just in time for the elections!

somewhere in Alaska, and in the Tea Party headquarters, heads just exploded.

crushing blow

drive-by readings

The Thanos Imperative #4 (Marvel) Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning Miguel Sepulveda Jay David Ramos/Wil Quintana Joe Caramagna Aleksi Briclot (cover)

what we learned: the not-so-secret Six (Nova, Quasar, Gladiator, Silver Surfer, Ronan and Beta Ray Bill),attack the Cancerverse HQ and they get their licks in. however, Lord Mar-Vell (the fake) is more than a match for any of them. and in one of the quickest turnarounds in the Marvel U, Thanos reintegrates himself (awwwwww - stop whining! this is the Universe of Life!), much to Star-Lord's relief, but returns the favor to Drax.
oh shit moment: Lord Mar-Vell leaves a bomb. sneaky punk. oh yeah, and a version of the Vision gets ripped in half again. the Android Anti-Defamation League is picketing the Marvel offices.
what's next: what? a universe without a smart cranky Destroyer? perish the thought! pun intended!


cosmic deadpan trash talk. now there's a Marvel Studios movie.

the brave and the bald

drive-by readings

Astonishing X-Men #35 (Marvel) Warren Ellis Phil Jimenez Andy Lanning Frank D'Armata Joe Caramagna

what we learned: we finally meet Kaga, who has an axe to grind against beautiful and handsome mutants. i would too, if i weren't handsome.
oh shit moment: Cyclops almost becomes Wolverine but still shows his goody side. Wolverine is still Wolverine, and introduces his left fist to Kaga.
what's next: keep this creative team rolling, Joe Quesada. and keep the delays to a minimum please.


you're complaining?? i can't even get a hundred readers for this blog!

teething

drive-by readings

Ultimate Avengers #3 (Marvel) "Blade Versus The Avengers, Part One of Six" Mark Millar Steve Dillon Andy Lanning Matt Hollingsworth Cory Petit Leinil Francis Yu/Marte Gracia (cover) Greg Land/Justin Ponsor (variant cover)

what we learned: not sure why this title is still rolling. the first incarnation of the Ultimates were fantastic, and had great resonance with the 616 Universe because they were dark mirrors of the real deal. now its just like scraping the bottom of the barrel. its probably the trendy vampire thing (i'm still chewing on X-Men #1-2) - now they have the undead biting on heroes and the black ops Avengers are called in, because Stick, the lameass Daredevil-who's-not-Matt-Murdock ("Ray Connor"? really?), and possibly the Hulk have all fallen in with the bloodsuckers. basically, its just a Blade comic crossed with the Daredevil and Elektra movies sprinkled with some Kick Ass. Steve Dillon makes it bearable. just.
oh shit moment: just when we're getting sympathetic with Connor, the dork gets bitten. now we just hate the kid.
what's next: is Cassidy gonna show up?


Blade doesn't give head, he takes them.

do androids dream of eternal sleep

drive-by readings

The Thanos Imperative #3 (Marvel) Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning Miguel Sepulveda Jay David Ramos Joe Caramagna Aleksi Briclot (cover)

what we learned: with a nice nod to that "Vision taking over the world" storyline back when, several things happen here including the revelation that the dying Mar-Vell may have caused this whole thing, and that the Cancerverse may have a weakness that Nova has deemed it necessary to exploit. oh, and he finally has balls.
oh shit moment: never leave a Destroyer to his own devices. and beside a Mad Titan.
what's next: wanna watch a necropsy? do you have an avatar of death available?


eeeennnd ... scene. that's a wrap for Expendables 2!

heeeeeeeeeeeee's back!!!

