Wednesday, September 22, 2010

hi, is this mic on?

haven't been posting much lately as real life has taken over the time i spend poring over them funnybooks and trying to concoct lame jokes out of them (along with somewhat astute and oh-so-obvious observations). i haven't missed reading the weekly stuff, i just don't have the time to even do a drive-by reading (hey, i need to pay the bills and this blog is proudly unmonetized). anyway, i want to concentrate on a bigger project, in which this blog will be co-opted into.

also, here's something to look forward to in three weeks:
annual pilgrimage

see you freaks and geeks at the Javitz (5th straight year, homies!!).

Thursday, September 16, 2010

coming out to play

drive-by readings

Shadowland: Power Man #2 (Marvel)
"War In the Neighborhood"
Fred Van Lente
Mahmud Asrar
Scott Hanna
Bruno Hang
Dave Sharpe

what we learned: now i get why the Simster was raving about this yesterday - only old school guys will probably get the joke. the new Power Man (Kid?) gets into a tussle with Danny and Luke (the original), and in the process draws attention from a bunch of gangs (well, really, just a representative) who's out to bag him for money. hilarity ensues.
oh shit moment: this kid can absorb Danny's chi? really? wait, shouldn't Danny be out like a light now? remember mind melds and that healing shit (when he first "died"; thanks a lot, Captain Power).
what's next: Nights-s-sh-sh-shade! (to the tune of "Shirt Tales")

uhhh .... she's ... Bejeweled?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

i'll be there for you

drive-by readings

Thor, The Mighty Avenger #4 (Marvel)
"Boys' Night Out"
Roger Langridge
Chris Samnee
Matthew Wilson
Rus Wooton
Samnee/Christina Strain (cover)

what we learned: with the arrival of the Warriors Three (always heartwarming), Thor gets a night out ... in Norway. he also makes friends with Captain Britain. after a fashion.
oh shit moment: rocketing from above, the pride of Britannia scatters the gods like leaves.
what's next: Thursday means Thor's Day. so there's gonna be a celebration?

there's a GPS sale at Best Buy, godlings ...

semi-kind of victory

drive-by readings

Thor #614 (Marvel)
"The Fine Print Part 4"
Kieron Gillen
Doug Braithwaite
John Rauch
Andy Troy
June Chung
Joe Sabino
Mico Suayan/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: Loki's treachery is revealed! Thor realizes the breadth and width of his half-brother's machinations, and with Loki not in Hel's books, he'll have a devil of a time putting him down next time. well, no one's going to learn from this anyway. soon, they'll be back welcoming him with open arms and mugfuls of mead.
oh shit moment: Thor stabbing Kelda (relax, its because Loki put malware in her to break the Asgardians' morale and as an added bonus, assassinate Balder). also when Thor gets the Eir-Gram free and cuts down the Disir - that's mythic.
what's next: get ready for more action, 'cause here comes Matt Fraction!

sometimes, just sometimes, you still need violence against women.

Monday, September 13, 2010

bullets and motors

drive-by readings

Punisher MAX: Hot Rods of Death one-shot (Marvel)
"Getting Mad"
Charlie Huston
Shawn Martinbrough
Felix Serrano
Cory Petit

what we learned: one-time Losers artist Shawn Martinbrough provides artwork for crime writer Huston's B-movie tale (all his inspirations on the final page) on corporate fat cats using thugs to do their dirty work. Frank Castle provides the leader figure needed to rally the community to fight back. once Huston's done with the dialogue, its all Martinbrough's game.
oh shit moment: its cliche, but a wire garrote for bikers? still awesome.
what's next: was Lady Gaga wearing Pike last night?

so Roxxon is the Red Right Hand!


drive-by readings

Secret Six #25 (DC)
"The Reptile Brain, Part One: Blood Calls to Blood"
Gail Simone
Jim Calafiore
Jason Wright
Travis Lanham
Daniel Luvisi (cover)

what we learned: i don't think i did. after last issue's weird Wild West story - where they all die! - this time the split teams go their separate ways, one doing mercenary work and hired to conquer a land beyond time, while the other - with the grieving angry Catman forced back into the fold - is offered a deal to do the opposite.
oh shit moment: i'm not really a big fan of no-explanation exposition. so i go "oh shit" when am lost.
what's next: Secret Six vs Secret Six! i think this is some kind of a video game.

