how to treat your future father-in-law

especially if its Sinestro (duh).

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Green Lantern Corps #53

mostly a good J Arthur

drive-by readings

Knight and Squire #1 (DC) "For Six, Part One" Paul Cornell Jimmy Broxton Guy Major Steve Wands Yanick Paquette/Michel Lacombe/Nathan Fairbairn (cover) Billy Tucci/Hi-Fi (variant cover)

what we learned: England's Batman and Robin get their own book, and who better to chronicle their adventures but British writer Paul Cornell (i totally miss Captain Britain and MI:13). in this first issue, Knight and Squire whoop it up in their version of The Bar With No Name, only this bar is a DMZ for both heroes and villains (and quite a few arcane characters only a British writer can imagine in his sleep). even Wildcat stops by for a pint or two. everything's hunky dory until somebody starts a fire.
oh shit moment: you could hear a pin drop before everything breaks loose. and artist Jimmy Broxton loves himself too much.
what's next: more Britannia!


ggg
they lied! they still sacrifice virgins!

purplish haze

drive-by readings

Scalped #40 (DC/Vertigo) "Unwanted Part 2" Jason Aaron R.M. Guera Giulia Brusco Trish Mulvhill Steve Wands Jock (cover)

what we learned: Red Crow and Dash's dad Wade do the tango, but no shots are fired. bummer. Carol wrestles with her pregnancy and abortion, and her palpable fear and anxiety gets to you. also, Dash is either hallucinating or is in an actual community with a shaman and he's puking spiders and shit.
oh shit moment: ever ran around in the snow naked in the dead of night?
what's next: that Dash/Shunka rematch will have to wait.


it was sad when they kicked Kevin Costner out of the rez.

clipped wings

drive-by readings

Birds of Prey #24 (DC) "Endrun Part 4: Impact Fracture" Gail Simone Ed Benes/Adriana Melo J.P. Mayer Nei Ruffino Steve Wands Alina Urusov (cover) Ryan Sook/Joel Gomez/Fernando Pasarin/Randy Mayor/Carrie Strachan (variant cover)

what we learned: just when we thought the Birds were down, they get back into the game. the White Canary is the sister of 12 brothers Dinah bitchslapped years ago, and now their sister is here to reclaim the family honor. Dove finds the mettle to introduce her fist to Penguin, who's already counting his birds before the eggs have even hatched. meanwhile, Creote and Savant attempt to push Barb off the edge, but its actually Savant who wants to die. and its all been a gay thing. oi.
oh shit moment: can we have Yuen Wo-Ping coordinate the fight scenes between Black and White Canaries? awesome!
what's next: what, Shiva framed Dinah?


Michael Phelps would be proud.

humanize

drive-by readings

Green Lantern Corps #51 (DC) "Revolt of the Alpha-Lanterns Part 4" Tony Bedard Ardian Syaf Vicente Cifuentes Randy Mayor Steve Wands Ryan Sook/Joel Gomez/Fernando Pasarin/Mayor/Carrie Strachan (variant cover)

what we learned: lemme get this straight: Cyborg Supes turned Lanterns into Alpha Lanterns so they would attract the attention of Ganthet so he can turn them all back into mortals, especially Cyborg Supes? and you thought Lost was convoluted. anyhoo, with the little juice his ring has left, Kyle grabs Lantern Hannu as an equalizer, and just in time because Boodikka shows up. her final sacrifice is to power up the GLs.
oh shit moment: Qward? White Lantern stuff? ooooooooooooooo.
what's next: for Stel! for Grenda! for the Corps!!


naaah, that's centuries of not eating healthy, you blue pig.

a green can of whupass

drive-by readings

Emerald Warriors #1 (DC) "Last Will" Peter Tomasi Fernando Pasarin Cam Smith Randy Mayor Steve Wands Rodolfo Migliari (cover) Lee Bermejo (variant cover)

what we learned: recently-voluntarily-demoted-to-Lantern Ganthet has recruited Guy Gardner and Atrocitus for some great mission (which would probably lead to the next GL crossover), and this debut issue reminds how much of an asskicker Guy can be. but this time, he's using his brains more.
oh shit moment: who's the purple guy with the flaming sword?
what's next: wasn't a big Guy Gardner fan because he's a natural dickhead, but recent years of GL and GL Corps have turned me around. i hope he doesn't bite the bucket in this series. or become a full Red Lantern (tell-tale blood on lips).


no, no, no! they're Skrulls! except they're blue!!