and its a good thing all of these is separate from the nonsense down terra firma. (via Daily Pop)

snaps: Doomwar #1

... where we see a much sensible powerplay unfold as compared to invading a mythical kingdom over Oklahoma. Doomwar plays second banana to Siege, but Dr. Doom takes a backseat to no one, even as he's been cast out of Norman Osborn's Cabal. Doom's messing with the Asgardians was part of Loki's machinations, as much as Siege is. failing that (and he had these things in play much much earlier), Doom concentrates on taking the vibranium from Wakanda, which despite a highly tech-savvy country is one of the most unstable as all Black Panther stories (go ahead, check 'em) have T'Challa dealing with coup d'etats and invasions in one form or another. oh, and right now, he's gone to ask the X-Men for help to rescue his bride and take his homeland back.

what do you mean, "mutant peoples"??


oh, oh! you wanna play it that way, Mister High and Mighty Cause He Got Hissown Island?


rumor has it that Latveria used to be a Confederate state ...


why does it look like they're headed for the beach? and it looks like Logan's gonna scoooooooore!


oooohhhh Shuri! your father, Tom Cruise, won't like that!

snaps: Realm of Kings: Inhumans #3

... where a secret villain is revealed. really, nobody saw that coming light years away? also, it looks like Crystal+Ronan just may not just be a publicity stunt.

dude, its more, like, a whole barrel. word.


ok, stop teasing us. that's a Skrull. (actually no, its just an afterimage).


yes, drop him a line at gorgon@inhumans.hala, gorgeous.gorgon on Facebook, and @stomper on Twitter.


Pietro is gonna watch this on YouTube and he is soooooooo gonna be pissed.


does this mean Magneto is going to follow?

eyes wide shut

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X-Men Origins: Cyclops one shot (Marvel) "Eyes Wide" Stuart Moore Jesse Delperdang Andy Lanning Matt Hollingsworth Rob Steen Adi Granov (cover)

we've seen this origin tale many times before, and there isn't much difference now, save that its been tailored for a new generation (thank God they didn't include that iffy part in that Wolverine movie ... but who knows). Cyclops has always been cast as this inspiring yet robotic leader spouting the Xavier credo of mutants-must-coexist-with-humans, but at least in the last decade, there has been this shift towards making him a much more layered individual and not simply a yes-man to his father figures. by having him taken over by Apocalypse, dealing with his demons, having a psychic affair with Emma Frost, and the eventual killing off of Jean Grey, Scott Summers finally shed the doubts nagging him as to what he's really capable of. and with the stepping down of Charles Xavier and Scott's eventual ascent to running the school and uniting the remaining mutants and having their own island, the transformation was complete.

this origin story somewhat ties in to the present because it already shows Scott not making decisions based on what Xavier says all the time. he has his own mind, whether in battling Magneto or making the long-term decision to lead the X-Men in Xavier's stead. it must have been rankling to the professor to have his star student brush him off as he finds his own path, not as a petulant child, but as a confident adult. Mike Carey, Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction have delineated this transition as a very interesting angle in recent years.

i don't remember much of Jesse Delperdang's work save his stint inking Andy Kubert in X-Men and Ka-Zar, but he does a good job here, somewhat veering from Kirby/Ladronn-ish to Kevin Nowlan.

and now for some snaps!

"yes, mistuh Xavier sir, you want me to remove my visor to show you?"


by the way, Scott, spoke to Alex lately?


not being able to shoot Magneto with his eye beams, Scott decides beat him to death with his mask/visor.

snaps: Astonishing X-Men #33

... where the team gets a little bit closer to the dude named Kaga who read a bunch of X-comics and crossovers in the '90s, found that mutants were a bad thing, and proceeded to use genetics and tech-wizardry to kill our heroes. he even uses the head of Paradigm, a poor man's Douglock, to interface with his techno-organic monstrosities, and as a taunting object. too bad, the two characters who can easily fix this shit - Kitty Pryde and Jesse Aaronson - are not in the picture. or are they?

1) and Scott said, 'let there be light' and there was ...


2) with Jubilee's impending return, i sense a catfight soon for the right to be Logan's Spunky, Wisecracking & Cute Asian Sidekick.


3) and morning, noon and night, i'll give ya ... head!