this is why wild animals jump their cages.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

the mighty daken

drive-by readings

Daken - Dark Wolverine #1 (Marvel)
"Empire Part 1"
Daniel Way/Marjorie Liu
Giuseppe Camuncoli
Onofrio Catacchio
Frank D'Armata
Cory Petit
Camuncoli/Marte Gracia (cover)
Gabrielle Dell'Otto/Marko Djurdjevic (variant covers)

what we learned: nothing much. we know Daken hates his dad Wolverine with a passion second to none, although is he going to make a move and simply kill him, when he's been bested in their last chickenfight and his ass was saved with that business with FrankenCastle. so if its his time, its his time to do what?
oh shit moment: he's friggin' doing Bruno in Milan, but with claws. and who's the leader of the Red Right Hand? ("Nick Cave!" someone yells)
what's next: there better be a great payoff with Liu jumping off Black Widow and rejoining Way to chronicle more of our androgynous anti-hero/villain, now that Logan's in hell.

you really should be wary of "free wine tastings".

over the edge

drive-by readings

Daredevil #510 (Marvel)
Andy Diggle
Antony Johnston
Marco Checchetto
Matt Hollingsworth
Joe Caramagna
John Cassaday/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: the heroes are getting desperate on what to do with the worsening situation in Hell's Kitchen, and even the Kingpin shows up to goad them to whack Matt before its too late. Tarantula's conscience kicks in, but he's also too late, as White Tiger reveals her true colors, and Daredevil himself seems to be really out of it anyway. in a victory for women's rights, Dakota North knows her way around a SPAS-12 which is cool. in other news, Foggy Nelson is still useless and its a miracle for all of 46 years of Daredevil, he's still alive (faked deaths notwithstanding).
oh shit moment: its cliche, but when its Tarantula who's thrown off a building and smashing into a car below ...
what's next: The Beast is revealed! no, he's not Hank McCoy or that evil one from Age of Apocalypse.

"he say man who wear colorful costume to fight crime look stupid."

let the light shine in

drive-by readings

New Avengers #4 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis
Stuart Immonen
Wade Von Grawbadger
Laura Martin
Chris Eliopoulos

what we learned: the magic men can't hazard a guess as to who's been trying to stage another Inferno show in New York, where our other Avengers (oh, hi there, Jewel!) have their hands full swatting demons left and right. until the sky spits out Danny, and the first thing he does is ...
oh shit moment: ... give Dr. Strange an iron fist, minus the iron. hey, nice duds, Danny?
what's next: we've known of that thing for years, but who really owns the Eye of Agamotto? Agamotto, of course. duh.

i bet Strange never got sucker punched by Clea or the Night Nurse like that.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

end task

drive-by readings

Taskmaster #1 (Marvel)
"The Exquisite Palace"
Fred Van Lente
Jefte Palo
Jean Francois Beaulieu
Dave Lanphear

what we learned: on the premise that Taskmaster, that unparalleled trainer of every asskicking wannabe in the Marvel U, has gone over to the light side, every single group of bad guys (with matching branded gym bags and watches, natch!), including the ridiculous ones (the Inquisition. really.) are gunning for him, on orders of The Org (ooooh, scary!). of course, he wants to know why he's being set up. what do you really know about Taskmaster, except that he's a Crossbones-faced human version of the Super Adaptoid?
oh shit moment: who are these losers? (all those who make their first appearance this issue) ok, seriously, who does have some longevity? i'll pick ... the Trenchcoat Mafia ('cause there will always be FPS games, bitches!).
what's next: anti-hero takes waitress on the run from evil forces. sounds like a B-movie.

Militiamen? really? what's next? Tea Party Patriots? oh, wait ...

holding on and letting go

drive-by readings

Daytripper #10 (DC/Vertigo)
"Chapter Ten: 76"
Fabio Moon
Gabriel Bá
Dave Stewart
Sean Konot

what we learned: i need to re-read this series from beginning to end to appreciate the larger picture (the standalone issues are already little gems), but for now, let me share the first part of the letter Brás' father leaves him, as he weighs in with his mortality.

