Monday, July 16, 2007

i might be a frakking Skrull

so, as it turns out, the Hulk isn't the only green menace plaguing the Marvel Universe as of this moment. the morph-happy Skrulls, the alien race who's always been a thorn on the side of the superhero butt, may have set or taken advantage of all the crossover events that took your lunch money for the last 3 years.

here we have the piss-poor not-so-New Avengers, flying back from Japan only because one member had a plane (bet they miss those Quinjets already), trying to recover from the shock of discovering that the Elektra they were fighting turned out to be a Skrull.

Peter tries to get everyone to talk and discuss the elephant in the room, but Logan has a logical explanation for why everyone is reluctant to do so.


right here, i'm eliminating Logan 99%, because ... well, he's Logan. and he's all over the place. wait, that means in one of his multiple appearances, he's a Skrull. head. hurts.

so who else could be a Skrull, at least among the passengers of this humble aircraft?

could it be Luke Cage, hip brotha and new dada - who seems to be perpetually skulking in shadow at least for this whole issue?


could it be Dr. Stephen Strange, who sat out the Civil War, choosing to smoke mystic cigars and play Texas Hold 'Em with Wong, but at least came back after to support his (other) Avenger buddies?


could it be Jessica Drew, who's playing from a lot of sides ever since (which makes her a clear rival for She-Hulk's title as the Ultimate Marvel Whore)?


could it be the deaf Maya Lopez (Echo/Ronin) who actually can't hear what these jerks are saying? ("Maya is the Skrull, she's a retard!" "hell no! if you were a Skrull, would you impersonate a deaf girl?") wait! let's go check the back issues if she tipped her hand by suddenly being able to hear.


could it be Clint Barton (Hawkeye), who uselessly died when the Avengers were Disassembled, and then showed up again with just the lame explanation that Wanda just resurrected him ... just because? never underestimate the power of fan balloting.


could it be Danny Rand (Iron Fist), Cage's best pal, Daredevil stand-in, and possessor of the ultimate weapon and handy corporate jets?


or could it be our intrepid hero Peter Parker, who had to endure a brief interlude with fame and fortune working with his idol, Tony Stark, and have his aunt shot and living life on the run, subsisting on berries and Red Bull? at least he still has his sense of humor. by the way, did he ever thank Frank Castle for saving him?


hell, they're ALL SKRULLS! Leinil Yu's art has gotten so dirty and grimy and ugly, they might as well be!

let's leave it to Cage to say what's on most of the fanboys' minds. well, that which would make sense, more or less.


and what do you know, handy corporate jets aren't that reliable. the engines die, and due to a notable lack of fliers on the roster, everyone panics. even Dr. Strange, supposedly the elder statesman, screams an excuse.


this thing doesn't happen often, and we can hear everyone screaming for their mommy. except for Logan. Logan doesn't have a mommy. Logan wasn't born; he was unleashed.


prior to the engine malfunction (a set up?), Jessica was arguing that they should take the body of the Elektra Skrull to Tony Stark, just in case Stark is indeed a Skrull, so they can draw him out in the open. everybody else disagreed.


so now, who's a Skrull?

-----
New Avengers #32
Brian Michael Bendis/Leinil Francis Yu

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