Spidey and his Fantastic Friends

FF #2 "Doom Nation"
Amazing Spider-Man #659 "Fantastic Voyage, Part 1 of 2"

and here i thought these two were linked story-wise; turns out its not. i totally enjoyed both anyway.

right after the drafting of now-accomplished nerd Spider-Man as Johnny's replacement, Jonathan Hickman surprised me by bringing Doom into the equation. well, not really because this was hinted back in earlier issues. i just thought he was going to join the Future Foundation as a tenuous member, a la Magneto in the current X-Men. maybe he still is, because he's not one to miss an opportunity to tout his intelligence (at least by the end of this issue). however, Reed should be more worried about Valeria (whom Doom named, in her revised origin), who seems to be getting or causing more trouble than Franklin when he was her age. she's probably too smart for her own good.

even as distracted as Reed can be, i don't think he would easily forget that was how Tony Stark came back to his proper senses in the recent Siege. oh well.

so, dumb-as-a-rock Doom ostensibly made a deal with Valeria to help him recover from his brain damage and be back to being the scumbag genius that he is, and they manage to do so, by copying some files from Doom ward Kristoff's own noggin. interestingly, Reed makes the moral if difficult decision to go along with it, even when given the chance to get rid of his longtime arch-enemy permanently. and what's the price Valeria demands? for Doom to defeat her dad. uhhh, what?

super-nerd Parker, also not a fan of Doom, at least is honest about cracking jokes regardless.

there's more to this than meets the eye, though. the next issue's preview show the return of the well-meaning yet blinded Reeds, and maybe that's what Doom needs (or Valeria wants Doom) to beat.

over in Spidey's own book, the foursome take a journey to an island they had visited early in their original incarnation, where Ben played Blackbeard the Pirate and get some gems back to a tiger-stroking Doom (heh) who had Sue as a hostage. anyway, some radioactive anomaly is emanating from this island and geeks just need to investigate radioactive anomalies.

funnily, with the attack-happy locals exercising their fear of strangers, its the FF's reputation that saves them (or is it the other way around). Dan Slott and Fred Van Lente continue their knack for snappy hilarious patter, which makes me wonder why they didn't get them to write Spider-Man a loooong time ago.

ending up fighting zombie pirates (eh?), the fun gets doubled as Benjie reprises his award-winning role, courtesy of Mr. Parker's quick thinking.

just like over in Avengers, we see that our heroes end up cleaning after old foes (think Spidey's rogues gallery ... his best baddies, minus the Goblin of course). with the promise of more ass-kicking, errr ... booty-kicking next issue, i can't wait!

FF story: A-  art: A-
ASM story: A+ art: A

why is Fantomex swinging from a web and hanging with the F3?

because that's not Fantomex, idiot. that's your friendly neighbor Spider-Man (who went from zero groups to two majors - next up, X-Men and Guardians of the Galaxy). and Jonathan Hickman's about to wow us even more (like he hasn't already with S.H.I.E.L.D.)

bring on Herbie! not.

bye, Johnny. see you next year.

brother grimm

drive-by readings

Fantastic Four #584 (Marvel) "Three Part Two: Congratulations, Mr. Grimm. You're Handsome Again!" Jonathan Hickman Steve Epting Paul Mounts Rus Wooton Alan Davis/Mark Farmer/Javier Rodriguez (cover)

what we learned: this title has been gathering steam and now its clicking on all cylinders, with Jonathan Hickman bringing all the previously-introduced elements slowly to bear. Sue takes charge to be an ambasadress for the Atlantean tribes (Angelina Jolie!), and Reed may be in trouble with the Surfer. for the best part, he also finds a way to revive the 'can we make Ben Grimm human again' record and get away with it, with him and Johnny painting the town red (hey, Stan!), tangling with a retooled Yancy Street Gang (that was a hoot), and having a tender moment with Alicia (aaaawwwww).
oh shit moment: uh ... Galactus?
what's next: always expect the Fantastic. Hickman brings the wow every month. someone also draw up divorce papers for the Richards couple.

