whatever do you mean, Mr. Parker?

oh, that a-one! probably one more reason why we love your T-Bolts run.

playing raft

drive-by readings

Thunderbolts #147 (Marvel) "Scared Straight" Jeff Parker Kev Walker Frank Martin Albert Deschesne Marko Djurdjevic (cover)

what we learned: well, well, well, i was wondering when's the first jailbreak attempt going to happen, and Parker didn't waste time. coinciding with the visit of those crazy kids from Avengers Academy, power goes down in the Raft and every jailed loco wants to take advantage. but unlike the event that spawned the New Avengers, this one has the good guys firmly in control. even "Warden Cripple" proves he's not useless when getting a few licks in.
oh shit moment: more like awesome: Luke Cage goes back and gives the Purple Man one more reminder why he should just sit in his cell like a little girl and not mess with the man called Cage.
what's next: did something happen to Crossbones? what's with Juggy's sudden sense of warped justice? and when's Fixer's gonna be outed?

well, somebody's been playing Doom since 1993.

snaps: Thunderbolts #145

... where we find that it wasn't really Baron Zemo that showed up, it was just the Fixer. oh thank goodness! after being humiliated, the new T-Bolts go on their first mission: to find and capture some runaway Asgardian Trolls, who apparently have been spending too much time on the Internet that they're crashing forums and message boards.


yes, and those smelly geeks and nerds at comic cons too!!


how the hell can he drink and punch at the same time now?


uh oh. traitor alert!!!


imagine what would happen if Moonstone got torn in half by the Hulk!!


Juggy suddenly wanted to eat some dirt, then take a nap.


have you met the Ghost, the floating high tech garbage can?

thunderous

drive-by readings

Thunderbolts #144 (Marvel) "The Boss" Jeff Parker Kev Walker Frank Martin Albert Deschesne Marko Djurdjevic (cover)

the Heroic Age/Avengers relaunch books have been outdoing themselves in the past week. Secret Avengers #1 trumped Avengers #1, and now Thunderbolts #144, with Luke Cage leading the new team, just one-upped Secret Avengers.

Cage has been put in charge personally by Steve Rogers, of rehab/redemption of the wayward superpowered denizens of the Marvel U, and that's a tall order even if Cage has been on the wrong side of the law numerous times (technically, does that include his time with the resistance Avengers during the SHRA?). i'm pleased that ex-Thunderbolts that did display the propensity to reform (Songbird, Fixer, Mach V) are still in the mix, and i hope it stays that way. if not, you can just scrap this program.

just like the Avengers lineups, the new T-Bolts are intriguing. the choices weren't 100% Cage's choices, but then it would be great to see them all work out. especially this guy:


and this guy:


the need for a team tech still falls on the Ghost who sort of straddled the fence in Siege and now has been given another chance. the inclusion of Crossbones is a much convoluted one, as the selection committee wanted to have someone to be the polar opposite of Cage so the others would stay away from. huh? so why is he even there then? betrayal seems to be in the air down the road, especially when the Red Skull comes back (you know he always comes back).

i'm surprised no one has used the (mind-bending) Man-Thing before for teleportation purposes - Osborn didn't see the need except to chop him up for one reason or another. i guess he regenerated himself somehow (did that happen during Frankencastle?). i wonder what happens if he refuses to cooperate. "Man-Thing tired today. go use a chopper."

though am not sold of adding Moonstone (again!) with the group, especially with her new duds that confuses her with Dagger or Emma Frost, i guess they need some kind of energy wielder with some psych background. i hope they all have spinal bomb implants, because when they all decide to go rogue (even more than Sarah Palin), Cage will be in big trouble.

Jeff Parker has hit his stride with the Thunderbolts at the tail end of Dark Reign/Siege, and now he's cranked it up another notch. not only does he give a nod to Busiek/Bagley's Thunderbolts #1 with his last page reveal, his choice of characters are definitely at the least odd and at the most dangerous. the point is to put the readers on edge on every single issue and i'm looking forward to that.

snaps: Thunderbolts #143

... where we find the current iteration of T-Bolts make their final choices based on their convictions, and two of them (three, if you count the conflicted Ghost) actually help out the good guys, in a way. for one brief moment, you believe rehab will work. next up: Luke Cage.

i'm surprised Frank Simpson's not the Teabag Party mascot. yet.


