i just can wait to be king

drive-by readings

War of Kings: Who Will Rule? one shot (Marvel) Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Paul Pelletier Andrew Hennessy Guru eFX Joe Caramagna Brandon Peterson (cover)

the one thing i really liked about War of Kings is that it finally elevated Gladiator (no, not Russell Crowe) from a two-dimensional muscle-bound powerhouse into a fleshed-out ethical soldier with leadership potential. actually, DnA, in taking reins of Marvel's cosmic crossovers/space operas since 2006's Annihilation (with Keith Giffen), have breathed new life into C-list characters and moved them up the ladder (ex. Nova, Ronan, Super-Skrull, Rocket Raccoon, Star Lord - even Maximus became more than a cardboard cutout insane villain) or at least made them readable again. with the seeming deaths of Black Bolt and former Shi'ar Majestor Vulcan, Gladiator (true name: Kallark ... you know, like that guy from Kansas via Krypton) tries to hold the fragile Shi'ar Imperium together and at the same time, bury his former Majestrix Lilandra, a casualty of the War of Kings (did somebody tell Xavier yet?). he still thinks himself as a soldier, and prefers to have someone else take the reins of the Empire, whether its someone within the Shi'ar heirarchy or a regent from presumably their new rulers, the Kree/Inhumans. Crystal feels Medusa will appoint her, and she herself is reluctant to take the position. in the end, Gladiator doesn't have a choice: he's the best suited individual at this point for the job. unfortunately, its what suits the Fraternity of Raptors - and the Magus (the now-i'm-crazy-again Adam Warlock). up next: Realm of Kings.

drive-by readings: War of Kings #6

War of Kings #6 (Marvel) "War of Kings" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Paul Pelletier Rick Magyar Andrey Hennessy Wil Quintana Brandon Peterson (cover) Mike Choi/Sonia Oback (variant cover)

wow. i keep looking for happy endings and they never happen. silly me. Black Bolt and Vulcan's mano-a-mano results in both of them dead - probably (this is the Marvel Universe after all). one thing we can be sure of, is that Gladiator will be the new Shi'ar boss. here's hoping he doesn't start another war after what happened to Lilandra; he should go after the Raptors (likely the next cosmic crossover, eh DnA?). what's next for the cast of characters? fingers crossed, no one gets canceled (Guardians of the Galaxy and Nova). Alex and Lorna should go back home to Earth though, and be with family again. one thing good out of this, is we get rid of the annoying Vulcan for awhile (why does he talk like an American douchebag? somebody probably edited out "like" from the dialogue).

i think the collected trade would really be worth getting, as i feel this was a stronger crossover, story and art-wise than its Annihilation predecessors.

drive-by readings: War of Kings: Ascension #4

War of Kings: Ascension #4 (Marvel) "Fugitive" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Wellinton Alves Scott Hanna Guru eFX Cory Petit Brandon Peterson (cover)

last time we left Chris Powell, a.k.a. Darkhawk, he wrests back control of the suit from the Raptor Razor, but just right after the latter assassinates Lilandra for Vulcan. this immediately makes him somewhat Sh'iar Public Enemy Number One (depending on who you talk to), and the anti-BFF of Gladiator and the Starjammers. give him credit for making the best out of a really bad situation and taking the fight back to the Fraternity of Raptors. this series started out slow, but ends up a winner. and the open ending paves the way for the next cosmic crossover? right? right??

drive-by readings: War of Kings #5

War of Kings #5 (Marvel) "In Rage and Blood and Fire" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Paul Pelletier Rick Magyar Wil Quintana Joe Caramagna Brandon Peterson (cover) Adi Granov (variant cover)

with the assassination of Lilandra (you mean it, Marvel? you really mean it?), the endgame is afoot, making the expected collision course between Vulcan and Black Bolt inevitable. the rage burns out of control on the Sh'iar side, none moreso than in Lilandra's longtime loyalist, Gladiator, who's out ripping arms and putting down those he believes betrayed the Royal Throne (how ya doin', Chancellor Araki). the Inhumans in the meantime, are divided in their own house, as Black Bolt hatches a counterplan involving terrigen mists, sound, and himself: in short, he's goin' a-suicide bombing. i've been praising War of Kings for being a well-coordinated crossover, with its simple, tight sequences and exceptional cliffhangers; case in point - Vulcan easily brushes aside the Kree Sentries and bursts into the heart of the Inhuman bomb, and just nods at Black Bolt: "you. let's go." this is i think, the apex of Vulcan's characterization, thanks to DnA, and ultimately thanks to Ed Brubaker, who co-created the 3rd Summers brother in X-Men: Deadly Genesis, and who also has a hand in this month's other much-hyped book (think red, white and blue).

drive-by readings: Guardians of the Galaxy #15

Guardians of the Galaxy #15 (Marvel) Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Brad Walker Victor Olazaba Livesay Jay David Ramos Chris Eliopoulos Salvador Larocca (cover)

past the fisticuffs resulting from being caught in between hostile Sh'iar Imperial Guard and the angry Inhumans/Kree, this issue merely rates an OK overall. sure there were some nice moments, like Warlock cutting loose (yeeech), the ad hoc Guardians always finding a way despite being overmatched, and of course Peter Quill's deadpan-in-the-face-of-death quips. i still give kudos to the writing team for managing the story and the schedules well - this should be a terrific trade paperback.

you know what might've prevented the War of Kings? a Michael Jackson concert. word.

