prom here to eternity

Avengers Academy #13, where we have the Red Skull dancing with another long-lost daughter!

kidding aside, this is a sweet issue, as the new Avenger kids have their first prom, and chaperoned by Hank Pym and Tigra. how time flies! wasn't it just long ago that Hank was boinking Tigra? wait, that was Skrull-Hank. i mean, wasn't it long ago that young Tigra was hanging out in the WCA? actually that had no bearing whatsoever. other comments:

• Speedball. DJ. "Take My Breath Away". awesome. (double awesome for Young MC. i hope it was "Bust A Move".)
• the gym where the prom was held was probably a self-repairing one, because with at least three altercations occurring during the dance, the punch bowl seems to refill itself.
• this is the only time Mettle (why did they design him to look like Johann Schmidt? why??) can boast of breaking Iron Man.
• Justice - Firestar = me sad. me love Kurt Busiek Avengers run.
• in a team, there should be a maximum of ONE character with "BALL" in his codename. Hardball and Speedball, duke it out in the corner. 
• there should be more interaction between Marvel characters ("Marvel Team Up", anyone?). example, Striker and Hellion could meet up and out-jackass each other.
• did they design adult Reptil to look like Humberto Ramos? because uh, his name is Humberto? (i love me some Humberto Ramos!)
• Katy Perry+prom = "Firework". what, no "Peacock"?? aw, c'mon!
• finally, Real Hank + Tigra = sexytimes.
• apropos to above, Jocasta may have something to say about that. and that word may be "Ultron".

story A-
art B+

coming out to play

drive-by readings

Shadowland: Power Man #2 (Marvel) "War In the Neighborhood" Fred Van Lente Mahmud Asrar Scott Hanna Bruno Hang Dave Sharpe

what we learned: now i get why the Simster was raving about this yesterday - only old school guys will probably get the joke. the new Power Man (Kid?) gets into a tussle with Danny and Luke (the original), and in the process draws attention from a bunch of gangs (well, really, just a representative) who's out to bag him for money. hilarity ensues.
oh shit moment: this kid can absorb Danny's chi? really? wait, shouldn't Danny be out like a light now? remember mind melds and that healing shit (when he first "died"; thanks a lot, Captain Power).
what's next: Nights-s-sh-sh-shade! (to the tune of "Shirt Tales")


uhhh .... she's ... Bejeweled?

dude, any goddamned tax is too damn high.

so git off yer high horse.

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Shadowland: Power Man #1

goodbye, Roy Harper.

t'was nice knowing ya.


thanks a lot, James Robinson and J.T. Krul.

snaps: The Sentry - Fallen Sun

... where we find our heroes visiting the grave of the Sentry (hey, he died just a few hours ago!), and reminiscing about the old days, adventures that make us go "huh, when did that happen?" then it dawned on us: the Sentry made us all forget about those times!! just like they do in Men in Black!! because, uh, he's such a heroic figure and all! cool!! uh, where am i again?

Robert's hair is so nice and soft, everyone wants to touch it.



that's dog-speak for "hey, did i bite off your arm?"



ok, what the hell is Daredevil doing here? and does Emma Frost need to attend in her elegant ho costume?



even in fictional character deaths, we get rick-rolled.



huh? how did Rogue become a bearded man? oh, that's Dr. Strange!?! geez, Tom Raney!



the portrait of an artist taking a dump



no. way. was this before or after Remy? so could there be a little Void-ish Marie Reynolds running around somewhere?

snaps: Batman & Robin #11

... where the past and present collide - man, those Waynes were such douchebags, much more than the Starks! these rich people. anyway, Robin is unfortunately being remote-controlled by his mother (oh, those mothers!) and we are still one issue away from truly finding the answers on what Dick found in the secret cave, and if Oberon Sexton is truly the missing Bruce or just a scented dandy.

* hey, so after like a year or so, Bruce is probably going back and reclaim his costume, and Dick goes back to being Nightwing, and for all of that, we had that atrocious Battle for the Cowl??

aside from being an arrogant twit, you're fine!


huh? aren't you talking about yourself?


but they do have 99 luftballoons!!! eeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!


ah, Deathstroke, still batting .000 for killing someone of real significance.


and for the question y'all wanted to ask ...


answers in 30 i guess ... because Morrison wants to stick it to the Eisner Award committee!!

snaps: Batman & Robin #10

... where this title picks up steam again since its first 4 issues. is Bruce Wayne really alive? ("yes.") will Damian stay on as Robin? ("cannot predict now.") will Talia succeed in her schemes? ("don't count on it.") is Thomas Wayne the Devil? ("reply hazy, try again.") how will this all end? ("better not tell you now.")

move over, Tim Geithner; there's a new genius in town!


but, but ... the wifi is so slooooooow. sir.