4) ok ... Cat Beast vs Dog Beast ... who ya got????



5) you and me both, Cyke!!!

snaps: Realm of Kings #1

... where a hole in our universe leads to our ass.

1) Dr. Gruenwald can't come to the phone right now. he has left the building. or he's just relaxing amongst the pages of the classic '80s Squadron Supreme TPB.


2) Wendell Vaughn, relationship coach.


3) apparently, the Vision has concealed something else rather poorly.


4) witness ... the heart transplant technique of the future!


5) gaze upon the Abyss that is the Thunder God's face. (and while you're at it, a No-Prize to tell me what "FTAGHN" means)


6) what did i miss? how does this ersatz Quasar know about Dr. Gruenwald? (who contrary to what was stated above, has not left the building)

weird science

drive-by readings

Astonishing X-Men #32 (Marvel) "Exogenetic, Part 2" Warren Ellis Phil Jimenez Andy Lanning Frank D'Armata Joe Caramagna

now we're talking. Phil Jimenez knocks this one out of the park, depicting the X-Men saving downtown San Francisco from a bio-engineered Sentinel - and the Brood, of all things. favorite moments: Emma getting thrown thru a cable car, Cyke punching a hole through the Sentinel's hand, Wolverine cutting a sleazoid to ribbons, and oh yeah, Hank referring to Abby as his "little fruitbat". that's a sign they're gonna make it for the long haul. they even have a romp in the backseat. nice moves, McCoy.

Abby reveals to them that X-haters have seemingly found a way to take X-Men research and use it to create stuff to kill them. but what does this have to do with the Brood? also what does it have to do with that chunk of rock in space that she was investigating last issue? Warren Ellis allows the questions to build. at least its something my brain can wrap its feeble matter around.

down to earth

drive-by readings

Astonishing X-Men #31 (Marvel) "Exogenetic, Part 1" Warren Ellis Phil Jimenez Andy Lanning Frank D'Armata Joe Caramagna Travis Charest/Justin Ponsor (variant cover)

Abby Brand, current Hank McCoy flame, leads a S.W.O.R.D. contingent in some kind of black ops mission, then evacuates as the Brood throws their op to shit and she's forced to crash land on Earth. S.W.O.R.D./US Space Command has no way to protect those West Coast bums from a fiery spaceship crash, so who they gonna call? The! X-Men!

apparently, the events here occur before the Osborn/X-Men spat, as they are still in the Marin Headlands. what else do we glean from this sequence of events?

- in such emergencies the US Space Command does not call the Avengers or Norman Osborn himself, they call the X-Men.
- apparently, Abby also managed to nudge her spacecraft enough to crash where friends are so they can rescue her (brilliant!!)
- despite the loss of Prof. X's money and Sh'iar tech, the X-Men still get neat toys (the X2, a Blackbird for a new generation, straight from "the most brilliant and unhinged scientific minds in Japan" - oh you mean those who cook up those hentai shit?)
- Cyclops stages the rescue operation because "no one else has a prayer". uh, doesn't S.W.O.R.D. work with H.A.M.M.E.R.? did they forget they have the Sentry? (apparently, he's off spacing out again and dreaming about a thousand exploding suns. or was that a million? oh look, dandelions!)
- Emma smugly teeps (yes, thank you, DnA!) Abby that "a day without doing something stupid isn't worth getting out of bed for." OH!! so that's the motivation of those Jackass dudes!!!
- is Storm divorced from T'Challa? why is she hanging around with her buddies, getting into pissing contests with Emma, whom even Hank wants to piss on? (whooaaa. bestiality. golden showers. slow down, buddy.)

exciting rescue comes to an end at Fisherman's Wharf, where they all have clam chowder thereafter. oh, and a supposed dead student reappears and morphs into some kind of organic zombie sentinel. wait, is this Necrosha yet?

