Monday, March 31, 2008

cliffhanger of the week #10

#6 - Heavy is the Head That's Big

who else would fill in the Lethal Leader character in the Ultimate Universe except the one called Peter Wisdom? (altogether now: hwahahahahaha!) in Earth 616, he's a British chain-smoking mutant SOB, here he's just a British SOB. and he fancies himself the Ultimate Human, as he prepares to take the nanites from Tony "The Drunken Master" Stark and the SuperSoldier DNA from Bruce "Big Green Stupid" Banner. its payback time for 1776.
Ultimate Human #3 (Marvel)
Warren Ellis/Cary Nord/Dave Stewart/Dave Sharpe

#5 - Who Dares ... Wins. Kinda.

what would you do if your own leader sold you out to a murderous alien race? well, the first instinct would be to shoot said bugger in the head. then you shoot the aliens. but Dan Dare has a plan, and it involves being captured (and tortured and killed ... but not without leading the Royal Marine Commandos to do some royal ass-kicking). forget about Flash Gordon, Thunderbirds, Buck Rogers or Star Trek. Dan is the friggin' Man!
Dan Dare #5 (Virgin)
Garth Ennis/Gary Erskine/Parasuraman/Nilesh/Rakesh Mahadik

#4 - The Roof is On Fire

what to do with Ravager, a bastard daughter of the DC universe's greatest assassin? leave her alone in the Titans Tower and what happens? why, for starters it goes up in flames. this really makes Kid Devil's all-night parties much more preferable.
Teen Titans #57 (DC)
Sean McKeever/Eddy Barrows/Ruy Jose/Jimmy Palmiotti/Rod Reis/Travis Lanham

#3 - Cat Fight

why is Erik Killmonger still alive? and why are they claiming he's never been defeated? didn't T'Challa PWN his ass many times over before today? and what makes them think this time will be any different? well, for starters, he now has two hostages ...
Black Panther #35 (Marvel)
Reginald Hudlin/Cafu/Francis Portela/Val Staples/Cory Petit

#2 - Head Cases

well, that didn't take too long did it? the un-Maliced Omega Sentinel electroshocks the previously-comatose Xavier's mind, waking him up just in time to defend his now-human best friend/oldest enemy Magneto from the latter's former prized pupil Exodus. place your bets!
X-Men #209 (Marvel)
Mike Carey/Scot Eaton/Billy Tan/John Dell/Frank D'Armata/Brian Reber/Cory Petit

#1 - They're Everywhere!

yes, that's an old Converse ad line, and it fits. the Skrull infestation is becoming much more evident. who else is a Skrull? i know of two - Bendis and Quesada!!! evil, evil geniuses.
Secret Invasion: Prologue (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/Leinil Francis Yu/Mark Morales/Laura Martin/Chris Eliopoulos

Sunday, March 30, 2008

bait and switch

in conjunction with Earth Hour, let's say we turn off the lights for an hour this saturday night. and when they come back on, you find that your favorite heroes aren't quite the same ...

Friday, March 28, 2008

you hit like a girl! #7

in the final issue of Wildstorm Revelations, the Coda warrior Nemesis finally goes toe to hoof with the cyborg centaur called the Minotaur, one of the great Kaizen Gamorra's henchmen (isn't this old fart dead already?)

not content to being carved up, Minotaur tries for one last straw, only to end up becoming double shish kebab.

reminds me of similar villain-killing endings in movies ... this one comes to mind:

Thursday, March 27, 2008


... anyone but Dum Dum Dugan!!

(how about that jerk who currently goes by the name of the Ant Man?)

posing as Countess Valentina DeFontaine, a Skrull gets the better of Nick Fury's best pal and second-in-command. and leaves him to die(?)

does this also confirm that Nick Fury has been kidnapped by Skrulls? if he was, why didn't they pose as him and do more damage? where the hell has he been all these years?

oh, you know this is going to make the cliffhanger list next Monday.

Secret Invasion: Prologue
Brian Michael Bendis/Leinil Francis Yu/Mark Morales/Laura Martin/Chris Eliopoulos

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

it takes two

buddy teams, from the House of Ideas.

i agree with #1, but shouldn't there be mention of Guido and Jamie? Hulk and Rick Jones? Wolverine and Jubilee? wait ... those two really can't be buddies, can they ...?

for the Distinguished Competition, it'll be a toss-up between Batman & Robin, or Blue Beetle and Booster Gold. Superman-Batman, you say? but those two have beaten each other up more times than i can remember ...

