90 paltry signatures

well, at least there wasn't one for Final Crisis. or was there?


(yeah, i know that was old. i was trying to find the DC Comics signing schedule online and tripped on that.)

cliffhanger of the week #12

damn, that was a busy week!

#8 - Glow in the Dark

this issue neatly fixes the problems of 1) how to cure the Phalanx virus (thereby returning Gamora and Drax to normal) and 2) how to re-power Nova. that being done, its time for some Phalanx ass-kicking. which happens over in Annihilation: Conquest. see you in 30.

Nova #12 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Paul Pelletier/Rick Magyar/Guru eFX/Cory Petit

#7 - And They are Us

Frank Castle has met the enemy, and they're US soldiers sent to put him down. a sad commentary on patriotism, politics and military culture. will this be the moment when the Punisher finally kills one of his own?

The Punisher #56 (Marvel)
Garth Ennis/Goran Parlov/Lee Loughridge/Cory Petit

#6 - Popping Caps

we all know a force for good can also take a turn down the wrong path, and in the scientific world, this happens quite a lot. by "lot", we mean its taken down all the Marvel heroes employed by S.H.I.E.L.D., and most of the stars of this book. who else is left? why, the Big Brain himself, Mr. Faaaaaaaaaaaaan-tastic!

Fantastic Four #556 (Marvel)
Mark Millar/Bryan Hitch/Andrew Currie/Paul Mounts/Rus Wooton

#5 - Putting the Bitch Down

so, as it turns out, Wolverine and Mystique have been an item/done the deed waaaaaaay back in the '20s (did you ever make reference to that, Chris Claremont?). but this woman is one leopard that keeps changing her spots but still remains rotten the core. well, Logan, its really time to put up or shut up.

Wolverine #64 (Marvel)
Jason Aaron/Ron Garney/Jason Keith/Cory Petit

#4 - Walk on the Darkseid

finally, Darkseid shows his hand (and his fists) and manages to get dragged down to the crude level of hand to hand combat with Superman. of course he has to cheat. too bad, because this time, its Jimmy Olsen's turn to save his idol.

Countdown #3 (DC)
Paul Dini/Sean McKeever/Freddie Williams II/Pete Pantazis/Ken Lopez

#3 - Animal Magic

Zeb Wells threw us a curve (which we really should have recognized), and it turns out these natives weren't the bad guys after all. yes, yes, sometimes brainiacs go crazy. and bad. parents, pay a little more attention to your kids, will ya?

The Amazing Spiderman #556 (Marvel)
Zeb Wells/Chris Bachalo/Tim Townsend/Antonio Fabela/Cory Petit

#2 - Dear Gog

the JSA roster seems to expand by 2 every single month. and with that amount of firepower, you'd think they could easily take down this Gog jerk. turns out they need more help from the future.

Justice Society of America #14 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Dale Eaglesham/Prentis Rollins/Alex Sinclair/Rob Leigh

#1 - Hello, Its Me

the new Captain America takes down Crossbones, Sin and the new Serpent Squad. but that's not the surprise. the surprise is Steve Rogers might yet be alive. yes, you read that right.

Captain America #36 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Butch Guice/Mike Perkins/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna

cliffhanger of the week #11

#5 - You Happy Puppet

oh-hoh! do we smell flirting in the air? Bruce Wayne gets a little too cozy with Zatanna, and you know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. but too bad the playboy gets hostaged by the idiotic puppet known as Scarface and gets shot. yeah, yeah, yeah.

Detective Comics #843 (DC)
Paul Dini/Dustin Nguyen/Derek Fridolfs/John Kalisz/Steve Wands

#4 - Electric Youth

if you have a new generation of X-Men, how else should they prove their cred except by beating up the generation before them? i'm not sure how this works out but apparently the former New Mutants are now part of the Hellfire Club. outstanding.

