snaps: Avengers The Origin #3

... where the Hulk joins the circus, and pretends to be a robot. then gets punked by ants. and then faces off against a wasp and another ant. and a tin man. meanwhile, Thor goes back to Asgard to open a can of whup-ass on Loki.

you mean this world?


and what are you implying, Reed? WHAT??


stop the presses!! Jan actually knows more words than "fashion" and "cute"?


no? well, how about from a cowardly lion? or a brainless scarecrow?


if you're scared of clowns, this is much, much worse.


see, kids ... this is why we shot him to outer space ...

remember when Ant Man was morally-challenged?

/oh wait ... he still is.

the light is green

World War Hulk sightings:

the scum known as Ant-Man has been swallowed by the Hulk. well, actually Ant-Man wanted to take the Hulk down from within. turns out he can't. so he settles for other extra-curricular activities.

i'm not even gonna think about that Red Zone deodorant in Holku's stomach.

pretty soon, Eric's karma comes back and slaps him upside the head. yaaaaaaaaaaay.

i'm all for Mitch shooting O'Grady right then and there. but there's something compelling about extending this story for awhile. its like watching a dangerous animal go about its business - you have to kill it now but somehow you're fascinated. until it bites you in the ass. its not everyday that you get stories within the Marvel Universe that deal with the people in between - kinda like Frontline but more fun and grating and gleefully annoying all at the same time.

let me ask you: is that General T-Bolt Ross' tongue, or his lower lip is just too protruding?

the respected Dr. Bruce Banner, a milksop? no waaaaaaaaaay. say, General, isn't that your Army being torn to pieces right now?

another old nemesis, General John Stryker (ambitious soldiers probably change their names when they know they can make it to the top - i mean does "Colonel Rudy Gay" or "General Stewie Ottum" sound badass to you?) has put-together, secretly of course, a team of Hulkbusters (a bunch of Gamma-powered nutcases). why? because he knew that the Hulk would be shot into space and would come back soon enough. yeah, sure.

whatever reasons Stryker had then for trying to capture the Hulk (to study him and use the knowledge to heal his cancer-stricken wife Lucy), there's none of them now as Stryker is a fugitive (a rich and connected one, nonetheless) and only his proposition to solve the Hulk problem saves him from a S.H.I.E.L.D. prison.

leading the team is someone with ties to the Hulk as well - the late Glenn Talbot's bro, Brian. and to shock us readers, he's called Grey and he's actually grey (a nod, of course, to the Hulk's very first incarnation). but he looks Mexican to me.

we've been promised by the head honchos during the NYCC that the Gamma Corps are supposed to be really hardcore, badass individuals (which is why they had - cough, cough - tough guy Frank Tieri writing it). we'll see. i want to see dead people, people. dead, i say.

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The Irredeemable Ant-Man #10
Robert Kirkman/Phil Hester
World War Hulk: Gamma Corps #1
Frank Tieri/Carlos Ferreira/Sandu Florea

iHaul (Wk 15)

a sampling from last week.

	a blast from the past indeed! i owned the first issue of Marvel's adaptation of Kipling's The Jungle Book (with that gorgeous Russell cover shown on the left), but i never got to see how they finished it. although opening it a few days ago, i couldn't help but hear "Bare Necessities" as sung by Baloo the Bear in the '67 Disney film (i also had the soundtrack record, sorry). this isn't a dumbed-down version. with the mag's recent revival, this means happy times ahead!
Marvel Illustrated: The Jungle Book	Gil Kane/Jo Duffy P Craig Russell
contrary to reports, Wolverine was born in India

	you know the feeling you get when you watch a movie, and the actor playing the villain is someone you really, really hate? or at least you start hating the character so much because of the actor's portrayal? and you're foaming at the mouth, and bile is dripping off your tongue? that's how i feel right now with Eric O'Grady, the jerk who's running around in the Ant-Man costume. i want to kill him. not because he gets to peep in womens' showers. just because. if i feel this way, that means Robert Kirkman is yanking my chains good. damn you, Kirkman!
The Irredeemable Ant-Man #7	Robert Kirkman/Cory Walker
that's it; Homeland Security is a farce!

	Extremis notwithstanding, i don't see Tony Stark being able to do a outstanding job managing S.H.I.E.L.D. as Dum-Dum already points out. but the man can't help himself - he has to make a choice sooner or later: move the chess pieces around or do the damn job himself. and we all know we'd rather have him do the job himself. especially if the Mandarin gets back into the thick of things. but just thinking out loud: i know he's a classic villain and all, but isn't it time for new things?
Iron Man #16	Daniel/Charles Knauf, Roberto De la Torre, Jonathan Sibal
"no, fool. i am The Fookien. or was it The Cantonese? wait ..."

