shadowboxing

drive-by readings

Shadowland #3 (Marvel) Andy Diggle Billy Tan Victor Olazaba Christina Strain Guru eFX Joe Caramagna John Cassaday/Laura Martin (cover) Tan/Olazaba/Guru eFX (variant cover)

what we learned: with the Ghost Rider sent by the Kingpin to rile things up in Shadowland, it basically turns a testy dialogue into an all-out punch-a-rama, broken up only by the guns of the now-unFrankencastled Punisher. Daredevil, miffed that his minions are not even worthy of battling the Pet Avengers, goes out to find his champion (hint: his name begins with a B and he's dead). Master Izo, the wiseass pint who started this shit in the first place, tells the heroes of the true power behind everything, because that dude right there is no longer Matt Murdock. well, let's see if Moon Knight can take him (oy, your woman's messed up).
oh shit moment: aside from Shang-Chi realizing he's not all that cracked up to be, it probably was when i realized who the hell Matt was digging up. nice revival there, Marvel. death never really means anything - they never try anymore.
what's next: Daredevil gets hornier. just to point out too, that because of scheduling issues, Shadowland #3 jumps in front of whatever you are reading about FrankenCastle, Shadowland: Moon Knight, and Shadowland: Daughters of the Shadow. hey, what are the odds that Bullseye is gonna be the next Man Without Fear?


Shang Chi never felt so embarrassed, not even during his first cancellation.

she's a man-eater!

drive-by readings

Immortal Weapons #4 (Marvel) "Tiger's Beautiful Daughter" Duane Swierczynski Khari Evans Victor Olazaba Allen Martinez June Chung Nate Piekos David Aja (cover)

another excellent Immortal Weapons origin story. too bad you can't make a movie out of these kickass peeps unless you introduce the whole Daniel Rand/Iron Fist/K'un L'un thing. or can you? in this issue, we learn that Tiger's Beautiful Daughter, real name Li Hua, is a young princess longing to be beside her father fighting wars to protect their city. tradition has it that women play the homemaking, nurturing role and leave the fighting to the men. or so they think. when an invading army starts slaughtering them, it is revealed that this horde broke a peace treaty after killing all their women - and it was the women who used to do the fighting (turns out Li Hua's mother was like their #1 badass). the role reversal forced the men, especially Li Hua's father, to invent war stories to keep the next generation safe and not provoke the bad guys. but since the latter just broke the treaty, the men of Li Hua's tribe are too soft to really defend their last moo goo gai pan. this forces Li Hua to fulfill her dreams of being a warrior and thus leads all the remaining women to defend themselves. shame on you men! even i felt emasculated reading this comic. almost. i mean, looking at the hot outfit Li Hua's wearing, and knowing she can beat me up easy ... whoooaaa.

drive-by readings: Guardians of the Galaxy #17

Guardians of the Galaxy #17 (Marvel) "Adam Magus" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Brad Walker Victor Olazaba Scott Hanna Jay David Ramos Joe Caramagna Daniel Acuna (cover)

just after the War of Kings, half of the Guardians need to take care of the aftershocks of Black Bolt's suicide bomb gambit. simply put, the resulting explosion opens a hole in the fabric of space and its widening every second. Rocket Raccoon takes his half of the team to lay the law down on the surviving Inhumans, but some Japanese tentacle shit starts pulling Attilan inside, forcing them to deal with that emergency. solving that, there's the matter of that hole. Warlock makes a last ditch attempt to hook this timestream onto another unused one (don't ask), but at what cost? ahh, the initial tally so far is a skewered Phylla-Vell (who it turns out, had her own agenda), a Gamora with potentially a snapped neck, and the terrifying Alice Cooper impersonator below:


Warlock, by grafting the current timeline to another (mentioned as one he's familiar with), he sacrifices himself as that other timeline is the one where he went nutso. my head hurts. please consult with Reed Richards, as i am sure he and his ilk would find a solution to this. not. nothing's ever easy for this team and so it should be.

by the way, one thing i enjoy with the whole Guardians revival is the comedy part, mostly revolving around Rocket Raccoon and his wisecracking. also, DnA cleverly explains why Groot keeps saying "I am Groot!" and it took the who-knows-when-he's-sane Maximus to make us understand. holy crap, that made sense.

drive-by readings: Amazing Spider-Man #603

The Amazing Spider-Man #603 (Marvel) "Red-Headed Stranger: Deconstructing Peter" Fred Van Lente Robert Atkins Victor Olazaba Jeromy Cox Joe Caramagna Stephane Roux (cover) Mike Mayhew (variant cover)

you know, this would have worked a wee bit better without the opening statement, giving away what could've been a great surprise for newbie readers, and perhaps a great delight to longtime ones, as they would figure it out along the way (assuming they didn't read the internet or the "next issue" blurb from #602. anyway, it was enjoyable opener for a long term ... what? this story concludes next issue? what the hell! think of the possibilities! can we not have JJJ replaced? or Osborn! it could a year's worth of issues!