Young X-Men #1 (Marvel)
Marc Guggenheim/Yanick Paquette/Ray Snyder/Rob Schwager/Dave Sharpe

#3 - Sliders

the standoff between Cable and Bishop still continues, and most of this issue explains how Bishop followed Cable, even with no right arm. you know what, ever since the X-traitor was unveiled, and he became a sort of mutant detective, Lucas Bishop seemed to become less and less interesting. he's here now, it doesn't matter if this mutant baby produces his apocalyptic future. i wanna know why he's not right in the head. i think its all these time-travel jaunts.

Cable #2 (Marvel)
Dwayne Swierczynski/Ariel Olivetti/Joe Caramagna

#2 - Corrupt Absolutely

just when you think its over, they pull you back in!! Mary Marvel, stupid as she can be, takes the power back that Darkseid gives her. as in just accepts it. easy as pie. with no third or fourth thoughts. this is why kids get pregnant early these days.

Countdown #4 (DC)
Paul Dini/Sean McKeever/Jamal Igle/Keith Champagne/Tom Chu/Travis Lanham

#1 - They're Goddamn Everywhere!

was there ever any doubt? at this rate, all Secret Invasion-related issues will hold the top cliffhanger spot every month. its like Rick Astley in his heyday. hey, was Astley a Skrull? i think he is. with all this Rickrolling shit, he's making a comeback without making it look like one.

Secret Invasion #1 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/Leinil Francis Yu/Mark Morales/Laura Martin/Chris Eliopoulos

cliffhanger of the week #7

counting down the best (i.e., the ones i read) cliffhangers of the week.

#5 - Technobattle

after screwing us with last month's cliffhanger - no mutant got shot - i'm demoting this to #5, and its even here only because the damn Purifiers, advised by the resurrected Nimrod-class Bastion sentinel, opt to dig up Warlock's pappy, the Magus. did they want to down the blood and gore by having techno-organic innards shredded instead? tsk. pussies.

X-Force #2 (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/Clayton Crain/Cory Petit


#4 - Hippies, Gangsters and Muties, Oh My!

we still have to solve the mystery of why the heck San Francisco is devolving back into the Age of Aquarius, but at the moment we have the old school trio of Logan, Peter and Kurt getting into a bar brawl deep in the heart of Russia, thus attracting the attention of secret organizations which even Putin doesn't know about. i'm not sure where this is going, but {deep sigh} - In Bru We Trust.

Uncanny X-Men #496 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Mike Choi/Sonia Oback/Joe Caramagna


#3 - Ralph Macchio Must Die!

yes, that's the long-lost Ray Palmer's solution to all of this - kill the Karate Kid now or else infect the world and die. whatever the Cobra Kai couldn't do, i guess the DC heroes can.

Countdown to Final Crisis #8 (DC)
Paul Dini/Justin Gray/Jimmy Palmiotti/Carlos Magno/Rodney Ramos/Tom Chu/Travis Lanham


#2 - Lethal Weapons

three things: Laira goes on trial and gets kicked off the Corps, that event triggers the 2nd Law saying lethal force is now enabled for ALL enemies of the Corps, and Laira's passion for justice ends up in making her a Red Lantern. yowza!

Green Lantern #28 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Mike McKone/Andy Lanning/Mario Alquiza/Norm Rapmund/Jo Smith/Rob Leigh


#1 - You're Always A Day Away!

i'm not even sure why i'm putting this #1. oh that's right - its the righteous Olivetti art, which i haven't seen much since The Last Avengers Story. Cable the solo series was relaunched owing to Cable/Deadpool getting the axe and readers want to know what the hell's up with this baby-kidnapping thing from X-Men's Messiah CompleX. of course, Bishop isn't too far behind. two men from the future fighting in the future. i don't even wanna know what the ramifications are.

Cable #1 (Marvel)
Duane Swierczynski/Ariel Olivetti/Joe Caramagna

cliffhanger of the week #6

counting down the best (i.e., the ones i read) cliffhangers of the week.

#5 - Wailing Thunder

Thor has to make one final decision - restore the remaining Asgardians (even Odin?) - and it is one even he does not want to make, for fear of returning everyone to their old lives, doing the same old thing. even the his newly tranny-fied brother/sister Loki knows this, and eagerly awaits the results. but the sonuvOdin must do what he has to do, and plummets down to Earth like a falling star. of course, its not the end. duh.

