the killing time

cliffhangers of the week!

riding high on their laurels post-Secret Invasion, the T-Bolts go for a much vaunted target: Moon Knight!

ahhhhh ... screw it. like either of them is really gonna end up dead.

Moon Knight #24
Mike Benson/Mark Texeira/Javier Saltares/Dan Brown/Joe Caramagna


the fight to control Wolverine's long-lost son hurtles towards its conclusion with the kid about to throw down with his pop.


X-Men: Legacy #218
Mike Carey/Scot Eaton/Andrew Hennessy/Jason Keith/Brian Reber/Cory Petit


what? another Bullseye sighting? Norman Osborn cleans house, and sics his most ethics-challenged dogs to do it. if Bullseye doesn't get to really whack anyone next issue, that makes him only good for killing Goliath Skrulls. his stock is really plummeting like the stock market. if you want to hire a hitman, you'd be better off hiring the Punisher.


Thunderbolts #126
Andy Diggle/Roberto Dela Torre/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne

hulkamania 2

World War Hulk sightings:

Hulk Destroys the Marvel Universe
i mean, wow. it was almost as if, to a man, the Marvel head honchos said, "ok, how do we top our heroes kicking each others' butt? well, let's have the Hulk kick all their butts! and really good!" the Hulk has never been written this powerful and menacing, and he has control of all his faculties. means bad news for all his former friends, who wish they still had the original dumb Hulk leaping around.

She-Hulk? for once, blood is not thicker than water.


Ares? i think he has to give up this 'God of War' thing.


Human Torch? you must be kid-ding.


Ben Grimm? definitively the ass-kicking of his life.


and Mr. Smarty-Pants Reed Richards himself? well, you know what they say about good intentions. hopefully, he still has a third honeymoon in him.

that's Black Bolt, Iron Man, the Avengers (the supposedly mighty ones - how does this tie-in with New Avengers?), the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four ... including give or take a few of heavy hitters. the last remaining hope is Dr. Strange, who couldn't complete his spell, and the enigmatic Sentry (which for the life of me, i don't know why he's sitting at home watching Food Network). wait ... who's that approaching? is that General Thunderbolt Ross? seriously!?

Iron Man gets Screwed

by one of his Initiative recruits, no less. it didn't take long for sneaky government types to meddle with the super-army Tony Stark built. Hardball, an immature loose cannon who hasn't really revealed the full extent of his powers, has been coerced to sell the one thing that could have brought the Hulk down for family security. security, pfah!

New Yorkers have an Attitude. Even The Young'Uns.
if i were Daredevil, i'd have smacked the shit out of this kid. i'm just saying!


CSI Alienation

an android under the command of the AWH (aliens with Hulk) gets "killed" and the outerworlders are out for blood. what do we humans do? why, conduct an investigation, of course. easier said than done.

Ghost Rider Cops Out

and i mean the Ghost Rider, not Johnny Blaze. Dr. Strange said it well - Blaze was the one limiting the Rider's powers, because if not, you'd have a much more powerful entity unleashed on the world. however, that might be the one thing needed to beat the Hulk.

can you imagine the Hulk being mischievous? (straps a 7 train to the unsuspecting GR's chain)


after dropping a building on Hulk (cool) and expanding a huge blast of hellfire (how is NYC still standing?), it all comes to this staredown and ...


... nothing. Ghost Rider drives away because he only avenges the innocent.

which most certainly, our so-called protectors (Iron Man, Reed Richards, etc.) haven't been.

but ... but ... what about the innocents killed in this attack? you mean there's no body count? are you kidding me?

damn you, Daniel Way!


i knew the continuity was breaking down. for those who haven't read it yet, sorry for spoiling it for you, but you'd better read this thing from beginning to end when its all said and done.
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World War Hulk #2
Greg Pak, John Romita Jr., Klaus Janson
Avengers: The Initiative #4
Dan Slott, Stefano Caselli
World War Hulk: Frontline #2
Paul Jenkins, Ramon Bachs
Ghost Rider #13
Daniel Way, Javier Saltares, Scott Hanna

hulkamania

World War Hulk sightings:

overall, DC does a better job coordinating multi-titled crossover events, but Marvel earns some brownie points this time (yeah, yeah, its just the first month!).

Humbug decapitates a Miek-ling
Heroes for Hire #14, by Zeb Wells, Clay Mann, Terry Pallot
is there some kind of 90's decute-ification revival going on? y'know, fun hero morphs into tough, dark persona (Speedball = Penance; mutant postman = The Collective). to be fair, Humbug was like a Wonder Twin of H4H. now, he's ... badass. but we are now skeptical of the company Hulk keeps.


who's your god-dy?
Incredible Hulk #107, by Greg Pak, Gary Frank, Jon Sibal
7th smartest human Amadeus Cho (bril name!) brings former Champions Hercules and Angel to help out the Hulk. but of course there has to be some eardrum-shattering punching - the cover says so! we're waiting for the blow up between Namor and the Hulk. by the way, if you want to email Hercules to ask him how his face feels, drop him a line at hercules@olympus.com.