NYPD Green

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art from Emerald Warriors #1

treehugging

drive-by readings

Gotham City Sirens #14 (DC) "Strange Fruit Part One" Tony Bedard Andres Guinaldo Lorenzo Ruggeiro JD Smith Tomeu Morey Steve Wands Guillem March (cover)

what we learned: Paula Irving a.k.a. Poison Ivy's Star Labs career moves on to its next chapter: getting taken over by an alien plant life form! and you thought The Happening was bad.
oh shit moment: Ivy may be doing this out of her own accord. naah, there'll be a twist/reversal next issue.
what's next: we need saltwater!!!


you never met Plantman yet, have you?

resistance is futile. no, not really.

drive-by readings

Green Lantern Corps #50 (DC) "Revolt of the Alpha Lanterns Part 3" Tony Bedard Ardian Syaf Vicente Cifuentes Randy Mayor Carrie Strachan Steve Wands Patrick Gleason/John Dell/Mayor (variant cover)

what we learned: the Cyborg Superman (the anti-thesis of regular comic characters because he wants to die and he can't) is still up to his shenanigans (well, give him credit, he does want to kill himself) and goes through a convoluted plan to turning Lanterns into Alpha Lanterns just to attract the attention of ex-Guardian-now-Lantern Ganthet. hmmmmm, so who's the mysterious dude who told Henshaw these things?
oh shit moment: Ardian Syaf goofs on Ganthet's hand - i mean correct me if i'm wrong (see below).
what's next: paging Dr. Kevorkian!! we have been paging you since 1992, dammit!!


yes, you're right. no, your left.

early Christmas for Oswald

look who got the virtual porn implants - in HD, no less!!



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Birds of Prey #3

DC artists are Russians

front and center: Joe Bennett (БЭНЭТ); below: Jack Jadson (ЛЖаДСОН). and others i can't make out.


the motherland vill triumph!!!

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Justice League: Generation Lost #4

BATMAN

... apparently doesn't know how to modulate his voice.



/lame-ass Chris Sims tribute of the week

playing with fire

drive-by readings

Justice League: Cry For Justice #7 (DC) "Justice" James Robinson Mauro Cascioli Scott Clark Ibraim Roberson David Beaty Siya Oum Giovani Kososki Steve Wands this series mercifully ends, with the Internet broken in half, from apathy and indignation. the way this series progressed, i increasingly leaned toward the latter. it seemed more and more like a shock jock show - oh, look, they cut off Roy's arm! will Supergirl's head be next? in the end, what was Prometheus' purpose? its not like he wants to outwit the League, though he did that in spades - it was more like he wanted to be a mass murderer and had a death wish (which by now, y'all knew he got it). that seemed out of character for a character that had so much potential since Grant Morrison created him. he's really Luthor with the balls to get his hands dirty. and for all the dazzling painted artwork of Mauro Cascioli, this issue is not served by having others help out with the work. but who cares eh? in a couple of years, we'd all but forgotten Prometheus was even dead (because he'd be alive somewhere and being a pain in the butt again).

foreshadowing much? but when did threatening a supervillain ever work? you give him a tumor first!


"Electrocutioner"? is lame codenames the new black?


see Ray have tiny gimpy leg. see Ray suddenly have a normal leg.


four words: get. a. friggin'. room.


oh, who are you kidding?? he'll be back within two years.

