birdcage

drive-by readings

Hawkeye & Mockingbird #4 (Marvel) "Ghosts, Part 4: Unnatural Histories" Jim McCann David Lopez Alvaro Lopez Nathan Fairbairn Cory Petit Paul Renaud (cover)

what we learned: surviving Crossfire's attack, Clint and Bobbie hatch a plan to draw him and the new Ghost Rider to them. a night at the museum ensues and the couple lure their nemesis to the Nevada desert (thank God for that douchey Scientist Supreme!) to face the ghosts of their past.
oh shit moment: Hamilton Slade is back!
what's next: will Johnny Blaze and Danny Ketch show up too?


see, kids, you should still get an edu-kay-shun! temping at McDonald's ain't cutting it.

top kill

drive-by readings

Hawkeye & Mockingbird #3 (Marvel) "Ghosts, Part 3: Lex Talionis" Jim McCann David Lopez Alvaro Lopez Nathan Fairbairn Cory Petit Paul Renaud (cover)

what we learned: with her mother in critical condition, Bobbi goes on the hunt with Dominic Fortune and a pissed and confused Hawkeye in tow. despite the obvious makings of a trap, our intrepid couple fall into it anyway.
oh shit moment: explosions. with the villains walking away, Hollywood-style.
what's next: barbecued birds, anyone?


Darth Maul's leaning toward suing ...

target locked on

drive-by readings

Hawkeye & Mockingbird #2 (Marvel) "Ghosts Part 2: Rumors of Death" Jim McCann David Lopez Alvaro Lopez Nathan Fairbairn Cory Petit Paul Renaud (cover)

what we learned: bringing your ex-wife's mom to meet your ex-wife, when the former thinks she's dead, is a brilliant idea. oh, and of course Jim McCann mines the past i love when he brings back that rapist Ghost Rider - in the form of a descendant, of course.
oh shit moment: mother in law or ex-mother-in-law is no longer either, thanks to Crossfire.
what's next: Hawkeye in a Sky Cycle! versus Crossfire and Death Throws! its 1986 all over again!!


Clint can't kill Norman Osborn but he can make his mother-in-law slap his wife.

heroic snaps!

this week, we get sneak peeks on various books (characters) that would litter the Heroic Age, and we give them grades based on these shorts. all subjective, of course. that would be the indication of personal interest, of course.

"Admissions"
Christos N. Gage/Mike McKone/Jeromy Cox/Joe Caramagna

the first Avenger-in-training makes his appearance and he has the power of the Jurassic Park trilogy! Reptil, experimented on by H.A.M.M.E.R. (man, i hate paying taxes!!), is broken out by Avengers not asked to be on Avengers or Secret Avengers or New Avengers. hey, does this mean Hank and Tigra are gonna be an item? y'know, on account of Tigra having a baby Hank? what -? that was a Skrull?! when did that happen?? (B+)

25 mph? you're slower than molasses, kid.

"Heroes for the Ages"
Jeff Parker/Gabriel Hardman/Giancarlo Caracuzzo/Elizabeth Breitweiser/Ed Dukeshire

ok, i already said i just grabbed on the bumper of the bandwagon. geez. i just wonder what's wrong with this world that there's always something bad happening somewhere. even sunny Hawaii. (B)

i keep referring to him as Jimmy Choo.

"Coppélia"
Kelly Sue DeConnick/Jamie McKelvie/Matt Wilson/Nate Piekos

i don't think i need this to convince to follow the Black Widow's adventures, especially if drawn by Daniel Acuña. Natasha takes a break from Avenging (avenging who, really?) and goes back to the spy biz from time to time. and just in case nobody bothered to check Wikipedia, the title of the ballet directly correlates to the tiny dancer/weapon she breaks out here. (B-)

you hit like a girl! uh ... wait ...

"Big Trouble in Little Chinatown"
Jim McCann/David Lopez/Alvaro Lopez/Nathan Fairbairn/Cory Petit

my thanks to Jim McCann for opting for the freelance gig to at least continue scripting Hawkeye and Mockingbird. pretty much in Dark Reign, Clint Barton was all bluster and no muster. maybe this time he'll be doing something useful. and who is Bobbi talking to, you think? my bet is her old boss, Nick Fury. (A-)

how about porn? or two people, one cup?