	bad enough that there is an Amazo, they had to create a child too. why don't they just create millions of Amazos? or weren't they called OMACs? wait, that would be too easy. this Amazo Jr doesn't even know its a robot. and he even goes against his programming. oh the irony (pun intended)! so what's the JLA to do if he refuses to be bad? why, we'll see in the next 4 issues of course. these things do not end with a simple $2.99.
JLA Classified #37	Peter Milligan, Carlos D'Anda
how I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

	on the release of Nova #1: (emphatic expression of relief!) on his 24/7 spacecop duty: (vulgar euphemism!) on his amazing powers and his supercomputer 'sidekick': (expression of amazement with overtone of disbelief) on his encounter with more Annihilation bugs: (guttural shriek of abject terror!) on the fact he just crash-landed back on Earth and is about to go against S.H.I.E.L.D. and Iron Man: (vulgar oath!) (vulgar oath!) (vulgar oath!) sorry, you had to read it.
Nova #1	Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning, Sean Chen, Scott Hanna
how can they get your point if they're 'dead'?

	this is the original space cop, Nova. take notes. you'll need it. but wait, he has some girl problems. yeah, you could learn from that too. GL always had this hate/love/hate relationship with Star Sapphire. or whoever that girl was. anyway, the Sapphire gem possesses Hal's ex Carol Ferris (for the nth time) but quickly abandons her for Cowgirl (who?), whom Hal has some affection for. we can't blame Hal for feeling like Michael Douglas, but hey, doesn't anyone want a threesome at some point in their lives? ok, forget i asked.
Green Lantern #18	Geoff Johns, Daniel Acuna
Hal Jordan shows what he learned in the afterlife

tiny toons

The Irredeemable Ant-Man
Robert Kirkman/Phil Hester/Ande Parks
Marvel


i don't know what rock Robert Kirkman crawled out under from, but i hope there's more like him underneath that rock (the answer: it's one of the U.S. states called "Kentucky").

with an impressive (short but growing) list of works, some i have read (Marvel Zombies, the uproarious and mos def offensive Battle Pope) and some yet-to-be (Invincible), Kirkman's career is on the upswing. not bad for a parody writer.

his comedic touch opened a few doors, and one of his latest works, the Irredeemable Ant-Man, is one worth walking inside.

spinning off from the ongoing Marvel multi-crossover series Civil War, the new Ant-Man makes his first appearance sitting on a rooftop eating some crumbs while our heroes are slugging it out on the streets below.


backstory #1: the Ant-Man character has always been Henry Pym. a second Ant-Man, Scott Lang, was killed in battle in a previous storyline Avengers Disassembled. currently, Pym has taken on the Yellowjacket persona, and was tasked to build a new Ant-Man suit for S.H.I.E.L.D. (that's the mouthful Strategic Hazard Intervention, Espionage and Logistics Directorate, Marvel's own fictional superspy agency). S.H.I.E.L.D. has this supercool Helicarrier (think oversized aircraft carrier, but flying) where they work, eat and protect the world.

the tale begins when two S.H.I.E.L.D. rookies, Eric O'Grady and Chris McCarthy are ordered by their supervisor, Mitch Carson, to guard Pym's lab. pressured by the vague scope of their assignment, Eric accidentally knocks out Pym and then the two fool around with the prototype Ant-Man suit. Chris wears the suit and accidentally shrinks. Eric runs away. despite being BFFs, Eric is of questionable character, but Chris sticks by him just the same.


Chris tries to figure out how the suit works and in between crawling through vents, trying to find something to eat ...

where's the chianti?

... and running (the HeliCarrier gets attacked by supervillains) ...


... and fighting ... (or a semblance thereof) ...


... he accidentally witnesses Eric stabbing him in the back. Veronica, a coworker Eric has the hots for, is actually dating Chris. Eric doesn't take this like a man, and takes advantage of every opening he can find to grab Veronica.


oh the lies we tell ...

devastated, Chris makes his way back to their quarters, and the cowardly Eric attacks him with deadly footwear.


as this happens, the attack is still going on, and the two have to abandon their hiding place. Eric then gets Chris killed when he intentionally beats him to the door.

that's why you're always required to wear a helmet

you know where this is going, don't you? Eric takes the Ant-Man suit and thus becomes the headliner of this title.

with a bunch of well-crafted lies, Eric takes Chris' body back to his parents, along with Veronica, and even almost gets her in the sack - at Chris' funeral, no less (thank goodness for common sense!).


taking the suit out for test spins, the slimeball manages to meet a girl, Beth, whom he saves from a mugging, and his one-track mind starts shifting into gear.

"i just ... tee hee ... peed in it."


the jackass even thinks he can cop a free meal, and other freebies, just for his one act of 'kindness'.



as the series progresses, it becomes clear that Eric O'Grady is the poster boy for dastardly behavior. he does a few good deeds along the way, but only with the intent to gain something more in return. and it won't be surprising that he'd sell even his own parents to get what he wants. too bad he doesn't have parents. ok, he'd sell Chris' parents.

it really sucks when your company doesn't have a dental plan

not getting anywhere with Veronica, Eric decides to "live" with Beth, and enjoys the "fringe benefits" (this has probably been a Kirkman fantasy come true).

to see the whole caboodle ... buy the book, dammit!

