40 (DC)
Bill Willingham/Jesus Merino/Jesse Delperdang/Rob Leigh/Allen Passalaqua
what we learned: i learned that am a little thrown off when the expected thrilling conclusion to a nail-biting story comes off as a post-event narrative. and a long one at that.
holy shit moment: Obsidian is gay? really? i probably don't read enough! dammit! and him and his old man hate the Yankees? oh no, they didn't!!
what's next: apparently, something called the Dark Things, and a(nother) crossover with the JLA.


Thor #611 (Marvel)
Kieron Gillen/Rich Elson/Andy Troy/Joe Sabino (cover: Mico Suayan/Laura Martin)
what we learned: oh Loki, what have ye wrought? even in death (and i use that term loosely, because we all know the bugger is alive), his mischief yields other bad things, as the Disir, the cursed dead-eating maidens of Bor, now servants to Mephisto, wants to have the Asgardian dead under Hela's protection to be on their all-you-can-eat menu.
holy shit moment: the Disir are no slouches in combat. Hela? regular unbelieving Asgardian? (motions finger across throat)
what's next: are we gonna see a Mephisto/Disir orgy? whoooooaaaaa. you did not just imagine that in your head.


Secret Avengers #2 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Mike Deodato/Will Conrad/Rain Beredo/Dave Lanphear (cover: Marko Djurdjevic)
what we learned: the mystery of the Serpent Crown deepens. we know Nova got taken over by the Crown, and he's without his Worldmind helmet. its strangely appealing to see Moon Knight addressing Steve as "Commander" and generally being a team player, and for Rhodey not to take any BS from the rookie hero Eric O'Grady.
holy shit moment: there are three crowns?
what's next: who. is. this. Nick. Fury? Jake?


Astonishing X-Men #34 (Marvel)
Warren Ellis/Phil Jimenez/Andy Lanning/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna
what we learned: Armor is 8 years old, Storm can read topography with the weather patterns, and their newest villain's aspirations and breadth of work may rival Bastion's in the current Second Coming crossover.
holy shit moment: you may want the action part. but the opening philosophical debate between Hank McCoy and Scott Summers was a long time in coming.
what's next: who is this Kaga, and why is he bald and in a wheelchair?


Flash #3 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Francis Manapul/Brian Buccellato/Sal Cipriano (variant cover: Greg Horn)
what we learned: Barry Allen is being set up for murder and a bunch of future Rogues (Renegades) are trying to arrest him. also the original Cap'n Boomerang is back, trim and fit. see, there's hope for fat people like me who have one foot in the grave.
holy shit moment: the reborn Digger Harkness can conjure up energy boomerangs from thin air? take that, Fred Myers!
what's next: i hope its a punch up or a team up between Barry and Digger, as i'm warming up to this series ...


Death of Dracula (one shot) (Marvel)
Victor Gischler/Guiseppe Camuncoli/Onofrio Cattachio/Frank D'Armata/Jeff Eckleberry (cover: Camuncoli/Marko Djurdjevic)
what we learned: capitalizing on #twihard, the vampires are about to make a return splash to the MU. apparently, there's a bunch of vampire sects operating out there ruled by Lord Dracula (huh? didn't he die in Captain Britain & MI:13?), and his son Xarus decides that they should stop trying to keep to themselves and mounts a coup (hence the title of this book). he's got an ace up his sleeve - they can now become daywalkers, you see. his other son Janus is on the other side of the fence, and in this regard, he may have to call the X-Men. or Blade.
holy shit moment: well, the death of Dracula, duh. although it was too easy. even the MU heroes had a hard time beating him.
what's next: We Are the X-Men. Gischler takes over mutant writer duties.

prime cut

drive-by readings

Avengers Prime #1 (Marvel) Brian Michael Bendis Alan Davis Mark Farmer Javier Rodriguez Chris Eliopoulos

they sure are wringing every dollar they can squeeze out of the Avengers relaunch, aren't they? and from a business point of view, Marvel can't avoid not to. and from the fans' perspective, big name creators + intriguing stories and angles = we will come.

set right in between Siege and the actual relaunch of Steve Rogers' private armies, Avengers Prime tackles the long-awaited question of how to repair the Avengers Big Three's fractured relationships, after multiple storylines since Ragnarok (not Clor) and Avengers Disassembled. though i don't think it can be done within one adventure, this is a good start. wait, i assume this happens even before Tony and Thor talk about bridging that country mile between them. in that sequence, they talk as if Avengers Prime hasn't happened yet (which gets confusing because of scheduling and deadlines). comments, fandom?

of course, thanks to Mark Millar, we will have this inevitable scene:


Tony and Steve's relationship (in the modern era, or the last 20 years) was anything except being buddy-buddy. although from my childhood, i do remember them being very best buds at least when they're having their Avengers adventures. we all grow up and their characterizations grew up as well, putting in conflict and disagreements and all those things that feed and make a friendship mature. now a sizable decade or so since Operation: Galactic Storm, Tony and Steve are once again at odds, considering things went into the toilet after Steve's death (in which Tony mourned him and said the whole thing wasn't worth it - but now, that memory's lost in history's dustbins, eh, Matt Fraction?). but then again, its always a rite of renewal - they're still going to work it out like true friends always do.

i don't know if anyone noticed but from the opening scene, Tony acts like a little boy (again) who wants to show off his toys and his smarts, trying to impress Thor that they can rebuild anything. sounds a little immature, don't you think, in the light of the destruction of Asgard around them? is this the same guy who rebooted himself at Extremis 1.0 then was shocked by his douchebaggery during the events that led to Civil War and later?

of course, the next cool scene - and this one is vintage Alan Davis - is Captain Rogers clearing out a roomful of elves.


not seeing one trademark splash page save the opener and closer, it was a pleasant visit nonetheless from old friends Davis and usual collaborator Farmer. although it seems weird that Cap takes a bunch of arrows from the scene, but not a bow? unless he turned into Bullseye all of a sudden?

with the reveal of a surprise villain in the end, keeping up with the theme in the recent Avengers-related titles, fans like me should be in for a treat.

things i liked this week

Thunderbolts #144
Jeff Parker/Kev Walker/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne (cover: Marko Djurdjevic)

by now, everyone who follows the Marvel U and the T-Bolts in particular are probably in an ICU, for the nerd-neurysm that Jeff Parker gave them last Wednesday. in fact, i am typing this with my mind, because i have lost control of my motor skills.

Secret Avengers #1 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Mike Deodato/Rain Beredo/Dave Lanphear (cover: Marko Djurdjevic)
Avengers fans who also follow the T-Bolts and didn't get to read T-Bolts #144 probably landed first in the hospital because of this.

Wolverine: Weapon X #13 (Marvel)
Jason Aaron/Ron Garney/Jason Keith/Cory Petit (cover: Garney/Morry Hollowell)

the action heats up as Logan and Bucky Cap track down the inventor of the original Deathlok designer. curiosity arises as what's the beef between Logan and Buck (Natasha maybe?). anyhoo, they're unable to prevent Deathlok from reconfiguring himself and they're back on their heels. nice twist: the death of the future amazing Spider-Man.

Scalped #38 (DC/Vertigo)
Jason Aaron/R.M. Guera/Guilia Brusco/Steve Wands (cover: Jock)

Wade the Indian, a veteran soldier, whose lineage include nameless patriots who died for their country, is the luckiest man alive in terms of being able to escape certain death in the jungles of Vietnam. he's even considered unworthy to be killed by the Saigon residents in the final day of the war. now he's back in the US, and there seems to be a connection with him and the late Gina Bad Horse. hmm, Dashielle's dad then?

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #2 (DC)
Grant Morrison/Frazer Irving/Jared Fletcher (cover: Andy Kubert/Irving)

i confess it took me a couple of reads, but i get it. Bruce reappears in puritanical New England (i presume) and right away puts logic and common sense over the close-minded and religious beliefs of the times. hot on his heels are Superman, Booster Gold, Rip Hunter and the rest of his friends who are impressed by the fact that he survived Final Crisis, but are also there in fact to stop him because, well, that's where things get complicated as Darkseid designed it to use Bruce as a doomsday Trojan horse. but this is Bruce we're talking about here - am sure he also solved that part too.

Thor #610 (Marvel)
Kieron Gillen/Doug Braithwaite/Andy Troy/Paul Mounts/Joe Sabino (cover: Mico Suayan/Laura Martin)

an epilogue of sorts to Siege, but with a final clash with that annoying Ragnarok a.k.a. Clor. i was surprised Tony or Reed ("short-sighted men") didn't show up here to help Thor take him down once and for all, which would also prove that either of them regret ever building that junk in the first place. it was heartbreaking to see Bill (Not Beta) alive in Valhalla, all but touchable by Kelda. and with Loki's disappearance, the wool has been pulled once again over the Asgardians' eyes. i'm glad Thor didn't accept the offer to be king again, because he's gonna be a goddarned regular Avenger from hereon. not sure though where this title goes from here (apart from the rebuilding of Asgard in one form or another). Straczynski successfully brought Thor back, and Gillen ends the chapter with the Asgardians tied in much tighter with the 616 universe.

