you hit like a girl! #6

this episode is all about the late, (un?)lamented Danger Girl series.

a brainchild of J. Scott Campbell and Andy Hartnell, Danger Girl was a walking, running, jumping and punching cliché, borrowing heavily from established pop culture world, from James Bond to Indiana Jones. three sexy female superspies? Campbell drawing?? get outta here! Danger Girl was a success from the get go!

until of course, Campbell started missing deadlines (and that was even before PS3/XBox), and the original series finally wrapped - a total of seven issues! - after spanning two US administrations. the publishers probably threatened Campbell with jail time and no video game privileges if he didn't finish the series.

through the years, there was a smattering of DG sightings, none as stylish and exciting as the original run. in as much as i would like someone like Greg Land or Greg Horn illustrating Abbey, Sydney et al, i'm not sure if it will be true to the fun spirit of the concept. oh well. let's take what we can get. maybe someday ...

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the series had the girls mostly using guns, their wits and the environment around them to save the day. however, there are some great times when you have to do things mano-a-mano ... as demonstrated here by Abbey Chase ...

... or pie-a-cara, courtesy of Sydney Savage ...


or pies-a-cara, from the third Danger Girl who eventually became a villain, Natalia Kassle.

in the regular series, a common punching bag was the douchebag known as Donovin Conrad. i think he spent of his screentime being humiliated by girls, especially headliner Abbey Chase.

Abbey gets another crack at the debonair loser


while Natalia makes it three (and dislodging his hairpiece)


if there's any doubt about Abbey's hotness, this should all put your fears to rest.


whether barely clothed or not, Abbey has no problem dishing the hurt.

despite the popularity of the blonde Abbey, my favorite has always been the Australian, leather-clad, whip-snapping Sydney Savage. as you can see, she loves using her feet to get her point across.

she can even take two at a time


but having some help always has its advantages.

i'm not sure if having two sexy girls manhandle you is a good thing, or bad. some people like to think its the former.

of course, the Danger Girls do not limit themselves to hitting the opposite sex.


its nice to see some girl-on-girl action once in a while.


of course, they even do it amongst themselves.


damn. Sydney got PWND twice. damn!

of course, there's the fourth (unofficial) member, Silicon Valerie (stop laughing and wait till she grows up - and fills out), who can only dream for now of being a full-fledged operative. in the meantime, she still dreams of paralyzing mutant gorillas.

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taken from Danger Girl: Original Series, Danger Girl Special, Back in Black, Hawaiian Punch, Viva Las Danger

iHaul (Wk 18+19)

hey, there! sorry, last week was just too busy. plus i do have a life too. ummm ... not!

anyway, here's a bunch of notable books that caught my eye in the past few days.

	This Fraction guy is getting his legs. don't even get me started with his cool-as-a-dragon-tattoo Iron Fist. a continuing examination of the ramifications of Peter's decision re Civil War, "To Have and To Hold" doesn't yield much action except his rescue of MJ from the clutches of S.H.I.E.L.D. foot agents. interspersed with blasts from the past (story and art from a Spidey era gone by), this one stands up with the best of 'em and won't make you feel it reads like a chick flick with all its sappy goodness (well, maybe some of you cynical geeks who never had a girlfriend - boooooo!).
Sensational Spider-Man Annual #1 Matt Fraction, Salvador Larroca
Peter just added loitering to his list of crimes

	two Marvel characters that annoy me and need to be put down for good: Quicksilver (Pietro Maximoff) and Black Bolt's loony bro Maximus. the former for starting this cold war between the humans and Inhumans, and the latter for figuring in just about every conflict that the Inhumans faced. that being said, it was clever to use the morally-challenged Pietro to start this crap (stealing the Terrigen Mists which eventually winds up in the hands of the US government, who's always the poster boy for the paranoid and narrow-minded). and what's with Black Bolt losing it? i've always been interested with the Inhumans (especially the Paul Jenkins/Jae Lee run), and this one does not disappoint.
SILENT WAR #4 David Hine, Frazer Irving
"betcha couldn't kiss like that without killing her huh?"

	after kicking myself for not getting Simone Bianchi's autograph at the 2007 NY Comic Con, while he was just walking around most of the time, and they were giving away free copies of #50, i just hunkered down and checked what was this latest Sabretooth-Wolverine scratchfest was all about. the whole thing started with a rehash of the classic claw-popping, face-slashing Wolverine #90. and its already 2007 and we're still having this conversation. deep in Wakanda, someone takes the imprisoned Sabretooth and makes short work of Logan too. and there's this issue of evolution that man came from dogs. like Logan said, "what the @#$%?!?!"
WOLVERINE #53 Jeph Loeb, Simone Bianchi, Andrea Silvestri
gone are the days when Vic used to say "you're dead, meat!"

	having never seen any of the Child's Play movies (should i?), i'm not sure what made me pick up this indie comic crossover of one Cassie Hack, slasher to the slashers, and that unkillable bastard doll. turns out its a fun piece - i guess we're all closet fans of those slasher movies back in the day. some weirdo chick wants to create zombies and switches bodies with Cassie's strongman pal Vlad in the process. since said chick stole the amulet to do her shtick from Chucky, it goes to the 'enemy of my enemy' scenario. but not before fighting with each other several times. although eventually, that's where its gonna end up. if someone wants to make a movie of out of this, and they get Jennifer Love Hewitt to play the role of Cassie (please, please, please say yes, Jen!), i'm in!
HACK/SLASH vs. CHUCKY #1 Tim Seeley, Matt Merhoff
"this is so NOT the sex doll i ordered!"