Dear son,
You're holding this letter now because this is the most important day of your life.
You're about to have your first child.
That means the life you've built with such effort, that you've conquered, that you've earned, has finally reached the point that it no longer belongs to you.

that is something my own father might've said, if he were still alive to be on hand when i finally have my own child.

the whole Brás de Oliva Domingos in different stories may seem weird and trippy (the book is called Daytripper after all), but am sure it'll make sense to me eventually.
oh shit moment: probably the moment when these two gentlemen, Moon and , made tears run down my cheek reading this book.
what's next: what do you do for an encore?

c'mon, haven't you heard? cigarettes won't kill you.

who's killing who

drive-by readings

Shadowland: Blood On The Streets #2 (Marvel)
Antony Johnston
Wellinton Alves
Nelson Pereira
Frank Martin
Dave Sharpe
Francisco Mattina (cover)

what we learned: Paladin gets punk'd by the Shroud (gotta hand it to Pig Pen). Misty finds out that its not the Hand that killing mobsters, the Hand ninjas also tell her the same thing, and Paladin and Shroud are also two steps behind.
oh shit moment: not much sighting of Silver Sable and her fantastic treasure chest this issue. still not sure what her angle is in this story, but do i care? LOL
what's next: always the first question to ask in a murder mystery: who profits?

the "K" disappears twice in this book. that's a crime!

crushing blow

drive-by readings

The Thanos Imperative #4 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning
Miguel Sepulveda
Jay David Ramos/Wil Quintana
Joe Caramagna
Aleksi Briclot (cover)

what we learned: the not-so-secret Six (Nova, Quasar, Gladiator, Silver Surfer, Ronan and Beta Ray Bill),attack the Cancerverse HQ and they get their licks in. however, Lord Mar-Vell (the fake) is more than a match for any of them. and in one of the quickest turnarounds in the Marvel U, Thanos reintegrates himself (awwwwww - stop whining! this is the Universe of Life!), much to Star-Lord's relief, but returns the favor to Drax.
oh shit moment: Lord Mar-Vell leaves a bomb. sneaky punk. oh yeah, and a version of the Vision gets ripped in half again. the Android Anti-Defamation League is picketing the Marvel offices.
what's next: what? a universe without a smart cranky Destroyer? perish the thought! pun intended!

cosmic deadpan trash talk. now there's a Marvel Studios movie.

purple reign

drive-by readings

Green Lantern #57 (DC)
"What Happens in Vegas"
Geoff Johns
Doug Mahnke
Christian Alamy
Tom Nguyen
Keith Champagne
Randy Mayor
Gabe Eltaeb
Nick Napolitano
Mahnke/Hi-Fi (cover)
Ryan Sook/Fernando Pasarin/Joel Gomez/Mayor/Carrie Strachan (variant cover)

what we learned: after a brawl stretching from Minnesota to the Sin City, Star Sapphire of Sector 2814 (a.k.a. Carol Ferris) corrals "The Love Predator" (which is definitely different from Ah-Nuld's nemesis) and makes a stand about it, earning here the title of queen of the Star Sapphires, whose erstwhile queen conveniently decides to croak at that particular moment.
oh shit moment: Carol kisses the Predator (John Walsh and Chris Hansen just tore their hairpieces out) and Hal's jaw tenses. for one moment there, he was going to go Parallax again. or not.
what's next: next time you get arrested for stalking your ex-girlfriend or your crush, you can blame the Love Predator. no, really.

you don't have the proportions, Larfleeze.