drive-by readings: Immortal Weapons #1

Immortal Weapons #1 (Marvel) "The Book of the Cobra"/"Caretakers, Part 1" Jason Aaron Duane Swierczynski Mico Suayan Stefano Gaudiano Roberto De La Torre Khari Evans Victor Olazaba Michael Lark Arturo Lozzi Travel Foreman Nate Piekos Edgar Delgado Matt Hollingsworth Jelena Djurdjevic Jodi Wolff June Chung David Aja (cover)

screw the DC Universe Kobra, or the G.I. Joe Cobra. make mine Fat Cobra! it may or may not make them a bushel of money, but Marvel's Immortal Weapons, a spinoff series of the popular characters from Iron Fist (thanks to Messrs. Brubaker, Fraction and Aja) make for great reading. we can all figure that Fat Cobra has an eating problem, but who knew he had a semi-Forrest Gump streak in life, hanging out with Elvis, fighting side by side with Nick Fury, and siring Skrull children? holy humongous hogs! Fat Cobra has the most star power among the Weapons (save Danny Rand of course), but i hope the others will be fleshed out just as entertainingly.

Iron Fist fans (like me), fear not! a backup story is included in each ish (Caretakers). Danny goes back to his roots trying to save regular folk on a daily basis (nice touch with Misty co-teaching in his dojo). they may not be Heroes for Hire in that sense anymore, but they're "heroes" with a fuller meaning.

drive-by readings: Guardians of the Galaxy #15

Guardians of the Galaxy #15 (Marvel) Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Brad Walker Victor Olazaba Livesay Jay David Ramos Chris Eliopoulos Salvador Larocca (cover)

past the fisticuffs resulting from being caught in between hostile Sh'iar Imperial Guard and the angry Inhumans/Kree, this issue merely rates an OK overall. sure there were some nice moments, like Warlock cutting loose (yeeech), the ad hoc Guardians always finding a way despite being overmatched, and of course Peter Quill's deadpan-in-the-face-of-death quips. i still give kudos to the writing team for managing the story and the schedules well - this should be a terrific trade paperback.

you know what might've prevented the War of Kings? a Michael Jackson concert. word.

that's what you call a melee!

Guardians of the Galaxy vs the Inhumans vs the Shi'ar Imperial Guard - hoooooooo-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!


Dark Reign what? X-Men who?
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Guardians of the Galaxy #14

drive-by readings 023409

Guardians of the Galaxy #10 (Marvel) "Blastaared" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Brad Walker Victor Olazaba Livesay Wil Quintana Joe Caramagna Clint Langley (cover)

i love team books. and i love team books that feature fractured teams that come together a lot more! Rocket Raccoon successfully leads the Guardians in a snatch-and-grab of erstwhile leader Starlord right from Blastaar and his hordes. i'm salivating at the part where Warlock, Gamora, Drax, Heather and Nova rejoin them in time for War of Kings. DnA hasn't let us down so far, and i expect greater things down the road.

right smack in the middle of crap

well, that describes where the current members of the Guardians of the Galaxy are, right now. the good news is, they found their missing erstwhile leader Peter Quill a.k.a. Space Star Lord, who's in trapped in the Negative Zone with Blastaar The Headcase from Too Many Bomb-Bursts. the bad news: they teleported right into the middle of Blastaar's marauding invasion horde headed for Earth.

(thanks a lot, Reed and Tony, for building that stupid prison with two-way teleport facilities).

"middle of crap" also describes where President Obama (what, Colbert didn't win?? LOL) is in right now, and i'm not even talking reality. in keeping with his nature of keeping a cool head and engaging in dialogue and negotiation, the Prez invites current psycho head of American security Norman Osborn aboard Air Force One and face charges of murder from evidence provided by Doc Len Samson. being the brilliant shrink that he is, Samson is completely caught off-guard as Osborn completely takes control of the situation and provides a stunning dog-and-pony show that is sure to stack the odds in his favor and completely discredit his detractors. thanks a lot, Len. fine help you are, useless prick.

oh, and fuck you, Osborn - fuck. you.

(actually, that's more of a complimentary jab at Andy Diggle - he's put me through a lot of wringers during The Losers. good times.)

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Guardians of the Galaxy #9, Thunderbolts #128

X-terminated

oi!!!

its the conclusion of Messiah CompleX storyline over in X-Men #207, and the world (and our merry mutants) is/are stunned as a rogue Bishop shoots down Ol' Baldie, Chuck Xavier himself.

oh, who are we kidding? Xavier died already several times in the past, at the least regaining/losing the use of his legs as well. we just need Lilandra to get back the Shi'ar Empire and use their technology to bring Xavier back to life again. what's that, Havok? issue #5 of Emperor Vulcan is still going to press? how about those alien jerks in Astonishing X-Men? didn't they revive a dead Cyclops? what, no continuity links between those two? how do you explain Colossus, hmmmm??

here's a curious scene. look carefully, don't blink and you tell me where Xavier's body went.

huh? huh?

well anyway, Chuck's "death", as it were, is the convenient premise for the next storyline, Divided We Stand, and it just means we are just fish that can't fight the hook. damn you, Mike Carey!

but what i really wanna know is ... what the hell's up with Bishop? (yeah i hope no one forget that itty bitty part)

ps. props to everyone for kicking Marauder ass.

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X-Men #207
Mike Carey/Chris Bachalo/Tim Townsend/Victor Olazaba/Jon Sibal/Al Vey