"Top Dog"
Jeff Parker/Kevin Walker/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne

now that's a sneak peek! Parker lays some more groundwork which makes sense (ex-T-Bolts Fixer and Mach 5 redoing security, Osborn being frog-marched among inmates) and positions Cage (albeit in a telegraphed move) to draw the line and yet make his pitch. for reform. there's a new sheriff in town. (A)

"Thumb On The Pulse"
Kurt Busiek/Marko Djurdjevic/Jelena Djurdjevic/Dave Lanphear

is this Busiek's first Marvel work in years? can't remember. but its a familiar refreshing method, this time a take on Hitler-moustache-rocking, all-around-blowhard JJJ who for some reason is still mayor of NYC (Mitchell Hundred and Bloomy would laugh), and how he reacts to the Heroic Age. though it ends differently than you expected, well no, not really. (A)

a message in three panels - a fine collaboration between Busiek and Marko the Awesomeness

"A Date with The Doctor"
Rick Remender/Chris Samnee/Matthew Wilson/Dave Lanphear

while we won't be seeing a regular Doctor Strange, er ... Sorcerer Supreme book anytime soon, and maybe its better that way. is there a market for magic books? sure there is. but in this economy, this should work like Hellboy - a series here and there, but still building continuity. Dr. Voodoo can also make regular appearances all over the place, especially if writers handle him well like Remender. by the way, what did Steve Rogers ask Stephen Strange? and how come he didn't ask Dr. Voodoo? (B+)

uh, what did i miss? where's Monica?

"Diplomatic Incident"
Paul Cornell/Leonard Kirk/Paul Mounts/Dave Lanphear

this just reminded me why i miss the Cornell/Kirk duo on a Captain Britain/MI:13 book. oh wait, there could still be one in the future, right? and on that note, who else hasn't been offered Avengers membership? me, apparently! (B+)

that means Brian's not gonna sleep because it'll be 9 GMT to 5 PST job!

"N.Y. State of Mind"
Dan Slott/Ty Templeton/Jorge Maese/Dave Lanphear

and of course, Spider-Man, despite being a member of the Avengers and practically just a goddamned real frikkin' hero many times over, still gets shit from New Yorkers. ease up once in a while, fellas!! (B-)

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Enter the Heroic Age, Age of Heroes #1

heckling from the peanut gallery

the call to assemble has gone out again, and we the people, the huddled masses of collateral damage from disassembling, house of m-ing, civil warring, planet hulking, secret invading, and dark reigning, exercise our right to yell our opinion from the streets, as is our democratic right.

"Forge? whattayamean, Forge?? you're an X-Man mechanic now??"
"Captain America don't need no guns, and if he did, he'd have a MEU(SOC)!!"
"do you know that the Black Widow slept around with half the Marvel Universe?"




"yes, you better have no fear, 'cause you can't do anything right, schmuck!!!"
"Bullseye was more fun than you!!"
"you don't deserve Bobbi!!!"




"destiny? is that your stagename for your new career as a Vegas stripper?"
"boooooo!! Hydra sucks!!!"
"how do we know you're not a Skrull?!"





"oh yeah? did you defend that poor hamburger from Volstagg??"
"where were you when the Indonesia tsunami happened?"
"where were you when Haiti happened?"
"does this mean you should join the Defenders instead??"




"and we're gonna have nightmares because of it!!"
"you've been Sec-Def and head of S.H.I.E.L.D. - are you gonna run for President next?"
"who died and made you the dreamer of futures??"
"did you create Jersey Shore too??"



roll out the rest of 'em bums!!

-----
images from marvel.com

snaps: New Avengers Annual #3

... where the Epic Failure Known As Clint Barton is rescued by a bunch of chicks (the return of Jessica Jones to superheroing!). also, Norman Osborn needs to change the locks of his house now that the Red Skull is back. sorry, did i say Red Skull? i meant Steve Rogers. or whoever is inside that blue-eyed, blonde, all-American hunky body.

1) yes, make jokes. we need to change your codename to Fail.


2) also, do they really have the real Hawkeye in custody, or is that the Abominable Snowman?



3) they're just right there flying around Brooklyn, and you can't find them? bring back Tony Stark, ya loser!!


4) Carol washes the dishes .... with her gloves on (yeah, she's sensitive to Dawn).