	if Andy Hartnell wants to hook more readers into this new Danger Girl incarnation, he should do better than this. alright, so we have some nut named Arthur Franco who's holding the Master Key (and i'm the nut who's holding my TV's Remote Control) and threatening the free world (with what? oh that's right ... remote-detonating their nuclear arsenals). and that's why he wants the US President in exchange (if its set to current times, i'm sure its not to preserve Bush's brain for posterity). we also have Johnny back, but he's with the Special Forces and sort of still with Syd. of course the cover has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at all. and the teaser sequences like the on below seem more forced than a natural smile -inducer. good thing i don't have to drop another $2.99 to check out the next issue.
Danger Girls; Body Shots #2 Andy Hartnell, Nick Bradshaw, Jim Charalampidis
you could say Homeland Security is ... handling things too well.

	continuing the Mandarin (re)resurrection, Director Tony has no choice but to conduct an illegal yet necessary covert strike (against his policy of transparency) into the heart of Mongolia to find out what's up with a terrorist who has connections with all the bio-tech terrorism popping up all over the world. too bad he's too late - Najeeb has been dead for awhile and the trail's cold. well, he's dead and also been implanted with some weird alien creature. or something. speaking of implants, the new improved Mandarin seems to have taken piercing to a new level. fascinating political thriller from the Knauf Bros. - kinda like if Tom Clancy worked with Marvel.
IRON MAN #17 Daniel/Charles Knauf, Roberto De La Torre, Jonathan Sibal, Karl Kesel, Cam Smith
stop the presses! T-Stark gets down and dirty.

	let me get this straight. M.O.D.O.K. is dying, the cure could come from a DNA bomb, half of A.I.M. wants him dead, the Scientist Supreme most of all, someone in Ms. Marvel's Lightning Storm team is feeding M.O.D.O.K. info, and A.I.M. keeps hiding the DNA bomb in Calabi-Yau spheres, six extra dimensions in space which only Stephen Hawking-types can understand. you got all that? good. because we need the next issue to find out how all things come together. over me. seriously, Brian Reed opens up something for you nerds out there. someone oughta write a Dummies guide soon so you can hide your porn from your mom. or your wife.
Ms. Marvel #15 Brian Reed, Aaron Lopresti, Matt Ryan
right. if this happened, they wouldn't have any stitch of clothing on. duh.

iHaul (Wk 14)

a sampling from last week.

	well, look who's back. and look who's gone as well. Andy Hartnell soldiers on, without J. Scott Campbell, who really draws the definitive DG. the girls are once again called into action, looking for the mysterious (huh?) Master Key, which supposedly shouldn't fall into any hands (except DG's). on the opposite side, there's another badass femme fatale on a collision course with Abbey et al. think for a moment if Greg Rucka or Mike Bendis wrote this. and then we'll holler: Mr. Campbell, please come back!
Danger Girl: Body Shots #1	Andy Hartnell, Nick Bradshaw, Jim Charalampidis
i thought that was what they meant by 'boob tube'

	never read much of this Joe Q-Jimmy P creation; suffice it to say, she was part of the Bad Girl revolution of the mid-90s (all you fanboys drool and wave your mint collection). but just like DG above, if you're going to bring back the character, give it the visual ooomph it deserves. and Vampirella and Lady Death are still around, right? can't you throw money at Adam Hughes? or Terry Dodson? so we have Jane getting tattooed (literally) and ending up in the middle of a firefight between a stupid punk and dealers and cops. next!
Painkiller Jane #0	Jimmy Palmiotti, Lee Moder
ok, i have no excuse for this

	i have three words for you: Too. Many. Avengers. is this your version of martial law? who's to say the E.U. won't form its own superhero army? will superhero boot camp be the answer to loose cannons? as long as the government has an agenda, i don't care how noble Tony Stark's intentions are - this isn't gonna work. what happens when they need to go against the government? will they stage a coup d'etat? i'm sure these questions have been churning in the mind of the happiest man on Earth, Mr. Dan Slott. hi, Dan!
Avengers: The Initiative #1	Dan Slott, Stefano Caselli
what happens, indeed?

	continuing the cash-raking event that is Civil War; Marvel has made out like Tony Stark here - you 'War' profiteers! anyway, does anybody know if Gerry Alanguilan is still alive? because Leinil Yu's art needs him. badly. unless you're slacking off, Leinil. c'mon, do us Pinoys proud once more. at least he's not being a Joe Mad or a J. Scott Campbell. anyhoo, Wolverine has infiltrated the morgue twice already. and each time, he finds out Cap's not there or not alive. just read my blog, Logan. Cap's alive in these pages.
Fallen Son: Wolverine #1	Jeph Loeb, Leinil Yu
this is going to happen: someone frames Stark, then they duke it out. $$$!

	after years of trying to figure out what to do with that bunch of goofy Canadians, Marvel finally killed them off. but they retained that symbol of hardy Canuck spirit, Wolverine. oh, sorry, i meant Sasquatch. and make him the leader of a final Flight - before the USA thinks they're wimps and take over their country too. bad news: American bad guys are running amok. worse news: Omega Flight is to be composed of expat Yanks. worst news: Scott Kolins is drawing the series.
Omega Flight #1	Michael Avon Oeming, Scott Kolins
screenshot of Chewbacca vs. Stormtroopers in the latest Tekken

	oy! there's too much cash cows mooing in the meadows. i don't know how they even got Ash and the Army of Darkness in here, but its all for fun, picking up where that out-of-nowhere hit Marvel Zombies left off (Robert Kirkman himself is a 'consultant'). but really, aren't you sick of the walking dead already? i can already foresee them making Marvel vs DC: Zombies. now that's a cash cow! (pssst, Mr. Art Suydam, nice retouch on that classic Jim Lee X-Men cover)
Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness #2	John Layman, Fabiano Neves
like the kid in Meet The Fockers said: "ASH-hooo!"