Teen Titans? he'd be lucky to be accepted in Young Justice!


a-ha! the next clue is in Rihanna's birthplace!


this is for taking my father's mantle, you circus oaf!

snaps: Ultimate Armor Wars #4

... where Tony discovers what a bitch the crazies in your family can be. and how unlucky he is in relationships. and how effective he is even when fighting in his underwear (just like Moon Knight). great job and twist by Warren Ellis.

then there was time Master Chief saved Tony's keister.


damn, old people just won't die.


hey, Tones ... doesn't she remind you of someone?


what are the odds that this tech-killing machine came from 616? hmmmmm ....


so, how the hell are you gonna get out of that chair now that everyone's dead, smart guy?

snaps: War Machine #12

... where once again we close the book on Deathlok Cyborg War Machine, and he commits the most stupid thing since Clint Barton failed to kill Norman Osborn.

1) haven't you heard? his favorite album is Control. duh.


2) you know as well as i do that parental abuse may create supervillains in the future.


3) who's paying their salaries again? the Maria Stark Foundation?



4) just to let you know ... Rhodes' 'cloned body' is actually Obama's.


5) yes, Jim Rhodes, you ARE a moron. you're no better than this idiot.



instead of fixing this situation right here and now, Rhodes leaves it to the Big Three to clean up. wheeeeee!

drive-by readings: Guardians of the Galaxy #17

Guardians of the Galaxy #17 (Marvel) "Adam Magus" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Brad Walker Victor Olazaba Scott Hanna Jay David Ramos Joe Caramagna Daniel Acuna (cover)

just after the War of Kings, half of the Guardians need to take care of the aftershocks of Black Bolt's suicide bomb gambit. simply put, the resulting explosion opens a hole in the fabric of space and its widening every second. Rocket Raccoon takes his half of the team to lay the law down on the surviving Inhumans, but some Japanese tentacle shit starts pulling Attilan inside, forcing them to deal with that emergency. solving that, there's the matter of that hole. Warlock makes a last ditch attempt to hook this timestream onto another unused one (don't ask), but at what cost? ahh, the initial tally so far is a skewered Phylla-Vell (who it turns out, had her own agenda), a Gamora with potentially a snapped neck, and the terrifying Alice Cooper impersonator below:


Warlock, by grafting the current timeline to another (mentioned as one he's familiar with), he sacrifices himself as that other timeline is the one where he went nutso. my head hurts. please consult with Reed Richards, as i am sure he and his ilk would find a solution to this. not. nothing's ever easy for this team and so it should be.

by the way, one thing i enjoy with the whole Guardians revival is the comedy part, mostly revolving around Rocket Raccoon and his wisecracking. also, DnA cleverly explains why Groot keeps saying "I am Groot!" and it took the who-knows-when-he's-sane Maximus to make us understand. holy crap, that made sense.

drive-by readings: War of Kings: Ascension #4

War of Kings: Ascension #4 (Marvel) "Fugitive" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Wellinton Alves Scott Hanna Guru eFX Cory Petit Brandon Peterson (cover)

last time we left Chris Powell, a.k.a. Darkhawk, he wrests back control of the suit from the Raptor Razor, but just right after the latter assassinates Lilandra for Vulcan. this immediately makes him somewhat Sh'iar Public Enemy Number One (depending on who you talk to), and the anti-BFF of Gladiator and the Starjammers. give him credit for making the best out of a really bad situation and taking the fight back to the Fraternity of Raptors. this series started out slow, but ends up a winner. and the open ending paves the way for the next cosmic crossover? right? right??

drive-by readings: War of Kings: Ascension #3

War of Kings: Ascension #3 (Marvel) "The End of All Things" Dan Abnett Andy Lanning Wellinton Alves Scott Hanna Nelson Pereira Guru eFX Cory Petit Brandon Peterson (cover)

holy crap, i didn't see that coming. yes, i may be a doofus, but screw you, this is my page. this is also why DnA have revitalized Marvel's cosmic titles in the last 3 years, and made for better entertainment than the crossovers happening in terra firma. deftly springing off from War of Kings #4, Chris Powell rightfully takes back the Darkhawk armor, but at the completely wrong time (you sly foxes, DnA!). so what's the point of gaining the advantage of knowledge over the Fraternity of Raptors (includes the ones from Toronto), when everyone thinks you're just a bully who shoots women for fun?

and hey, somebody answer this for me, as even Google is confused. is it Wellinton Alves or Wellington Alves?

oh, its on!

to: Silverhawks (snort)
from: Worldmind



do not think we will take this insult lightly, you winged abominations. "minor guardians of order" indeed. the Xandarians have no use for ugly flying objects as yourselves, as the Earthmen do sometimes to deliver their correspondences in absence of what they call a "postage stamp".

be forewarned that i will be sending my most powerful officer on you to open up that armor and squeeze you out like corned meat.


