Spidey and his Fantastic Friends

FF #2 "Doom Nation"
Amazing Spider-Man #659 "Fantastic Voyage, Part 1 of 2"

and here i thought these two were linked story-wise; turns out its not. i totally enjoyed both anyway.

right after the drafting of now-accomplished nerd Spider-Man as Johnny's replacement, Jonathan Hickman surprised me by bringing Doom into the equation. well, not really because this was hinted back in earlier issues. i just thought he was going to join the Future Foundation as a tenuous member, a la Magneto in the current X-Men. maybe he still is, because he's not one to miss an opportunity to tout his intelligence (at least by the end of this issue). however, Reed should be more worried about Valeria (whom Doom named, in her revised origin), who seems to be getting or causing more trouble than Franklin when he was her age. she's probably too smart for her own good.

even as distracted as Reed can be, i don't think he would easily forget that was how Tony Stark came back to his proper senses in the recent Siege. oh well.

so, dumb-as-a-rock Doom ostensibly made a deal with Valeria to help him recover from his brain damage and be back to being the scumbag genius that he is, and they manage to do so, by copying some files from Doom ward Kristoff's own noggin. interestingly, Reed makes the moral if difficult decision to go along with it, even when given the chance to get rid of his longtime arch-enemy permanently. and what's the price Valeria demands? for Doom to defeat her dad. uhhh, what?

super-nerd Parker, also not a fan of Doom, at least is honest about cracking jokes regardless.

there's more to this than meets the eye, though. the next issue's preview show the return of the well-meaning yet blinded Reeds, and maybe that's what Doom needs (or Valeria wants Doom) to beat.

over in Spidey's own book, the foursome take a journey to an island they had visited early in their original incarnation, where Ben played Blackbeard the Pirate and get some gems back to a tiger-stroking Doom (heh) who had Sue as a hostage. anyway, some radioactive anomaly is emanating from this island and geeks just need to investigate radioactive anomalies.

funnily, with the attack-happy locals exercising their fear of strangers, its the FF's reputation that saves them (or is it the other way around). Dan Slott and Fred Van Lente continue their knack for snappy hilarious patter, which makes me wonder why they didn't get them to write Spider-Man a loooong time ago.

ending up fighting zombie pirates (eh?), the fun gets doubled as Benjie reprises his award-winning role, courtesy of Mr. Parker's quick thinking.

just like over in Avengers, we see that our heroes end up cleaning after old foes (think Spidey's rogues gallery ... his best baddies, minus the Goblin of course). with the promise of more ass-kicking, errr ... booty-kicking next issue, i can't wait!

FF story: A-  art: A-
ASM story: A+ art: A

why is Fantomex swinging from a web and hanging with the F3?

because that's not Fantomex, idiot. that's your friendly neighbor Spider-Man (who went from zero groups to two majors - next up, X-Men and Guardians of the Galaxy). and Jonathan Hickman's about to wow us even more (like he hasn't already with S.H.I.E.L.D.)

bring on Herbie! not.

bye, Johnny. see you next year.

brother grimm

drive-by readings

Fantastic Four #584 (Marvel) "Three Part Two: Congratulations, Mr. Grimm. You're Handsome Again!" Jonathan Hickman Steve Epting Paul Mounts Rus Wooton Alan Davis/Mark Farmer/Javier Rodriguez (cover)

what we learned: this title has been gathering steam and now its clicking on all cylinders, with Jonathan Hickman bringing all the previously-introduced elements slowly to bear. Sue takes charge to be an ambasadress for the Atlantean tribes (Angelina Jolie!), and Reed may be in trouble with the Surfer. for the best part, he also finds a way to revive the 'can we make Ben Grimm human again' record and get away with it, with him and Johnny painting the town red (hey, Stan!), tangling with a retooled Yancy Street Gang (that was a hoot), and having a tender moment with Alicia (aaaawwwww).
oh shit moment: uh ... Galactus?
what's next: always expect the Fantastic. Hickman brings the wow every month. someone also draw up divorce papers for the Richards couple.

