illegal immigrant gives up citizenship, breaks Internet

ah, the brouhaha that comics cause nowadays. the medium has gone a long way from merely sending conservatives into a frenzy because it allegedly poisons the minds of kids. oh, wait. we're still in that era, aren't we?

it has been awhile since Supes has made a blatantly political statement (hmm, we should probably count his "Walk Across America" campaign last summer). basically he's leaning closer to Batman's politics. not so much, but closer.next stop: Batman, Inc.

and what does Marvel have to say about this?

nahh, that's Glenn Beck masquerading as the Thing. we all know Benjie's a hippie and moved to France (let the surrendering jokes commence) during Marvel's Civil War.

----------
Action Comics #900, FF #2

Spidey and his Fantastic Friends

FF #2 "Doom Nation"
Amazing Spider-Man #659 "Fantastic Voyage, Part 1 of 2"

and here i thought these two were linked story-wise; turns out its not. i totally enjoyed both anyway.

right after the drafting of now-accomplished nerd Spider-Man as Johnny's replacement, Jonathan Hickman surprised me by bringing Doom into the equation. well, not really because this was hinted back in earlier issues. i just thought he was going to join the Future Foundation as a tenuous member, a la Magneto in the current X-Men. maybe he still is, because he's not one to miss an opportunity to tout his intelligence (at least by the end of this issue). however, Reed should be more worried about Valeria (whom Doom named, in her revised origin), who seems to be getting or causing more trouble than Franklin when he was her age. she's probably too smart for her own good.

even as distracted as Reed can be, i don't think he would easily forget that was how Tony Stark came back to his proper senses in the recent Siege. oh well.

so, dumb-as-a-rock Doom ostensibly made a deal with Valeria to help him recover from his brain damage and be back to being the scumbag genius that he is, and they manage to do so, by copying some files from Doom ward Kristoff's own noggin. interestingly, Reed makes the moral if difficult decision to go along with it, even when given the chance to get rid of his longtime arch-enemy permanently. and what's the price Valeria demands? for Doom to defeat her dad. uhhh, what?

super-nerd Parker, also not a fan of Doom, at least is honest about cracking jokes regardless.

there's more to this than meets the eye, though. the next issue's preview show the return of the well-meaning yet blinded Reeds, and maybe that's what Doom needs (or Valeria wants Doom) to beat.

over in Spidey's own book, the foursome take a journey to an island they had visited early in their original incarnation, where Ben played Blackbeard the Pirate and get some gems back to a tiger-stroking Doom (heh) who had Sue as a hostage. anyway, some radioactive anomaly is emanating from this island and geeks just need to investigate radioactive anomalies.

funnily, with the attack-happy locals exercising their fear of strangers, its the FF's reputation that saves them (or is it the other way around). Dan Slott and Fred Van Lente continue their knack for snappy hilarious patter, which makes me wonder why they didn't get them to write Spider-Man a loooong time ago.

ending up fighting zombie pirates (eh?), the fun gets doubled as Benjie reprises his award-winning role, courtesy of Mr. Parker's quick thinking.

just like over in Avengers, we see that our heroes end up cleaning after old foes (think Spidey's rogues gallery ... his best baddies, minus the Goblin of course). with the promise of more ass-kicking, errr ... booty-kicking next issue, i can't wait!

FF story: A-  art: A-
ASM story: A+ art: A

brother grimm

drive-by readings

Fantastic Four #584 (Marvel) "Three Part Two: Congratulations, Mr. Grimm. You're Handsome Again!" Jonathan Hickman Steve Epting Paul Mounts Rus Wooton Alan Davis/Mark Farmer/Javier Rodriguez (cover)

what we learned: this title has been gathering steam and now its clicking on all cylinders, with Jonathan Hickman bringing all the previously-introduced elements slowly to bear. Sue takes charge to be an ambasadress for the Atlantean tribes (Angelina Jolie!), and Reed may be in trouble with the Surfer. for the best part, he also finds a way to revive the 'can we make Ben Grimm human again' record and get away with it, with him and Johnny painting the town red (hey, Stan!), tangling with a retooled Yancy Street Gang (that was a hoot), and having a tender moment with Alicia (aaaawwwww).
oh shit moment: uh ... Galactus?
what's next: always expect the Fantastic. Hickman brings the wow every month. someone also draw up divorce papers for the Richards couple.

hey, me too!

i'll be there for you

drive-by readings

Thor, The Mighty Avenger #4 (Marvel) "Boys' Night Out" Roger Langridge Chris Samnee Matthew Wilson Rus Wooton Samnee/Christina Strain (cover)

what we learned: with the arrival of the Warriors Three (always heartwarming), Thor gets a night out ... in Norway. he also makes friends with Captain Britain. after a fashion.
oh shit moment: rocketing from above, the pride of Britannia scatters the gods like leaves.
what's next: Thursday means Thor's Day. so there's gonna be a celebration?