hey, me too!

the weekly hits

Brightest Day #5 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Peter Tomasi/Ivan Reis/Ardian Syaf/Joe Prado/Vicente Cifuentes/Peter Steigerwald/Rob Clark Jr (covers: David Finch/Scott Williams/Steigerwald, Reis/Chuck Pires)
what we learned: Katar and Shiera fight the Thundercats. and some winged creatures. also, Hank Hall is rapidly supplanting Guy Gardner's as the DCU's #1 douche. and Aquaman finally does something about the Gulf Coast oil spill. kinda. contrary to certain reports.
oh shit moment: what? Mera has a backstory?? get out!!
what's next: what's really going on in Hawkworld? will Aquaman be a swinging single soon?

oh snap! well, that certainly changes things ...

Invincible Iron Man Annual #1 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Carmine Giandomenico/Matt Wilson/Joe Caramagna (cover: Salvador Larroca)
what we learned: acclaimed Asian film director Jun Shan (Ang Lee, is that you?) gets kidnapped by the Mandarin to film his life story. who knows if this is will be his new origin, as i like the Knaufs' story of his resurrection much better. by the way, nice nod to your Iron Fist run, Mr. Fraction.
oh shit moment: Jun Shan thinks he can escape with his zombie wife, but alas, that is not the case.
what's next: of course he's coming back in the pages of Iron Man. what i'd like to see is how to incorporate him in the Iron Man movies, beyond the Ten Rings terrorist organization. Prometheus CEO, anyone?

and Robert Downey Jr. nails the part ... again!

X-Force #28 (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/Mike Choi/Sonia Oback/Joe Caramagna (cover: Adi Granov)
what we learned: X-Force returns from the future, thanks to the magic of Cable's techno-organic virus, now given free rein. left to his own devices, Bastion goes mano-a-mano with Hope (who's displaying all the powers of existing mutants, but apparently Bastion thinks its new and unclassified). well, ain't you the smart one.
oh shit moment: the Cable ... is broken. also, the Golden Gate bridge.
what's next: is Bastion dead? will Hope bitch slap Cyclops, leading to a catfight between her and Emma? place your bets!

well, its about goddamn time ... oh wait, too many people have already died. so, no.

Fantastic Four Annual #32 (Marvel)
Joe Ahearne/Bryan Hitch/Andrew Currie/Paul Mounts/Rain Beredo/Rus Wooton/Chris Eliopoulos
what we learned: heeeeeere's Johnny! and heeeeee's a daddy! wonder why it took that long. Joe Ahearne takes his Dr. Who experience and translates into a Fantastic Voyage for our heroes. turns out the Psycho-Woman (wait, that's her name and not another of Johnny's one night stands) engineered the whole thing so she can create an army of cosmic warriors based on Johnny's tissues. why can't Reed just build Johnny his own artificial Friday Night Zone?
oh shit moment: the egg donor, Amy, jumps into the timestream. presumably to stop what was going to happen, but if Reed can't say for sure, how do we really know?
what's next: have any of y'all seen Jonathan Storm Jr? blond, blue eyes, about this height?

yes. especially David Lee Roth.

Shadowland #1 (Marvel)
Andy Diggle/Billy Tan/Matt Banning/Christina Strain/Guru EFx/Joe Caramagna (cover: John Cassaday/Laura Martin)
who wants to beat up Bullseye? you, Daredevil? step right up! wait, what are you doing with that sai? no, you can't -noooooooooooooo! oh crap.

