seeds of hope

drive-by readings

Uncanny X-Men #526 (Marvel) "The Five Lights Part One: Freak Like Me"/"Rebuilding" Matt Fraction Allan Heinberg Whilce Portacio Olivier Coipel Ed Tadeo Mark Morales Brian Reber Justin Ponsor Joe Caramagna Terry Dodson/Rachel Dodson (cover)

what we learned: Hope finds her family (or the backstory of it anyway) in Alaska, and its good enough to trust her new one going forward. What happens when Bishop comes back? also, grandpa Magneto learns of his possible grandkids Wiccan and Speed (in a prequel to Avengers: The Children's Crusade), but Wolverine warns him off. and nothing happens. ah, those halcyon days of 1993.
oh shit moment: apparently, there is hope of Kitty Pryde, whose diagnosis seems to be, she just forgot how to unphase. hey, Hank, care to come back for a second opinion?
what's next: this issue, Emma goes out to meet Tony Stark. next up, she's going for some raw sushi.


wait ... what? after all that shepherding and leading and banging one of the hottest chicks in the world, he's still an emotional cripple?

illuminated

drive-by readings

Siege #4 (Marvel) "The Siege of Asgard - The Fallen" Brian Michael Bendis Olivier Coipel Mark Morales Laura Martin Chris Eliopoulos Gabrielle Dell'Otto/Joe Quesada/Danny Miki/Richard Isanove (variant covers)

as the Staples ad goes ... well, that was easy. three birds, one event. take out Norman Osborn? check. resolve Bob/Sentry/Void thing? check. take out Loki? check.


Bendis brings the payoff in 4 issues, though there may be yet unwritten stories or edited parts that ended up on the cutting room floor. nevertheless, i'm good with the ending, though other fanboys may not be, and will wail and gnash their teeth but grudgingly jostle for the front seat for the Heroic Age. that's what the Interwebz are for.

ah, Norman, Norman. ah, Dark Avengers #1 wasn't so long ago, was it, Iron Patriot? (ugh) how the mighty have fallen. and without your H.A.M.M.E.R. and your fancy armor, you're just another insane loony tune who needs to be locked up.


what's next for Osborn? some or all of this would happen: the public would forget about all of these in two years, he'll escape and make trouble and/or clear his name, and he'll be somewhat powerful again pretty soon. so Marvel writers, if you're serious about "making him pay for his crimes" .... well, you better make sure. its a tired cliche to have them bad guys returning and returning for no good reason (and that goes for the heroes as well). and with the 'Heroic' theme that's coming, it looks like it may go easy on the villains as well (i doubt somebody wants to organize a firing squad, given that these a lot of these bad guys are pretty resilient). Stark already did the Guantanamo thing. do you build a prison to hold these guys (the Raft? puh-leaze.) or do you have a permanent solution? more likely, they'll all still be running around like the rats they are.

now for Bob Reynolds ... ah, the hero who started out as a marketing gimmick, then became the figure we all know who had the power of a thousand or a million (i can never remember which) exploding suns, and who basically was the most powerful superbeing in all creation. and we can't have that, can we? look how they used him to get rid of the Molecule Man (previously, the most powerful being around these parts, except that he didn't want the attention and nobody really cared about a nerd). am not sure if the Sentry went head to head with the Beyonder, but of course, we just exist as a twinkle in the Beyonder's eye. ah well. that was a good ten years, wasn't it?


and we can't talk about the Sentry now without mentioning Ares now, can we? i found him a much more interesting character than Hercules, and he provided a lot of value for the Avengers, be it regular or dark edition. i'm waiting for the salute to him. i wonder what Phobos is thinking right now. there will always be a God of War, right? for these guys, they died here and now. let's not bring them back, ok? it just renders poignant events like these senseless (hello, Steve Rogers).

so, about Loki ...

i'm a little puzzled by his Asgardian loyalties and his sudden desire to help out the heroes, and eventually take one for the team. really? didn't he just sell out the Asgardians to Dr. Doom to cut up? and now he's regretting the whole set up? boo hoo.



