Spidey and his Fantastic Friends

FF #2 "Doom Nation"
Amazing Spider-Man #659 "Fantastic Voyage, Part 1 of 2"

and here i thought these two were linked story-wise; turns out its not. i totally enjoyed both anyway.

right after the drafting of now-accomplished nerd Spider-Man as Johnny's replacement, Jonathan Hickman surprised me by bringing Doom into the equation. well, not really because this was hinted back in earlier issues. i just thought he was going to join the Future Foundation as a tenuous member, a la Magneto in the current X-Men. maybe he still is, because he's not one to miss an opportunity to tout his intelligence (at least by the end of this issue). however, Reed should be more worried about Valeria (whom Doom named, in her revised origin), who seems to be getting or causing more trouble than Franklin when he was her age. she's probably too smart for her own good.

even as distracted as Reed can be, i don't think he would easily forget that was how Tony Stark came back to his proper senses in the recent Siege. oh well.

so, dumb-as-a-rock Doom ostensibly made a deal with Valeria to help him recover from his brain damage and be back to being the scumbag genius that he is, and they manage to do so, by copying some files from Doom ward Kristoff's own noggin. interestingly, Reed makes the moral if difficult decision to go along with it, even when given the chance to get rid of his longtime arch-enemy permanently. and what's the price Valeria demands? for Doom to defeat her dad. uhhh, what?

super-nerd Parker, also not a fan of Doom, at least is honest about cracking jokes regardless.

there's more to this than meets the eye, though. the next issue's preview show the return of the well-meaning yet blinded Reeds, and maybe that's what Doom needs (or Valeria wants Doom) to beat.

over in Spidey's own book, the foursome take a journey to an island they had visited early in their original incarnation, where Ben played Blackbeard the Pirate and get some gems back to a tiger-stroking Doom (heh) who had Sue as a hostage. anyway, some radioactive anomaly is emanating from this island and geeks just need to investigate radioactive anomalies.

funnily, with the attack-happy locals exercising their fear of strangers, its the FF's reputation that saves them (or is it the other way around). Dan Slott and Fred Van Lente continue their knack for snappy hilarious patter, which makes me wonder why they didn't get them to write Spider-Man a loooong time ago.

ending up fighting zombie pirates (eh?), the fun gets doubled as Benjie reprises his award-winning role, courtesy of Mr. Parker's quick thinking.

just like over in Avengers, we see that our heroes end up cleaning after old foes (think Spidey's rogues gallery ... his best baddies, minus the Goblin of course). with the promise of more ass-kicking, errr ... booty-kicking next issue, i can't wait!

FF story: A-  art: A-
ASM story: A+ art: A

war is a many-tentacled thing

drive-by readings

Secret Warriors #12 (Marvel) "Wake The Beast" Jonathan Hickman Stefano Caselli Sunny Gho Dave Lanphear Jimmy Cheung/Mark Morales/Justin Ponsor (cover) i don't know if other readers of this book kind of feels it like it ran out of steam in its last few issues. i like that Nick Fury took it upon himself to try and save the world on his own terms, recruiting his Secret Warriors and reforming the Howling Commandos. but there's too much going on, and this title is no longer "just" the Secret Warriors anymore. it was manageable when it was just Fury and his kids. now they're taking on Hydra, Leviathan and good knows who else, and with it the inevitable bureaucracy that running an organization entails. it doesn't help that Nick Fury sits there, lectures and he has like 46 scenarios running through his brain and you know he'll win eventually. for someone who went underground, his presence is practically everywhere - he recently helped Bucky Barnes get a new hand but hasn't renewed ties with Steve Rogers yet. i await the eventual sitdown between Fury, the resurrected Tony Stark, the two Captain Americas, Thor, and the rest of the Avengers. if this doesn't happen, i will protest in front of the Marvel offices until they do. oh wait, what happens in this issue? Leviathan captures Viper in search of the "Box" (maybe they should go to Utopia and look up Madison Jeffries?), and Hydra thinks there's a traitor in their midst, which would work well for Fury. both also have secret weapons to be unveiled. there's also a sidestory with Stonewall and Yo-Yo visiting Stonewall's Supermax-resident dad - Crusher Creel, presumably which happens after he got his ass kicked in Mighty Avengers #33. but again this thread is overshadowed by everything else that's going on.

cue in Guns N' Roses: "i used to love her ... but i had to kill her ..."


