Showing posts with label you hit like a girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label you hit like a girl. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Monday, November 9, 2009

you hit like a girl #17

in a Fables/Marvel crossover, superspy Cinderella gives a Nick Fury with Norman-Osborn-hair the closeup on her glass slipper.




ok, it wasn't really a crossover. but still.

-----
Cinderella: From Fabletown With Love #1

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

you hit like a girl! #15

Dinah Lance has been an important DC character for so long. the Black Canary role has been passed from her mother to her (they actually had to split the original character into two!), and the modern era has made Dinah a pillar of feminine ideals and strength.

Dinah has led the Justice League and the Birds of Prey, two of the best villain-stomping superteams in the DCU. i actually prefer her run in Birds of Prey, as they were like the Danger Girls with more brains and all of the sass and sexayness.

i mean, seriously, if you have less than two X chromosomes, you better watch your step around Dinah. especially if you've been previously married to her (the point being "previous" as it means you did something shitty and she divorced you and years later, you're still acting shitty).


Dinah would also make a great debt collector if this crimefighting thing didn't pan out (y'know, if there ever was peace on earth). below is what would happen to those who apply for those 0% loans but skipped town right after they got the money.


also, she could be a great dentist (at least when it comes to tooth extraction), providing cheap services to those who can't afford insurance (here's a big eff you to AIG).


but back to crimefighting. criminals would always be doing something stupid (that's why they are criminals; some are just stupider than others).

let's take for example, this bow-wielding, Wolverine-haired jackass named Merlyn, who dared kidnap Dinah's adopted daughter, to ultimately control the League of Assassins. that's a no-no.


if you're fighting with a bow and arrow, it probably makes sense not to go into hand to hand combat ...


... since its possible you can lose both your arms, and you'll be left with spitting at the enemy.


assuming you can get the spit out before getting kicked in the mouf.


ahh, archers. they never learn. why, Ollie Queen (a.k.a. Green Arrow) should know this, of all people, and he could've warned Merlyn of what could happen. but ... naaaaahhh. they kinda hate each other.

Ollie knows what could happen, because he's been on the receiving end many, many times.


he knows he's gonna get whipped and he still does it. i mean, we never did see much what happened in the past when he was still this philandering ladies' man. whooooh. who knows how many times these two broke up? (and what bones were broken)


Dinah still ends up marrying Ollie, but only because he likes the pain. i kid, i kid.

oh, yeah, and never ever tell her that she hits like a girl. or tell her to shut up. ever.


-----
Black Canary limited series (2007)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

you hit like a girl! #14

can you imagine getting hit with a baton on the mouf mouth, and wondering if said baton got broken in the course of slamming on your mouth, and what effect would it have on your teef teeth?



well, the Joker knows.

-----
Birds of Prey #124

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

you hit like a girl! #13

this series of posts has finally its own mascot. ladies and gentlemen, from the kickass comic called ... Kick Ass (what else), i give you Hit Girl!


now that's what i call a backstabber!!!


if you ever had a daughter like this ...


i mean i've been to the Chophouse, but this is just ridiculous.


her slicing technique would be great on Food Network's Iron Chef America.



just in case she's gender-considerate ... ummm, actually no.



Go Go Yubari? The Bride? they're Barbie Dolls. this one's the real deal.

Monday, September 15, 2008

you hit like a girl! #12

way before she got replaced by the Skrull queen, Jessica Drew a.k.a. the original Spider-Woman, has been on the side of the good guys (most of the time anyway, at least perception-wise), and she does kick a lot of bad-guy ass (most of the time anyway).

a few exceptions include this one when she was still a brainwashed Hydra soldier and gives the S.H.I.E.L.D. boys a good whuppin' on the way to meeting her future boss, Nick Fury, for the first time.


note this kung fu move combined with her vaunted "venom blasts".


having learned the hard way that she was a product of genetic testing by her psycho pop funded by Hydra, she lashes back at them the best way she knows. i would.


i wonder how these guys would deal being beat up by a girl later. i mean, they probably organized an ACA - Asskicked by a Chick Anonymous.


members would be those who survive and can still walk and talk after say, six months of rehab.


aside from being betrayed by her dad, Jessica was also betrayed by a one-time lover, Jared, who made her think Hydra was a humanitarian agency who distributed relief goods and took down terrorist groups. learning the truth made her see red. that, and finding out that Jared was really a fat bastard before he became the Subway mascot.


another thing Jessica hated apart from being lied to, is being cloned. too bad, clones don't really come close to the original. ask Michael Keaton.


one of her early mentors was the morally ambiguous (sometimes) Taskmaster, and she pretty much gave him as good as she got.


wait, it gets better, when she encounters him years later, out of costume, and on the side of the angels.




giving a "jolt" to about 50 guys at the same time uhm, ... seems to be some kind of record.


let's see if in Secret Invasion, the Skrull Jessica gets to kick as much superhero ass before she finally gets taken down.


-----
from Spider-Woman: Origin
Brian Reed/Brian Michael Bendis/the Luna Brothers

Saturday, August 23, 2008

you hit like a girl! #11

i should have submitted one of my YHLAG posts to Bahlactus' Friday Night Fights (which inspired these anyway), but ... oh well.

for this edition, we have Ms. Marvel, Skrullbuster.











-----
Ms. Marvel #29
art by Adriana Melo/Paulo Siqueira/Mariah Benes

Thursday, July 31, 2008

you hit like a girl! #10

if you are fit, you must acquit!

as Elektra does, in her final battle trying to prevent the Skrull takeover.










too bad, she can't handle brute force. she gets taken down, replaced and now the Marvel Universe is in deep doo-doo. thanks a lot, Elektra.

by the way, one of the Elektras up there is a Skrull. but you knew that already.


-----
Mighty Avengers #16

Friday, July 25, 2008