Bruce Wayne is gonna sue

... for swiping his interior designer, bitches!!!

by the way, is there a poor, destitute X-Man? if so, Utopia provides all the benefits and freebies in life, no? including premium health care (thank God for Elixir!!).

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Wolverine: Road to Hell one-shot

dark side of the moon

drive-by readings

Shadowland: Moon Knight #1 (Marvel) "Shadowknight" Gregg Hurwitz Bong Dazo Jose Pimentel Matt Milla/Chris Sotomayor Joe Caramagna

what we learned: its too much to put in one issue, but anyway, Daredevil apparently "wants" Moon Knight (who's just minding his own business; its Daredevil's fault he didn't accept Avengers membership), so he puts into motion an alleged acolyte of Konshu to recruit another psycho to be the god's avatar. bad news for Jake/Steve/whoever he is this week, because he has to face this challenge but at the same time consider that Marlene is pregnant and they're engaged.
oh shit moment: did i just say he has to protect his back?
what's next: crazy versus crazy. i'll bet on crazier.


never get on Big Bird's bad side - Sesame Street will never be the same.

begging to be taken out of context

i mean, ummm, really? this couldn't be drawn in a different way?

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World War Hulks: Captain America & Wolverine #2

it does not compute.

drive-by readings

Wolverine: Weapon X #15 (Marvel) "Tomorrow Dies Today - Conclusion" Jason Aaron Ron Garney Jason Keith Matt Milla Cory Petit Garney/Chris Sotomayor (cover)

what we learned: i'm still a little doozy. so bad Deathloks from future go back to the past to kill a number of people, one of which is Miranda Bayer, who's part of the future resistance. she's also their agent in the present, and in holding one child hostage (said child set to grow up to be the same Deathlok about to kill her), she brings about the conversion of the Deathlok to find its own humanity. it certainly is ambitious as it gets, but somewhere along the way to this ending, we all got our heads slapped upside down.
oh shit moment: the head of the future resistance - is the same Deathlok who got humanized.
what's next: Kurt lives! no, not Cobain.


machines get personality disorders too.

basic instincts

drive-by readings

World War Hulks: Spider-Man vs Thor #2 (Marvel) Kieron Gillen Chris Eliopoulos Jorge Molina Paul Pelletier Ronan Cliquet Patrick Scherberger Scott Koblish Edgar Delgado Rachelle Rosenberg Chris Sotomayor Clayton Cowles Barry Kitson/Dave McCaig (variant cover)

what we learned: we learned that the Marvel brain trust is never exempt from capitalizing on mindless spinoffs that do not advance the plot of the main storyline whatsoever and will cook up any excuse for mindless pummeling between their characters. i guess Marvel vs Capcom or Ultimate Alliance is not enough.
oh shit moment: you did not just say the Smithsonian museums are boring. what are these, the flexing of the id? yeah, probably.
what's next: let's just have Hulk and Skaar kill each other once and for all. or make a pure Marvel-characters-only fighting game on all platforms with killer graphics and no plot at all.


sheeeeesh. even for Peter Parker, that's inane.

full circle, part 2

drive-by readings

The Heroic Age: Uncanny X-Men one-shot (Marvel) Matt Fraction Whilce Portacio Ed Tadeo Brian Reber Steve Sanders Jaime Mendoza Ian Hannin Jamie McKelvie Chris Sotomayor Joe Caramagna Mark Brooks (cover)

i see this one-shot as something akin to a look at the past, present and future for our merry band of mutants. with the onset of the Heroic Age, the defeat of one of their most dangerous enemies, and the possible rebooting of their race, the X-Men stand once again at the crossroads, free to rewrite the next chapter of their destiny.