Gorgon wassn't too enthusiastic about this new acupuncture technique.

drive-by readings: Secret Warriors #5

Secret Warriors #5 (Marvel) Brian Michael Bendis/span> Jonathan Hickman Stefano Caselli Daniele Rudoni Dave Lanphear Jimmy Cheung/Justin Ponsor (cover)

well, this is what the S.H.I.E.L.D. gig turned out to be. Nick Fury goes into paranoia overdrive, manipulates a few heroes to take out Latveria, gets disgraced and quits, comes back with new super recruits to repel the Skrull Invasion (like that helped), sees his old outfit decommissioned and rebuilt into Norman Osborn's public army, and now all this time he's been fighting a regenerated Hydra. if he got paid by the hour, that's USD35M @ $1K/hour in back pay, not counting medical benefits. he's still underpaid by Wall Street standards.

speaking of renumeration, how is he gonna pay the salaries of some twelve hundred ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. loyalists, whom he just deployed to attack a former base to retrieve their helicarriers. of course he knows this is also to draw Hydra into the open, thereby multiplying their opponent-to-good-guy ratio like around 10 to 1. make that 20 to 1 'cause Hydra's guys are kinda superpowered too. hazard pay? what hazard pay? its easy for Fury to say "if it was gonna be easy, it wouldn't be any fun now, would it?", because he has the goddamn Infinity Formula running through his veins. prick. maybe we should change the title of the book to Nick Fury: Secret Warrior, as Daisy and the gang are only shown in one panel all issue.

i'm guessing Stefano Caselli's strength is not splash pages that need some detailed backgrounds. he's done a great job with Avengers: The Initiative which netted him this gig, and i like his action shots, although sometimes the faces look alike from one to the other, giving you the sense that it was rushed. otherwise, this is still a solid issue (and series overall), with Marvel making good use of its rich library of (albeit perpetually-resurrected) characters.

alive

well, well ... it seems one of the movies i wished to be made would never be made now, would it? (like it ever was going to be)



heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's alive!!!!!

wait, how is the Baron Strucker himself alive? what did i miss??

(the Hand is an uh, old hand at resurrection so why should we be surprised? i kinda had a Kirigi flashback, circa Miller-era Daredevil ... brrrrrrrrrrr)

update: what i missed - was an issue of T-Bolts detailing the beheaded version was a clone .... hey, Marvel, stop with the resurrections already!!! that's already three reversals from that same Wolverine story arc. who's next? Steve Rogers? Jean Grey? geeez. these people.
-----
Secret Warriors #2

Secret Warriors, yeah, that's what we are

this just in: Nick Fury disses the Oval Office! (with Barack in it)

and who can blame the man? rampant corruption and skrullduggery (heh) have happened, and the US is tottering on economic disaster, and a psycho is now in charge of the asylum (Osborn, not Obama, wiseass). honor is a long-gone concept with the death of Steve Rogers, so Fury has gone deeper underground (heh) but not that deep enough to pop up in scenic places like the White House. (did Michelle shake his hand as he appeared in the kitchen?)

(wait, how do we know that was His Barryness? that could be Osborn for all we know. they usually draw him in shadow, the exception being that Spider-Man issue and maybe that one in Thunderbolts. hey wait, wasn't he stuck with the Osborn and the "Green Goblin" in Air Force One? Marvel, you're as bad as DC with scheduling).

with his new band of caterpillars soldiers, Fury wants to take back Sundays, i mean take the world back from all these crazy people. actually, everyone wants to do that. at least the disenfranchised good guys (hello, Clint Barton). and other people just want their slice of the pie (hello, Agents of Atlas). so, would this status quo stay as long as a summer crossover? or would we have around two years worth of drama (and time to write potentially great stories), before things really come to a head, and a huge global revolution would come together to topple Norman Osborn?


"you wish, rookie. now drop and give me a hundred - with no hands!"


i watched Stefano Caselli's art evolve over his tour of duty in Avengers: The Initiative, but now he's overdoing the eyes. they're overexpressive. good thing Fury only has one.