oh hey, remember this?


yes, that's Loki's Get Out of Being Dead free card, so you better expect him to show up somewhere down the road, expectedly to Thor's surprise (y'know, you've been with Loki with centuries and y'all still get punk'd by him all the goddamn time its already tiresome. yeah, you too now you can't kill him anymore. geez.).

a few more notes:

- when Iron Man exhorts everyone to hit The Void with everything they got, does Spider-Man shoot webs at it? how about Luke? Cassie?
- even with that restored backup in his head, most of the guys think Tony's still a douchebag, right? basically, that's the only lingering memento of Civil War - the resentment.
- hey, look, Maria Hill's still wearing her S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform! she probably sleeps in that too (except when Tony has to get in her pants - ohhhh! did i type that??)


- like i said ... the Victoria Hand limited series coming soon!


- Nick Fury has like 1,024 secret bases all over the world, and some of them are probably off limits to S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel but built with S.H.I.E.L.D. money and resources. is he going to pass these things on to Steve Rogers? will they be sharing them? ("what are you doing here? it was my turn to use this as a secret hideout! yes, we did agree on it!")

- what did teh Asgardians put on top of Stark Tower? a piece of Asgard like an Alamo sign?
- who made a new cape for Thor after he wrapped Bob in it and sent him to the sun?
- yes, Siege was an Avengers-centric event, but something of this magnitude shouldn't entail the presence of Reed or some X-Men? apparently, Rogue had a thing with Bob (!) (check out The Sentry: Fallen Sun on sale now! - Steve Wacker), and there are saucy details to be dished.
- hey, come to think of it, i never saw Earth's Scientist Supreme in the thick of things in this issue. neither was he in the big shindig at Stark Tower (Iron Fist was there. DD was there too, wouldn't his Hand colleagues frown on that?). is that a dis against Hank Pym? is he going to be the villain in some big event soon?


and so Siege comes to a close. goodbye, Norman, its been fun. hey, wait, didn't you have a baby with Menace?

snaps: Astonishing Spider-Man & Wolverine #1

... where our intrepid heroes find themselves in the Savage Land after a weird event at a bank robbery. turns out its not the Savage Land, and its not Kansas either. am not sure how the characterization works with Logan and Peter - at one point, they kind of regret being trapped there together, but for me, Logan's like the big grim brother to him and their time as Avengers solidified this (i recall Logan telling him that Peter can't miss next time he gets a shot at Norman Osborn - am waiting if Siege #4 delivers on that). the hyped pairing of Jason Aaron and Adam Kubert has beget a story that looks like a raucous adventure even though am not sure where its going.

well, i guess not everyone wants to be on Survivor: Heroes & Villains, even if you're a hero.


how much you wanna bet there's a little Logan or two among these people?


what, now we have to change the song lyrics??


stop whining. you could be stuck with Daken and J. Jonah Jameson, respectively!


Angar the Screamer has a crew? that's a ... scream.


Devil Dinosaur doesn't get no respect. damn you, Warren Ellis.

snaps: Siege #3

... where it seems to easy for Osborn to be beaten, much less sell the Asgard plot to the American public and just flout the law. well, its a four-issue series, Bendis promised a lot of action and breakneck pacing, and he's probably tired of critics. its pretty much okay, as i'm pretty much tired of Osborn and i'm looking forward to the Heroic Age. but first, what to do with the Sentry/Void? ah, that's for the last issue.

i can totally visualize Prez Obama saying that. i don't care what you say.


what's next for her? a four-issue mini-series called "Talk to The Hand"?


Tony's like a moon rocket - can't go anywhere without a blast. *

* paraphrased from Iron Man vol. 1 #171

oh well - you finally made yourself useful!!


FINALLY.

well, it wasn't effin' Osborn!!!

/not sure if i can't do snaps. i miss the big lug already.