Detective Comics #865 (DC)
David Hine/Jeremy Haun/David Baron/Todd Klein

so ... you think Jeremiah Arkham was the weakest link eh? the only thing about potentially one of the most damaging Bat villains in years isn't his own man, because he's merely a Joker co-creation.

Mystery Society (IDW)
Steve Niles/Fiona Staples/Robbie Robbins

Nick Mystery is like a modern day Indiana Jones figure but dealing more with conspiracy theories, government secrets and the fantastical. along with his wife, he forms the Mystery Society, but in the present day, he's being hauled off to prison for a variety of charges. this is basically an origin story, but it evokes some Hellboy and some Jonathan Hickman-S.H.I.E.L.D. (you know its good when its being referenced after only one issue).

Amazing Spider-Man #632 (Marvel)
Zeb Wells/Chris Bachalo/Emma Rios/Tim Townsend/Jaime Mendoza/Victor Olazaba/Antonio Fabela/Joe Caramagna (variant cover: Jay Anacleto/Brian Haberlin/Bob McLeod)

easily one of the best storylines of the year, Shed is another prime example why Spider-Man ABND (After Brand New Day) is one of the best Marvel titles again. and if they're making Spider-Man IV, its the Lizard's time to shed, ... i mean, shine!

X-Force #27 (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/Mike Choi/Sonia Oback/Cory Petit (cover: Adi Granov, variant cover: David Finch/Matt Banning/Peter Steigerwald)

its a very bad time to be a mutant. Nimrod-class sentinels from the future have trapped the X-Men in San Francisco and have inflicted heavy damages. the 10 pages dedicated to the battle - with no dialogue or sound effects - evoke memories of Superman vs. Doomsday. Cyclops' only card is to send X-Force to that future and somehow shut down the Sentinels with Doug's power (uh, couldn't Magneto or Box do this? oh right, the latter is outside the dome). expect more casualties before this thing is over. and oh yeah, i expect to see that talk between Ororo and Cyke about X-Force.

X-Men: Blind Science (Marvel)
Simon Spurrier/Paul Davidson/Francis Portela/Chris Sotomayor/Rob Steen (cover: Gerald Parel)

goddamn, i like Dr. Nemesis! i want him to be more vocal and more sarcastic and more smart-assy when he's talking to Cyke and the inner council around Utopia (God knows, Hank lost his sense of humor during one of his evolution phases and Bobby isn't that funny). wait, there may not be an Utopia after Bastion is done with them.

obviously, they're NOT Thundercats.

Doomwar #4 (Marvel)
Jonathan Maberry/Scot Eaton/Andy Lanning/Robert Campanella/Jean-Francois Beaulieu/Cory Petit (cover: John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Dean White)
this title has taken a backseat to Siege and Second Coming but it really should have been finished even before Soldier Field got blown to bits. and just when you think all is lost, and everything is gloom and (pun intended) doom, this guy shows up:


Green Lantern #54 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Doug Mahnke/Christian Alamy/Tom Nguyen/Keith Champagne/Randy Mayor/Gabe Eltaeb/Nick J. Napolitano (cover: Shane Davis/Sandra Hope/Barbara Ciardo, variant cover: Alex Garner)

what do i like about this issue? hmmm. Atrocitus in the New York subway. Sinestro kind of being the grumpy uncle to Hal and Carol. the continuing mystery of who's collecting entities that used to reside in each ring color (?). and then the appearance of this guy:

Green Lantern Corps #48 (DC)
Tony Bedard/Ardian Syaf/Vicente Cifuentes/Randy Mayor/Gabe Eltaeb/Carrie Strachan/Steve Wands (cover: Rodolfo Migliari, variant cover: Pat Gleason/Mark Irwin/Mayor)

Ganthet continues his attention-hogging drama queen antics by renouncing his Guardianship and becoming a Green Lantern. what's next, he's gonna have his own reality TV show? anyway, some Alpha Lanterns are secretly massing and recruiting for something. what i want to know is: what's Guy been put up to by Ganthet that he claims will result in having his friendship with Hal to be over.

The Thanos Imperative: Ignition one shot (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Brad Walker/Andrew Hennessy/Wil Quintana/Joe Caramagna (cover: Aleksi Briclot)

and just in case somebody dozed off on the cosmic ongoings out there, this is a reminder that Thanos has come back! but he may not be the biggest threat at all - his name starts with the letter M and rhymes with "Barvell". oh ftaghn, oh ftaghn, oh ftaghn!! (wait, fark sounds better)

Power Girl #12 (DC)
Justin Gray/Jimmy Palmiotti/Amanda Conner/Paul Mounts/John J. Hill
need i say more? let's celebrate the last hurrah with the departure of Amanda Conner and the rest of the crew. any chance of having the Dodsons take over this title?