the X-Men's present is Cyclops, who has made steely yet carefully weighed decisions that may have cost him his friends and reputation, that have saved his race from extinction. imagine if he quit after Jeannie's death (and she didn't go back and prod him to marry Emma and continue with the school)? there's no better leader suited to shepherd the X-Men than him, but that's for this moment. Professor X and Magneto have bowed to his wishes, not always freely, but have also made sacrifices to somehow earn his trust. Scott was angry at Charles once for not treating the sentient Danger as an equal, and for living fast and loose with their lives with his decisions. somehow, he hasn't gotten the same vitriol from Charles or Magneto (who likely understands making the hard choice even better), their former mentors. i would say its Scott's age, which is closer to majority of the adults of the X-Men (and the younger generation), that makes them a lot more receptive to his decisions, compared to the father figures Charles and Magneto once were, even bordering on the tyrannical.

but he has not been spared that disapproval from Hank McCoy, longtime friend and comrade in the trenches (and to a degree, Storm). Hank does represent the old school, and not a few us remember when he wasn't blue and furry. his own decision to leave the fold makes him representative of the past, because he didn't want to be part of the new X world order, which he says is more militaristic. wait till he gets a load of the new X-Force - it'll make the last X-Force iteration look like the cute animals from Pet Avengers. and considering his parting words "make love, not war, Scott" (Matt Fraction, you is a hippie!), this seems disingenuous as he is waging war as a member of the Secret Avengers. in keeping with his scientific beliefs, he no longer has faith that the mutant race will blossom like it used to, despite urging from the cute-as-a-button Molly Hayes.

the future, meanwhile, belongs to the appropriately-named Hope (now i don't remember who named her? was it Cyclops or Cable?). here we see here being tested by Reed Richards as a time-transplant, though she was born in this time anyway. lacking the normal experience of a child growing up, its fun to see her awkwardly interact with her peers, like Franklin Richards, who, frankly, with all his powers, should also be in the frontline for mutant rights and defense. maybe the powers-that-be just don't want to remember Heroes Reborn. anyway, Hope, a fine doppelganger of Jeannie (imagine the torment Emma would be going thru everyday as a reminder), wants to find her birth parents in Alaska (Sarah Palin?). this is a good start and Cyclops, realizing that he may be making the mistake of putting the weight of expectations on people, gives her his blessings and a chaperone squad.

its been a long, long time since House of M/Decimation. i hope the next storylines do not involve the exhausting theme of mutant extermination, because am goddamned tired, despite the real-world analogy of the subject.

snaps: X-Men - Blind Science

... where the X-Men Science Team goes off on an adventure on their own (but not of their own volition) due to a ticking bomb on an oil rig they're investigating. Dr. Nemesis steals every frikkin' scene, but in the end it was Dr. Kavita Rao who saves the day (Cecilia Reyes is probably gouging her own eyes right now). Hank McCoy who?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Dr. McCoy, I presume? (okay, i thought it was Forge)


this confirms it: Chinese restaurants use CAT MEAT!!! spread the word!!!


there should be an X-Club limited series, with lots of crotch-punching!


okay, one more Star Trek reference and you've exceeded your quota, Nemesis!


who needs Professor Xavier, when we have James Bradley?

Red Hulk is a redneck!

oh-HO-HO, Jeph Loeb, you did not!!!



so i was partly right. it was a red herring. i had my money on Glenn Talbot somehow.

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Hulk #22

he's a lady!!

Thor is, according to Hulk.

and oh, Internet? please enlighten me. since when was the Hulk deemed worthy of lifting or carrying Mjolnir? unless this was Clor?

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Hulk: Let The Battle Begin

back to the future

drive-by readings

Avengers vs Agents of Atlas #1 (Marvel) "Earth's Mightiest Super Heroes"/"Defender of the Deep" Jeff Parker Gabriel Hardman Elizabeth Breitweiser Tom Orzechowki Takeshi Miyazawa Chris Sotomayor Joe Sabino Humberto Ramos/Ed Delgado (cover) we had them teaming up with the X-Men, now we get them with the Avengers. everyone's favorite retro team gets lots of guest bookings (now also appearing in Thunderbolts), despite the cancellation of their book. i was thinking this was going to be a time travel thing considering the cover. as it turns out, it is but in reverse: a time/space anomaly has converted the present day (real) Avengers into their '60s incarnation, giving them the opportunity to catch up with old times with the Atlas people. it may be similar to Avengers/Invaders but i assume Jeff Parker has tricks to wow us. there's also a backup story that would serve as a lesson to kids who intend to take up whale-hunting as a career.

