because Batman Inc would sue you, duh.

"I was gonna say 'BatMite', dude!"

Peter and the Chicken, Marvel style

drive-by readings

Dark Wolverine #89 (Marvel) "Punishment Chapter 3" Daniel Way/Marjorie Liu Stephen Segovia/Paco Diaz Craig Yeung/Guillermo Ortega Antonio Fabela Cory Petit Simone Bianchi/Simone Peruzzi (cover)

what we learned: continuing the battle between the Wolverine brood versus Franken-Castle, Logan protects Daken due to a warped sense of honor and fatherhood for a jackass who wants his head on a stake anyway.
oh shit moment: you can feel the palpable glee of each character as they individually one up the other. but it feels like a parody because no one will really die. i mean, there shouldn't even be a Franken-Castle.
what's next: Daken gets the Bloodstone, Frank probably dies and gets reborn (yet again) and Logan wins Father of The Year.


Wolverine's the best at what he does - slicing fingers off.

A.S.S.

... means Anti Spider-Squad, or some shit. JJJameson really got some A.S.S.

and what the hell is this about???

and just like when Osborn took down the Skrull queen, denying our heroes the chance to get some payback, it looks like history's repeating itself.

the odds are this is just a reality-bending segment woven by those magical knitting bitches witches who like bringing down Ragnarok on our favorite Asgardians.

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Dark Wolverine #82

snaps: Dark Avengers Annual #1

... where Noh-Varr is shown to be a lot more needy than we thought.

1) guess who looks like a penis!! a Space Ghost Penis!!!


2) apparently, he's not really seeing the illegal aliens surrounding him, right, Lou Dobbs?


3) wait, shouldn't Noh-Varr be talking to Medusa or Crystal, not this Cthulthu-inspired know-it-all whose answer for evolution is to nuke his own people??


4) yes, and the best way to do that is to hang around with a hip and trendy NYU student!



5) so, he got saved from the time trap then? did Reborn end already? did the printing schedule fuck up again? hey, wait, that's the RED SKULL!!!

brand new ways to die

yeah - i mean, why not??

thanks to Bullseye's creativity (eat that, i-make-promises-i-can't-really-keep-so-my-wife-dumped-me Clint Barton!), we are treated to new methods of killing. they should make a History Channel documentary on this, or update it if they already had.

ever tried tossing Paris Hilton's poodle at someone? no? well, damn you better try it sometime. it could be fun.

next, we have Death by Corndogs!! don't tell the good folk at Nathan's and the Coney Island Boardwalk, or we'd have a massacre on our hands!

as for the comic, Brian Reed said it best: "What the Fuck is this Shit all about??"

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Sinister Spider-Man #4

drive-by readings: Dark Reign: Mr Negative #3

Dark Reign: Mr Negative #3 (Marvel) "Negative Reinforcement" Fred Van Lente Gianluca Gugliotta Ronda Pattison Andres Mossa Antonio Fabela Dave Lanphear Jae Lee/June Chung (cover)

the prolific Mr. Van Lente wraps up the Mr. Negative origin story, and the best of all, it all starts from my very first Spectacular Spider-Man issue (#64, the origin of Cloak and Dagger). it positions Mr. Negative in an ambiguous light, as he neither totally is with the good or the bad guys (although you would think he'd pick a better name, no?). the art is a bit lacking compared to the story, though i must admit i stared a lot longer at those panels with Betty Brant in fragrante delicto - umm, well you know. now imagine those panels in the hands of Frank Cho or Terry Dodson. that's all positive!