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Siege #2

war is a many-tentacled thing

drive-by readings

Secret Warriors #12 (Marvel) "Wake The Beast" Jonathan Hickman Stefano Caselli Sunny Gho Dave Lanphear Jimmy Cheung/Mark Morales/Justin Ponsor (cover) i don't know if other readers of this book kind of feels it like it ran out of steam in its last few issues. i like that Nick Fury took it upon himself to try and save the world on his own terms, recruiting his Secret Warriors and reforming the Howling Commandos. but there's too much going on, and this title is no longer "just" the Secret Warriors anymore. it was manageable when it was just Fury and his kids. now they're taking on Hydra, Leviathan and good knows who else, and with it the inevitable bureaucracy that running an organization entails. it doesn't help that Nick Fury sits there, lectures and he has like 46 scenarios running through his brain and you know he'll win eventually. for someone who went underground, his presence is practically everywhere - he recently helped Bucky Barnes get a new hand but hasn't renewed ties with Steve Rogers yet. i await the eventual sitdown between Fury, the resurrected Tony Stark, the two Captain Americas, Thor, and the rest of the Avengers. if this doesn't happen, i will protest in front of the Marvel offices until they do. oh wait, what happens in this issue? Leviathan captures Viper in search of the "Box" (maybe they should go to Utopia and look up Madison Jeffries?), and Hydra thinks there's a traitor in their midst, which would work well for Fury. both also have secret weapons to be unveiled. there's also a sidestory with Stonewall and Yo-Yo visiting Stonewall's Supermax-resident dad - Crusher Creel, presumably which happens after he got his ass kicked in Mighty Avengers #33. but again this thread is overshadowed by everything else that's going on.

cue in Guns N' Roses: "i used to love her ... but i had to kill her ..."


Gorgon wassn't too enthusiastic about this new acupuncture technique.

fight fight fight

drive-by readings

Siege #1 (Marvel) Brian Michael Bendis Olivier Coipel Mark Morales Laura Martin Chris Eliopoulos Gabrielle Dell'Otto/Quesada/Miki/Isanove (variant covers)

okay, this one is for all the marbles. Norman Osborn has lost it (or has he really?), and plots with the eternal Asgardian trickster Loki to create another Stamford, and cement his power grab in the guise of protection. quite the sign of the times as the whole 00 decade was one big Republican power trip (with all due respect to 9/11), and fittingly, as the decade closes, the Marvel Universe reflects this as Osborn (representing all that's bad with the government) goes for the big play and his presumably, eventual downfall.

the stand-in for Stamford this time is Chicago's Soldier Field, and the choice may have been driven by the writer's disgust with the play of the Bears' assumed savior at quarterback, Jay Cutler. just kidding. and who's the patsy for this show? well, look no further than the Voluminous Volstagg who's not been the sharpest of tools in the workshop, but certainly the most innocent and loyal of all of Thor's compatriots. how Fandral and Hogun let him out of their sights, i don't know. certainly they should take responsibility for their wayward little big brother. tee- hee.

interestingly, its the longtime Hulk villains, the U-Foes (yes, Virginia, they were named that way. blame Bill Mantlo and Sal Buscema.), who are sent to bait Volstagg into causing a big disaster. attacking Asgard (hello, Iraq) is Osborn's 'solution' and apparently Prez Obama and Congress are helpless in stopping him. no one learns from the lessons of history, especially if you have fear mongers among you. all you need is a big target and sell that. who needs the Hate Monger and Mr. Fear?

being a four-issue series, Bendis sort of fast forwards the scenes so we get to the invasion of Asgard right here and now. the corollary scenes would be in the related titles (that's why they provide you with checklists so you can prepare your wallet) but i expect scheduling conflicts to provide bumps to the reading pleasure (hello, Captain America Reborn). if you'd rather wait for the trade, that would be fine (as long as you stay off the internet in the next 6 to 8 months). but this thing is too good to miss. at least just to see how everything gets resolved, and what other event cards are Marvel holding up its sleeve once Osborn is gone and the world goes back to (relatively) normal.

snaps: Mighty Avengers #31

... where a good ol' time is had by all Avengers, Young and Mighty.