hey, me too!

pig newton

drive-by readings

S.H.I.E.L.D. #3 (Marvel) "Chapter Three: The Theory of Eternal Life" Jonathan Hickman Dustin Weaver Christina Strain/Justin Ponsor Todd Klein Gerald Parel/Weaver (cover)

what we learned: even though you're a history buff or have no interest in it whatsoever, you will be sufficiently intrigued by this brainy series, and chances are, you won't be able to peel all the layers Hickman serves in one or two readings. Isaac Newton, recruited into SHIELD, realizes the future means much more science than what is laid before him, and so delves into the dark side, regardless of the cost.
oh shit moment: i froze when i realized that was Newton performing miscegenation with a Deviant (Ikaris does not approve!), or that he actually whacked Galileo (when i say "whack", i mean in a Mafia sense). interestingly, Galileo passed away in 1642, while Newton was born that same year. go figure. oh, and Nostradamus was kept alive as Newton's personal clairvoyant. oh, and if you still have a sliver of faith left in the Catholic Church, the roots of this event, delineated in the archive pages, will wipe that out.
what's next: the resurrected Leonardo da Vinci and Leonid square off against the apple guy (no, not Steve Jobs!).


take that, you racist bastards!

always be covering

drive-by readings

S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 (Marvel) "The Unholy Resurrection of Leonardo da Vinci" Jonathan Hickman Dustin Weaver Christina Strain Todd Klein Gerald Parel (cover) this is a book that should have been made a longtime ago, yet you still get the feeling that the timing is right nevertheless. in unveiling its true origins, S.H.I.E.L.D. finally comes out of the shadows and as a 'supporting ensemble character' in the 616 U, and becomes a much more important player as an organization. Jonathan Hickman crafts a tale that stretches as far back as the days of the pharaohs, and we see the unofficial inspiration for a global protector in Imhotep, who defeats a Brood invasion. then each generation of mankind had its own protectors, and uncannily the wise men of their times - Zhang Heng (who faces off against a Celestial), Leonardo da Vinci, Galileo, to name a few. this is all revealed by S.H.I.E.L.D.'s high council to a man named Leonid, in 1953 Rome, and he's their newest recruit. however, his dad's a supervillain called the Night Machine, and was even killed once by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents Starks and Richards (fathers of you-know-whos, apparently). this tells us that Leonid has some kind of powers too, that may or may not be beneficial to S.H.I.E.L.D. (damn, its hard typing that thing all the time). complemented by artwork of Dustin Weaver, Hickman's newest salvo harkens back to his Nightly News days, but with much more accessibility. it might even convert those who are allergic to history.

snaps: Fantastic Four #576

... where we meet the representatives of water, whereas last week we met the denizens of the deep earth. waaaaaaaaait a minute, i see where you're going here, Jon Hickman! so you are telling me, that the three races of old as created by those smug Celestials were not Eternals, Deviants and humans? geddouddaheah!!

Johnny Storm ... loves the winter.


yes, yes ... you forgot making blockbuster movies!!!


Sue confessing to having an affair with a student, in front of students.


this is the Man vs. Wild episode we weren't supposed to see.


male chauvinist pigs all over the world suddenly collapsed from simultaneous heart attacks.

