just in time for the elections!

somewhere in Alaska, and in the Tea Party headquarters, heads just exploded.

teething

drive-by readings

Ultimate Avengers #3 (Marvel) "Blade Versus The Avengers, Part One of Six" Mark Millar Steve Dillon Andy Lanning Matt Hollingsworth Cory Petit Leinil Francis Yu/Marte Gracia (cover) Greg Land/Justin Ponsor (variant cover)

what we learned: not sure why this title is still rolling. the first incarnation of the Ultimates were fantastic, and had great resonance with the 616 Universe because they were dark mirrors of the real deal. now its just like scraping the bottom of the barrel. its probably the trendy vampire thing (i'm still chewing on X-Men #1-2) - now they have the undead biting on heroes and the black ops Avengers are called in, because Stick, the lameass Daredevil-who's-not-Matt-Murdock ("Ray Connor"? really?), and possibly the Hulk have all fallen in with the bloodsuckers. basically, its just a Blade comic crossed with the Daredevil and Elektra movies sprinkled with some Kick Ass. Steve Dillon makes it bearable. just.
oh shit moment: just when we're getting sympathetic with Connor, the dork gets bitten. now we just hate the kid.
what's next: is Cassidy gonna show up?


Blade doesn't give head, he takes them.

things i liked this week

Avengers #1 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Dean White/Cory Petit
Avengers - reformed! Kang - in da house! Wonder Man - on the verge of becoming a douchebag (again)! Hulk - on the loose! Next Avengers - now part of the 616! me - hoppin'!

Batman: Streets of Gotham #12 (DC)
Paul Dini/Dustin Nguyen/Derek Fridolfs/John Kalisz/Steve Wands

i like this book for its consistent quality output, not to mention the longtime partnership between artist and inker. "The Carpenter's Tale" is an interesting one - an SFX expert hired for the 'Death of Batman' movie may be way out of her depth (yes, "her") - but am intrigued more about Damian's wheeling and dealing on the side. not unlike his dad (example, bribing Mirror Master, JLA #12).

Atlas #1 (Marvel)
Jeff Parker/Gabriel Hardman/Elizabeth Breitweiser/Ed Dukeshire (cover: Terry/Rachel Dodson)
wasn't sufficiently intrigued before (liked: crossover with T-Bolts, X-Men), but now with framed 3-D Man on the run, and possibly joining them, all bets are off.


X-Factor #205 (Marvel)
Peter David/Val De Landro/Pat Davidson/Jeromy Cox/Cory Petit (cover: David Yardin/Nathan Fairbairn)

a Second Coming tie-in, David neatly segues Bastion's plans into whatever he's had in mind for Madrox's team, but it doesn't look like X-Factor Investigations can be separate any longer. i mean, if they're all dead by the end of this thing. and hmmm, an uneasy alliance with Baron Mordo may be in the works.

X-Men Legacy #236 (Marvel)
Mike Carey/Greg Land/Jay Leisten/Justin Ponsor/Cory Petit (cover: Adi Granov, variant covers: David Finch/Matt Banning/Peter Steigerwald/Mike Choi)

sorry to be playing like a broken record, but Second Coming maintains its breakneck pacing (Siege? what Siege?) and am thoroughly enjoying the heck out of it. our merry band of mutants are now trapped inside a sphere covering the San Fran area, and uber-Nimrods have arrived to finish the job. we also see the first team-up with the Avengers 4.0, and its fun, despite some awkward jokey dialogue between gods, mutants and mortals. now i wonder when Hope is going to pull her weight.

Zatanna #1 (DC)
Paul Dini/Stephane Roux/Karl Story/Pat Brosseau/John Kalisz (variant cover: Brian Bolland)

and y'all thought Z was sexy naughty! now. must. buy. statue. what about this debut issue? ummm, she owns crowds. and she pwns demons. yeah, that's it.