this title has gone weird on me since Joss Whedon left (well, what can I do, its the one and only Warren Ellis!). maybe i just miss the clean art of John Cassaday. Phil Jimenez ain't no slouch, but look who's doing variant covers! its the guy who left me at the altar that was WildC.A.T.S. vol. 2. welcome back, Travis - do you still have it in you??

girls, girls, girls!

drive-by readings

The Amazing Spider-Man #606 (Marvel) "Long-Term Arrangement" Joe Kelly Mike McKone Andy Lanning Chris Chuckry Joe Caramagna J. Scott Campbell/Edgar Delgado

so much for the Chameleon. over the past few issues, the Spidey Brain Trust thought it best to up the ante in the game of "how much more can we make a lovable loser out of Peter Parker" by bringing back Mary Jane, right smack in the middle of Peter having platonic-bordering-on-something friendships with like half the female cast (the other half is Aunt May, and that's off-limits). and now they throw Felicia Hardy into the mix. last thing i saw of Spidey and Black Cat being a couple was her being shot up and there's him carrying her to the hospital (ah, nostalgia - anybody remember what issue in the '80s that was?). its okay that the Spidey Brain Trust provides overall direction, but the rotating cast of writers and artists (since Brand New Day) kinda makes the whole thing a bit disjointed, y'know?

and wow, if Peter can do splits like that ... look out, Olympics!

i just can wait to be king

drive-by readings

War of Kings: Who Will Rule? one shot (Marvel) Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Paul Pelletier Andrew Hennessy Guru eFX Joe Caramagna Brandon Peterson (cover)

the one thing i really liked about War of Kings is that it finally elevated Gladiator (no, not Russell Crowe) from a two-dimensional muscle-bound powerhouse into a fleshed-out ethical soldier with leadership potential. actually, DnA, in taking reins of Marvel's cosmic crossovers/space operas since 2006's Annihilation (with Keith Giffen), have breathed new life into C-list characters and moved them up the ladder (ex. Nova, Ronan, Super-Skrull, Rocket Raccoon, Star Lord - even Maximus became more than a cardboard cutout insane villain) or at least made them readable again. with the seeming deaths of Black Bolt and former Shi'ar Majestor Vulcan, Gladiator (true name: Kallark ... you know, like that guy from Kansas via Krypton) tries to hold the fragile Shi'ar Imperium together and at the same time, bury his former Majestrix Lilandra, a casualty of the War of Kings (did somebody tell Xavier yet?). he still thinks himself as a soldier, and prefers to have someone else take the reins of the Empire, whether its someone within the Shi'ar heirarchy or a regent from presumably their new rulers, the Kree/Inhumans. Crystal feels Medusa will appoint her, and she herself is reluctant to take the position. in the end, Gladiator doesn't have a choice: he's the best suited individual at this point for the job. unfortunately, its what suits the Fraternity of Raptors - and the Magus (the now-i'm-crazy-again Adam Warlock). up next: Realm of Kings.

drive-by readings: Guardians of the Galaxy #17

Guardians of the Galaxy #17 (Marvel) "Adam Magus" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Brad Walker Victor Olazaba Scott Hanna Jay David Ramos Joe Caramagna Daniel Acuna (cover)

just after the War of Kings, half of the Guardians need to take care of the aftershocks of Black Bolt's suicide bomb gambit. simply put, the resulting explosion opens a hole in the fabric of space and its widening every second. Rocket Raccoon takes his half of the team to lay the law down on the surviving Inhumans, but some Japanese tentacle shit starts pulling Attilan inside, forcing them to deal with that emergency. solving that, there's the matter of that hole. Warlock makes a last ditch attempt to hook this timestream onto another unused one (don't ask), but at what cost? ahh, the initial tally so far is a skewered Phylla-Vell (who it turns out, had her own agenda), a Gamora with potentially a snapped neck, and the terrifying Alice Cooper impersonator below:


Warlock, by grafting the current timeline to another (mentioned as one he's familiar with), he sacrifices himself as that other timeline is the one where he went nutso. my head hurts. please consult with Reed Richards, as i am sure he and his ilk would find a solution to this. not. nothing's ever easy for this team and so it should be.

by the way, one thing i enjoy with the whole Guardians revival is the comedy part, mostly revolving around Rocket Raccoon and his wisecracking. also, DnA cleverly explains why Groot keeps saying "I am Groot!" and it took the who-knows-when-he's-sane Maximus to make us understand. holy crap, that made sense.

drive-by readings: War of Kings #6

War of Kings #6 (Marvel) "War of Kings" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Paul Pelletier Rick Magyar Andrey Hennessy Wil Quintana Brandon Peterson (cover) Mike Choi/Sonia Oback (variant cover)

wow. i keep looking for happy endings and they never happen. silly me. Black Bolt and Vulcan's mano-a-mano results in both of them dead - probably (this is the Marvel Universe after all). one thing we can be sure of, is that Gladiator will be the new Shi'ar boss. here's hoping he doesn't start another war after what happened to Lilandra; he should go after the Raptors (likely the next cosmic crossover, eh DnA?). what's next for the cast of characters? fingers crossed, no one gets canceled (Guardians of the Galaxy and Nova). Alex and Lorna should go back home to Earth though, and be with family again. one thing good out of this, is we get rid of the annoying Vulcan for awhile (why does he talk like an American douchebag? somebody probably edited out "like" from the dialogue).

i think the collected trade would really be worth getting, as i feel this was a stronger crossover, story and art-wise than its Annihilation predecessors.

drive-by readings: The Authority #13

The Authority #13 (DC/Wildstorm) Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Simon Coleby Cliff Rathburn Drew Johnson Ray Snyder Carrie Strachan Wes Abbott

just when i crack open an Authority book for the first time in a long time, who do we have bedeviling my sentimental team of badasses? why, its whatsisname Kaizen the old fart. not sure how he's alive and well - i'm just getting up to speed with this brave new world they're in. let's see - Apollo and the Doc are missing, Jack's a cripple, and Midnighter just went off to find his Sun God. now they're in for a fight as Gamorra sends his superclones and his proxy daughter Cybernary to reclaim the remnants of this world. gee thanks, old fart. Midnighter, when you do come back, make it permanent this time, will ya?

drive-by readings: War of Kings: Ascension #4

War of Kings: Ascension #4 (Marvel) "Fugitive" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Wellinton Alves Scott Hanna Guru eFX Cory Petit Brandon Peterson (cover)

last time we left Chris Powell, a.k.a. Darkhawk, he wrests back control of the suit from the Raptor Razor, but just right after the latter assassinates Lilandra for Vulcan. this immediately makes him somewhat Sh'iar Public Enemy Number One (depending on who you talk to), and the anti-BFF of Gladiator and the Starjammers. give him credit for making the best out of a really bad situation and taking the fight back to the Fraternity of Raptors. this series started out slow, but ends up a winner. and the open ending paves the way for the next cosmic crossover? right? right??

drive-by readings: Amazing Spider-Man #599

Amazing Spider-Man #599 (Marvel) "American Son, Part 5 of 5" Joe Kelly Stephen Segovia Paulo Siquiera Marco Checchetto Amilton Santos Jeromy Cox Chris Chuckry Joe Caramagna Phil Jimenez/Andy Lanning (cover)

you can't say Norman Osborn's a waffler. once its decidedly apparent that Harry doesn't want to play the role of his American Son (after the big reveal of last issue), he takes him off the will and focuses on his yet-unborn child with Lily the Menace (gaaaaahhhh!). this means Harry is pretty much useless to him as a flower in a firefight. but Peter's best friend (seriously? all my years i never saw Harry give to Peter as much as Peter gave to him) has other ideas and narrowly defeats his pyscho pop. only Peter saves him from delivering the final blow (sorry, Logan), ensuring that the Dark Reign will continue well till the end of the year. take a bow, Joe Kelly.