dirty ol' butler

whodathunk??

with the sheer power of the Batcomputer (ugh), its not impossible to conclude that Alfred has amassed a sizable porn image nest egg!

the other scary thought here is, is Batman smiling because he thinks Alfred is merely jesting, or he's privy to old man Pennyworth's habits and checks his database from time to time? (remember he can remote connect to his systems wherever he is)

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Batman: The Dark Knight #2

out of the pan

drive-by readings

Justice League: Generation Lost #8 (DC) "Would It Be Okay With the Management If We Check Out Early" Judd Winick Aaron Lopresti Matt Ryan Sal Cipriano Hi-Fi Cliff Chiang (cover) Ryan Sook/Joel Gomez/Fernando Pasarin/Randy Mayor/Carrie Strachan (variant cover)

what we learned: our JLWRML (Justice Leaguers Who Remember Max Lord) break out of Checkmate because they got caught and they can't find Max. the chemistry between them is extremely enjoyable and i hope they keep this team intact even after the future resolution of this Max Lord thing.
oh shit moment: if you can't find Max, Max will find you (isn't that from The Losers?).
what's next: for someone who doesn't want the world to remember him, he keeps pestering the JLI. what do you want, Max?


again: the most likable Russian since Ivan Drago. oh, wait, no, i meant Nikolai Luzhin.

hello, tentacles.

hey, as long as:
... the characters are dressed tastefully
... its not on the cover
... and its not drawn by Sana Takeda

it won't be controversial!

rogue rage

drive-by readings

The Flash #4 (DC) "Case One: The Dastardly Death of the Rogues, Part Four" Geoff Johns Francis Manapul Brian Buccellato Sal Cipriano Scott Kolins/Michael Atiyeh (variant cover)

what we learned: one of the future Rogues break protocol and actually tells Barry Allen why they're arresting him (of course there's a reason why he would even kill a Rogue - and its one of those damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't things). not far from the formerly washed-up Boomerang's heels, are the present-day Rogues, who apparently can't sit still while watching the conflict unfold on TV.
oh shit moment: the fact that i am reading a Flash comic without Wally West. i mean, i love Geoff Johns and all, but ...
what's next: who's Rogue Leader? i don't know, you tell me.


listen ... somebody has to ink Manapul quick. these pencil sketches are becoming stale.

well, it certainly is ALIVE!

Saturn Girl is making a killing isn't she? i mean, shouldn't this have been featured prominently with Jean Grey in X-Men: First Class?


Clark Kent's first threesome! HAH!!!


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Adventure Comics #12

who's down with Max Lordy? yeah, you know me!

"miss me?? am sure you did!"

Maxwell Lord (oh god, the smugness of the name alone) is back and first thing he does to reclaim his douchebag title is to have two cops shoot each other. bloody hell.

ever since he went over to the dark side, i'm just holding on to the memories of the old Giffen/Maguire days and even contemplated getting a lobotomy. oh wait, he can do that for me, can he?

hey, you still call it the "Bat Computer"?? Oracle doesn't call hers the 'Oracle Computer'. neither does the Calculator. see, is DC trying to be trite and kid-friendly? but with all the dead and dying happening (see Night, Blackest and Day, Brightest), that doesn't seem like it.

who else are supposed to go after Max? well, of course it'll be the old JLI gang. what you should just remember is that no one is safe and for all we know, they'll all go the way of Ted Kord soon enough.


"what kind of bomb?" let's see:
- a Nega Bomb?
- a Jaegerbomb?
- a James Bomb? ("boooooooooooooooo!")
- the kind of Bomb that Fire and Ice are (bombshells)




right, keep telling yourself that, Max.

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Justice League: Generation Lost #1

snaps: Green Arrow #31

... where we see Oliver Queen continue his fall from grace, shooting arrows at everything all the way down. i wonder where this is leading to. is he going to be an anti-hero, getting into conflict with the moralistic DCU heroes from time to time? it would be worth it as long we can also see some upper-tier DC bad guys end up dead on the JLA stoop as well. oh wait, can we just get Zatanna to wipe everyone's memory that Ollie killed Prometheus? what, too soon??

c'mon, it was just a burst of light, Jordan. you wuss.


"every time you see him-?" even since the Silver Age. fuck you, Barry. go back to the timestream, you ass on a high horse.


he thinks he's inconspicuous?


oh, look who stole some speed from Flash! liberal hippie versus fascists! hold Page One!!!


"including that time you made me drink vodka from the feeding bottle, you parenting model!"


what the deuce?? how are we sure that's not Cupid?


on the other hand, we don't mind. anyone who takes "Electrocutioner" as his code name deserves an arrow right thru the head.

BATMAN

... is getting soft.


/the lameass Chris Sims tribute post of the day

this never happens to Cory Petit!

someday you'll find it, the rainbow CONNETION ... (Batman: Streets of Gotham #8)



DC's been really notorious lately on typos.


/full disclosure: Mike Marts, Editor; Janelle Siegel, Asst. Editor

here's a hint, Slade: use Bing.

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Teen Titans #78

snaps: Batman Confidential #39

... where Cialis makes a killing. and Gotham City just survives being a pawn in a nuclear war between China and the country whose debts it owns.

1) ohhh, look! a Watchmen crossover!!!


2) is he talking about Midnighter? (why, yes - Batman and Midnighter are the same person!)


3) Zinda needed that breast reduction operation so bad.


4) Professor Xavier makes a deal with Scott to have Emma Frost for one night. (did i just type that?)


5) oh really? i should introduce you to Plas!

beat dat, Otto Octavius!

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Red Robin #7

Prof. X's secret weapon

just in case he needs to take down the X-Men, telepathic powers or not.