war is a many-tentacled thing

drive-by readings

Secret Warriors #12 (Marvel) "Wake The Beast" Jonathan Hickman Stefano Caselli Sunny Gho Dave Lanphear Jimmy Cheung/Mark Morales/Justin Ponsor (cover) i don't know if other readers of this book kind of feels it like it ran out of steam in its last few issues. i like that Nick Fury took it upon himself to try and save the world on his own terms, recruiting his Secret Warriors and reforming the Howling Commandos. but there's too much going on, and this title is no longer "just" the Secret Warriors anymore. it was manageable when it was just Fury and his kids. now they're taking on Hydra, Leviathan and good knows who else, and with it the inevitable bureaucracy that running an organization entails. it doesn't help that Nick Fury sits there, lectures and he has like 46 scenarios running through his brain and you know he'll win eventually. for someone who went underground, his presence is practically everywhere - he recently helped Bucky Barnes get a new hand but hasn't renewed ties with Steve Rogers yet. i await the eventual sitdown between Fury, the resurrected Tony Stark, the two Captain Americas, Thor, and the rest of the Avengers. if this doesn't happen, i will protest in front of the Marvel offices until they do. oh wait, what happens in this issue? Leviathan captures Viper in search of the "Box" (maybe they should go to Utopia and look up Madison Jeffries?), and Hydra thinks there's a traitor in their midst, which would work well for Fury. both also have secret weapons to be unveiled. there's also a sidestory with Stonewall and Yo-Yo visiting Stonewall's Supermax-resident dad - Crusher Creel, presumably which happens after he got his ass kicked in Mighty Avengers #33. but again this thread is overshadowed by everything else that's going on.

cue in Guns N' Roses: "i used to love her ... but i had to kill her ..."


Gorgon wassn't too enthusiastic about this new acupuncture technique.

snaps: Fantastic Four #575

... where the Mole Man enlists our fearless foursome to help him ... am not really sure what for. there's this underground city that used to be inhabited by the High Evolutionary, and now it's rising up, and whoever stays within its limits becomes super intelligent. so it rises up, the US is in an uproar, and Ben Grimm may just, just maybe, become at par with Reed Richards in the smarts department.

and the cover of course, has no connection whatsoever with the story inside.


oh my, Princess Leia ... you look different.


get out!! he's a geneticist?? i thought he built a chain of hotels!


umm ... weren't you in New York ... where there's no fault line? (apparently there is.)


the best way to beat Galactus as always, is to starve him.


what are the chances that devolved children living miles beneath the earth's surface, speak English?


shut up, Steve Jobs!! Reed Richards had the HomePad even before your iPad was launched!!

snaps: Fantastic Four #574

... where we celebrate Franklin's nth birthday (we can't tell 'cause Suzie's gonna encase our heads in an airless bubble if we do), with friends, powerless and otherwise. also, apparently, Dale Eaglesham took a break so we're getting substandard art here. and oh, get ready to go back 13 years.

1) call the FDNY!! Herbie's on fire!!!


2) the number is 41. Franklin Richards is 41. whodathunk!?


3) J. Jonah Jameson, for one day, let go of his Spideyphobia.


4) holy God! are these kids or adults!?! where's June Brigman when you need her??


5) like X-Men Forever and Clone Saga wasn't enough to regurgitate. now we get Heroes Reborn too??

Fury's 11

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Secret Warriors one shot (Marvel) "Leviathan" Jonathan Hickman Ed McGuinness Chris Sotomayor Dave Lanphear Tom Palmer McGuinness/Dexter Vines/John Rauch (cover)

should we still call them "Secret Warriors"? Nick Fury practically operates in the open these days (to the chagrin of Contessa LaFontaine), and he has two teams already at his disposal - his Warriors, and the reborn/reconstructed Howling Commandos. all he needs is a YouTube channel and a Twitter page.

so breaking in Avengers tower (with some help from Ares - what, is he another Fury plant, that kind of trick that beats us over our head with "hey-am-20-steps-ahead-of-everyone-else"? NO. we have to read Secret Warriors #9 on sale 10/28/2009. whooopeee.) and appearing in your current enemy's bedroom (creepy - why can't he just call? what if Norman had a date?), smacks of not-so-secret for me. and for what? to steal something under H.A.M.M.E.R.'s nose. that really paints that target on you, Nicky Boy.

and that something actually tells us that ... oh hey, is the Zodiac in this gig? and Nick is Gemini? oh yeah, he was, years back. 'cause his dead brother Jake was Scorpio. or is. i smell resurrection!!!!