Friday, September 10, 2010

joke's on them

drive-by readings

Batman & Robin #14 (DC)
"Batman and Robin Must Die! Part 2: The Triumph of Death"
Grant Morrison
Frazer Irving
Pat Brosseau
Frank Quitely (cover)

what we learned: not one to be overshadowed or upstaged, the Joker wants to get back at the Black Glove/Thomas Wayne/Dr. Hurt/whatever the shit's calling himself these days. to this end, he has Batman and Robin (and the Commish Gordon) as chess pieces, and Gotham City and its residents as collateral damage. wheeeeeeeeee!
oh shit moment: Damian getting himself captured by the Joker. that'll work wonders with his confidence.
what's next: i want the current Dynamic Duo get out of this without the Bat family getting involved. ok, maybe Alfred.

after years of rejection, Miss Piggy finally snapped.

escape club

drive-by readings

Batman #703 (DC)
"The Great Escape"
Fabian Nicieza
Cliff Richards
Jared Fletcher
Ian Hannin
Tony Daniel (cover)
Kevin Nowlan (variant cover)

what we learned: drawn by that '60s crooner (oops, no, its Richards, not Richard!), this prelude to the return of the original Bats has Damian being prepped for "would you like to know your crime crusading pop a little bit more"? while corralling a jewel thief, a nod back to very rich, if blurry, period in Batman lore.
oh shit moment: oh Vicki Vale, you are a woman scorned.
what's next: Bruce, come back already!

three guys, one cup.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

on break

goodbye, Hurricane Earl!

also, gimme a break before figuring out what to do with my template, as i just discovered its the same as one sorry, TS.

london culling

drive-by readings

Red Hood: The Lost Days #4 (DC)
"Higher Learning"
Judd Winick
Jeremy Haun
Brian Reber
Pat Brosseau
Billy Tucci (cover)

what we learned: London's Russian mob wants to get the heat off them by staging a bombing that would lay the blame on Arab terrorists. with Jason Todd learning from the bombmaker himself, he's in the best position to stop the carnage before it even begins.
oh shit moment: Talia notices that all his teachers end up conveniently dead (with reason). she also informs him that he's been replaced as the Boy Wonder.
what's next: did Jason ever want to reclaim the mantle of Robin?

its your fault - if you just disconnected that 1-800 number...

tempest in a kettle

drive-by readings

Thor: For Asgard #1 (Marvel)
"Asgard Part One"
Robert Rodi
Simone Bianchi
Simone Peruzzi
Cory Petit

what we learned: in what seems to be an alternate reality (or a footnote in long immortal Asgardian history), Thor has been left in charge of Asgard after Balder's murder (instigated by Loki, who has since fled - sound familiar?) and finds himself presiding over territorial wars without, and petty bickering within. much worse ...
oh shit moment: ... he can't lift his goddamned hammer.
what's next: Rodi returns to familiar territory (after 2004's Loki) and is ably supported by some of Bianchi's best work. why does it look like Odin is just hanging around Asgard secretly? and why has Thor lost his mojo? (well, not in the bedroom, if you ask Sif)

"Dulcolax!! verily, i have need of Dulcolax, miscreants!!"

Friday, September 3, 2010

hail to the king

drive-by readings

Marvel Universe vs The Punisher #3 (Marvel)
"Partner in Crime"
Jonathan Maberry
Goran Parlov
Lee Loughridge
Cory Petit

what we learned: Patient Zero, Spider-Man himself, makes a deal with Frank, to leave him alone and every uninfected human like him, as long Frank dispatches the "King of Death" that's taking out his tribe and recovers his mate (MJ who else?). leading a ragtag group of warriors including Deadpool, Frank learns the job is a bigger crap sandwich than he thought.
oh shit moment: four issues are not enough to deal with each and every death in the Marvel U. and with Frank doing scorched earth, this should be shock and awe at its finest.
what's next: what's the deal with the Kingpin?

uh oh ... so that's what Brand New Day means.

and justice for one

drive-by readings

Scarlet #2 (Marvel/Icon)
Brian Michael Bendis
Alex Maleev
Chris Eliopoulos
Michael Oeming/David Mack (variant covers)

what we learned: now we get into the nitty-gritty. we're a fourth wall witness to how slowly Scarlet goes from victim to justice seeker (nice montage with the hair by Maleev there). Officer, now Detective Gary Dunes, has no idea what's coming. us readers do, but we're still blown away. weren't you?
oh shit moment: the run-up to Scarlet entrapping Det. Dunes and her subsequent choices, is some of the best crime noir sequences i've seen.
what's next: by the second issue, we are reminded of how good Bendis/Maleev were on their stellar Daredevil run. i just wish this thing didn't come out bi-monthly. fuck.

