who will rule?

of course, the winner will be the one who has the hottie wife with flowing red hair, suckaz!!!

pick me ups

wandering through a bookstore chain the other day, i left it with these in hand. yes, apparently, no matter how hard i avoid the regular comicbook shops, i am not safe from plunking money for these babies. dammit.

seriously, how can you go wrong with these? World War Hulk was a far better slambang actionfest than Michael Bay's Transformers, and equally mindless. wait, not really. there was a point to all that fists flying. it was the perfect excuse to destroy New York for the nth time, and since the Hulk didn't get to pick a side in Civil War, hell, let's have everyone take on him.

then we have the much-hyped (and deservedly so), JLA/Avengers, the crossover that everyone was waiting for their whole childhood. if anything, its always a treat to ogle George Perez' pencils. always.

last but not least, i couldn't resist picking up the latest Iron Fist TPBs. these things come out much faster than DVD releases (and its no wonder the trend has been, for years now, writing a story arc that would hold up well as a collected edition). no matter how much the Revolution has been whipping Matt Fraction on his new gigs (maybe deservedly so), i always be grateful he and Ed Brubaker teamed up to bring back one of my old faves, Danny Rand, to respectability. and what else can i say about David Aja's art? wow.

hope these babies will be Hancocked in the next few Comic-Cons. hoooohaaaaaaaaah!!!

(NYCC '09 back to dead of winter? boooooooooo!)

screen capture, part 2

continuing our fantasy list of favorite comicbook storyline-turned-movies!

as noted in part 1, there are only two conditions - throw money at everything and write it the way the fans want it. theatres worldwide should be flooded at the amount of piss the geeks and nerds would be producing, once they watch these films.


8. ULTRON UNLIMITED
Kurt Busiek/George Perez/Stuart Immonen/Al Vey/Wade Von Grawbadger (Marvel)

before this movie would even be made, the Avengers need to be formed. assuming that's been the case, we can dive right in on the action - Ultron, a sentient robot based on the brain patterns of founding member Hank Pym, decides to replace the human race with the non-human high tech kind. possibly some flashbacks need to be written into the story to explain how Ultron was created and he went nuts. also, the Avengers have beefed up their roster with a few established heroes (the Black Panther, Vision, the Scarlet Witch and Wonder Man) and a couple of rookies in Firestar and Justice.

Ultron invades some Balkan country and completely wipes it off the map. this is Alderaan scale. the Avengers go right in and get their asses handed to them, until an injured Justice provides the key that saves the day. Michael Bay would work wonders with this.

casting call:

Captain America? helloooooooooo ... Brad Pitt?


Iron Man? another big helloooooooooooooooooooo?


Thor? John Cena is a Thunder God!


the fashionista Wasp? let's hear for regular geek Natalie Portman.

conflicted but spineless wife-beating genius Hank Pym? Thomas Haden Church. yeah, i know he's got 20 years on Portman, but they're actors, they can do this.

the synthozoid Vision is mostly CGI. but it will be based on Keanu Reeves, who plays brooding, mysterious, charismatic yet wooden characters. plus, his agent will find yet another way to land him this plum robotic role.

the Scarlet Witch, whom we all know would go crazy at some point, will be played by smoldering queen Lena Headey.

read my lips. the Witch is f****n' Matt Damon, the Wonder Man.


who else would we want as a Firestarter but Bryce Dallas Howard?


young telekinetic mutie Justice? ThunderJake Gyllenhooooooooooo!


the regal Black Panther? why, no less than Chiwetel Ejiofor.


good ol' butler Jarvis? Bob Hoskins


sicko and cowardly Williams brother Grim Reaper? make a toupee for Christopher Meloni!

geek goosebump moment: when the Avengers, battered yet unbowed, burst through a wall, and Thor snarls: "Ultron ... we would have words with thee!" Cena better nail this good.