1) yep, its the founding Avenger whose also-founding-Avenger wife you boinked. YOU'RE in trouble now.


2) is that your way of atoning? hitting on the guy? (whoooops, did i say "hit"? sorry, Hank.)


3) how does he know? well, well, well ... let's just say it involves carnal knowledge.


4) Ban Luck is Good Luck for USAgent, Ugly American.


5) i'm a driver, not a fighter. wait, i do both!


6) whoa, whoa ... wasn't that Green Arrow and the Ray Palmer Atom?!?


7) well, next time you can call yourselves the "Masters of the Evil Brotherhood". sounds like a Broadway show.


8) for the fastest guy in the room, he's sure sloooooooow on the uptake. how many times he's pulled this kind of shit already?

the ultimate Hulk vs Wolverine

drive-by readings

Giant Size Wolverine: Old Man Logan (Marvel) "Old Man Logan: Conclusion" Mark Millar Steve McNiven Dexter Vines Mark Morales Morry Hollowell Cory Petit Paolo Rivera/Ed McGuinness/Chris Sotomayor (variant covers)

so it ends. i thought this would come out in 2010. providing a much more satisfying conclusion than the rightfully-maligned Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk, Mark Millar pulls out all the stops (ass jokes about the cover aside, heh) with his Civil War cohorts and bangs out the final confrontation between a not-really-old Wolverine and the surprisingly redneck (greennecks?) and inbred Banner Gang (who live in RVs. huh.).

actually, am not totally blown away with Millar writes anymore (after Kick-Ass, everything gets bloody anyway) - which is why am waiting to be really knocked off my feet by Ultimate Avengers. Steve McNiven, obviously drawing from a cinematic script, is his usual gorgeous self, albeit simplistic generally yet detailed in close ups.

having done his patriotic duty, Logan goes home to settle personal debts, as his family has been wiped out by the Banner Gang. the theme of Western style justice is prevalent here, crossed with those hillbillies from Deliverance. there is a twist of course, plus another which really isn't. i mean, destroying one from within isn't a new trick in the book, and the Hulk could've bitten Logan's head off first (there, i spoiled it for you. sue me.). lesson: do not be greedy, just like those people my friend Matt rants about.

so is this the end? judging by the way Logan rides off into the sunset ... you'd think it is. but maybe it isn't. especially if its gonna sell (2007-09 House of M spinoffs, anyone?)

capping the week of meltdowns

... and mailing it in with crappy Photochopping. thanks to the Holy Taco and Limewire for the inspiration. and real life for being absurd and funny.









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Thunderbolts #135, Kick-Ass #7, The Marvels Project #2, Dark Reign - The List: Avengers one shot

because your piece is on my list

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Avengers #1 (Marvel) Brian Michael Bendis Mark Djurdjevic Mark Morales Marte Gracia Joe Caramagna

ahhh! finally, the front row seat to see always-the-resident-hothead Clint Barton back up his word with action! and it just costs $3.99!

... and of course, you get what you pay for (no disrespect to BMB). if it only it were that easy to kill a sitting corrupt government official - they frown on vigilante justice around here. that's why we looked forward to what Clint was gonna do, after being disappointed with Frank.

and tossing Venmom, i mean Venom out the window, filling Bullseye with buckshot, perforating Daken's throat with an arrow, and standing off with your ex does not cut it. you gotta have follow through, Clint, you gotta have a plan, you gotta think 10 steps ahead. what would Steve Rogers say? i'd say nothing, but he's gonna smack you upside the head.


hey! where's the obligatory "Norman Osborn shoots someone in the head" closing scene?

drive-by readings TPB: Rise & Fall of the Shi'ar Empire

Uncanny X-Men: Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire (Marvel) Ed Brubaker Billy Tan Clayton Henry Danny Miki Allen Martinez Mark Morales Frank D'Armata Wil Quintana Joe Caramagna Chris Eliopoulos John Watson (other covers)

picking up from where he left off in Deadly Genesis, Ed Brubaker lays in the foundations for the ascension of the third Summers brother Vulcan as a powerhouse villain to be reckoned with, culminating in last summer's War of Kings.

