let's vault in

drive-by readings

X-Men Legacy #239 (Marvel) "Collision Part Two" Mike Carey Clay Mann Jay Leisten Brian Reber Cory Petit Leinil Francis Yu (cover)

what we learned: Luz or Luisa, the stray they picked up last issue and now defended against Sentinels in this one, is more trouble than they bargained for. and why do we say that? ah, as i mentioned last time, the inhabitants of the world (uh, "The Corridor". duh.) she came from bear a resemblance to - uh, hello, Children of the Vault. how you doin'?
oh shit moment: Rogue gives Magneto one big uppercut just to let him know that there is nothing (nothing! nothing!) between them.
what's next: rematch! only Rogue is left from the original team of X-Men they clashed with before.


HDTV? 3D? pfah. solid state light shows are the bomb!

children of the corridor

drive-by readings

X-Men Legacy #238 (Marvel) "Collision Part One" Mike Carey Clay Mann Jay Leisten Brian Reber Cory Petit Leinil Francis Yu (cover)

what we learned: since this is Mike Carey driving the ship, he injects new (Spanish-flavored) enemies similar to the Children of the Vault circa the Supernovas story arc (thoroughly enjoyed that one), for a collision course with our mutants (Rogue being one of his faves, i feel). Rogue and Magneto accompany Paras and two other kids to Mumbai for a parental issue, but Mags has his suspicions of an extranormal anomaly. i hope the continuous suspicion of his current teammates doesn't push him again over to the supervillain side of the fence.
oh shit moment: where the hell did these quasi-Sentinels come from? (uh, "The Corridor". duh.)
what's next: i'd rather have someone else other than Clay Mann drawing this, but what the heck - bring it on.


20% tip mandatory.

snaps: X-Men Legacy #231

... where Blindfold's tweets with Destiny lands a bunch of them in Muir Isle and come face to face with an old enemy (who of course was supposed to be dead, as usual). oh, and Magneto gets slapped down by Rogue. which could trigger another meltdown back to supervillain status in issue #250.

1) Rogue demonstrates the tuck-and-roll to Blindfold.


2) in another lifetime, Kurt, you would have a steel bar wrapped your throat for that comment.


3) careful there, Mags - that 'child's' brother is upfront piloting the plane. oh, wait, he joined your cause that day, and that child (editorially) came back to life eventually anyway. ok, fine, you can talk.


4) Psylocke. Husk. on the same plane. hmmm. nobody noticed this?


5) lookit!!! a Maggott sighting! X-fans do the wave!!!

like, who hasn't boinked a Skrull?

we got Hank Pym, Clint Barton, Johnny Storm (waaaay back), Tigra (preggy!!) ... maybe the Skrull Kill Krew ... and as the evidence above shows, even the ol' Canucklehead himself.


geez. at least y'all coulda used protection! well, didja??



by the way, this issue left me confused. is Elektra just a cold-blooded killing machine, not breaking cover even if she had to whack a lot of S.H.I.E.L.D. guys? this was like poking a ghastly bullet wound.

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Dark Reign: Elektra #5

drive-by readings: Dark Reign - Elektra #4

Dark Reign: Elektra #4 (Marvel) Zeb Wells Clay Mann Mark Pennington Matt Hollingsworth Cory Petit Lee Bermejo (cover)

it had to happen eventually right? Elektra vs Bullseye in the World Series of Hurt - so far, its still Bullseye 1, Elektra 0. well, make that 0.5, because an injured Elektra manages to stab Bullseye with his own arrow, and the jerk threw in the towel and ran away from the ring.

say with all the crap the Hawkeye costume got (skirt?), it's a kind of weird to have Bullseye wearing it in perverse honor in combat. Clint Barton, you better take back that costume when this is all finished. also, can anybody tell me what comic shows anyone firing a bullet manually - i should think the Punisher or Quentin Tarantino would've done it by now, because it looks so cool.

why is there an issue remaining in this series? because there's still that matter of the 82 million dollar bounty on Elektra's head and who put in that order. i reckon Wolverine should be able to help in that regard.

Paladin is a loser

i mean, ever since i first saw him trying to score points with the late Janet Van Dyne in the pages of the Avengers, its been downhill ever since.

i don't care how many people he helped in the course of his career - he's a goddamned mercenary and will only be motivated by whoever has the bigger wallet. has Daredevil gotten even yet for being shot by Paladin with a sniper rifle? i need to find that issue where Paladin gets his legs broken by U.S. Agent.

the turning point was infiltrating the Heroes for Hire and capturing Captain America for S.H.I.E.L.D. thank goodness for the topless martial artist for saving the day (you know i meant Shang Chi, not Colleen Wing, you dirty schmucks).

and now, for 82 million bucks, he goes behind his current Thunderbolt boss, Wormin' Norman Osborn, to kill the real Elektra (a rehab patient during the regime change). of course, she uses some Tooth Fu (main practitioners being Bullseye and the Ultimate version of Hawkeye) and gains the upper hand, as well as enjoying her first skewering (one she once endured) in a long, long while.

Zeb Wells loves Paladin so much, he keeps getting screen roles

and thus, we are in for a treat next issue as she gets to kill lots of H.A.M.M.E.R. fodder (who needed the jobs in this recession and now may not enjoy the benefits).

