resistance is futile. no, not really.

drive-by readings

Green Lantern Corps #50 (DC) "Revolt of the Alpha Lanterns Part 3" Tony Bedard Ardian Syaf Vicente Cifuentes Randy Mayor Carrie Strachan Steve Wands Patrick Gleason/John Dell/Mayor (variant cover)

what we learned: the Cyborg Superman (the anti-thesis of regular comic characters because he wants to die and he can't) is still up to his shenanigans (well, give him credit, he does want to kill himself) and goes through a convoluted plan to turning Lanterns into Alpha Lanterns just to attract the attention of ex-Guardian-now-Lantern Ganthet. hmmmmm, so who's the mysterious dude who told Henshaw these things?
oh shit moment: Ardian Syaf goofs on Ganthet's hand - i mean correct me if i'm wrong (see below).
what's next: paging Dr. Kevorkian!! we have been paging you since 1992, dammit!!


yes, you're right. no, your left.

you hit like a girl #20

hell, why not make it a three for three?




if you look closely, Kara has her eyes open. and she's slightly smiling. i'd say she's checking out the package, but that's just me.


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Magog #6

Dick hitting on a bigger dick

ok, ok, the title was way out of line ...

a souped-up, or should we say Suped-up Batman lets the power get to his head, a cliche as he likens it, and goes wild in the dispensing of justice in the world. everything's black and white, when he used to operate in shades of gray.

and he gets a boot in his smug face courtesy of his former ward.

of course, Dick only gets so far before The SuperBat administers a beatdown worthy of Chris Brown (k-ching!).


by the way, isn't it when you say "pick someone your own size", it means you're on equal terms with the person you're saying it to, because that person was bullying somebody smaller?

if so, Dick is wrong because Bruce is a bigger dick than him. am i right or am i right?


quitting the lame comedy routine now ...

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Superman/Batman #55

power trip

cliffhangers of the week!

i think before i even turned the page, i knew who the hell was messing with their minds.



and for our second cliffhanger, its nice to see the Bat powered for a change (which means the outcome is still the same: a Superman beatdown).


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X-Men: Worlds Apart #1, Superman/Batman #53

screen capture, part 4

continuing our fantasy list of favorite comicbook storyline-turned-movies!

i want the movie industry to make films for us geeks. there are only two conditions - throw money at everything and write it the way the fans want it. some of them may need an origin movie first, but either way, this is a fantasy casting call for my favorite TPBs.

check out the previous posts:
10. Invincible
9. Empire
8. Ultron Unlimited
7. The Authority: Circle
6. Superman: Red Son


5. JLA: THE MARTIAN TRILOGY

This one needs to be done Lord of the Rings style, with all the details and battles rendered faithfully. there's some leeway in which Green Lantern character would be used (Kyle, John or Hal). otherwise, these are some the greatest Justice League adventures ever and translating them to the big screen should be an event. no, three huge events!

NEW WORLD ORDER
Grant Morrison/Howard Porter/John Dell

excuse Superman's long hair. this was written way back in the 90s, when Grant Morrison's excellent reboot made the League relevant again. it actually starts in a world without one - the tricky part now is whether intro movies need to be made for each individual character that still don't have theirs (a-la the much-teased about Avengers), before this impromptu team up bring them all together.

several superpowered beings land on Earth, call themselves the Hyperclan, and they start going out of their way to help the planet - ending wars, starvation, disease - you name it. they probably even offed annoying celebrities (that means you, Oprah, Paris etc.). but oh, they have a hidden agenda. they're White Martians you see, and they're just as powerful as Superman or J'onn J'onnz, their closest relative. Earth needs its heroes. ASAP.

casting call:
Superman - in Red Son, i called Ben Affleck to don the cape. unless anyone has a better idea, he's the one.


Wonder Woman - okay, i had a brain-freeze earlier. don't kill me, Brangelina fans. i am rectifying my error by humbly submitting Saint Angelina to be the Amazon Goddess. hey, i was just waiting for her to give birth!!!


Batman - DUH.


Flash - i always thought of Paul Walker getting the Wally West role. brash, smart with a sense of heroism.

Green Lantern - given the complications of the character, we probably need to introduce the Corps in an individual GL movie before introducing the League. continuity can be a bitch, so who are we picking - Kyle Rayner (Chris Evans)? Hal Jordan (Dominic West)? or John Stewart (Common)? i love Hal and Kyle, but my money's on John.

Aquaman/Arthur Curry/Orin - who else can be regal and an asshole except the Bean ... Sean Bean.


J'onn J'onzz/The Martian Manhunter - hey, Vinnie, you up for this? you'll look so much better in green paint than you did in Juggernaut armor.


Protex/Armek/Primaid/Zenturion/Fluxus/Zum/Tronix/A-Mortal - all CGI!



geek goosebump moment:


but please, not in that low gravelly voice, Mr. Bale!

TERROR INCOGNITA
Mark Waid/Bryan Hitch/Paul Neary/Mike Miller/Dave Meikis

you think you can keep those pesky White Martians in the Negative Zone for so long, didja? well, someone has to think up of something how they escape - being freed by the cosmic force Id as depicted in the running JLA series is continuity-dependent and won't work here.

anyway, Terror Incognita has many memorable battles - never did we love shapeshifting so much (eat that, Skrulls!), and it includes one with Krypto, the Wonder Mutt! the League saves the day again and this involves the second time they blatantly disregard physical science by moving the moon (as for the first time, that's also a great yarn. email me about it if you'd like to know more).

additional casting call:

Plastic Man - there's only one person born to do this. yes, imagine Jenny McCarthy's ecstasy if he really was Plas.

Nightwing - its only a cameo, but it hints at ... the Titans! let's just make him a silhouette for the only scene he's in.


Firestorm - Ronnie Raymond will be played by the everyone's boy next door, Josh Hartnett.



geek goosebump moment:

the League finalize their ambitious plans to defeat the White Martians again, and Superman calls them out, giving them five minutes. the villains only needed five seconds. careful what you wish for.

TRIAL BY FIRE
Joe Kelly/Doug Mahnke/Tom Nguyen

a new JLA team goes up against a very old enemy - even the immortal Vandal Savage ran into this one back when we were still intelligible. the Martian Manhunter conquers his fear of fire, and in doing so, frees his own Id, Fernus, who's destined to burn the world. he totally spanks the Justice League until Batman un-retires Plastic Man and wins the day.

additional casting call:

Fernus/the Burning - can we still grab James Earl Jones to voice him? on second thought, it might not be a good idea ("never underestimate the power of the Flame.").

Atom/Dr. Ray Palmer - who plays a swashbuckling (yet nerdy-looking) adventurer better than Brendan Fraser?

Faith - well, let's have Mandy Moore expand her range, shall we?


Major Disaster, you're looking at The Rock.


Scorch - J'onn's one-time hot lover has Fairuza Balk written all over her.


Manitou Raven - i've been tossing the usual suspects - Lou Diamond Phillips, Jimmy Smits, Kevin Costner, Wes Studi, but i ended up with Benjamin Bratt.


Dawn - Q'Orianka Kilcher - sorry for typecasting, but who did you think i'd cast - Katherine Heigl? Meryl Streep?


Luke, son of Plastic Man - to be played by Two and a Half Men's (free plug!) Angus T. Jones.


Ganthet, should be a CGI Yoda minus the Yoda voice. is Mark Hamill available?


Vandal Savage should played by no other than the actor's actor, Kenneth Branagh. he's so worldly.



geek goosebump moment:

and i hope Ben Affleck (or whoever's playing Superman) can do this with authority (sorry, Brandon Routh, you just can't cut it).