with ol' Charlie Xavier messing up by not telling everything to Scott and Alex, he tries to make up for it by putting an ad hoc team together and try to stop Gabriel/Vulcan from annihilating the Shi'ar Empire - surprisingly, Scott doesn't put up much resistance, considering that team includes Alex and his alternate timeline daughter, Rachel. Xavier's lineup of choice also has Warpath (link to "second" X-team), Nightcrawler (perfect swashbuckler), Darwin (link to the real "second" X-team), and Lorna Dane/Polaris, whom they rescued just for this mission. Xavier's a real sneaky bastard, ain't he?

Vulcan prepares for any pursuit from Earth, so as soon as he gets the chance (by hijacking a Shi'ar military ship) he disables all Shi'ar stargates needed to jump back to the Shi'ar homeworld Chandilar. Xavier, himself commandeering an old Shi'ar ship (see, i told you he's sneaky), is stunned when he finds out (actually, he's also pleased, considering he trained Vulcan). now, where's Richard Dean Anderson/McGyver to cobble up a stargate when you need him? no McGyver, but a small Shi'ar space station (think 7/11) provides the stranded mutants supplies - and a challenge, as it turns out its manned by Skrulls (altogether now: "Secret Invasion!"). saving the two remaining Shi'ar in it, they proceed through Shi'ar space. unknown to Xavier, the two Shi'ar recognize his bald plate anywhere (he's like the Bin Laden of Shi'ar worlds) and wait for the chance to deliver his criminal mind to the bosses.

Vulcan, meanwhile, has grabbed the attention of the Shi'ar high command, with his stargate-destroying habits, and has come face to face with the Imperial Guard. he gives them a run for their money, but goes down for the count. meanwhile, the Shi'ar dispatch a new character, Korvus, who wields the Blade of the Phoenix (don't ask - just play SoulCalibur IV) and can track down the host of the Phoenix Force (currently Rachel). as you all know, the Shi'ar hate the Phoenix Force with a passion equal to their love of feathered helmets. Korvus slips into Xavier's ship, takes everybody down, except Rachel who bonds with the sliver of the Phoenix Force in his blade (don't take that figuratively, dirty minds! - maybe later). too late, the two sneaky Shi'ar take Xavier hostage and get away using Korvus' own ship ... with the inimitable Darwin in tow. Darwin, for those who don't keep up with Marvel's merry mutants, has the power of surviving - he can adapt himself to anything and you can't use the same tactic on him the second time. so the only way to defeat him is to kill him the first time around. wow, another near-omnipotent individual in the Marvel U. i'm at a loss how they haven't destroyed themselves by now.

Korvus, a contrived character whose sole reason for existence is to have a male romantic Romeo for Rachel - kidding! - helps them use their powers to use to bypass those pesky stargates, and find the - yes, of course, they'll be in this one - Starjammers, who are preparing for war. apparently, a coup de'tat has occurred in that time, as Chancellor Araki makes his move, takes Lilandra captive, and unleashes the biggest reversal of all Shi'ar-related X-Men stories - the resurrection of once-Emperor D'Ken! why?? because they KEN!!!

but wait, wasn't he Vulcan's target in the first place? hell, yeah - if you were forcibly ripped from his mom's womb and force-grown to become an adolescent slave, you'd certainly have issues. captured by the Imperial Guard, he's set up to meet Lilandra's sister Deathbird, imprisoned and hidden for years, as part of Araki's scheme to bring all the Shi'ar GOP party together again. Vulcan's hatred for D'Ken is tempered by the still-smolderingly sexy Deathbird, who understandably, has been without uhm, a male companion for a long time (hello, Bishop, how goes the baby-hunting?). Vulcan agrees to team up with the right-wing crowd up until his wedding to Deathbird, with the casual tossing of a captured Xavier into the M'Kraan Crystal as a digestif ...