5) the Red Skull wants you. to buy Siege. all four issues. and their 2nd and 3rd printings. and the variants. and the trade.

male Avengers are useless

first, they had to rescue Luke, now they have to do the same to Clint. the way this is going, Steve Rogers would rather be trapped in time. oh, wait, maybe the girls will save him too. [via CBR]

because your piece is on my list

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Avengers #1 (Marvel) Brian Michael Bendis Mark Djurdjevic Mark Morales Marte Gracia Joe Caramagna

ahhh! finally, the front row seat to see always-the-resident-hothead Clint Barton back up his word with action! and it just costs $3.99!

... and of course, you get what you pay for (no disrespect to BMB). if it only it were that easy to kill a sitting corrupt government official - they frown on vigilante justice around here. that's why we looked forward to what Clint was gonna do, after being disappointed with Frank.

and tossing Venmom, i mean Venom out the window, filling Bullseye with buckshot, perforating Daken's throat with an arrow, and standing off with your ex does not cut it. you gotta have follow through, Clint, you gotta have a plan, you gotta think 10 steps ahead. what would Steve Rogers say? i'd say nothing, but he's gonna smack you upside the head.


hey! where's the obligatory "Norman Osborn shoots someone in the head" closing scene?

promises, promises

Clint Barton, you better tell no lie. or else i will sell your sex tape with Natasha to TMZ!



remember this one from a year ago? did you even kill one single Skrull?



Brian Michael Bendis keeps painting Hawkeye (the original, natch!) as a vapid, huffing and puffing hothead (which he was, back in the day). at this point, people are watching and cheering the new Dark Avenger Hawkeye/Bullseye.

point taken

this is why Dark Reign is a much more intriguing "series" (more like an umbrella theme) than say, House of M, or World War Hulk, or even Secret Invasion. they were semi-contained stories to resolve an issue. but then again, we have all of that to thank, to be able to get to this point. Tony Stark now a "domestic terrorist"? how the mighty have fallen. Steve Rogers must be spinning and laughing in his grave.

Dark Reign somehow allows Marvel to fully explore the belly of the underworld beast, with characters we already know and hate (here's looking at you, Osborn). and the ascension of the bad guys wasn't a forced thing, not like a revised reality or time travel anomaly which needed to be corrected. the circumstances seem a bit over the top, and i can't believe Ben Urich is the only civilian questioning the whole thing (its like Fox News took over and everyone is drinking from their Kool Aid).

with a massive campaign of spinoffs and one-shots, Marvel is telling us 'hey, you don't need to buy it if you don't want to' (as is their usual line). i would like them to tell great stories and try to hit it out of the ballpark everytime and not just roll out spinoffs just for the sake of striking while the iron is hot.

Dark Reign: Hawkeye follows the 2nd most interesting Dark Avenger (yes, admittedly, i'd like to see the Iron Effin' Patriot get his comeuppance, after scheming and manipulating his way to eternity) - Bullseye. as we can see, donning Hawkeye's duds is the only thing he has in common with Clint Barton.

Bullseye is the real badass of the Marvel Universe, because he doesn't need a moral compass. even 'savage Wolverine' or 'Hand assassin Wolverine' is still deep down, Wolverine with a sliver of humanity. if Bullseye can kill you by looking at you, he would.

there's something delicious about solo Bullseye stories in this vein, pretty much like The Punisher/Garth Ennis reboot. Daniel Way hit the nail in recent memory (with Ennis co-conspirator Steve Dillon, no less) with Bullseye's Greatest Hits. Andy Diggle has moved seamlessly from Green Arrow to (Dark) Hawkeye, doing a complete 180 degree shift character-wise and it is so much fun. i have high hopes for this limited series. and i think Bullseye is gonna mess the whole gig up for Osborn.