snaps: New Mutants #9

... where i can't still figure out how Shaun Cassidy Doug Ramsey came back from the dead. i mean, the dead get reanimated from Eli Bard's techno-organic virus but basically they're still dead, right? if its just a matter of purging the virus, then all the DEAD mutants in the world WOULD ALREADY BE ALIVE AND WELL AND SINK UTOPIA BY NOW BECAUSE OF THEIR COMBINED WEIGHT!!!!

ok, on to this issue. apparently, some gun-toting spawns of Limbo a la Doom have arrived to kill everyone and only Illyana ... excuse me, Illyana 2.0 knows about this because she travelled back in time to warn the X-Men. so basically, Pete, that's your soulless sister, not the one you grew up with in the Russian collective.

oh, and Shaun Cassidy Doug Ramsey, who basically would thrive in our digital world (the main reason why he would make sense more alive than dead, continuity and Chris Claremont be damned), is slowly being accepted by his former friends. although after he was told to fuck off by that classy Brazilian Bobby Da Costa.

in binary, that's 000101000110101 0101010101010001111!!


RIAA alert!!! someone's gonna get suuuuuuuuueeeed!!


Sam's trying to be cool, but Amara's that hot. check out his eyes.



what the hell - doing it with her mentor's son beside her lover's dead body? what a bitch!!


wow. humble much?


lookit, their targets' profile pics are actual panels in this same comic!!!

Fury's 11

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Secret Warriors one shot (Marvel) "Leviathan" Jonathan Hickman Ed McGuinness Chris Sotomayor Dave Lanphear Tom Palmer McGuinness/Dexter Vines/John Rauch (cover)

should we still call them "Secret Warriors"? Nick Fury practically operates in the open these days (to the chagrin of Contessa LaFontaine), and he has two teams already at his disposal - his Warriors, and the reborn/reconstructed Howling Commandos. all he needs is a YouTube channel and a Twitter page.

so breaking in Avengers tower (with some help from Ares - what, is he another Fury plant, that kind of trick that beats us over our head with "hey-am-20-steps-ahead-of-everyone-else"? NO. we have to read Secret Warriors #9 on sale 10/28/2009. whooopeee.) and appearing in your current enemy's bedroom (creepy - why can't he just call? what if Norman had a date?), smacks of not-so-secret for me. and for what? to steal something under H.A.M.M.E.R.'s nose. that really paints that target on you, Nicky Boy.

and that something actually tells us that ... oh hey, is the Zodiac in this gig? and Nick is Gemini? oh yeah, he was, years back. 'cause his dead brother Jake was Scorpio. or is. i smell resurrection!!!!

by the way, Norman, a couple of things:

everyone seems to be penetrating the Tower these days ... change the goddamn locks. or go live on the moon.

let me just present your fandangled "list":
- neutralize Clint Barton
- eliminate Daredevil
- kill Namor
- kill Frank Castle
- kill Nick Fury
- neutralize Bruce Banner
- control the world
- kill Spider-Man

that's just 1 out of 8 so far (Barton, you hotheaded punk, you never change). Frank's probably smug he's on the list. i don't see Tony Stark in there. he's probably dead. or dumb as a rock.

only Santa has a list that works.

the ultimate Hulk vs Wolverine

drive-by readings

Giant Size Wolverine: Old Man Logan (Marvel) "Old Man Logan: Conclusion" Mark Millar Steve McNiven Dexter Vines Mark Morales Morry Hollowell Cory Petit Paolo Rivera/Ed McGuinness/Chris Sotomayor (variant covers)

so it ends. i thought this would come out in 2010. providing a much more satisfying conclusion than the rightfully-maligned Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk, Mark Millar pulls out all the stops (ass jokes about the cover aside, heh) with his Civil War cohorts and bangs out the final confrontation between a not-really-old Wolverine and the surprisingly redneck (greennecks?) and inbred Banner Gang (who live in RVs. huh.).