... that's when all hell breaks loose as Lilandra's forces (including a former general - think Maximus in Gladiator, only much older) and the Starjammers crash the party. in the segue between the last two issues, two major characters bite the dust - and by only one hand (you can tell whose)! Lilandra would have made it the third, but as it turns out, this was a temporary reprieve. she sends a recovered Xavier (thanks to the crystal), Darwin, Warpath, Nightcrawler and a wrong-place-wrong-time Hepzibah back to Earth, especially to the latter's consternation (temporarily, as she would soon get over her grief by knocking boots with Warpath), before continuing the fight against the other half of her divided empire.

as fate would have it, Alex would become the new leader of the Starjammers, along with Lorna and Rachel and Korvus, joining holdovers Ch'od and Raza. current readers would know where this would all lead to.

with such an ambitious-sounding title, a 12-issue run should hold up, and Brubaker masterfully makes it so. this was artist Billy Tan's coming-out party, although he reminds me more of David Finch and a raw Michael Silvestri (there's that Top Cow influence and training) and there are times the characters have disproportionate limbs. i love Clayton Henry's three-issue contributions (the Vulcan parts). in light of the much-hailed Messiah CompleX (comprising a much wider X-cast), this one holds it own, and will be a joy to re-read for years to come (completists should have Deadly Genesis and Emperor Vulcan, and possibly War of Kings).

drive-by readings 022209

Thor #600 (Marvel) "Victory" J. Michael Straczynski Stan Lee Olivier Coipel Marko Djurdjevic Mark Morales Chris Eliopoulos Laura Martin Paul Mounts Christina Strain David Aja Matt Hollingsworth with reprinted material from Jack Kirby Vinnie Colletta Artie Simek

Thor celebrates his 600th issue with a bang - and banishment. Loki's subtle manipulations since he switched genders has now borne fruit and causes the Thunder God to leave Oklahoma, i mean Asgard. can you imagine beating up your grampa? man, that's sick. to wash off the bad taste, Chris Giarusso serves up a hilarious summary on everything that happened since this title's reboot. and Stan the Man hits us with a back-up story detailing Thor's relationship with mere mortals, illustrated by David Aja (whom we need drawing a lot more - please come back to Iron Fist). fun, fun, fun.


oh, and here's a cheer and toast to JMS for his Oscar-nominated Changeling. hope you win at least one of three.

how to beat Wolverine

how do you beat an adamantium-laced, practically immortal killing machine?


do you take his head off?




do you skewer him good?



do you stop the production of beer?



Mark Millar has the answer:

you make him kill everyone else.

continuing the Old Man Logan storyline, we learn how Wolverine lost his edge: an illusion cast by Mysterio had him going on a killing spree, believing the supervillains attacked the mansion en masse, but he was actually slaughtering the X-Men instead.

(i call a bit of BS on this. Emma would warn Cyclops and he'd take Logan's head off)


so in one clever stroke, Wolverine is removed as a threat and the apocalyptic future of the Marvel Universe is set into motion.

and that's how you do it.

"Logan ... am sorry i joined the New Warriors ..."

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Wolverine #70

cover of the week

Thor #11 by Oliver Coipel, Mark Morales and Laura Martin

nice touch on meeting the ghost of Steve Rogers.

who said what?

coordination can be a bitch.

just ask Tom Breevort, Bill Rosemann, or Brian Michael Bendis.

so what really happens when ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury (preparing an underground secret strike force against the Skrull invasion for years now) and Thunderbolts head Norman Osborn (otherwise known as the psychotic Green Goblin and chief of America's super secret police) bump into each other during the final battle between Earth's heroes/villains and the Skrulls?

unless they repeated this scene a second time, with Osborn holding a different gun each time. anybody angling for a No-Prize? what, they don't give those out anymore??


yeah, Osborn's going to be the next major crossover villain after next summer's War of Kings.
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Secret Invasion #7, Thunderbolts #125

promise?

unless it flew over your head, you are seeing the Big Three (with Uncle Nicky) challenging 'em dirty Skrulls for a throwdown.

if this battle isn't a twist and turn classic, i'll be the first to boo.

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Secret Invasion #6