by the way, Norman, a couple of things:

everyone seems to be penetrating the Tower these days ... change the goddamn locks. or go live on the moon.

let me just present your fandangled "list":
- neutralize Clint Barton
- eliminate Daredevil
- kill Namor
- kill Frank Castle
- kill Nick Fury
- neutralize Bruce Banner
- control the world
- kill Spider-Man

that's just 1 out of 8 so far (Barton, you hotheaded punk, you never change). Frank's probably smug he's on the list. i don't see Tony Stark in there. he's probably dead. or dumb as a rock.

only Santa has a list that works.

drive-by readings: Secret Warriors #7/Thunderbolts #135

Secret Warriors #7/Thunderbolts #135 (Marvel) "God of Fear, God of War"/"Black Widow vs. Thunderbolts" Jonathan Hickman/Andy Diggle Alessandro Vitti/Miguel Sepulveda Sunny Gho/Frank Martin Dave Lanphear/Albert Deschesne Jim Cheung/Justin Ponsor/Francisco Mattina (cover)

Marvel's improving somewhat in keeping their stories straight in recent years, and these two are a nice example of that (thank the editors). after the revelation that the Thunderbolt Black Widow Yelena Belanova was really the original, Natasha, the rest of the Thunderbolts have come after her and erstwhile T-Bolt leader Songbird. a crossover with the Secret Warriors was necessary because ol' Nick Fury himself put Natasha in that position to spy on Norman Osborn. unaware they were being trailed by the always-heinous Ant Man, Black Widow demonstrates to Songbird why the new Yankee Stadium is one overpriced magilla. too bad, Fury appears and they're all captured in one swell foop by the T-Bolts and presented to a gloating Osborn (previously hired by now-i'm-dead-now-i'm-alive Baron Strucker to kill Fury). but don't despair, True Believers! prior to this, Fury activates Agent John Garrett, and if we know Papa Nick, he's always two or three steps ahead of everyone else. even if he gets shot in the head. wait, ... what?!?

drive-by readings: Fantastic Four #570

Fantastic Four #570 (Marvel) "Solve Everything, Part One" Jonathan Hickman Dale Eaglesham Paul Mounts Rus Wooton John Cassaday/Laura Martin (variant cover)

once again, hubris rears its ugly head. but then again, Reed Richards wouldn't be Reed Richards if he wasn't like this, no? and therein lies the conundrum. for all his smarts, he hasn't made the world a better place to live in. they still got villains running amuck, the Negative Zone still a hotbed of revolution, three cosmic wars just occured, Steve Rogers is lost in time, Norman Osborn is in charge, and even the 616 mutant equivalent of AIDS was solved by Hank McCoy (subsequently rendered moot by those Breakworld aliens). so what does he do for an encore? well, just keep on choppin', that's what. to this end, he built a great machine (oooh, it always starts from those things) allowing him to calculate answers to impossible and even better, reach out to entities who apparently, share his line of thinking. is it a surprise then, that they ... are all him? and these Reeds from different realities and pocket universes - they also seem to have the Infinity Gems in their possession. hey let's play a game: who would win - the Infinity Gems or the Cosmic Cube? the answer is, neither. the Beyonder always wins.

Jonathan Hickman has posited some interesting ideas. let us take a ride with him.

drive-by readings: Secret Warriors #5

Secret Warriors #5 (Marvel) Brian Michael Bendis/span> Jonathan Hickman Stefano Caselli Daniele Rudoni Dave Lanphear Jimmy Cheung/Justin Ponsor (cover)

well, this is what the S.H.I.E.L.D. gig turned out to be. Nick Fury goes into paranoia overdrive, manipulates a few heroes to take out Latveria, gets disgraced and quits, comes back with new super recruits to repel the Skrull Invasion (like that helped), sees his old outfit decommissioned and rebuilt into Norman Osborn's public army, and now all this time he's been fighting a regenerated Hydra. if he got paid by the hour, that's USD35M @ $1K/hour in back pay, not counting medical benefits. he's still underpaid by Wall Street standards.