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Dark Reign: Hawkeye #1

stop teasing me, Clint

once there was this circus performer whose talents in archery landed him on the wrong side of the law. falling in love with a Russian spy (and landing oh, around #135th on her list of conquests), he once mixed it up with an armored Avenger, which was fortuitous, as that made him walk the straight and narrow again.

having served the Avengers with distinction (which included challenging Captain America for control most of the time), he was rewarded by having him lead his own Avengers team over by the left coast. everything was sunny and coming up roses, not the least was having also found the love of his life. and then everything fell apart when his wife died. yeah, we couldn't believe it either.

rejoining his east coast buddies, he shocked everyone when he took over the Thunderbolts, an are-we-or-are-we-not group of villains trying to be heroes (well not at first). that meant hooking up with a lady villain (sounds familiar). when it got boring, where else would he run to except back with his fellow Avengers?

and that may have been a mistake, because he died when his teammate Wanda goes batshit insane and remakes reality. oh, at that time, he was being a pig, boning another teammate (who just died recently as a suicide bomber for those green shapeshifting aliens), and fantasizing about another lady villain named Viper. oh, and he actually died twice.

with his second resurrection at the hands of aforementioned insane teammate, he thanked her by ... yes, boning her too.

the recent invasion by also aforementioned green shapeshifting aliens messed with his psyche more than we know ... it turns out his dead wife was alive! and held captive all this time! but prior to learning that fact, he promised that every single green alien should die. he even made that promise while wearing the uniform and identity of yet another teammate (who's actually deaf) that he was ... yes, boning.

and oh, did he even shed a tear for Jan, now that Bobbie's back in his arms?

promises, promises.


we also haven't forgotten that YOU could have made the kill shot that would have taken down the Skrull Queen, yet you botched that simple task and now Norman Osborn is the man of the hour.


-----
New Avengers #49

Bernie Madoff flees from justice!

on your mark, get set ... no.

Fallen Son: Captain America
Jeph Loeb/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson
Marvel


three deep into the self-contained introspective stories after the death of Cap, Fallen Son: Captain America examines the effects on the long-lost Hawkeye (has there been any, any solid explanation at all how he came back from the dead? no? figures.). right off the bat, the moment he shows himself to Tony Stark, he gets sucker-punched.


Luke Skywalker needed S.H.I.E.L.D. treatment after getting raped by wampas


finding an opportunity to bring another hero to the fold, Tony nudges the always-impulsive Clint Barton into possibly donning the uniform and the Shield. after much screaming and scheming, Clint does agree. but only for a spin.

as i see it, Tony has a point, but its difficult to roll out a new symbol of the American Dream, especially if the previous one had size 25 ones. even one who could capably fill them admirably. why not roll out an armored Captain America robot, Tony? that could assuage your guilt. but nah, it wouldn't work.









we get teased by what could be when Clint shows up in full costume, accompanying Tony to stop two renegade teenage heroes, the Patriot (grandson of the black Cap, Isaiah Bradley), and "Hawkeye" (Kate Bishop, whose costumed identity was offered to her by Cap himself, after Clint's disappearance.

of course, the black guy starts cussing. i mean, how typical is that, Jeph Loeb?

after listening to them (and enduring a skirt costume joke), Hawkeye/Cap lets the two go, to Tony's consternation (his record in attempting to capture the renegade Avengers is now 0-12). they have a final discussion, again putting Tony's sterling reputation in the mud.

reminds me of that time when all Avengers got to live in Camelot-ian times, courtesy of Morgan Le Fey's magic tricks (thank you, Kurt Busiek!), with Hawkeye trying to convince Iron Man to see it from the point of view of the regular guys, but gets dissed.

by the way, with Hawkeye being the latest, how many Cap substitutes has Marvel tossed out there already? actually, the whole exercise is fun, pitting fanboy against fanboy, with their own frothy opinions on who could be the next.

here's Frank Castle, a.k.a. The Punisher, going up against super neocons in the Punisher War Journal.

America ... Fuck Yeah!

this is MVP (Michael Van Patrick) a sort of super athlete with perfect genes (revealed to be the grandson of the inventor of the original Super Soldier serum injected into Steve Rogers). too bad he got killed in the first training mission in Avengers: The Initiative. God who knows whose keeping a sample of his DNA right now, for future use? as maverick/hack auteur Carlo J. Caparas would say, "God Save Us!"

this is what they mean when they say you need it like you need a hole in your head

and we still haven't gotten into the reborn Bucky Barnes yet (a.k.a. the Winter Soldier, a.k.a. Captain America's Boy Toy), who, as per Captain America #26, wants to whack Tony Stark.

speaking of Tony, i think he had a quick fling with Katie Couric, she of the $15 million salary and falling ratings, with his inclusion of colonoscopy in standard physical exams of suspects.

so far, the Fallen Son series has been an enjoyable one, and i'm looking forward to the last two (Spider-Man and Iron Man).