Sunday, January 31, 2010

dead like them

drive-by readings

X-Force #23 (Marvel)
"Necrosha: Chapter Four"
Craig Kyle
Christopher Yost
Clayton Crain
Cory Petit

apart from the cover which shows Banshee but in no way does he appear in the inside pages, i have no complaints about this issue, as the X-people completely realize they're in for a fight of their lives against their dead friends and enemies. considering they can't kill dead people, they're really out of options here. Emma Frost gets a nostalgic jolt when she sees a resurrected Blink, and the pain of that causes her to urge Logan to go postal on Selene. Warpath tries to stave off the slaughter by bringing Eli Bard the Spirit Blade, but of course the baddies take that and him back to Selene to provide entertainment by duelling with his late bro Thunderbird. its also interesting to see Archangel regrow his blade wings back even if Blink destroys(?) them. an intriguing subplot has the Wolf prince Hrimhari exchanging his soul for Hela to bring back Elixir, who in turn heals the now-pregnant Rahne - a difficult sacrifice.
oh wait, i have one more beef: Clayton Crain continues to exasperate. i can't make sense of the fight scenes, even if i recognize most of the characters being depicted.

hey, the proper term is Native American! yer gonna git sued for this!

Logan demonstrates what happens if you don't use Colgate Whitening.

oh, hey, look who unearthed this poster from 2003!

despite being hundreds of years old, Selene's no slouch when it comes to fashion, hey?

Saturday, January 30, 2010

snaps: Captain America: Reborn #6

... where everything's anti-climatic. two new pieces of information: there's an apocalyptic future coming (well, that's not news) and recite this phrase before you go to bed: "like father, like daughter."

i didn't know Sam swung that way.

you mean the Canadian cable company right?

first, she gets mind-controlled and shoots Steve. now, she makes the Red Skull like the green giant. way to go, Sharon!!!

seriously though: Bryan Hitch's art has been getting ... painful, shall we say, in the past year or so. this is not The Authority and Ultimates vol. 1 .

if its painful for us, how much more for Steve? his torso seems have been Kate Moss-ed.

they're running? are they catching the Acela back to New York? where the hell's Cloak?

by the way, does this mean they had him all along, before Clint went nuts and went to kill Osborn and the girls had to rescue him? shouldn't Steve have led the charge? who coordinates all these stories??

so ... it didn't take that long eh? it wasn't that long ago when i wrote this.

for Ed Brubaker's next trick: Jean Grey is coming back. and as a bonus, so will Uncle Ben.

Friday, January 29, 2010

they started it!

i have my beefs but damn if it doesn't make you go yeah!!! especially when Jensen "shoots" the security guards with his hands. [via @andydiggle]

<a href="" target="_new" title="'The Losers' Exclusive Look">Video: 'The Losers' Exclusive Look</a>

they turned a bit brighter and hipper than the original darker tone of the Diggle/Jock series. it won't give the A-Team a run for its money, but who knows?

snaps: Cry for Justice #6

... where we see that Grant Morrison did a better job having Prometheus go through the JLA like Joey Chestnut at the Nathan's 4th of July Hotdog Eating Contest. really. after knocking off the original Big Seven, it seems much easier to go through this team, Hal Jordan, Ollie Queen, Dinah Lance and Hawkman notwithstanding. and the surprise appearance of a mystery villain here, causing Prometheus to pause? i guess everyone forgot Catwoman crashing the original party and introducing her cat-o'nine-tails to his balls.

with this series being left behind in the dust due to scheduling and other problems (apparently initial artist Mauro Cascioli has been left to doing covers), and with Blackest Night grabbing most of the attention, Cry for Justice has been going downhill since.

see Hawkman with his mace:

see a mace-less Hawkman a couple seconds later.

what the hell? was his mace just a hologram? or did he have butterfingers and dropped it as soon as he saw Prometheus aiming at him?

Ray Palmer does not recommend the South Beach diet.

see Donna rip off Prometheus' visor, and basically rip off his face mask.

and the League were too polite and stupid enough to put it back together during the interrogation.

"sorry for messin' ya all up, Mistuh Prometheus. here, lemme put back yer headset and armor, so you kin still calculate all sorts of ways to kick our asses while we ask you questions."


are you serious??

meet the Her-Oes. really.

[image from via Wired]

well, since this country trots out beauty pageant contestants at age 5, and their role models are reality show stars and quasi-celebs behaving badly ... it kinda fits then.

aaaaaaaaaaand ... we're back.

the DC Universe is so circular. who are they gonna bring back next??