Rescue (one shot) (Marvel)
Kelly Sue DeConnick/Andrea Mutti/Jose Villarubia/Clayton Cowles (cover: Travel Foreman/June Chung)
well, this should be called "Are Those Your Gloves or Are You Just Happy to See Me" ...ok, moving right along - at least someone remembered who Happy Hogan was, and i for one, am glad to see him make a reappearance here (although it is really about Pepper). whether Tony cut off his life support or not, i want him, or better yet Pepper herself, to beat the snot out of Spymaster for causing the events that led to Happy's coma. and now let us sing, "God bless you please, Missus Frac-shi-on, we like this book than you will know, woh woh woh ..."


Deadpool #23 (Marvel)
Daniel Way/Carlo Barberi/Juan Vlasco/Marte Gracia/Joe Sabino (cover: Jason Pearson)

Deadpool's quest to become a good guy brings him to Vegas, where he finds his old pal Weasel working as a glorified security guard. now that sounds like a good gig, right? but am just not sure about Grizzly - shouldn't he be in jail after serving with Osborn's Thunderbolts?

War of the Supermen #3 (DC)
James Robinson/Sterling Gates/Cafu/Bit/Blond/John J. Hill (cover: Eddy Barrows/JP Mayer/Rod Reis, variant cover: Aaron Lopresti/Matt Ryan/Brad Anderson)

to rescue the dying Kryptonians, Flamebird restarts the sun as yellow - and cough, cough, conveniently only saves Superman and Supergirl. General Zod wants payback - and the Earth is doomed. man, at this rate, nobody would insure anyone anymore - everything's force majeure.

Invincible Iron Man #26 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Salvador Larroca/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna (cover: Carlos Pacheco)
i only have one question: was the fat programmer that Spymaster bought out at the beginning really Robert Kirkman?


Superman/Batman #72 (DC)
Paul Levitz/Jerry Ordway/Steve Wands/Pete Pantazis (cover: Fabrizio Fiorentino)

ex-publisher Levitz returns to full time writing, and here he puts Lois Lane in mortal danger from a Superman-worshipping cult. only Bats is around to help, but will he be there in time? Ordway's art seems enhanced, and maybe its because he's inking himself, and the Pantazis coloring.

G.I. Joe #18 (IDW)
Chuck Dixon/SL Gallant/Gary Erskine/Andrew Crossley/Chris Mowry (covers: Kelsey Shannon/Robert Atkins)

a paintball training exercise goes belly up as a Joe team finds itself against two Cobra soldiers, instantly morphing into live fire action. only Covergirl's (yes, Covergirl!) instincts save the day. man, you guys better step up.

Ultimate Avengers 2 #2 (Marvel)
Mark Millar/Leinil Francis Yu/Gerry Alanguilan/Laura Martin/Cory Petit

so there's another Hulk, someone who came before this Ultimate Hulk we know? apparently, he's a badass gangster using the Third World as his toilet. exactly the kind of guy Samuel Jackson, i mean, Nick Fury needs for his black ops team, because they need to take down ... the Ghost Rider? do tell.

Atomic Robo & the Revenge of the Vampire Dimension #3 (Red 5)
Brian Clevinger/Scott Wegener/Ronda Pattison/Jeff Powell
let's just say this put the icing on the cake:

things i liked this week

Scalped #37 (DC/vertigo)
Jason Aaron/Davide Furno/Guilia Brusco/Steve Wands (cover: Jock)
consistently good, the conclusion of last issue's story arc "A Fine Action of an Honorable and Catholic Spaniard", has a surprising twist, and as gritty as any. Shunka thinks he's acted on his convictions, but as it turns out, he's been played by his own kind. Vasco Núñez de Balboa would be kind of disappointed.


Justice Society of America #38 (DC)
Bill Willingham/Jesus Merino/Jesse Delperdang/Allen Passalaqua/Rob Leigh

an intriguing tale (though not original): time has been changed and Jesse James' favorite people have taken over. a Darkness wave has negated all superpowers and no one can step up to the goose-steppers. ex-superheroes are executed for entertainment, and for some reason, Michael Holt is on the side of bad guys. why? well, since Batman just bit the dirt, he's the only one with the brains to get them out of this.