Thor #6 (Marvel)
J. Michael Straczynski/Olivier Coipel/Mark Morales/Laura Martin


#4 - Music, Professor!

hah! i knew it! Chuck's body disappeared, and who's responsible? (and nobody seemed to mind later) well, its those stand-up members of the Acolytes. Tempo stopped time, and you can figure out the rest. now with Chuck's brain a mass of goo (thanks a lot, Bishop!), Exodus tries to figure out a way to restart/rebuild it, and where else does he turn to ask for assistance except from - Joseph Magneto. ugh. this time next year, Xavier will be a bad guy.

X-Men: Legacy #208 (Marvel)
Mike Carey/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Scot Eaton/John Dell/Christina Strain/Frank D'Armata


#3 - And Away We Gog

its the Supermen's greatest nightmare - Gog/Magog is back! those who love Kingdom Come will be intrigued. at least i am. should we expect the old Superman from the Earth 22 to die next issue?

Justice Society of America #13 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Alex Ross/Fernando Pasarin/Richard Friend/Rob Leigh/Alex Sinclair


#2 - Snakes in the Grass

finally, the new Captain America is about to thrown down with a real challenge - the Red Skull's daughter Sin and the Serpent Squad! no beekeepers, no riot police, no civilians. who you taking and how much are you putting down, brother?
Captain America #35 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Butch Guice/Mike Perkins/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna


#1 - Piping Hot

the D-List DC villain Pied Piper is now a (dead?) major player, and he seemingly saves a lot of hero bacon by killing Desaad, and blowing Apokolips to smithereens (and a bunch of OMACs, but missed finishing off Brother Eye). now do we have a reason to care about this series? even if i don't still get half the time what the hell's going on?

Countdown #9 (DC)
Paul Dini/Justin Gray/Jimmy Palmiotti/Tom Derenick/Wayne Faucher/Pete Pantazis/Ken Lopez

oi!!!

things that made me go Colin Cowherd-whoa! for the week.

1) the return of ... Night Thrasher?!

right. this is why i don't read Wizard or other solicitation publications much. i like being surprised once in a while. that better not be Dwayne Taylor underneath that mask. oh i know ... its Dwyane Wade!!!

New Warriors #1
Kevin Grievoux, Paco Medina, Juan Vlasco

2) Mandarin steals fire from the gods ...

... as head of Prometheus Gentech Inc. through the (underhanded) efforts of U.S. Sec-Def Jack Kooning, Maya Hansen (responsible for Tony Stark's Extremis) gets pirated by Prometheus. yeah i know, i should have chosen the death of Sal Kennedy (hey this is Marvel; he'll be reborn as a powerful zombie later, along with Happy Hogan). but the Mandarin-as-CEO is just too good to resist.

Iron Man #18
Daniel/Charles Knauf, Roberto De La Torre, Jonathan Sibal

3) Beta Ray Bill gets wrecked

aw, c'mon!!! who had the bright idea of imbuing these losers with Thor-level powers anyway? Bill used to pimp slap gods and world-beating aliens. now he's being slapped around by 4 drunk rednecks. and the cruelest cut of all from the Wrecker: "ain't nobody told you, horse head? Thor knockoffs have a short shelf life nowadays." wait till the real Thor comes back, asshole.


Omega Flight #3
Michael Avon Oeming, Scott Kolins

and for the knockout ...

4) Mary Marvel goes to the dark side!

'nuff said!


Countdown #47
Paul Dini, Sean McKeever, Tom Derenick

what they really said was ...

DC's upcoming summer event, unveiled at the NYComicCon, is called Countdown, and here's the poster to titillate fanboys everywhere.



but do you think our heroes were just posing? what do you think where they thinking, or wanted to say? DC might not want you to know ... but with a little help from Comic Book Creator, let's shed a little light on the subject, shall we ...?