Paladin's first heroic act since Avengers #271. wait - he was trying to score with Jan. dammit.


and now you're good for something, you jerk.


Pietro pwning Mr. X, while Wolverine couldn't? get out!!!


cue in the lonely Hulk music when Bill Bixby does the hitchhiking thing.

snaps: Fall of the Hulks - Savage She Hulks #1

... where i still don't understand where this is all going, though it involves a lot of manipulation and backstabbing and punching and kicking. hey, that defines "crossover" very well. so Marvel has no problem there.

what is it with the Hulks wanting to kill their parents all the time?


you want to blend in? where's your sex tape?


not just her - all the Hulks have a problem listening. especially to reason.


who knew that the Frosted Mini Wheat mascot was a closet nerd??


no, you're not. Namor had dibs.

back to the future

drive-by readings

Avengers vs Agents of Atlas #1 (Marvel) "Earth's Mightiest Super Heroes"/"Defender of the Deep" Jeff Parker Gabriel Hardman Elizabeth Breitweiser Tom Orzechowki Takeshi Miyazawa Chris Sotomayor Joe Sabino Humberto Ramos/Ed Delgado (cover) we had them teaming up with the X-Men, now we get them with the Avengers. everyone's favorite retro team gets lots of guest bookings (now also appearing in Thunderbolts), despite the cancellation of their book. i was thinking this was going to be a time travel thing considering the cover. as it turns out, it is but in reverse: a time/space anomaly has converted the present day (real) Avengers into their '60s incarnation, giving them the opportunity to catch up with old times with the Atlas people. it may be similar to Avengers/Invaders but i assume Jeff Parker has tricks to wow us. there's also a backup story that would serve as a lesson to kids who intend to take up whale-hunting as a career.

well, it wasn't Osborn but ...

Agents of Atlas 1, Thunderbolts 0.


/just so you know, that was the Headsman.
/who got it in the head.
/gotta hand it to you, Jeff Parker.

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Thunderbolts #140

snaps: X-Men vs Agents of Atlas #2

... where the time-honored tradition of fighting before simple diplomacy is in full effect. (actually that describes around half of superhero comics since 1938!)

1) cat? i thought he was a dog?! or a horse?!

Q: What do you call a bunch of Hank McCoys?
A: The Blue Cat Group?


2) Namor: "that insolent remark will cost you thirty lashes in our next tryst. when is that scheduled, by the way? am not sure we should do it in Utopia."


3) how do you say "get a room!!!" in Atlantean?


4) speaking of feelings, here's some creepy ones along the lines of cyber-telepathy.



5) oh, i see what you did there, Jeff Parker, you clever man you.


6) lookit! it's Cyclops without his visor or any eyewear!! isn't he handsome?? (this would qualify for a No-Prize, except that its in the astral plane or some plot device which anything is possible)


7) see, there's always a way to stop Wolverine (short of a Muramasa blade).

enlighten me ...

... o geekz of the InterWebz.

how does Namor talk through water again? and in an intelligible way?


you can see the bubbles from below so don't tell me he's not in water.

oh and hey, where's that webbed thing that used to be under his armpits? or does that appear only when he's flying?

also, let's see what Namor is actually saying on the cover (considering that watery thing that muffles sound):

Namor: "you cannot keep me from my cousin's puppies!!!!!!!!!!"

honest to God, that's what happens in this issue.

-----
Agents of Atlas #6

Mary Stevenson would say ...

"OMG! my work is being used by the Devil!!!"



to the clueless, here you go.

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Dark Reign: The Hood #1

Carlo drinks your milk! (shake)

a conversation between Jeff Parker and my countryman Carlo Pagulayan. i'm trying to remember what that milk was. was it Klim? Nido? Bear Brand? Carnation?

if i can't remember, i probably didn't drink it. i was probably breastfed by wolves.

the Sentry saves Filipinos, film at 11

oh, what volcano is it this time? not to be ungrateful, but shouldn't you be in Darfur or Gaza or something? juuuuuuuuuust asking.


thanks, Bob! but that doesn't still excuse you from being Norman Osborn's errand boy!



what does "Cilajet" mean?

what is the whole deal with Agents of Atlas?

will this be like The Order?

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Agents of Atlas #1