Monday, March 24, 2008

cliffhanger of the week #9

#7 - I Don't See The Light

what is our resident DC rapist up to? no good, of course. attempting to burglarize Superman's fortress only results in a beatdown by Batman. trouble is, where did Dr. Light disappear to? DC Nation wants to know!
Superman/Batman #43 (DC)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Mike McKone/Jonathan Glapion/Rebecca Buchman/Jason Wright/Rob Leigh

#6 - Show Me The Money

hey, superheroes need to send kids to college too. can you imagine how much pampers and twinkies and toys cost? its enough to drive a man to crime! and if you're the Flash, it'll be so easy!
The Flash #238 (DC)
Tom Peyer/Freddie Williams III/Tanya & Richard Horie/Travis Lanham

#5 - We Started the Fire

aside from a big explosion, a gun to the head of a protagonist or a protagonist's loved one is definitely cliffhanger material. and so it is found here in Robert Kirkman's long-running zombie epic, where much blood is once again spilled with the evil Governor's assault on the prison survivors. poor Rick Grimes. just can't catch a break.
The Walking Dead #47 (Image)
Robert Kirkman/Charlie Adlard/Cliff Rathburn/Rus Wooton

#4 - Kids Don't Play Nice

the point of the Initiative was to train superpowered kids in the use of their powers. so far all they've done is get manipulated by scheming adults and fight each other. right now, a formerly-dead MVP is wiping the floor with the Initiative recruits, and in a desperate gambit to use a clean MVP clone to use against the bad one, the kids run into the Justice-led New Warriors, who think doing the right thing is enough, so they have to do some posturing. basically, there is no difference between kids and adults when it comes to pissing contests.
Avengers: The Initiative #10 (Marvel)
Dan Slott/Christos N. Gage/Stefano Caselli/Daniel Rudoni/Joe Caramagna

#3 - Secret War

the war between the Penguin and the Whale is heating up. this is just like Happy Feet duking it out with Free Willy for the kids' attention at the box office! woooohooo!! and in between, a bird gets shot ... TFCKANW (the former Robin currently known as Nightwing). wooohoooo!
Gotham Underground #6 (DC)
Frank Tieri/Jim Calafiore/Jack Purcell/Mark McKenna/Brian Reber/Sal Cipriano

#2 - Danny's Got A Plan

yes, those words do not fill me with confidence either. but at least something's about to blow up, because i kind of got letdown with the pseudo-Mortal Kombat tournament they were hyping a few issues ago. please ... its time for more punching and kicking, less talking.
The Immortal Iron Fist #13 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Ed Brubaker/Tonci Zonjic/David Aja/Kano/Matt Hollingsworth/Artmonkey Studios

#1 - Time to Die

when you reach #49, you better make sure you got a cliffhanger. and Robert Kirkman knows this too well. Mark Grayson faces a grave betrayal, and we can't wait for next month to arrive.
Invincible #49 (Image)
Robert Kirkman/Ryan Ottley/Bill Crabtree/Rus Wooton

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Monday, March 17, 2008

cliffhanger of the week #8

counting down the best (i.e., the ones i read) cliffhangers of the week.

#7 - Diana The Khund

what? our Wonder Woman could be an alien? did that lump of goo contain some Khund DNA? why is she even believing this crap? the Khunds, a galactic conquering empire based on legends of Attila (Attila the Khund) or Gengis (Gengis Khund) recruits Diana - in the middle of her courting Tom Tresser a.k.a. Nemesis (what? you mean she's over Clark and Bruce?) - to help them repel another alien race. turns out these Khunds are pussies. and liars.
Wonder Woman #18 (DC)
Gail Simone/Bernard Chang/I.L.L./Rob Leigh

#6 - E.T. Ain't Phoning Home

speaking of aliens, how surprised were you like Ollie and Dinah to find that the suspects in Connor's kidnapping were of the unearthly kind? what a real close encounter, the kind where i'd like an autoloading crossbow in my hands! by the way, what happened to Dinah's plans to semi-retire to rear a kid and get married? damn aliens and villains screwing up family plans!
Green Arrow and Black Canary #5 (DC)
Judd Winick/Cliff Chiang/David Baron/Travis Lanham