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Dark Reign: Elektra #1

and he's baaaaaaack!

Matt Murdock, terror of the female species, is back on the scene.

with his wife locked away for insanity barely ten issues ago, its time once again for Matty to ride aboard the Ho Train. wait, that didn't sound right.

anyway, this time around he gets close to his own P.I., Dakota North. the immediate excuse is vulnerability on both sides.

as Wolverine wondered in Enemy of the State, "what do they see in you, Murdock? all these chicks you bring back here in this weird house that doesn't even have a painting on the walls. you're not that smart, you're not that rich, you're not that funny - how can you be getting so much of something i barely had in years?"


who's next? Jessica Jones? oh wait, that one's taken.

himbo!!!!!!!!!!

(jealous)

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Daredevil #111

i was just buggin'

its finally here!

having been captured by Hulk's Warbound, our odd collection of heroes get the "Alien"/Sigourney Weaver/Japanese manga treatment, courtesy of Sana Takeda. of course, the cover is a slightly askew depiction of Zeb Wells' story, used more to draw fanboys to expect something different but would end up disappointing them because Clay Mann is drawing the interiors.

also, i would advise you not to read much into this:

Clay Mann: "bestiality? what dat?


OMAC, ... i mean, Bug, seems to be slowly slipping to dark side, the way he's betraying his friends to the Brood Queen and the bugs. but somehow, his act doesn't fool me.



also, should we take this to mean this is the most exciting event for a martial artist since Ralph Macchio was about to crane kick William Zabka? he finally comes to terms to kicking ass and tapping ass! welcome back, Shang!


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Heroes for Hire #13

how green is your planet

World War Hulk sightings:

too many insects

Humbug is now more-than-half-bug, less-than-half-human. he thinks his mission is to make this world safe for his insect friends, hence he has to wipe out this new alien infestation. trouble is, his pals are overmatched against the Hulk's pals. much worse, the Queen Brood seems to have Humbug's number, including his secret blog. lest you think this is dragging on for far too long, next month is the one you've been waiting for!

Dugan talks to objects

after the beatdown T-Stark got from the Jolly Green Giant, S.H.I.E.L.D. is in almost total disarray. where's that bulldyke Maria Hill now?? anyway, Tony manages to give instructions to loyal service guy Dum Dum Dugan via his Extremis shit on one final Hulk-beating solution, but it involves lot of collateral damage.

the friend of my friend is my enemy

Rick Jones vs Miek! or not. this one is more of a philosophical battle and not much of a physical one (guess who wins! let's just say we all hope the Miek shall not inherit the earth, heh heh). those who wanted a lot more punch in their funny books best just skipped to the next one below ...

the Hulk beats up old guys

with the supposedly-Hulk's-friend and most-powerful-being-ever Sentry not answering Dubya's summons to join the fray, we have to endure the geezers General Ross and Doc Strange (well, not really a geezer yet, but in terms of seniority yeah) taken down by the Hulk. but wait! don't count the Doc out ... he's bringing out the Zom.

so yeah. who else is left? we need Nick Fury here asap! or Thor! we need Thor! (too bad, Thor#1 seems to take place after these events)

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Incredible Hulk #108
Greg Pak, Leonard Kirk, Scott Hanna
Iron Man#20
Chris Gage, Butch Guice
World War Hulk #2
Greg Pak, John Romita Jr., Klaus Janson
Heroes For Hire #12
Zeb Wells, Clay Mann, Terry Pallot

hulkamania

World War Hulk sightings:

overall, DC does a better job coordinating multi-titled crossover events, but Marvel earns some brownie points this time (yeah, yeah, its just the first month!).

Humbug decapitates a Miek-ling
Heroes for Hire #14, by Zeb Wells, Clay Mann, Terry Pallot
is there some kind of 90's decute-ification revival going on? y'know, fun hero morphs into tough, dark persona (Speedball = Penance; mutant postman = The Collective). to be fair, Humbug was like a Wonder Twin of H4H. now, he's ... badass. but we are now skeptical of the company Hulk keeps.


who's your god-dy?
Incredible Hulk #107, by Greg Pak, Gary Frank, Jon Sibal
7th smartest human Amadeus Cho (bril name!) brings former Champions Hercules and Angel to help out the Hulk. but of course there has to be some eardrum-shattering punching - the cover says so! we're waiting for the blow up between Namor and the Hulk. by the way, if you want to email Hercules to ask him how his face feels, drop him a line at hercules@olympus.com.


Iron Giant vs Hulk
Iron Man #19, by Christos N. Gage, Butch Guice
this issue of Iron Man expands the events prior and within WWH #1. it still ends up with Hulk kicking Tony's metal ass.


the jump
Ghost Rider #12, by Daniel Way, Javier Saltares, Scott Hanna
Johnny Blaze (another former Champion) overrides his Ghost Rider program and races to Manhattan to help out. he could have gone from New Jersey and straight to the city via Holland Tunnel, but instead for cinematic purposes he went through Staten Island and Brooklyn, because he ... needs to jump over the Brooklyn Bridge. and when he gets to the other side, the Hulk is right there waiting for him. and then of course the book ends, and we have to wait another 30 friggin' days to find out what the hell happens next.

damn you, Daniel Way!



wait ... what are the order of these events, exactly? methinks next week, all coordination breaks down. oboy.