there's a GPS sale at Best Buy, godlings ...

big

drive-by readings

Thor, The Mighty Avenger #3 (Marvel) "Here Be Giants" Roger Langridge Chris Samnee Matthew Wilson Rus Wooton

what we learned: here we see how Thor first meets the Pyms, but due to Loki's usual hijinks, Thor sees Hank Pym as a Frost Giant, and tormented by visions of his Dad and Asgardian pals. we also learn that Hank can do Jedi mind tricks, and Janet can help anyone secure job connections. see, she didn't die during Secret Invasion! wait, what ...
oh shit moment: my pea brain is just processing this - but how does Jane go from museum department head to nurse/doctor?
what's next: by what we see from the last page, its a hugfest courtesy of Volstagg.


and then there was that time that Odin got a severe case of rock diarrhea ...

little lost god

drive-by readings

Thor, The Mighty Avenger #2 (Marvel) "Hyde" Roger Langridge Chris Samnee Matthew Wilson Rus Wooton

what we learned: this kid-friendly series is a great intro for Thor to a new generation of readers, especially with the movie on the horizon. here, he's fish out of water after being cast out of Asgard and trying to walk with humans with Jane Foster as his guide. but of course, Mr. Hyde is there to mess things up.
oh shit moment: didn't know Thor could eat a lot of food! and he doesn't gain weight or get fat! what is his secret???
what's next: Jane takes Thor to Disney World!!!


what? you haven't seen the favelas yet, have you??

snaps: Fantastic Four #576

... where we meet the representatives of water, whereas last week we met the denizens of the deep earth. waaaaaaaaait a minute, i see where you're going here, Jon Hickman! so you are telling me, that the three races of old as created by those smug Celestials were not Eternals, Deviants and humans? geddouddaheah!!

Johnny Storm ... loves the winter.


yes, yes ... you forgot making blockbuster movies!!!


Sue confessing to having an affair with a student, in front of students.


this is the Man vs. Wild episode we weren't supposed to see.


male chauvinist pigs all over the world suddenly collapsed from simultaneous heart attacks.

snaps: Siege: Embedded #2

... where the road to Oklahoma is paved with the bodies of H.A.M.M.E.R. troops who get between Volstagg and his pork rinds. pork rinds, i say thee!!!

well, why don't YOU be president, then?? on the other hand, never mind.


NormBots > DoomBots


what, not even King or Black Men? you racist bastards.


an out-of-shape ex-TV newscaster gets the drop on a trained soldier. yeaahhh, right.


which is more believable: that a magic kingdom floats over the fields of Oklahoma, or that Volstagg can smoothly maneuver a Goblin Glider and fight? even better, the glider can hold his weight!!!

snaps: Fantastic Four #575

... where the Mole Man enlists our fearless foursome to help him ... am not really sure what for. there's this underground city that used to be inhabited by the High Evolutionary, and now it's rising up, and whoever stays within its limits becomes super intelligent. so it rises up, the US is in an uproar, and Ben Grimm may just, just maybe, become at par with Reed Richards in the smarts department.

and the cover of course, has no connection whatsoever with the story inside.


oh my, Princess Leia ... you look different.


get out!! he's a geneticist?? i thought he built a chain of hotels!


umm ... weren't you in New York ... where there's no fault line? (apparently there is.)


the best way to beat Galactus as always, is to starve him.


what are the chances that devolved children living miles beneath the earth's surface, speak English?


shut up, Steve Jobs!! Reed Richards had the HomePad even before your iPad was launched!!

i'm with fat

drive-by readings

Siege: Embedded #1 (Marvel) Brian Reed Chris Samnee Matthew Wilson Rus Wooton Adi Granov (cover)

Ben Urich is the luckiest character in the Marvel Universe, following in the footsteps of Phil Sheldon, and has been on the front row seat of every significant event in the Marvel U. not the least of his fortune is the fact that he's survived all the crazy shit that happened in the last decade at least, and he didn't need to be saved by his hero pals either. and it makes sense that this anti-Green Goblin crusader would be at the frontline and helping out when they finally bring Norman Osborn down.

running into an old journo/pisser/friend Wil Stern in Chi-Town post-Volstagg eruption, they catch up on old times. even better, Volstagg walks past their diner! talk about being at the right place at the right time. its that ol' Urich luck.

it's a bit contrived that Volstagg, all five hundred thousand pounds of Asgardian jowls and fat, can even be walking around Chicago without being noticed (except by that plucky newsman from New Yawk). not only that, they even feed him an inordinate amount of food, and no one in the diner (presumably, Chicago natives distraught at the destruction of Soldier Field) even acts suspiciously and picks up the phone to call the cops. the H.A.M.M.E.R. helicarriers are all around and with all that technology, they can practically find anyone! the failure to do so also reflects well on reality, as events from the last three weeks have shown, if you have been reading the news.

we're also introduced to the flipside of the honorable Urich cloth - a Bill O'Reilly/Glenn Beck hybrid who's been commissioned by Osborn to brainwash people all the more to the Goblin's way of thinking. aren't you glad comics aren't written by the conservative right? or maybe its just the sign of the times. if the conditions were different, we would have Captain America slinging his shield and beating up Middle Eastern people (wait, Mark Millar did that in The Ultimates).