Steve Rogers: Super-Soldier #1 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Dale Eaglesham/Andy Troy/Joe Caramagna (cover: Carlos Pacheco/Tim Townsend/Frank D'Armata)
what we learned: his name is Rogers. Steve Rogers. MGM may put the Bond franchise on hold, but here's a worthy alternative. Rogers, suddenly adjusting to the new world, takes on multitasking to a whole new level as S.H.I.E.L.D. boss, Avengers commander, leader of his own Secret Avengers, and going on his own private missions. how does he do it? how does he sleep? anyhoo, Prof. Erskine's grandson has cracked the Super Soldier formula and he's selling it to the highest bidder. only it turns out he may not be aware of the latter fact.
oh shit moment: was Steve Rogers really as thin as DJ Qualls back then?
what's next: sleep is overrated.

no, Steve, that would be so cliché.

Scarlet #1 (Marvel/Icon)
Brian Michael Bendis/Alex Maleev/Chris Eliopoulos (variant covers: David LaFuente/Mike Deodato)
what we learned: there is no escape from Bendis (well there is, if you stop following any of his work). Scarlet is the creator-owned collaboration from these Daredevil maestros, and it already reeks of aiming for Hollywood. not to say that its not good, but let's have a fully-hashed storyline before we give it the Kick-Ass treatment, yeah?
oh shit moment: when you have to stand up for your rights and take it to the law because you know what's right.
what's next: how did a slacker become an assassin? there's hope for us!

remind me not to go biking in Portland.

The Boys #44 (Dynamite)
Garth Ennis/Russ Braun/Tony Aviña/Simon Bowland (cover: Darick Robertson)
what we learned: religion and truth and justice don't really mix. Hughie and the Butcher make up. kinda.
oh shit moment: The Homelander. John Travolta. Staying Alive. Ha-ha-ha-ha ... stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive. oh, and Hughie learns the truth.
what's next: ever attended a religious rally?

sounds like 2006's Civil War.

Batman & Robin #13 (DC)
Grant Morrison/Frazer Irving/Pat Brosseau
what we learned: am glad Grant Morrison is still having fun with this title (coupled with the Return of Bruce Wayne). Oberon Sexton, unmasked as the Joker, has some agenda not yet in play, as events from the beginning of this series still have impact. also, Batman has his own subway station that is much better than the average New York MTA deathtrap.
oh shit moment: how many you want? Thomas Wayne shooting Batman, Robin laying serious whupass on the Joker, or the return of Pyg?
what's next: can we keep Frazer Irving on this book?

"and that's for Jason Todd! just kidding."

Secret Six #23 (DC)
John Ostrander/RB Silva/Alexandre Palamaro/Jason Wright/Travis Lanham (cover: Daniel Luvisi)
what we learned: an earlier story patterned after The Most Dangerous Game and Battle Royale. hey, it was about time we put the Six through their paces. yeah, well, Catman can still smile here.
oh shit moment: actually, that part is the realization where this thing wasn't a challenge for the Six. at all. i thought it would have been a two-parter or something. whatever.
what's next: we want angry Catman!

how Nero ended up after he burned Rome down.

Scalped #39 (DC/Vertigo)
Jason Aaron/RM Guera/Giulia Brusco/Steve Wands (cover: Jock)
what we learned: except for a few issues, this series is always intensely angry. with a new story arc "Unwanted", Aaron delves into parenthood and the realities and responsibilities of assuming that state, this time from the point of view of Carol Ellroy. turns out she was unwanted by her mother, and now pregnant (again) as well, the apple don't fall far from the tree. plus, RM Guera is up there with the detailed artwork (especially grubby trashed rooms) with George and Phil.
oh shit moment: Dashiell Bad Horse vs Shunka. no contest. also, Dashiell's dad shows up.
what's next: we want a Bad Horse/Shunka rematch!

Dashiell Bad Horse would like to change his name to Easily-Beaten-By-A-Sissy.

