if there's something strange, up in space ...

... who you gonna call?

BALLBUSTER!!!

 sorry, Abigail Brand may be a ballbuster, but you need to call the X-Men. i just needed to make something rhyme.

after mostly ignoring Joss Whedon's later-than-never-yet-deliciously-good Astonishing X-Men run, the X-writers co-opt it well, what with the return of Kitty Pryde (thank you, Magneto), and now an angle of what happened in Breakworld post-arm-breaking by Colossus. maybe there will be a resolution to Kitty's permanent phasing too?

Kieron Gillen, whose brief Thor run i did enjoy immensely, is off to good start.

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Uncanny X-Men #535

semi-kind of victory

drive-by readings

Thor #614 (Marvel) "The Fine Print Part 4" Kieron Gillen Doug Braithwaite John Rauch Andy Troy June Chung Joe Sabino Mico Suayan/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: Loki's treachery is revealed! Thor realizes the breadth and width of his half-brother's machinations, and with Loki not in Hel's books, he'll have a devil of a time putting him down next time. well, no one's going to learn from this anyway. soon, they'll be back welcoming him with open arms and mugfuls of mead.
oh shit moment: Thor stabbing Kelda (relax, its because Loki put malware in her to break the Asgardians' morale and as an added bonus, assassinate Balder). also when Thor gets the Eir-Gram free and cuts down the Disir - that's mythic.
what's next: get ready for more action, 'cause here comes Matt Fraction!


sometimes, just sometimes, you still need violence against women.

KG's Generation Hope

Keiron Gillen on Generation Hope, the X-Men's answer to Avengers Academy. i smell a fight, then a team-up. wait, if they're for rescue missions only, the Avengers-in-training will kick their butts. except if Hope loses her temper again ...

the devilish details

drive-by readings

Thor #612 (Marvel) "The Fine Print Part 2" Kieron Gillen Doug Braithwaite John Rauch Andy Troy Joe Sabino Mico Suayan/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: Thor and Tyr descend into Hela's (rented) realm to find out that they would need the Eir-Gram blade to control the Disir, and the blade has been placed in Mephisto's Hell. someone has to get it, and Tyr's not feeling up to the task (unmanly!). so, looks like Odin's favorite son is coming for the pickup.
oh shit moment: face-off between Thor and Mephisto. Thor just playing the grim-lipped god and holding back his anger. priceless.
what's next: will Thor ever know of Loki's deal with Mephisto? i want the Thunder God to beat it out of the devil.


"a simple request, Asgardian ... free tickets to your movie next year?"

basic instincts

drive-by readings

World War Hulks: Spider-Man vs Thor #2 (Marvel) Kieron Gillen Chris Eliopoulos Jorge Molina Paul Pelletier Ronan Cliquet Patrick Scherberger Scott Koblish Edgar Delgado Rachelle Rosenberg Chris Sotomayor Clayton Cowles Barry Kitson/Dave McCaig (variant cover)

what we learned: we learned that the Marvel brain trust is never exempt from capitalizing on mindless spinoffs that do not advance the plot of the main storyline whatsoever and will cook up any excuse for mindless pummeling between their characters. i guess Marvel vs Capcom or Ultimate Alliance is not enough.
oh shit moment: you did not just say the Smithsonian museums are boring. what are these, the flexing of the id? yeah, probably.
what's next: let's just have Hulk and Skaar kill each other once and for all. or make a pure Marvel-characters-only fighting game on all platforms with killer graphics and no plot at all.


sheeeeesh. even for Peter Parker, that's inane.

snaps: Ares #3

... where we learn choking your son to death is okay if the bastard attempts to have you drawn and quartered. Kieron Gillen's three-issue dissertation on the God of War ends satisfactorily from this point of view.

1) hey lookit, everyone, Ares is now an X-Man!!!


2) what, and get stabbed and decapitated by Deadpool?


3) Ares learns the true meaning of "in your face!"


4) and the room fell silent, awkwardly. the joke fell flatter than Kiera Knightley.



5) i bet you pee on yourself too. in the mirror.


6) okay, so where the hell did Ares get the coins to put on their eyes? he had spare change to take the subway, just in case?

Thor needs a spell-checker

the Karate Kid needs to have his annual eye checkup. wait, its not that Ralph Macchio.


-----
Thor #605

snaps: S.W.O.R.D. #1

what we learned in S.W.O.R.D. #1: (take note, this book is not by the Luna Brothers!)


1) Hank McCoy apparently evolved into a dog-like horse. or a horse-like dog. whatever. it's scary.


and not only that, his head apparently wants to challenge Modok in the 2010 "World's Biggest Head" Championship.


2) who needs Lou Dobbs, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity or Fox News? Henry Gyrich is HERE!!!


3) apparently, Mr. Freeze is imprisoned in the Peak as some sort of emphatic Googling machine.


4) Lockheed is a fucking drunk.


5) That being said, the bugger still cares for Kitty. yay! finally somebody's doing something about it. (no thanks to you, Joss Whedon.)

fall on your ...

Saving the World - Oh, Really Dude!!!

let's see .... Breakworlders, Skrulls, and lately some nasty humans bio-engineering mutants to kill mutants. that's a great record, Abby.

warbound

drive-by readings

Dark Avengers: Ares #1 (Marvel) Kieron Gillen Manuel Garcia Stefano Gaudiano Mark Pennington Jose Villarubia Dave Lanphear Cary Nord (cover)

bringing Ares full-time into the Marvel Universe this decade, first as a secondary Hercules character, then into a full-fledged major anti-hero, looks like a stroke of genius. though Hercules has long outshed his buffoon characteristic and brought in readers with his odd team-up with Amadeus Cho, Ares seemed to fit the "Greek God we should have in our midst" role much better. it doesn't matter that he's playing on both sides of the fence or he's making his own fence.

in another spinoff to ensure that the Marvel coffers will be full enough to make their Disney owners proud, Ares, "bestowing a petition to the mortal Osborn" forms his own special Corps within H.A.M.M.E.R. Osborn's throwing all sorts of skullduggery around to ensure that either Earth will be his or will be a crappy place to live in just in case he doesn't. to Ares, he probably doesn't care, as long as there's war to be waged on whoever.

i think when the tide finally turns against Osborn, he'll do something that would make Ares turn against him something probably involving his son, Phobos, who's under Nick Fury's care and tutelage (and also a member of his Secret Warriors). but in the meantime, Ares may have a bone to pick with Fury as he finds this out. but i'm not entirely sure it was actually Hera who told him that.

what am really looking forward to is ... Ares vs. Thor. yeah! c'mon! let's have that in Siege! please, Mr. Bendis?