snaps: Ms. Marvel #50

... where we say goodbye to Carol's almost 4 year series run, by celebrating with a punch up with the original Captain Mar-vell. ok, no its not the original joe, but the 96th one. heh. and ends up with the requisite "where do i go from here" talk with casual date Spider-Man. and she ends up morphing into an exotic Latina/Black chick. hey, is that still Mystique??

shouldn't Mystique be dead by now?



whoa! green puke alert!!



explosions galore and not a costume rip. don't give me that Reed Richards unstable molecule crap.



the only explanation is that Mystique replaced her. gimme my No-Prize!!

star child

so who is Captain Marvel? i mean the Kree warrior Captain Mar-Vell. who has been dead for years now (cancer, natch). and who is alive again (and worshipped by the "Church of Hala"), because ... he has been resurrected as a Skrull sleeper cell. but he doesn't know it. or accept it. ah whatever.

but the biggest secret is ...



are you ready for this?





... his secret identity: Tom Cruise!!!!


now we have real life basis for aliens and Scientologists. hoooooooo-haaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

everyone's a frakking Skrull!

here's the official flyer for Marvel's next moneymaking scam crossover event.

if 8 issues isn't enough, there's also 29 related issues, and that's just during the 1st half of the series. i can hear the cash registers dying now ... hope the head honchos would someday invite us debt-ridden and broke fans to their private island casas. do you hear me, Joe Quesada???

well, it will be at least exciting enough to make bets on who's a Skrull or not. kinda reminds me a few years ago when (the new) Battlestar Galactica revealed that Cylons can now pose as humans ... and all the fans went nuts.

on your mark, get set ... no.

Fallen Son: Captain America
Jeph Loeb/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson
Marvel


three deep into the self-contained introspective stories after the death of Cap, Fallen Son: Captain America examines the effects on the long-lost Hawkeye (has there been any, any solid explanation at all how he came back from the dead? no? figures.). right off the bat, the moment he shows himself to Tony Stark, he gets sucker-punched.


Luke Skywalker needed S.H.I.E.L.D. treatment after getting raped by wampas


finding an opportunity to bring another hero to the fold, Tony nudges the always-impulsive Clint Barton into possibly donning the uniform and the Shield. after much screaming and scheming, Clint does agree. but only for a spin.

as i see it, Tony has a point, but its difficult to roll out a new symbol of the American Dream, especially if the previous one had size 25 ones. even one who could capably fill them admirably. why not roll out an armored Captain America robot, Tony? that could assuage your guilt. but nah, it wouldn't work.









we get teased by what could be when Clint shows up in full costume, accompanying Tony to stop two renegade teenage heroes, the Patriot (grandson of the black Cap, Isaiah Bradley), and "Hawkeye" (Kate Bishop, whose costumed identity was offered to her by Cap himself, after Clint's disappearance.

of course, the black guy starts cussing. i mean, how typical is that, Jeph Loeb?

after listening to them (and enduring a skirt costume joke), Hawkeye/Cap lets the two go, to Tony's consternation (his record in attempting to capture the renegade Avengers is now 0-12). they have a final discussion, again putting Tony's sterling reputation in the mud.

reminds me of that time when all Avengers got to live in Camelot-ian times, courtesy of Morgan Le Fey's magic tricks (thank you, Kurt Busiek!), with Hawkeye trying to convince Iron Man to see it from the point of view of the regular guys, but gets dissed.

by the way, with Hawkeye being the latest, how many Cap substitutes has Marvel tossed out there already? actually, the whole exercise is fun, pitting fanboy against fanboy, with their own frothy opinions on who could be the next.

here's Frank Castle, a.k.a. The Punisher, going up against super neocons in the Punisher War Journal.

America ... Fuck Yeah!

this is MVP (Michael Van Patrick) a sort of super athlete with perfect genes (revealed to be the grandson of the inventor of the original Super Soldier serum injected into Steve Rogers). too bad he got killed in the first training mission in Avengers: The Initiative. God who knows whose keeping a sample of his DNA right now, for future use? as maverick/hack auteur Carlo J. Caparas would say, "God Save Us!"

this is what they mean when they say you need it like you need a hole in your head

and we still haven't gotten into the reborn Bucky Barnes yet (a.k.a. the Winter Soldier, a.k.a. Captain America's Boy Toy), who, as per Captain America #26, wants to whack Tony Stark.

speaking of Tony, i think he had a quick fling with Katie Couric, she of the $15 million salary and falling ratings, with his inclusion of colonoscopy in standard physical exams of suspects.

so far, the Fallen Son series has been an enjoyable one, and i'm looking forward to the last two (Spider-Man and Iron Man).