speaking of renumeration, how is he gonna pay the salaries of some twelve hundred ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. loyalists, whom he just deployed to attack a former base to retrieve their helicarriers. of course he knows this is also to draw Hydra into the open, thereby multiplying their opponent-to-good-guy ratio like around 10 to 1. make that 20 to 1 'cause Hydra's guys are kinda superpowered too. hazard pay? what hazard pay? its easy for Fury to say "if it was gonna be easy, it wouldn't be any fun now, would it?", because he has the goddamn Infinity Formula running through his veins. prick. maybe we should change the title of the book to Nick Fury: Secret Warrior, as Daisy and the gang are only shown in one panel all issue.

i'm guessing Stefano Caselli's strength is not splash pages that need some detailed backgrounds. he's done a great job with Avengers: The Initiative which netted him this gig, and i like his action shots, although sometimes the faces look alike from one to the other, giving you the sense that it was rushed. otherwise, this is still a solid issue (and series overall), with Marvel making good use of its rich library of (albeit perpetually-resurrected) characters.

alive

well, well ... it seems one of the movies i wished to be made would never be made now, would it? (like it ever was going to be)



heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's alive!!!!!

wait, how is the Baron Strucker himself alive? what did i miss??

(the Hand is an uh, old hand at resurrection so why should we be surprised? i kinda had a Kirigi flashback, circa Miller-era Daredevil ... brrrrrrrrrrr)

update: what i missed - was an issue of T-Bolts detailing the beheaded version was a clone .... hey, Marvel, stop with the resurrections already!!! that's already three reversals from that same Wolverine story arc. who's next? Steve Rogers? Jean Grey? geeez. these people.
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Secret Warriors #2

Secret Warriors, yeah, that's what we are

this just in: Nick Fury disses the Oval Office! (with Barack in it)

and who can blame the man? rampant corruption and skrullduggery (heh) have happened, and the US is tottering on economic disaster, and a psycho is now in charge of the asylum (Osborn, not Obama, wiseass). honor is a long-gone concept with the death of Steve Rogers, so Fury has gone deeper underground (heh) but not that deep enough to pop up in scenic places like the White House. (did Michelle shake his hand as he appeared in the kitchen?)

(wait, how do we know that was His Barryness? that could be Osborn for all we know. they usually draw him in shadow, the exception being that Spider-Man issue and maybe that one in Thunderbolts. hey wait, wasn't he stuck with the Osborn and the "Green Goblin" in Air Force One? Marvel, you're as bad as DC with scheduling).

with his new band of caterpillars soldiers, Fury wants to take back Sundays, i mean take the world back from all these crazy people. actually, everyone wants to do that. at least the disenfranchised good guys (hello, Clint Barton). and other people just want their slice of the pie (hello, Agents of Atlas). so, would this status quo stay as long as a summer crossover? or would we have around two years worth of drama (and time to write potentially great stories), before things really come to a head, and a huge global revolution would come together to topple Norman Osborn?


"you wish, rookie. now drop and give me a hundred - with no hands!"


i watched Stefano Caselli's art evolve over his tour of duty in Avengers: The Initiative, but now he's overdoing the eyes. they're overexpressive. good thing Fury only has one.

(wait, how's this for a shocker - Fury's eyes are really ok!!!! he just wears that patch to scare the kids and look badass. no, seriously! i mean, they brought Bucky Barnes back!)


so in between taking credit for badass quotes and sending kids off to battle, what does li'l Nicky do for fun? nothing much. the Contessa was a Skrull ... wait, no, he dissed her and walked away even when the real deal came back from Skrullworld. i bet he keeps just a wee bit more tabs on Daisy Johnson. no, you didn't hear it from me!


oh yeah, this just in: Nick Fury works for Hydra.

wait, ... what?

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Secret Warriors #1