while i was out ...

gee ... did i miss a lot? i sure did. i even missed the one year anniversary of this blog. damn. well, it'll never happen again, 'cause there will never be another first year anniversary LOL.

i got a lot of catching up to do. and so far i've learned that ...

... Grifter is back.
but as usual, i don't know what the hell's going on with the WildC.A.T.S.


... She-Hulk cavorts with a Skrull

Jen's been trying to find herself since World War Hulk. not sure if you can "find yourself" by hanging out with someone who shapeshifts. and will this blow up in Jen's face by the time Secret Invasion arrives? most likely.

... Loki is a woman!

well, reborn as. and with that 'born again' thing, he/she seems to have turned a corner and is behaving himself. but with Dr. Doom in the background (and a mysterious serpentine thing), it won't be long till someone misbehaves.

... Binary is a Brood toy.

pretty Barbie doll Carol Danvers, experimented on by the Brood? should i even mention the hentai possibilities of that concept?

... the Hulk is now red.

and a murder suspect. how is this so? Bruce Banner is locked in an underground bunker. the clues point to loser sidekick Rick Jones.

... a Green Arrow is broken

Connor Hawke, aka Green Arrow's son, falls in a rescue of his pop from Amazons, so he can consummate his matrimonial duties with Black Canary. talk about a performance letdown. well, we won't be attending the funeral, 'cause there isn't one. Connor is just brain dead. darn.

... the one, true Atom has been found!

Ray Palmer, the key to the upcoming Final Crisis, has been found by the Outsiders hanging out in one of the 52 Universes. to be honest, i think i have a multiverse overload. it was bad enough prior to Crisis on Infinite Earths, then they had to do 52 (even though i grudgingly admit it was a well-defined gimmick). now with Countdown er, ... counting down ... there'd better be a great payoff here ... you hear me, Geoff Johns??

... the murderer of New Gods is revealed!

well, as of this writing, its a ball of sparkling blue energy. which tells us zip. or am just a fake fanboy because a true one would know who the hell this is by now. i don't care, just get it over with, and make sure to bring Big Barda back, because its not only Scott Free who's a little lonely (if you catch my drift). and oh, you can kill off the sanctimonious/pompous ass known as Metron.

... Ra's gets PWND. totally.

what's one step below cloning? a Lazarus Pit, of course, which gives you all the chances to keep holding off the Game Over sign. Batman did get dunked into one, enabling him to kick Ra's Al Ghul's ass once and for all, no matter how many bodies he keeps transferring his essence to. but do you think keeping him in Arkham will last forever? i smell another future crossover ...

... Ares has a crush on J-Drew.

Spider-Woman rejoins the Avengers to draw out the potential Skrull within their ranks. what she drew out first was something else (-snicker-).

... porn stars write comics too!

Jenna Jameson, who recently announced her retirement from the adult industry (collective groan), apparently dabbles into other things, like writing funnybooks. Shadow Hunter is a derivative fantasy book about a girl with a Hellish legacy and a big sword. sound familiar? speaking of familiarity, fans should just be content with the multiple alternative covers and posters depicting Ms Jameson from hereon, because she currently does not look like that anymore.

... demons = bad; angels = worse.

as Ghost Rider learns; he's being manipulated (ho-hum) for other nefarious ends. doesn't stop him from handing the devil his butt.

... Mike Mignola loves beating up Nazis.
and for good measure. here's to more Lobster Johnson in the near future. Indiana Jones who?


... Mongul Jr. = Yellow Pencil > Green Sword

owing to the events in Sinestro Corps War (a kickass space opera crossover, and highly superior to Marvel's Annihilation: Conquest), the son of Mongul comes into possession of a yellow ring, and aims to collect a few more. when he does, watch out, Green Lanterns!

... J. Michael Straczynski + The Twelve = Awesome Reading
a superhero whodunit that pays homage to Astro City, '60s Marvel, Alan Moore and Agatha Christie. not to be missed.


... Ultron + Phalanx = now i'm awake.

sorry, but the sequel to Annihilation seemed to plod along until it was revealed that Ultron now controls the Phalanx (much better than controlling Tony Stark, i guess). it got by with the glib personality of Peter Quill (i'm waiting till Nova rejoins the main story ... or maybe not) and the lesbian loving between Moondragon and Quasar.

... Nova is sidetracked by love in the time of disease.

fighting the Phalanx infection and eluding Phalanx-co-opted friends, Richard Rider and his trusty AI sidekick Worldmind have been missing from the main event. hope that changes soon.you hear me, Messrs Abnett/Lanning?

... Salvation Run is fun!!
all DC villains get dumped on alien planet; pretty soon, they are divided between Luthor and the Joker. fights ensue. this is much more entertaining than Countdown: Arena.


... and so is Thunderbolts, who are unraveling as i write this.
Venom is loose and hungry, Andreas Strucker/Swordsman is pulling off a coup, and T-Bolt head honcho Norman Osborn just went nuts (you got it - Goblin time!). good times.


... Havok never learns.
fighting another alien race alongside his long-lost villainous brother, Vulcan, it doesn't take long before Gabriel turns on Alex. to his credit, Cyclops would have fallen for it as well.


... Bucky is the new Cap!!!

yeah, yeah, yeah ... we saw that coming a mile away. but how to segue it in smoothly without looking forced? we see the genius of Ed Brubaker at work. after a successful (and controversial) resurrection and death, everything's coming full circle. bravo, Bru.

... Iron Man has many layers

and let's not hope he's not a Skrull too. that's too easy and it makes my head ache. the Knauf Brothers' penchant for industrial skullduggery and high tech mystery is a gripping read, and we hope the pot boils over in an action-packed showdown with the Mandarin. soon, because we're all itching for some Iron action (May 2 is still too far away).

... Messiah CompleX is even more so.

with too much betrayals and upenders and cliffhangers on every page, the most enjoyable X-Crossover in years has me on the edge of my seat. too many questions, and we await all the answers with bated breath.

... there's a new X-Force in town.

or as they call them: Sniff/Hack/Slash. Cyclops' secret weapon has been unleashed to go after Cable and do the dirty work against the Marauders, but all it got them so far was a dead Caliban. tsk tsk.

... the Stark hubris is prevalent in any universe.
stories from the Ultimate universe never fail to pique my curiosity, and with Tony Stark trying to find out what makes Bruce Banner tick (hey, Banner asked!), the outcome may not be so ... quiet.


... Atom Eve is reminding me to start reading Invincible.
or else.


... Peter and Mary Jane break up!!!

just to save Aunt May from eternal rest (not to sound heartless, but ... whyyyyyy?), the Parkers make a deal with the devil and the resulting Brand New Day storyline has most old school fans up in arms (simmer down, the Clone Saga was worse). so we find Peter with no memory of his previous life with MJ, and the whole thing is aimed to gain new readers, but at what cost, Joe Q?

... MJ becomes a superheroine!
i'm still scratching my head over this - i hope this is all isn't some kind of hallucination. i kinda like Greg Land.


and last but not least ...

... Adam Hughes still draws pretty pictures.
just for the heck of it (and a subject of a future post on all my favorite creators).