with feeling

drive-by readings

Scalped #35 (Vertigo/DC) "Listening to the Earth Turn" Jason Aaron Danijel Zezelj Guilia Brusco Steve Wands Jock (cover) haven't read much this week, but for sheer emotional drive, this is hands-down my best book so far. taking a break from the action and backstabbing, but not taking the gas off the heartbreaking. Danijel Zezelj's bleak landscapes and tone fit the story of Mance and Hazel Boaz, hardy survivors of the Dakota Badlands, who are undergoing a grueling winter, tending their meager crops, and identifying Air Force jets from the sound of the engines as they lie in bed at night. food is scarce, and the biggest challenge is to drive into town and ask for supplies from the Assistance Center. it certainly takes a lot of guts to swallow your pride and accept the fact that some things are beyond your control. Mance though, maintains a modicum of pride by only accepting less than what's being offered. but the winter isn't done with them yet. Hazel's taken sick so they drive into town for medicine. this turns out to be a blessing in disguise, as a wayward jet crashes into their house. but their indomitable spirit gets them through, and out of disaster, hope springs eternal. this issue put a lump in my throat, as i can easily put myself in their shoes. i may be a big fan of the superhero genre, but its comics like these that justify me staying a fan.

Superman's first hickey

and it wasn't LANA!!!

snaps: Cry for Justice #6

... where we see that Grant Morrison did a better job having Prometheus go through the JLA like Joey Chestnut at the Nathan's 4th of July Hotdog Eating Contest. really. after knocking off the original Big Seven, it seems much easier to go through this team, Hal Jordan, Ollie Queen, Dinah Lance and Hawkman notwithstanding. and the surprise appearance of a mystery villain here, causing Prometheus to pause? i guess everyone forgot Catwoman crashing the original party and introducing her cat-o'nine-tails to his balls.

with this series being left behind in the dust due to scheduling and other problems (apparently initial artist Mauro Cascioli has been left to doing covers), and with Blackest Night grabbing most of the attention, Cry for Justice has been going downhill since.

see Hawkman with his mace:


see a mace-less Hawkman a couple seconds later.


what the hell? was his mace just a hologram? or did he have butterfingers and dropped it as soon as he saw Prometheus aiming at him?

Ray Palmer does not recommend the South Beach diet.


see Donna rip off Prometheus' visor, and basically rip off his face mask.


and the League were too polite and stupid enough to put it back together during the interrogation.

"sorry for messin' ya all up, Mistuh Prometheus. here, lemme put back yer headset and armor, so you kin still calculate all sorts of ways to kick our asses while we ask you questions."

WHAT THE HELL.

snaps: Green Lantern Corps #44

... where we see how badass a planet can be. especially a Green Lantern planet. also, the throwdown between Red Lantern Guy and his Green buddies is for next issue. stay tuned.

now we know who's the top and who's the bottom.


Guy easily aced his Ax Men audition.


how? well, there are these things called laxatives ...


Mogo sucks!! Mogo sucks!!! Mogo sucks!!!


this time, the grass smoked the hippies.

hi, i'm Luthor ... Dick Luthor.

imagine if you had some form of terminal cancer. and Lex Luthor cured you. then he gave it back to you after five minutes.

dick.

what DOES NOT distract Deadshot?

one word: CLEAVAGE.

love & rage

drive-by readings

Green Lantern Corps #43 (DC) "Red Badge of Rage" Peter Tomasi Patrick Gleason Rebecca Buchman Tom Nguyen Randy Mayor Steve Wands Ladronn (variant cover)

in just one issue, we get the best emotional impact of Blackest Night to the Green Lanterns, and its not even in the main series or the core GL title. it's just like that time in the Sinestro Corps War when all Kyle and Hal broke free of Parallax and all four major GLs yelled the oath.

with Kyle having been apparently felled by those black lantern zombies, best friend (whodathunk really) Guy Gardner goes into a berserker rage, takes a Red Ring in stride and proceeds to unleash hell on all their enemies. if that's not friendship, i don't know what is.

on the other side of the equation, Soranik Natu's love for Kyle attracts the attention of Sapphire, and the power of love brings him back from the brink. awwww, isn't that sweet? no, seriously it is.

not sure what are the ramifications for Guy running amok, though he hasn't harmed any Greens or innocents anyway. besides after this, will there be still any Guardians to be in charge of the Corps? or for that matter, will they be even in charge of anything?

Peter Tomasi is making a case for the Baseball HOF. because he keeps knocking these issues out of the park.