/uhh ... Batman?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

snaps: Fantastic Four #575

... where the Mole Man enlists our fearless foursome to help him ... am not really sure what for. there's this underground city that used to be inhabited by the High Evolutionary, and now it's rising up, and whoever stays within its limits becomes super intelligent. so it rises up, the US is in an uproar, and Ben Grimm may just, just maybe, become at par with Reed Richards in the smarts department.

and the cover of course, has no connection whatsoever with the story inside.

oh my, Princess Leia ... you look different.

get out!! he's a geneticist?? i thought he built a chain of hotels!

umm ... weren't you in New York ... where there's no fault line? (apparently there is.)

the best way to beat Galactus as always, is to starve him.

what are the chances that devolved children living miles beneath the earth's surface, speak English?

shut up, Steve Jobs!! Reed Richards had the HomePad even before your iPad was launched!!

snaps: Wolverine Origins #44

... where a title like Wolverine Origins get increasingly set in the present, and nothing much about his origins really have come much into fore since Daken and the idiotic Romulus. speaking of Romulus, he's up for lamest villain ever for being a huge drama queen. instead of Logan kicking better ass, he's resorted to recruiting big petulant green aliens for allies and jailbreaking a chick mis-named after a restauant chain, with a snow globe for a head.

who-hoah! hold yer horses right there, pardner! there was a fight but i wouldn't call it "epic".

no, you don't. bet you don't have Jean Grey's number.

let me get this straight: with the superpower-dampeners in effect, shouldn't Logan be screaming in pain right now because his healing factor's not working? or are mutant powers excluded?

the prospect of gay sex stunned the ultra macho Wolverine into a few moments of silence.

that would be like kissing a fishbowl. and no, Dagger is cooking pot roast tonight.

let me ask you some: you had Wolverine dead to rights, you coulda killed him, then you leave but go back to stalking him. you are the worst kind of obsessive fan, Romulus. Glenn Close had nothing on you.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

this ain't your Captain America

drive-by readings

Captain America #602 (Marvel)
"Two Americas, Part 1"
Ed Brubaker
Luke Ross
Butch Guice
Dean White
Joe Caramagna
Gerald Parel (cover)

Ed Brubaker finally unveils his master plan for reviving the Cap of the '50s - he's now a right-wing nut, with a burgeoning army to boot (ably filled by a Mark Gruenwald creation, the Watchdogs). no offense to the actual residents of Boise, Idaho - there are some serious crazies out there. with all the files S.H.I.E.L.D. or rather, Nick Fury has, how could they not track the insane William Burnside to his hometown? Bucky Cap and the Falcon cook up a plan to infiltrate the lunatic fringe, but Bad Cap may just be a couple of steps ahead of them. not sure how all of these ties into Siege (Fury mentions Osborn so that means it hasn't happened yet), and looks like a meaty side story before the launch of a post-Osborn Marvel Universe. hopefully, the (anti-climactic) last issue of Reborn also comes out before then.

snaps: Realm of Kings: Inhumans #3

... where a secret villain is revealed. really, nobody saw that coming light years away? also, it looks like Crystal+Ronan just may not just be a publicity stunt.

dude, its more, like, a whole barrel. word.

ok, stop teasing us. that's a Skrull. (actually no, its just an afterimage).

yes, drop him a line at gorgon@inhumans.hala, gorgeous.gorgon on Facebook, and @stomper on Twitter.

Pietro is gonna watch this on YouTube and he is soooooooo gonna be pissed.

does this mean Magneto is going to follow?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

snaps: Titans #20

... where am not sure why i read #21 first before this. this is certainly interesting. Donna Troy moves to Miami, and doesn't bring me along. even worse, she finds a handsome bartender to spend time with in-between Amazonian bitching and whining in the Titans tower.

i just hope they're not about bestiality.

clearly, this is the owner of those DVDs.

"LIMUX"? what the-!? what are the rules for product placement and fake product placement?

what's lamer than "Frightful Four"?

Hercules: "Woolly! And you say ..."

and the moral lesson here is: never interrupt Donna while she's eating.

Marvel secret project?

via and @TomBreevort

hey, that's the Liberty Legion - Miss America, Patriot, Whizzer, Blue Diamond, Thin Man, Jack Frost and maybe Red Raven. isn't it?

i care about pizza! will that work?

Mickey Rourke wants to slice.

Iron Man vs Whiplash #2

Monday, January 25, 2010

remember when Ant Man was morally-challenged?

/oh wait ... he still is.

something to look forward to

cover to G.I. Joe - Origins #12

though i grudgingly give Sienna Miller credit for filling the leather suit, i still think Kate Beckinsale would have made a better impression. whatever. i hope the interiors for this upcoming issue would be hmmm ... Greg Land-ish. (aw, c'mon!)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

snaps: X-Men #520

... where three non-American X-Men are sent to New York to watch Mamma Mia or The Loki Puppet Show on Broadway, and track those nanites sent via Predator X-press - it's those bunch of superpowered X-Men wannabes introduced back in issue five hundred-whatever. also, Magneto tries to make himself useful by propping up the sinking Utopia, but is rebuffed by Cyclops. consequently, he goes off to either find his center or go back to being a goddamned supervillain. i hope its the former, because i'm goddamned sick of the 'X-Men vs Magneto' cliche.

it's 2010 and they're still using the Blackbird like its 1999. ohh, they call it X-Jet now?

big talk, fish man. you like attending meetings when you can huff and puff (see Illuminati, Cabal).

Logan, you're all rich ... pay the frog! or promise him some escargot!

the X-Men are back in New York and no one raises a fuss? not even one calls H.A.M.M.E.R.?

hey, are you really Prometheus?

Fantomex casually regale strangers of his adventures. in a diner.

not after killing his wife, you don't. oh wait, that wasn't you?! well, why dintcha say so?! c'mere, big guy. bring it in! group hug, everybody!!