#5 - We Have Explosive

take a big explosion, some may-jah characters and put them all in on the last page of any comic. presto! instant cliffhanger! after forcing Dr. Doom to bring them back to their proper timeline, Iron Man and the loopy Sentinel find themselves without Doom, and with a frantic Ms Marvel warning them to get away from the - yep, an explosion. oh well. see ya next month.
Mighty Avengers #10 (Marvel)
Brian Bendis/Mark Bagley/Danny Miki/Allen Martinez/Justin Ponsor/Dave Lanphear

#4 - Battlefield Hearth

so far the Millar/Hitch/Neary combo has been on schedule (yeah, wait till they get six, eight issues in), and serving up a healthy dose of sci-fi. Reed's ex and brainiac peer, Alyssa Castle, has developed a replica Earth where we can all go continue our destructive civilized way of life after this one has passed on. its supposed to be a better version, a true Utopia where all past mistakes have been taken into account, and we can start new generations with better lives. of course, that's when it all starts going wrong. speaking of wrong, what if you were the goody rock star and Miley Cyrus was the bad girl groupie? Johnny Storm has got a story for ya!
Fantastic Four #555 (Marvel)
Mark Millar/Bryan Hitch/Paul Neary/Paul Mounts/Rus Wooton

#3 - The Name of the Game

is there still an X-Factor? Rahne left to join X-Force, Rictor is a human, Laila's stuck in the future, Theresa is pregnant, Monet thinks Jamie is a sleazebag (only because he doesn't know he's the daddy), and Guido is seeing things. well, relatively. its the perfect time for an old villain to strike. i'll give you a couple of hints: the word denotes where your parents used to find you spending your lunch money when you were a kid, and it starts with the first letter of the alphabet. "Armory"? wrong!
X-Factor #29 (Marvel)
Peter David/Valentine De Landro/Andrew Hennessy/Jerony Cox/Cory Petit

#2 - Heeeeeeere's Warlock!

let's give a warm welcome to the return of self-friend Warlock to the Marvel Universe! and appearing in a sci-fi-slanted comic makes much more sense, despite spending all those years with the junior X-Men. true to the Technarch way of life, father raises son, son defeats father. now that Warlock is a pappy himself and has no time for any other distractions, looks like Nova's last hope of beating the Phalanx virus just went down the drain.
Nova #11 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Paul Pelletier/Rick Magyar/Guru eFX/Cory Petit

#1 - And Heeeeeeere's Warlock!

Messrs Abnett and Lanning land two cliffhangers this month, and both have Warlocks in them. sadly, in this case, he won't be a Warlock any longer, because everyone's favorite cosmic pin up boy has just been co-opted by Ultron. that's it, cash out your stocks, buy a spaceship and get the hell out of this galaxy. or just kill yourself now. the Earth is doomed.
Annihilation: Conquest #5 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Tom Raney/Scott Hanna/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna

Saturday, March 15, 2008

uh, Polish fans love Catwoman?

[So 22:51] Nie ma to jak zajebiste 38.1 na termometrze i dreszcze --> czyżby pokłosie czuwania w Częstochowie, Hunt? Mrugnięcie
[So 22:50] Zwiastun do nowego Hulka, ze tak powiem 'zasysa'...tzn jest do dupy --> zgadzam się, ale sceny z Abomination naprawdę niezłe.
[So 22:49] e tam,nei znasz się --> a sam się nie znasz! Aha, Selinę prywatnie? Hm, seksownie to nie wim, ale ładnie rysował ją Darwyn Cooke.
[So 22:30] Nie ma to jak zajebiste 38.1 na termometrze i dreszcze :-/
[So 20:27] ja mma na mysli nie Catwoman, a Seline prywatnie, bez kostiumu
[So 19:56]
[So 19:54] najseksowniejsza Catwoman to rysowal Jim Balent!
[So 19:49] radze*
[So 19:49] Leon - ja bym radzil jeszcze pomyslec, tylko stracic mozesz na swoim obecnym wyborze. Jak kolega ci to roadze
[So 19:49] Zwiastun do nowego Hulka, ze tak powiem 'zasysa'...tzn jest do dupy...wybrali chyba najgorsze ujecia filmu...a pierwsza scena wyglada jak pogawedka pary homoseksualistow...
[So 19:44] Ja po przemysleniach stawiam na Leona


uh, thanks for stopping by, guys.

of elephants and men (part 1)

this one occurs prior to the intro of new armors.