Rawhide Kid: The Sensational Seven #2 (Marvel)
Ron Zimmerman/Howard Chaykin/Edgar Delgado/Jeff Eckleberry (cover: Dave Johnson)
what we learned: with a lot of Western nods (Deadwood, the Lone Ranger) and witty dialogue, this book has me in stitches. the fab Rawhide Kid assembles his seven (i didn't realize Lobo was the seventh) and goes to stop the Hanging of the Earps.
oh shit moment: Seth Bullock. a literate Red Wolf. Two-Gun Kid in his pre-Avengers/Kang days.
what's next: man, i gotta stop playing Borderlands, and get on with Red Dead Redemption.

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

the weekly hits

Sea Bear & Grizzly Shark (Image)
Ryan Ottley/Jason Howard/Cliff Rathburn
what we learned: a Sea Bear. a Grizzly Shark. eating people anywhere. that's all you need to know.
oh shit moment: just imagine any moment you could be doing your own thing, then suddenly you're wondering why your head is at ground level and the rest of your body's just ... gone.
what's next: really? you want this to be an ongoing? well ....


Batman: Streets of Gotham #13 (DC)
Paul Dini/Dustin Nguyen/Derek Fridolfs/John Kalisz/Sal Cipriano
what we learned: the Carpenter turns the tables on the Director just in time for Batman to clean up. despite the cheesy dialogue because of the nature of the story, its entertaining. by the way, how does everyone manage to show up at the right time for the board meetings to remind Thomas Eliott of his place?
oh shit moment: nothing much to shit your pants about. although Jenna Duffy has been warned off by Bats, she can't resist the lure of the job of assembling for dangerous people (which means that hauling supercriminals off to jail never works).
what's next: what is Hush up to?


Hulk #23 (Marvel)
Jeph Loeb/Ed McGuiness/Mark Farmer/Morry Hollowell/Richard Starkings/Herb Trimpe/Dave McCaig/Tim Sale/Dave Stewart/Dale Keown/Sal Buscema/Brad Anderson/Ian Churchill/Edgar Delgado/Leinil Yu/Gerry Alanguilan/Marte Gracia/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Emily Warren/Dean White/Jason Keith/Mike Deodato/Rain Beredo (variant cover: Adam Kubert/Laura Martin)
man, i'm tired typing all those credits, but its the only way to give those nods as Blogger's 200 character limit for tags (booooo!) kinda put a damper on the party, and it was a rocking one.

Green Arrow #1 (DC)
J.T. Krul/Diogenes Neves/Vicente Cifuentes/Ulises Arreola/Rob Leigh (covers: Mauro Cascioli, Ethan Van Sciver/Hi-Fi)
what we learned: despite him being kicked out of Star City, Ollie Queen can't help himself and still hangs around. and conveniently a "magical" forest has sprung around the city, giving him cachet to play a man in tights. oh, someone offed his best friend Nunocerda. now Ollie has to throw away his special Nunocerda arrow.
oh shit moment: uh, Ollie stealing food from the rich to give to the poor? yeah. or his stepmom takes his company back.
what's next: team up with his pal Hal and beat up some rent-a-soldiers.

"well ... uh ... actually this is my BDSM outfit. heh."

X-Men Legacy #237 (Marvel)
Mike Carey/Greg Land/Jay Leisten/Justin Ponsor/Cory Petit (cover: Adi Granov)
what we learned: aren't you glad they resurrected Doug Ramsey? and they say diplomatic and linguistic skills are useless in battle. suspiciously, Colossus' broken arm is not shown at all.
oh shit moment: two for me: Magneto bleeding for the X-Men once again in a very long time, and Hope having the balls to threaten the de facto leader of an endangered species. really.
what's next: bring on Bastion!!! (i wonder if Scott Lobdell or Pascual Ferry is reading this crossover?)

see, if only Jean was that frisky ...