drive-by readings: War of Kings: Ascension #3

War of Kings: Ascension #3 (Marvel) "The End of All Things" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Wellinton Alves Scott Hanna Nelson Pereira Guru eFX Cory Petit Brandon Peterson (cover)

holy crap, i didn't see that coming. yes, i may be a doofus, but screw you, this is my page. this is also why DnA have revitalized Marvel's cosmic titles in the last 3 years, and made for better entertainment than the crossovers happening in terra firma. deftly springing off from War of Kings #4, Chris Powell rightfully takes back the Darkhawk armor, but at the completely wrong time (you sly foxes, DnA!). so what's the point of gaining the advantage of knowledge over the Fraternity of Raptors (includes the ones from Toronto), when everyone thinks you're just a bully who shoots women for fun?

and hey, somebody answer this for me, as even Google is confused. is it Wellinton Alves or Wellington Alves?

a certain bald man is not going to be happy

and i don't mean Max Brenner. Or Brian Michael Bendis.



should i even hope that this is permanent? or would Lilandra be alive and well in Operation Galactic Storm 2 - Kree Versus Shi'ar Versus Skrulls Versus Technarch Versus Celestials: Here We Go Again in 2011?

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War of Kings #4

never doubt a raccoon

or the writing duo known as DnA.

another stellar issue. this is why we read comicbooks.

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War of Kings #3

oh, its on!

to: Silverhawks (snort)
from: Worldmind



do not think we will take this insult lightly, you winged abominations. "minor guardians of order" indeed. the Xandarians have no use for ugly flying objects as yourselves, as the Earthmen do sometimes to deliver their correspondences in absence of what they call a "postage stamp".

be forewarned that i will be sending my most powerful officer on you to open up that armor and squeeze you out like corned meat.


Richard, it is important that you listen at this time ...

wait, didn't i just take the Nova Force away from that Earthling ...

%%%%$&*#^@%!!
amp;*#^@%!!
amp;*#^@%!!

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War of Kings: Ascension #1

Chris Powell needs Akeelah

except his spelling skillz, apparently.

wait, does spelling in thoughts count?
(so we can lay that on C.B. Cebulski or Cory Petit.)

and what does this have to do with War of Kings?
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from War of Kings: Darkhawk #1

who will rule?

of course, the winner will be the one who has the hottie wife with flowing red hair, suckaz!!!

first blood

with the Inhuman king Black Bolt returning home after being replaced by/tortured by/rescued from the Skrulls, there's no other time but payback time. its kinda how abused boys could eventually become serial killers when they grow up. you can't hold back that kind of thing.

"i don't wanna ... talk about it."

breaking out a cache of banned weapons, Blackagar pulls up his race's roots and heads off into space (i assume at some point, that massive liftoff from the moon will be noticed by the guvmint scientist types on earth?) to pursue (and terminate with extreme prejudice, natch) the remaining Skrulls, which is just the short-term goal. in pursuit of this goal, they encounter three Sh'iar (ex-pals of our merry mutants) warships who do not take kindly to this chase across their territory. Blackagar, already the most powerful weapon in the universe and connected to an asskicking amplifier musicians would kill for, has only one response.

"fuck you, Simon Cowell ... i can sing!"

so now you understand why during the opening salvo of World War Hulk, Black Bolt couldn't rip the Hulk to shredded green wheat - that was the Skrull-Black Bolt and it was faking his powers. the real deal can obliterate starships at the minimum, as experienced by the Sh'iar military and the fugitive Skrulls.

Cowell, Abdul and the rest of the AI judges get blown away

short term goal accomplished. now for the long-term: the Inhumans have been weapons created by the Kree (those trigger-happy humanoid aliens), but were left ignored and unused. now the weapons have come back to take over the whole Kree race. easily getting past their defenses, the Inhumans confront Ronan Keating, who was planning to put back Boyzone for a new tour. sorry, i meant Ronan the Accuser, who's currently the caretaker of his race because no one wants to.

Medusa actually insults Ronan with both the American and British variations of the finger

Ronan just actually wants to accuse; that's his day job. no more administration shit. hell, yeah, let's give it to the Inhumans.

and thus Blackagar consolidates his position in the universe.

end of story?


nope, you're forgetting the three Sh'iar warships obliterated during the course of these goals.

when Ed Brubaker crystallized the "third Summers brother" three years ago, we didn't think the character would become the "most annoying Summers brother ever" (and that includes Shatterstar, nyuknyuknyuk). Vulcan, currently in charge of the Sh'iar in his demented quest for revenge and is really the biggest asshole in the galaxy now that the Skrulls, Annihilus and the Ultron/Phalanx are gone, is quite bored with being emperor just presiding on colloseum games. he needs a challenge, and he's found one.

kudos to DnA for cranking out terrific space opera within the Marvel Universe, which had gone stale prior to 2006's Annihilation.


ok, let's say after this War of Kings, the Inhumans/Kree come out on top (and that's assuming even the Guardians of the Galaxy or Nova won't be able to get everybody to smoke the peace pipe), will war against Earth be next? hmmm ...

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Secret Invasion: War of Kings one-shot

checkmates

with Secret Invasion winding down, we look forward to next summer's crossover. this seems to be more along the lines of Annihilation, so am not sure what happens to the more-Earthbound heroes (a.k.a. Spidey).

as this poster suggests, it seems to boil down to a showdown between a revitalized Black Bolt and the Sh'iar emperor (and third Summers brother) Vulcan. this means the Inhumans rescue Black Bolt from the Skrulls, although will he still be their king, as his batshit crazy bro Maximus sits on the throne?

among other players, we have the Starjammers leading the resistance against Vulcan. The 'Jammers current leader is Havok, who took his dad's place after being killed by Vulcan/Gabriel. Alex is doubly pissed because he's no longer the youngest child, who always gets all the privileges.

there's also my favorite space cop Nova (sorry, Green Lanterns - his job is much harder because he's all alone policing the universes), who'll likely oppose Vulcan. i hope the Guardians of the Galaxy follow suit.