Richard, it is important that you listen at this time ...

wait, didn't i just take the Nova Force away from that Earthling ...

%%%%$&*#^@%!!
amp;*#^@%!!
amp;*#^@%!!

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War of Kings: Ascension #1

point taken

this is why Dark Reign is a much more intriguing "series" (more like an umbrella theme) than say, House of M, or World War Hulk, or even Secret Invasion. they were semi-contained stories to resolve an issue. but then again, we have all of that to thank, to be able to get to this point. Tony Stark now a "domestic terrorist"? how the mighty have fallen. Steve Rogers must be spinning and laughing in his grave.

Dark Reign somehow allows Marvel to fully explore the belly of the underworld beast, with characters we already know and hate (here's looking at you, Osborn). and the ascension of the bad guys wasn't a forced thing, not like a revised reality or time travel anomaly which needed to be corrected. the circumstances seem a bit over the top, and i can't believe Ben Urich is the only civilian questioning the whole thing (its like Fox News took over and everyone is drinking from their Kool Aid).

with a massive campaign of spinoffs and one-shots, Marvel is telling us 'hey, you don't need to buy it if you don't want to' (as is their usual line). i would like them to tell great stories and try to hit it out of the ballpark everytime and not just roll out spinoffs just for the sake of striking while the iron is hot.

Dark Reign: Hawkeye follows the 2nd most interesting Dark Avenger (yes, admittedly, i'd like to see the Iron Effin' Patriot get his comeuppance, after scheming and manipulating his way to eternity) - Bullseye. as we can see, donning Hawkeye's duds is the only thing he has in common with Clint Barton.

Bullseye is the real badass of the Marvel Universe, because he doesn't need a moral compass. even 'savage Wolverine' or 'Hand assassin Wolverine' is still deep down, Wolverine with a sliver of humanity. if Bullseye can kill you by looking at you, he would.

there's something delicious about solo Bullseye stories in this vein, pretty much like The Punisher/Garth Ennis reboot. Daniel Way hit the nail in recent memory (with Ennis co-conspirator Steve Dillon, no less) with Bullseye's Greatest Hits. Andy Diggle has moved seamlessly from Green Arrow to (Dark) Hawkeye, doing a complete 180 degree shift character-wise and it is so much fun. i have high hopes for this limited series. and i think Bullseye is gonna mess the whole gig up for Osborn.

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Dark Reign: Hawkeye #1

Mogo dissed!

for that remark, Mogo and the Green Lantern Corps made a deal with the Worldmind/Nova Corps to strip Richard Rider of the Nova Force (that should actually be my cliffhanger of the week!).

apparently, there's this little-known ruling in the Book of Oa that states, "thou shall not disrespect thy equivalent character(s) in other comics, and vice versa."

i smell crossover battle!

pulp friction

the Nova Corps has been restarted (take that, Green Lanterns, or whatever colors you want to be). that should normally be a good thing, except that it was done without the say of our man Richard. everything has been masterminded by the Mind called World.

look, it even deputized Richard's nerdy kid brother, Robbie.



wooohoooo - there's no fireworks like family fireworks. happy new year!

back on the saddle

just when i thought he'd be doing this space cop solo routine for a while ...

the Green Lanterns may have more character but that is a product of an advantage in years of quality writing. Nova has been truly fleshed out only in the last couple of years with Annihilation, and allowing him to grow without the Nova Corps.

thumbs up to DnA for great, great work.

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Nova #18

how green is your planet

World War Hulk sightings:

too many insects

Humbug is now more-than-half-bug, less-than-half-human. he thinks his mission is to make this world safe for his insect friends, hence he has to wipe out this new alien infestation. trouble is, his pals are overmatched against the Hulk's pals. much worse, the Queen Brood seems to have Humbug's number, including his secret blog. lest you think this is dragging on for far too long, next month is the one you've been waiting for!