actually, am not totally blown away with Millar writes anymore (after Kick-Ass, everything gets bloody anyway) - which is why am waiting to be really knocked off my feet by Ultimate Avengers. Steve McNiven, obviously drawing from a cinematic script, is his usual gorgeous self, albeit simplistic generally yet detailed in close ups.

having done his patriotic duty, Logan goes home to settle personal debts, as his family has been wiped out by the Banner Gang. the theme of Western style justice is prevalent here, crossed with those hillbillies from Deliverance. there is a twist of course, plus another which really isn't. i mean, destroying one from within isn't a new trick in the book, and the Hulk could've bitten Logan's head off first (there, i spoiled it for you. sue me.). lesson: do not be greedy, just like those people my friend Matt rants about.

so is this the end? judging by the way Logan rides off into the sunset ... you'd think it is. but maybe it isn't. especially if its gonna sell (2007-09 House of M spinoffs, anyone?)

how green is your monkey?

damn, we need more Todd Nauck!



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Marvel Apes: Prime Eight #1

cover of the week

G.I. Joe #0 by Robert Atkins & Chris Sotomayor


and my bet for a future winner ...

back to the future

what th-?!

i say again:

what th-!?!

the New Mutants were good.

Generation X, fine.

Academy X ... New X-Men ... o-kay.

didn't they just recently launch Young X-Men?

with all due respect to Chris Claremont, sir ... is this some kind of deal with the powers-that-be that they keep giving you sandboxes to play in?

since Mr. Claremont's direct access to the characters (in-continuity) he developed in his stellar career (meaning, the core cast of X-Men) has been virtually diminishing, he's stuck doing X-projects that are don't feature the core team (New Excalibur), set in the future or some alternative futures (Exiles, X-Men: The End and this one). i wonder if that's some kind of direct effect of butting heads in the past with the head honchos (hello, Bob Harras) or worse ... he's (gasp!) lost it. and they know it.

this title has been reportedly slated to launch a couple of years ago, but due to health reasons for Mr. Claremont, had been shelved in the meantime. a lot has happened since, and i don't really see the relevance of another 'new kids on the block' title in the always-saturated mutant market (Decimation notwithstanding).

so, what have we got? instead of new characters, we have the spawn of characters that Mr. Claremont is more familiar with, and he intends to build intrigue and drama around them.

Becka Munroe ... daughter of Storm and some ... Savage Land mutate. really. does the Black Panther know about this?? what th-?!

she has claws and fangs and is a kind of a cross between Storm, Feral and a vampire from Humberto Ramos' Crimson.

Pavel Rasputin, grandson of Petey. if we go by this theory, Cyclops' grandchild would also have destructive eyebeams and Jubilee's granddaughter would also be popping fireworks. hy-eahh.

look, he's a dead ringer for the Colossus in the Age of Apocalypse. plus age-wise, Becka would actually be his auntie.

Olivier Raven ... son of Rogue and Gambit (oh, so they finally had sex!!!). but he has Cable's eye, doesn't he? tongues are a-wagging.

he's a telepath (Cable!!!) and absorbs memories too, like his mom. we're not sure if he cooks a mean gumbo or is a cool cardshark, like his dad.

Rico ... son of TBD. can turn things invisible, and is an enigma shrouded in mystery and wrapped in secrecy. if you still don't get it, i don't know what else i can tell you.


No-Name ... now that's even worse. no names, no data.


GeNext is Claremont's version of what the X-Men would have been if they aged in real-time (and Claremont never left $#%@#*&^!@ - i think he's still pissed about that). but this would make more sense years ago.

and then they all get killed off by issue #12.

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GeNext #1
"Where Do We Go From Here?"
Chris Claremont/Patrick Scherberger/Norman Lee/Chris Sotomayor/Ed Dukeshire