Iron Giant vs Hulk
Iron Man #19, by Christos N. Gage, Butch Guice
this issue of Iron Man expands the events prior and within WWH #1. it still ends up with Hulk kicking Tony's metal ass.


the jump
Ghost Rider #12, by Daniel Way, Javier Saltares, Scott Hanna
Johnny Blaze (another former Champion) overrides his Ghost Rider program and races to Manhattan to help out. he could have gone from New Jersey and straight to the city via Holland Tunnel, but instead for cinematic purposes he went through Staten Island and Brooklyn, because he ... needs to jump over the Brooklyn Bridge. and when he gets to the other side, the Hulk is right there waiting for him. and then of course the book ends, and we have to wait another 30 friggin' days to find out what the hell happens next.

damn you, Daniel Way!



wait ... what are the order of these events, exactly? methinks next week, all coordination breaks down. oboy.

sucker for a ride

Ghost Rider
Daniel Way/Mark Texeira/Javier Saltares
Marvel


ok, no more of this Zarathos shit. no more tug-of-war for control. no more Danny Ketch and the mystical medallion. no more Spirits of Vengeance. no more debts to the devil ... well, at least the debt part. Mephisto has been banished to the minor leagues.

this time, the one, true Ghost Rider has taken the handlebars.

the history of Ghost Rider had become so convoluted, he was in danger of sliding into Hawkman territory/apathy. good thing he got that flaming skull and biker thing going. flaming skulls are cool; hawk costumes ... ehh. to recap: young circus cyclist sells his soul to the devil, to keep his mentor alive. devil reneges by having the mentor die anyway, young man gets saved by his girlfriend, and devil gains revenges by bonding man's soul with another demon with supernatural powers. and an ass-kicking bike.

Daniel Way, one of my favorite new writers along with Robert Kirkman, de-constructs the mythos and picks out the best parts: permanent control, the chain, the Penance stare, and the cycle. and a couple of new gimmicks. oh, and don't forget, Johnny Blaze, an American original.

this time, we find Johnny trapped in Hell (continuing from the Road to Damnation miniseries). Lucifer, a.k.a. Satan, presides over and sneers at Johnny's futile attempts to escape.


until Johnny runs into a slug (ugh) named Greexix, who's legally-blind but may or may not have been attempting to escape too.



having nothing better to do, Johnny rescues the little bugger.

"... giant turd coming through! INCOMINGGGG!!!"

lest you think humor is banned in Hell, this is where i like Way's writing, blending amusing stuff with the action. i mean, Ghost Rider sounding like Owen Wilson?


and you never thought you'd see Ghost Rider with Doop, huh?

"what is this ... an X-Statix book??"

and best reason for checking out (the) Way? plot twists in a snap!

"thanks, buddy ... those BK Stackers were really good!"

yes, Johnny Blaze has escaped Hell and gone back to Earth but so has Lucifer.

but wait! couldn't Lucifer just come and go as he pleases? not really. only Ghost Rider could bridge the two planes, and Lucifer, cunning bastard that he is, saw him as his ticket out. but then again, why did he keep spinning devious plots to keep Ghost Rider in, crushing his hopes in the process, when Lucifer could have let him go and piggybacked out? maybe its all a game. you wanna call Lucifer and ask? here's his number: 1-800-555-HELL.

so everywhere (or at least everywhere in America), some bad shit goes down and certain people get possessed a demonic entity.


how do we know its demonic? shoot, just listen to this conversation:


so where the hell is Ghost Rider? (oops, sorry i shouldn't say that; he's no longer in hell, after all). he's just in a cemetery, duking it out with Dr. Strange (yeah, he called to ask Johnny to join a new team he was forming, the Defending Champions).

"and this is what i think of your idea!"

used to being fooled by Lucifer, Ghost Rider tries to use his Penance stare to subdue this "Dr. Strange" - and it turns out to be the wisest thing he did because he finds out that the Doc is the real deal. A mystical figure, Numecet, appears and explains to Johnny (and us spectators) what the hell is going on.

i guess he's not talking about Wacko Jacko.

when Ghost Rider crossed over to the Earthly plane, he came in intact; Lucifer didn't. he was scattered all over (all those demonic possessions), and he wants the Ghost Rider to come and kill each one. Ghost Rider would willingly oblige, except that Numecet cautions that each piece killed only serves to channel the power back to the remaining entities, until Lucifer reforms his being, and will remake Hell on Earth (like he needs to?!?!). curious Johnny asks for the number of beings he has to whack, and he's stunned by the answer. i'll give you a hint ... it has three-digits and it starts with a 6.

against impossible odds, Ghost Rider has no choice.

only if Carson's corpse gets reanimated

its cool to have Ghost Rider putting the hurt on Lucifer himself. i mean, we never get to see that! we can consider him the boss of bosses for all things bad, can't we? - all these supervillains, who else motivates them? Ghost Rider is going directly to the source!


there's a sequence where some kind of dialogue is necessary; even wars have truces and peace talks. Johnny and Lucy (hah!) have a moment ... after Lucifer lures him back to his old haunts (the Quentin Carnival) and waxes philosophical.


the first story arc ends as the carnival blows up (another nail in the coffin of the past) and Johnny riding off into the night to find the remaining Satan clones. police checking out the blast area finds a bible intact - a mystery for next time.

it was brilliant to bring back Javier Saltares and Mark Texeira, who were the artists' on the series during the '90s. having them tag-team on the book should get them to stay for awhile (i hope). the two are adept with dark tones that fit the character and stories (although this could mean no one else could do it justice).

since the Ghost Rider movie is coming out in ... February (they said), i just have one quibble on the choice of having Nic Cage play the part: those flames will burn out any remaining hair he has on his head. and oh, if director/writer Mark Steven Johnson stumbles on this like he did Daredevil and Elektra ... he has a Penance stare coming.

in closing, Ghost Rider has a question for you:


you better have the right answer. your choices are "yes" and "no" and "no" just left town.
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issues read: #1-5