Dugan talks to objects

after the beatdown T-Stark got from the Jolly Green Giant, S.H.I.E.L.D. is in almost total disarray. where's that bulldyke Maria Hill now?? anyway, Tony manages to give instructions to loyal service guy Dum Dum Dugan via his Extremis shit on one final Hulk-beating solution, but it involves lot of collateral damage.

the friend of my friend is my enemy

Rick Jones vs Miek! or not. this one is more of a philosophical battle and not much of a physical one (guess who wins! let's just say we all hope the Miek shall not inherit the earth, heh heh). those who wanted a lot more punch in their funny books best just skipped to the next one below ...

the Hulk beats up old guys

with the supposedly-Hulk's-friend and most-powerful-being-ever Sentry not answering Dubya's summons to join the fray, we have to endure the geezers General Ross and Doc Strange (well, not really a geezer yet, but in terms of seniority yeah) taken down by the Hulk. but wait! don't count the Doc out ... he's bringing out the Zom.

so yeah. who else is left? we need Nick Fury here asap! or Thor! we need Thor! (too bad, Thor#1 seems to take place after these events)

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Incredible Hulk #108
Greg Pak, Leonard Kirk, Scott Hanna
Iron Man#20
Chris Gage, Butch Guice
World War Hulk #2
Greg Pak, John Romita Jr., Klaus Janson
Heroes For Hire #12
Zeb Wells, Clay Mann, Terry Pallot

hulkamania 2

World War Hulk sightings:

Hulk Destroys the Marvel Universe
i mean, wow. it was almost as if, to a man, the Marvel head honchos said, "ok, how do we top our heroes kicking each others' butt? well, let's have the Hulk kick all their butts! and really good!" the Hulk has never been written this powerful and menacing, and he has control of all his faculties. means bad news for all his former friends, who wish they still had the original dumb Hulk leaping around.

She-Hulk? for once, blood is not thicker than water.


Ares? i think he has to give up this 'God of War' thing.


Human Torch? you must be kid-ding.


Ben Grimm? definitively the ass-kicking of his life.


and Mr. Smarty-Pants Reed Richards himself? well, you know what they say about good intentions. hopefully, he still has a third honeymoon in him.

that's Black Bolt, Iron Man, the Avengers (the supposedly mighty ones - how does this tie-in with New Avengers?), the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four ... including give or take a few of heavy hitters. the last remaining hope is Dr. Strange, who couldn't complete his spell, and the enigmatic Sentry (which for the life of me, i don't know why he's sitting at home watching Food Network). wait ... who's that approaching? is that General Thunderbolt Ross? seriously!?

Iron Man gets Screwed

by one of his Initiative recruits, no less. it didn't take long for sneaky government types to meddle with the super-army Tony Stark built. Hardball, an immature loose cannon who hasn't really revealed the full extent of his powers, has been coerced to sell the one thing that could have brought the Hulk down for family security. security, pfah!

New Yorkers have an Attitude. Even The Young'Uns.
if i were Daredevil, i'd have smacked the shit out of this kid. i'm just saying!


CSI Alienation

an android under the command of the AWH (aliens with Hulk) gets "killed" and the outerworlders are out for blood. what do we humans do? why, conduct an investigation, of course. easier said than done.

Ghost Rider Cops Out

and i mean the Ghost Rider, not Johnny Blaze. Dr. Strange said it well - Blaze was the one limiting the Rider's powers, because if not, you'd have a much more powerful entity unleashed on the world. however, that might be the one thing needed to beat the Hulk.

can you imagine the Hulk being mischievous? (straps a 7 train to the unsuspecting GR's chain)


after dropping a building on Hulk (cool) and expanding a huge blast of hellfire (how is NYC still standing?), it all comes to this staredown and ...


... nothing. Ghost Rider drives away because he only avenges the innocent.

which most certainly, our so-called protectors (Iron Man, Reed Richards, etc.) haven't been.

but ... but ... what about the innocents killed in this attack? you mean there's no body count? are you kidding me?

damn you, Daniel Way!


i knew the continuity was breaking down. for those who haven't read it yet, sorry for spoiling it for you, but you'd better read this thing from beginning to end when its all said and done.
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World War Hulk #2
Greg Pak, John Romita Jr., Klaus Janson
Avengers: The Initiative #4
Dan Slott, Stefano Caselli
World War Hulk: Frontline #2
Paul Jenkins, Ramon Bachs
Ghost Rider #13
Daniel Way, Javier Saltares, Scott Hanna