Chris Samnee (The Exterminators) brings a gritty feel to Urich's most important journey, and i'm glad to be along for the ride.


you deserve this, America. if you believe ranting idiots like these, its no one else's fault.


imagine if Matt Lauer did that.


hey, i don't see Bullseye in this picture. he's probably killing off survivors.


aw, c'mon! didn't he have burgers in Oklahoma?? are you kidding me??


useless billion dollar technology - no wonder we're in the tank.

snaps: Fantastic Four #574

... where we celebrate Franklin's nth birthday (we can't tell 'cause Suzie's gonna encase our heads in an airless bubble if we do), with friends, powerless and otherwise. also, apparently, Dale Eaglesham took a break so we're getting substandard art here. and oh, get ready to go back 13 years.

1) call the FDNY!! Herbie's on fire!!!


2) the number is 41. Franklin Richards is 41. whodathunk!?


3) J. Jonah Jameson, for one day, let go of his Spideyphobia.


4) holy God! are these kids or adults!?! where's June Brigman when you need her??


5) like X-Men Forever and Clone Saga wasn't enough to regurgitate. now we get Heroes Reborn too??

why Invincible is the best comic around

where else can you have good old fun by punching supervillains named ... Dinosaurus?

not to mention every comic ends with some sort of a cliffhanger. Robert Kirkman manages to nearly knock every issue out of the park, and with an art team that is consistent with its output.

scene of the week

Omni-Man crashing in Allen the Alien's crib.






ohhh, i bet he wants to reconcile with Debbie so bad!!

-----
Invincible #67

drive-by readings: Fantastic Four #570

Fantastic Four #570 (Marvel) "Solve Everything, Part One" Jonathan Hickman Dale Eaglesham Paul Mounts Rus Wooton John Cassaday/Laura Martin (variant cover)

once again, hubris rears its ugly head. but then again, Reed Richards wouldn't be Reed Richards if he wasn't like this, no? and therein lies the conundrum. for all his smarts, he hasn't made the world a better place to live in. they still got villains running amuck, the Negative Zone still a hotbed of revolution, three cosmic wars just occured, Steve Rogers is lost in time, Norman Osborn is in charge, and even the 616 mutant equivalent of AIDS was solved by Hank McCoy (subsequently rendered moot by those Breakworld aliens). so what does he do for an encore? well, just keep on choppin', that's what. to this end, he built a great machine (oooh, it always starts from those things) allowing him to calculate answers to impossible and even better, reach out to entities who apparently, share his line of thinking. is it a surprise then, that they ... are all him? and these Reeds from different realities and pocket universes - they also seem to have the Infinity Gems in their possession. hey let's play a game: who would win - the Infinity Gems or the Cosmic Cube? the answer is, neither. the Beyonder always wins.

Jonathan Hickman has posited some interesting ideas. let us take a ride with him.

drive-by readings: Invincible #64-65

Invincible #64-65 (Image) "Conquest: Conclusion"/"Conquest: Epilogue" Robert Kirkman Ryan Ottley Cliff Rathburn FCO Plascencia Rus Wooton

and here i am, (un)fashionably late for the party. hey, it's Kirkman's fault. anyhoo, what can i say about Invincible #64-65 (#64 will henceforth referred to solely as "The Headbutting Issue") that hasn't been talked about already? nothing much, i guess. i'm very impressed with Ryan Ottley. very very impressed. solid, cartoony yet detailed, and with FCO Plascensia (is that a group or an individual), the colors bring the destruction to vivid life. this is how they should've done G.I. Joe the cartoon version back in the '80s. because you can't have war without somebody dying. see that bone sticking out of Mark's arm during the punch-to-punch splash page? ahhhhhhhhhh! and Conquest's mangled face afterwards? yeeeeech! one can imagine Ottley beside himself with glee as he was illustrating these.

and after all that damage our heroes took, including us readers flinching at every impact, i can't think of anything else right now except Atom Eve. and her new enhancements. go away now, leave me alone.

what are the odds on the rematch with Conquest? issue #75? #90? #100?