(wait, how's this for a shocker - Fury's eyes are really ok!!!! he just wears that patch to scare the kids and look badass. no, seriously! i mean, they brought Bucky Barnes back!)


so in between taking credit for badass quotes and sending kids off to battle, what does li'l Nicky do for fun? nothing much. the Contessa was a Skrull ... wait, no, he dissed her and walked away even when the real deal came back from Skrullworld. i bet he keeps just a wee bit more tabs on Daisy Johnson. no, you didn't hear it from me!


oh yeah, this just in: Nick Fury works for Hydra.

wait, ... what?

-----
Secret Warriors #1

gore '08

really, Dan Slott? the title of your latest Avengers: The Initiative installment is:



?

do the kids know this? especially since on the cover, it says Rated T+.

well, i guess kids today know a lot more than we give them credit for (the Internet, a huge playground for lawlessness and sin, which is why the damn corporations want you to pay thru the nose for the privilege of playing in the sandbox). maybe that's what the plus sign means (Teens Who Know A Lot More Than Their Parents Think).

plus this issue is chockful of violence and gore that wouldn't be out of place in the latest torture porn films (thank you, Splat Pack).

of course, noted tightass Delroy Garrett would be squeamish.








but really ... Skrull *#@%ers?? a few clicks on Google and the kids would know the origin of the word.




somewhere out there Joe Quesada is laughing.


just for myself, an entertaining read with great art by Stefano Caselli, who keeps improving as he goes along.
-----
Avengers: The Initiative #16

hulkamania 2

World War Hulk sightings:

Hulk Destroys the Marvel Universe
i mean, wow. it was almost as if, to a man, the Marvel head honchos said, "ok, how do we top our heroes kicking each others' butt? well, let's have the Hulk kick all their butts! and really good!" the Hulk has never been written this powerful and menacing, and he has control of all his faculties. means bad news for all his former friends, who wish they still had the original dumb Hulk leaping around.

She-Hulk? for once, blood is not thicker than water.


Ares? i think he has to give up this 'God of War' thing.


Human Torch? you must be kid-ding.


Ben Grimm? definitively the ass-kicking of his life.


and Mr. Smarty-Pants Reed Richards himself? well, you know what they say about good intentions. hopefully, he still has a third honeymoon in him.

that's Black Bolt, Iron Man, the Avengers (the supposedly mighty ones - how does this tie-in with New Avengers?), the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four ... including give or take a few of heavy hitters. the last remaining hope is Dr. Strange, who couldn't complete his spell, and the enigmatic Sentry (which for the life of me, i don't know why he's sitting at home watching Food Network). wait ... who's that approaching? is that General Thunderbolt Ross? seriously!?

Iron Man gets Screwed

by one of his Initiative recruits, no less. it didn't take long for sneaky government types to meddle with the super-army Tony Stark built. Hardball, an immature loose cannon who hasn't really revealed the full extent of his powers, has been coerced to sell the one thing that could have brought the Hulk down for family security. security, pfah!

New Yorkers have an Attitude. Even The Young'Uns.
if i were Daredevil, i'd have smacked the shit out of this kid. i'm just saying!


CSI Alienation

an android under the command of the AWH (aliens with Hulk) gets "killed" and the outerworlders are out for blood. what do we humans do? why, conduct an investigation, of course. easier said than done.

Ghost Rider Cops Out

and i mean the Ghost Rider, not Johnny Blaze. Dr. Strange said it well - Blaze was the one limiting the Rider's powers, because if not, you'd have a much more powerful entity unleashed on the world. however, that might be the one thing needed to beat the Hulk.

can you imagine the Hulk being mischievous? (straps a 7 train to the unsuspecting GR's chain)


after dropping a building on Hulk (cool) and expanding a huge blast of hellfire (how is NYC still standing?), it all comes to this staredown and ...


... nothing. Ghost Rider drives away because he only avenges the innocent.

which most certainly, our so-called protectors (Iron Man, Reed Richards, etc.) haven't been.

but ... but ... what about the innocents killed in this attack? you mean there's no body count? are you kidding me?

damn you, Daniel Way!


i knew the continuity was breaking down. for those who haven't read it yet, sorry for spoiling it for you, but you'd better read this thing from beginning to end when its all said and done.
-----
World War Hulk #2
Greg Pak, John Romita Jr., Klaus Janson
Avengers: The Initiative #4
Dan Slott, Stefano Caselli
World War Hulk: Frontline #2
Paul Jenkins, Ramon Bachs
Ghost Rider #13
Daniel Way, Javier Saltares, Scott Hanna