can you turn away? can you?


drive-by readings

Hawkeye & Mockingbird #4 (Marvel)
"Ghosts, Part 4: Unnatural Histories"
Jim McCann
David Lopez
Alvaro Lopez
Nathan Fairbairn
Cory Petit
Paul Renaud (cover)

what we learned: surviving Crossfire's attack, Clint and Bobbie hatch a plan to draw him and the new Ghost Rider to them. a night at the museum ensues and the couple lure their nemesis to the Nevada desert (thank God for that douchey Scientist Supreme!) to face the ghosts of their past.
oh shit moment: Hamilton Slade is back!
what's next: will Johnny Blaze and Danny Ketch show up too?

see, kids, you should still get an edu-kay-shun! temping at McDonald's ain't cutting it.


drive-by readings

The Boys #46 (Dynamite)
"Believe, Part Three"
Garth Ennis
Russ Braun
Tony Aviña
Simon Bowland
Darick Robertson (cover)

what we learned: finally: Butcher and Hughie let it all out, and i can empathize with Hughie for being scared of not being trusted anymore. Butcher breathes a sigh of relief, but there's still a big problem as the two are in love. also Mother's Milk flask is missing.
oh shit moment: two: Queen Maeve is a spy for the Boys (and didja see her pics!!) and Hughie watches Annie/Starlight's initiation into the Seven.
what's next: like Butcher says, you gotta be cruel to be kind. is this gonna break up Hughie and Annie?

due to the family nature (pfshhh) of this blog, that's all we can show you.

alone in the dark

drive-by readings

Curse of the Mutants - X-Men: Smoke and Blood (one-shot) (Marvel)
Simon Spurrier
Gabriel Hernandez Walta
Dave Sharpe
Clayton Crain (cover)

what we learned: i love the adventures of the X-Science Team. its like watching Big Bang Theory for mutants, with Dr. Nemesis gleefully playing Sheldon. too bad Hank's not with them for now. anyhoo, their vampire specimen breaks out of their lab and traps them with it. as is with any superhero team worth their salt, a last-minute save thrillingly traps us in our seats. Kavita Rao is becoming a likable character in her own right, considering her mutation opposition origins.
oh shit moment: if vamps can learn to use psychic attacks, who knows what the else they got up their sleeves.
what's next: what happens when the X-Men meet Team Edward?

what she said.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

come on down

drive-by readings

Wolverine #1 (Marvel)
"Wolverine Goes to Hell, Part One"
"Last Stand of the Silver Samurai: Scorched Earth Chapter One"
Jason Aaron
Renato Guedes/Jason Latour
Jose Wilson Magalhaes
Matt Wilson/Rico Renzi
Cory Petit
Jae Lee/June Chung (cover)
Steve McNiven/Dexter Vines/Justin Ponsor/Marko Djurdjevic/Art Adams (variant covers)

what we learned: i mistook the hype for this new direction as Daken taking over Wolverine's body while Logan being sent to Hell. but that would've been a cooler premise: its one thing to be reconditioned by the Hand, its another to have switch souls and personalities between two mortal shells. what would the Avengers and X-Men do? kill him? but i digress. some mysterious party (called the Red Right Hand - 'allo, Nick Cave - purported to be the vengeful hand of God) wants Wolverine and his family/friends taken out, and some demon has taken over his body (taking on John Wraith for starters). next up: Logan's current galpal Melita, who's oddly rescued by Mystique. over in Japan, the RRH puts a hit on Kenuichio Harada, and it looks like he doesn't survive the experience.
oh shit moment: you know there's a demon in Wolverine, but that doesn't make it any easier.
what's next: who are these Red Right Handers? kin of people Logan killed over the century? was already goddamned sick of "My Humps".

Bruce Wayne is gonna sue

... for swiping his interior designer, bitches!!!

by the way, is there a poor, destitute X-Man? if so, Utopia provides all the benefits and freebies in life, no? including premium health care (thank God for Elixir!!).

Wolverine: Road to Hell one-shot