... what? it worked in JLA!!

drive-by readings: Batman: Streets of Gotham #3

Batman: Streets of Gotham #3 (DC) "Hush Money" / "Under My Skin" Paul Dini Dustin Nguyen Derek Fridolfs John Kalisz Steve Wands Marc Andreyko Georges Jeanty Karl Story Jack Purcell Nick Filardi Sal Cipriano

Victor Zsasz, in Paul Dini's more than capable hands, is currently replacing the Joker as the preeminent scariest Gotham psycho. and with the Black Mask positioning him to be the Man, well ... the Joker better get back to killin'. on a much tamer level, but no less to be wary of, is ex-BFF Thomas 'Hush' Elliot doing his Bruce Wayne shtick, prompting the new Dynamic Duo to put roadblocks along the way so he doesn't squander the family wealth. i dunno. i'm with Damian on this one - give him a good beating, then knife him in the back and dump him in the sewer. the bad guys keep getting chances. speaking of Damian - "he hearts Katanaaaaa". thanks to Grant Morrison, this post-Wayne's world might turn out to be interesting after all.

and still not biting on the Manhunter backup story.

drive-by readings: Adventure Comics #1

Adventure Comics #1 (DC) "The Boy of Steel, Part 1"/"Long Live the Legion" Geoff Johns Francis Manapul Brian Buccellato Steve Wands Clayton Henry Brian Reber Sal Cipriano

this is what the hype was? Conner Kent a.k.a. Kon El a.k.a. that Superboy you hated when he first came out after the death of Superman, now again has his own book (mostly) and he's settled in Smallville trying to understand his roots. he's basically half-Kal and half-Luthor after all. he's really a much more palatable Tom Welling. anyway, Geoff Johns writes some darker undertones contrasting Francis Manapul's kid-friendly sketches (there's something off about the noses on the cover though), and sows some intrigue (not to mention Blackest Night, but not sure if its going to be dealt with here). by the way, has he hooked up with Cassie yet? oh, that's next issue. duh.

the backup story with the Legion is of course meant for hardcore fans (Geoff Johns, showoff) or those who went insane like Thom Kallor.

drive-by readings: Batman: Streets of Gotham #1

Batman: Streets of Gotham #1 (DC) "Ignition" / "Strange Bedfellows" Paul Dini Dustin Nguyen Derek Fridolfs John Kalisz Steve Wands Marc Andreyko Georges Jeanty Karl Story Nick Filardi Sal Cipriano

Paul Dini re-teams with his ex-Detective Comics cohorts Dustin Nguyen and Derek Fridolfs on Streets of Gotham, which seems to be more from supporting characters' POV. with the new Batman and Robin still gaining traction, Gotham City seems to be always in freefall but never completely flatlining. and why bother with the city really? does it have overflowing coffers of gold that everyone wants a piece of it? i'm sure Gotham qualifies as one of the cities with the highest crime rates (and that was with Batman). with such a rosy outlook, one would pull up stakes and move elsewhere. its a miracle people still live in a place where you could get bombed by the Joker or get ripped in half by Killer Croc any given moment.

so for this moment, we have B-lister Firefly setting everyone afire because, hey that's what he does. so Gotham's burning again. Commish Gordon keeps a steely silence in the face of it all, and just keeps doing his job (how old is he? 73?). with the narration flowing smoothly between heroes, villains and victims, Dini keeps us engaged, and eagerly awaiting the next issue. didn't care much for the Manhunter backup story though.

by the way, this is only one of two new Batman series being written by Dini. the other one is called Gotham City Sirens, which features more Guillem March. hubba-hubba.

drive-by readings: Red Robin #1

Red Robin #01 (DC) "The Grail, Part 1 of 4" Christopher Yost Ramon Bachs Guy Major Sal Cipriano Francis Manapul (cover)

look who's on a Eurotrip (minus the creepy Italian commuter) - its The Artist Formerly Known as Robin/Tim Drake. now donning the Red Robin mantle, Tim Wayne embarks on a quest to find his legal father - you know, the one who used to wear a rodent costume and scared criminals shitless. yeah, you and i think he's nuts, but what's an orphan (a muscled athlete entering his prime with more money than God, but still an orphan) to do? he's not gonna join a gang of thieves now, is he? no, he'd rather leave a trail of bodies across Madrid and Paris in his search for Daddy. especially since he punched out Damian for dissing him (precious on both counts). of course, Damian's immortal-ish grampa (check him out at lazaruspit.com) doesn't take kindly to somebody slapping around his kin. yeah, you're a dead bird, Tim.

burger teen

recognize these three?


well, here's a refresher course, you pretending-to-be-born-in-1990 sucker.

Wendy and Marvin were one-time sidekicks of the SuperFriends (which is the kiddie version of the JLA). they didn't have any powers, and they had a pooch they called Wonderdog. they were eventually replaced by the equally despicable Wonder Twins, and much-more despicable monkey Gleek.

in modern times, Wendy and Marvin have been written as the custodians of the Titans Tower, the headquarters of the Teen Titans (the kiddie version of the Titans, who are the young adult versions of the JLA). in Teen Titans #62, they come across a dog, which should be a lot more puzzling to them because Titans Tower is located in an island and there's no way a dog could have strayed from anywhere.

well, now you know how we feel now, Wendy, after we think about those times we watched you and Marvin in the SuperFriends.

to make a long story short, Wonderdog is a lot more than meets the eye. in fact, seems like he has a different kind of appetite.

in a sequence reminiscent of b-movie slasher flicks, Wendy gets chased around by this Cujo without anyone knowing better, and ends up as a Deluxe Double Stack. sorry, couldn't resist.

so Wendy and Marvin haters, there's your payback. have they done anything like this for the Wonder Twins? maybe they can be chopped up by Libra in Final Crisis? that too much to ask?

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Teen Titans #62