Fantastic Four #580 (Marvel)
Jonathan Hickman/Neil Edwards/Andrew Currie/Paul Mounts/Rus Wooton (cover: Alan Davis/Mark Farmer/Javier Rodriguez)
what we learned: Toys R Us is actually a front for Arcade (no longer a premiere X-villain) and the Impossible Man is an NYC gadabout with a semblance of social responsibility (you mean to say no one mistakes him for a Skrull?). much more interesting is Reed's Future Foundation, where a disparate young cast of characters is mentored by Mr. Fantastic to generate ideas for the betterment of mankind. no, not the wrestler.
oh shit moment: the Future Foundation's first project: to cure Ben Grimm! ok, not a total cure, but its a start. the Thing's inability to become human and the subsequent frustration of trying to be normal is a Marvel tradition. Jonathan Hickman, just like Ed Brubaker and that Bucky thing before him, is poised to upend the apple cart.
what's next: don't call him Rocky no more! no, seriously, please let this not be a dead end. Ben needs this as much as we fans do.


Avengers #2 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Dean White/Cory Petit
to get to the future, they need a binoculars. then a ride. so they ask Space Ghost Penis to help. then (less than) Wonder Man shows up angry, disappears. then some Horsemen show up, also angry. next issue, they fight.

Secret Warriors #17 (Marvel)
Jonathan Hickman/Alessandro Vitti/Imaginary Friends Studio/Dave Lanphear (cover: Jim Cheung/Mark Morales/Justin Ponsor)
what we learned: smelling blood in the water, Nick Fury unleashes all his teams on the warring Hydra and Leviathan. the narrative though is post-event, as Dum Dum and Jasper Sitwell are grilled in a secret meeting convened by the UN Security Council. oh, and there's a party and Steve Rogers feels like a 20 year old man again.
oh shit moment: Howling Commandos silenced forevermore?
what's next: Howling Commandos silenced forevermore?


Thunderbolts #145 (Marvel)
Jeff Parker/Kev Walker/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne
i commend Luke Cage for taking the task of running Marvel's rehab program and facing threats with a bunch of guys who might just stab him in the back, front, side or wherever they please. nanites or no nanites, something bad's gonna happen.

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne (Marvel)
Grant Morrison/Yanick Paquette/Michel Lacombe/Nathan Fairbairn/Jared Fletcher (covers: Andy Kubert/Yanick Paquette)
what we learned: some people might scoff at at the whole Final Crisis/Batman RIP thing as poorly-conceived non-permanent-event ripoff. that may be so, but it allowed us to have Batman & Robin and the Return of Bruce Wayne. in his trek back from the past, Bruce gets involved with Blackbeard the Pirate and upholds his legacy as the Man of Bats in the most amazing way.
oh shit moment: a dazed Bruce takes the cape and takes on the buccaneers with the Bat People. whooooooooo!
what's next: Jonah Hex! Cowboy Batman! yeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaawww!


Wolverine: Weapon X #14 (Marvel)
Jason Aaron/Ron Garney/Jason Keith/Matt Milla/Cory Petit (cover: Garney/Morry Hollowell)
what we learned: this Deathlok is a murderer revived as a killing machine (what's new?). but there's a conscience there somehow.
oh shit moment: the future human resistance decides to go after the civilian identities of the Deathloks in the past - while they're still kids.
what's next: Peace, 'Lok!!


Joker's Asylum: Killer Croc (DC)
Mike Raicht/David Yardin/Cliff Richards/Rodney Ramos/Jose Villarubia/Patrick Brosseau (cover: Francesco Mattina)
what we learned: despite the fear you have for Killer Croc as he chased you down the sewer tunnels of Arkham Asylum, there are bigger and viler beasts among men that you need to be more afraid of. and oh, did Francesco Mattina switch to DC already?
oh shit moment: we knew were it was going but the betrayal was painful nonetheless.
what's next: i think i need to check out the other Joker's Asylum titles i missed.


Power Girl #13 (DC)
Judd Winick/Sami Basri/Sunny Gho/John J. Hill
i know y'all miss Amanda Conner, but you should give this Basri guy a chance. and a serious story for a change.