Eric better not rest on his laurels, 'cause his old supervisor Mitch is looking for him.

a flying car! what will they think of next?

Kirkman has something going on here, providing a new spin to the anti-hero concept. Hester's semi-cartoony art reminds me of Pasqual Ferry, and fits the goofy yet meaty yarns spun by Kirkman.

so, hero or not?


that opinion might not be shared by his DC counterpart ...
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issues read: #1-3


The All New Atom
Gail Simone/John Byrne/Eddy Barrows/Ariel Olivetti/Trevor Scott
DC


bouncing off the events in the Identity Crisis storyline, it's impossible to think of the DC universe without its bite-sized hero. given how things ended, it was difficult to bring the character back without a really good explanation. the best solution is to break in a new Atom.

backstory #2: Ray Palmer has always been the Atom since 1961 (that would put him in his late 60's now but comic time doesn't work that way). an Ivy League professor, an integral member of the Justice League and probably the smartest man in this universe (don't tell Batman. or Luthor. or Deathstroke. or Vandal Savage.), Ray was the geek whose heroic fantasies came true. but with a heavy price: his wife, Jean Loring, went off the deep end and set off catastrophic events that made Ray so ashamed he literally ... disappeared.

enter, FOB (from HK) ... Ryan Choi.


a Palmer protege, Ryan arrives to take over Ray's seat in Ivy University. despite misgivings by the much older dean, he acknowledges that the young Dr. Choi has been personally endorsed by Ray prior to these events.


with Ray's apparent blessing (off panel) and clues provided in his office, Ryan finds one of his bio-belts, the device that gives Ray his superpowers.


despite being a fish out of water in his new American surroundings, Ryan quickly makes fast friends with the Lighter Than Air Society (LTAS), a collection of academic oddballs/geniuses who hold Ray in high regard. one of them, Dr. 'Panda' Potter, instantly becomes his university guide and best friend.


familiar with Ray's superhero career, the LTAS wholeheartedly support Ryan's ascension to the position, impressed with his smarts and quick-thinking.

... fashion-challenged?

aside from playing poker and trading scientific gobbledygook with his new pals, Ryan finds time to play with furry creatures ...

Ryan thought he was joining the Rat Patrol

... refining his bag of parlor tricks ...

"geez, Ryan ... we just told you: shrink before you fart!"

... and stimulating the female population.



the troubles start when weird things happen in Ivy Town, starting with the mysterious murder of Ryan's interim predecessor Professor Katz ... by dogs? an itinerant seems to have knowledge of the "beast below us", and then disappears.

here Gail Simone's (Birds of Prey) plot gets a little fuzzy. we have two warring factions: the Waiting, which are forces of Science ...

are you sure they didn't come from China too?

... and M'Nagalah, the "Cancer God", which seems to be on the side of one of Superman's weaknesses - magic (you know the answer wasn't kryptonite, Lois Lane, or shaving cream, right? right?).


this bizarre cast seem to be battling for the support of Ryan, as the Atom, although their respective presence in the town is as yet unexplained. The Waiting, for example, seems to reside in the fur of the dogs and ultimately have the Justice League in their sights.

you know Ryan digs that shit ... he's Asian!

to make things worse, another mysterious villain has recruited a serial killer/poet to make the new Atom's life miserable. or at least to be on "their" side in "the coming war". and they have a bio-belt too.


the worst part is: his first date (turns out to be Giganta) swallows him (okay, that didn't come out right. okay, shutting up now.). infected by the M'Nagalah, she ingests Ryan, and he has to play a little tummy pinball to escape.


this sequence should make you stop dating. seriously.

while we're here, let's throw in a couple more comedic scenes.

umm, i'll take "udders for lengthy viewing" for $500, Alex.


"damn! repeat after me: shrinking after the eat-all-you-can buffet is bad!"

question: given his dork background (and despite some martial arts training back in Hong Kong), when did Ryan suddenly become the second coming of Dick Grayson, original acrobatic sidekick to the Batman?

feet, meet face

in the meantime, Ryan's dorkier pals have invented a time-travelling device, based on his specs and an alien device he lifted from the Waiting.

this better be as exciting as the Bang Bus

issue #4 (drawn by Eddy Barrows, whom i prefer compared to increasingly-shoddy work of the legendary John Byrne) leaves us hanging with the dean wanting Ryan to leave, because Ray Palmer's legacy has come again full circle, and he prefers Ryan alive than dead. we also see the serial killer, properly known as Dwarfstar, skulking in the shadows and planning more misdeeds. given all these things stacked against you, you'd throw in the trowel. but some people like Ryan, after tasting the rush of adrenaline and superheroics (despite his doubts), can't. means i gotta follow suit.

what he said.
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issues read: #1-4