Green Lantern Corps #49 (DC)
Tony Bedard/Ardian Syaf/Vicente Cifuentes/Randy Mayor/Gabe Eltaeb/Steve Wands (cover: Syaf/Cifuentes/Ulises Arreola, variant: Patrick Gleason/John Dell/Mayor)
what we learned: the rebellious Alpha Lanterns' recruitment drive is in full swing and it may have added Jon Stewart. opps, i meant John Stewart. dumb keyboard.
oh shit moment: who's behind all this nonsense? no, not Tony Bedard! its the i-wanna-die-but-i-cant Cyborg Superman! paging Dr. Kevorkian!
what's next: paging Dr. Kevorkian!

Reed Richards is a fraud!

didn't you defeat Galactus??

and now you prefer clean-up duty rather than taking on a Celestial?


-----
X-Factor Forever #3

snaps: The Sentry - Fallen Sun

... where we find our heroes visiting the grave of the Sentry (hey, he died just a few hours ago!), and reminiscing about the old days, adventures that make us go "huh, when did that happen?" then it dawned on us: the Sentry made us all forget about those times!! just like they do in Men in Black!! because, uh, he's such a heroic figure and all! cool!! uh, where am i again?

Robert's hair is so nice and soft, everyone wants to touch it.



that's dog-speak for "hey, did i bite off your arm?"



ok, what the hell is Daredevil doing here? and does Emma Frost need to attend in her elegant ho costume?



even in fictional character deaths, we get rick-rolled.



huh? how did Rogue become a bearded man? oh, that's Dr. Strange!?! geez, Tom Raney!



the portrait of an artist taking a dump



no. way. was this before or after Remy? so could there be a little Void-ish Marie Reynolds running around somewhere?

snaps: Fantastic Four #576

... where we meet the representatives of water, whereas last week we met the denizens of the deep earth. waaaaaaaaait a minute, i see where you're going here, Jon Hickman! so you are telling me, that the three races of old as created by those smug Celestials were not Eternals, Deviants and humans? geddouddaheah!!

Johnny Storm ... loves the winter.


yes, yes ... you forgot making blockbuster movies!!!


Sue confessing to having an affair with a student, in front of students.


this is the Man vs. Wild episode we weren't supposed to see.


male chauvinist pigs all over the world suddenly collapsed from simultaneous heart attacks.

snaps: Fantastic Four #575

... where the Mole Man enlists our fearless foursome to help him ... am not really sure what for. there's this underground city that used to be inhabited by the High Evolutionary, and now it's rising up, and whoever stays within its limits becomes super intelligent. so it rises up, the US is in an uproar, and Ben Grimm may just, just maybe, become at par with Reed Richards in the smarts department.

and the cover of course, has no connection whatsoever with the story inside.


oh my, Princess Leia ... you look different.


get out!! he's a geneticist?? i thought he built a chain of hotels!


umm ... weren't you in New York ... where there's no fault line? (apparently there is.)


the best way to beat Galactus as always, is to starve him.


what are the chances that devolved children living miles beneath the earth's surface, speak English?


shut up, Steve Jobs!! Reed Richards had the HomePad even before your iPad was launched!!

snaps: Black Panther #12

... where Wakandan nationalists and Dr. Doom reveal their hand(s). and they are dirty! and the real villain of Civil War is in the mix. why is this guy not dead yet? we can blame two guys - Tony Stark for not doing his job as Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Wolverine, for only being useful in killing non-powered individuals. back to Wakanda, T'Challa (as usual) risks every single thing (including Ororo) to bait his enemies. current Black Panther Shuri wants to take credit too for the smart play. ahh, girls.

no way!! really?? oh, that's right, you're not devious like Tony Stark. or T'Challa.


dude - you can get two of those in Miami Beach.


but ... but current events ARE on Twitter and Facebook!


no joke ... they see a Mandroid and they start laughing. no respect.


Porcupine? they send the Porcupine??