Secret Warriors #15 (Marvel)
Jonathan Hickman/Stefano Caselli/Sunny Gho/Dave Lanphear (cover: Jimmy Cheung/Mark Morales/Justin Ponsor)
i liked the confrontation between Nicky and the Contessa - i guess that's that for them. i'm just confused of all this Hydra/Leviathan business. i guess i need to go back and re-read (especially now with another Hickman distraction, S.H.I.E.L.D.). nice touch on the Logan/Viper wedding (the '90s were a pretty weird time).


Mighty Avengers #36 (Marvel)
Dan Slott/Khoi Pham/Craig Yeung/Dave Meikis/John Rauch/Dave Lanphear

i think we're giving this Earth's Supreme Scientist/smartest man alive/starring role to Hank Pym or else he's gonna go nutso on us again. actually, they should go back to making him Yellowjacket. at least he doesn't pretend he's not a douche. hey, Hank, you just got c-a-n-c-e-l-e-d.

New Avengers #64 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/Mike McKone/Dave McCaig/Albert Deschesne (cover: Stuart Immonen/Wade Von Grawbadger/McCaig)

what's with Madame Masque? suddenly she's now the power under The Hood? (yeah i know they wuz knockin' boots, but hey, that's like trading down from a Ferrari (Tony Stark) to a Kia (yeah, Parker Robbins, without the Norn Stones, you iz just a punk). notice that this shipped earlier than Siege #4, so basically we all get spoilers. what? Norman Osborn is the Green Goblin??

how can she slap??

Thunderbolts #143 (Marvel)
Jeff Parker/Miguel Sepulveda/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne (cover: Adi Granov)
great syncing with the Siege Avengers titles. a perfect sendoff to the most interesting bunch of villains south of Dark Avengers. and perfect lead in to Luke Cage's stint as new T-Bolt MC.

X-Factor #204 (Marvel)
Peter David/Val De Landro/Pat Davidson/Jeromy Cox/Cory Petit (cover: David Yardin/Nathan Fairbairn)

i've read somewhere that Peter David hates crossovers, especially when it affects the stories he wants to tell (what writer wouldn't?). but Second Coming seems ok here: the Bastion-influenced military goes after X-Factor, starting with a use of a decoy (the Absorbing Man is a cuckolded husband!) to lure them out of their HQ and get ambushed. over in South America, Guido's having a wee bit of trouble with Baron Mordo. and then these soldiers come out of the woodwork. for all the pain they get, i doubt if Jamie would be the one to kick Bastion's ass when the time comes.

X-Force #26 (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/Mike Choi/Sonia Oback/Cory Petit (cover: Adi Granov, variant covers: David Finch/Matt Banning/Peter Steigerwald/John Cassaday/Laura Martin)

the much-talked about comic of the week, and the most telegraphed as well. this is not going to be a spoiler since you have the Internetz. yes, Kurt Wagner is dead, and for some reason, Bastion's brain is located in his arm (how else would his body just collapse after Kurt bamfs his arm off the grid?). looks like an X-Man dies with every issue of Second Coming. i am ambivalent about this development (because maybe he'll be back someday).

Captain America #605 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Luke Ross/Butch Guice/Dean White/Joe Caramagna (cover: Gerald Parel)
more often than not, i have no sympathy for crazy people, so i cheered Buck on as he pulled the trigger on his machine gun to stop Bad Cap from detonating the bomb on the Hoover dam. but if you don't find a body, always expect bad things. when was the last time that an unrecovered villain's body was the end of it?


Thor #609 (Marvel)
Kieron Gillen/Billy Tan/Matt Banning/Rich Elson/Christina Strain/June Chung/Joe Sabino (cover: Mico Suayan/Laura Martin)
the Asgardians strike back! Loki has been de-pantsed. Broxtonians like Volstagg. Siege is almost over, and i anxiously await how Asgard is going to be rebuilt.


Ultimate Avengers 2 #1 (Marvel)
Mark Millar/Leinil Francis Yu/Gerry Alanguilan/Laura Martin/Cory Petit (variant cover: Marc Silvestri/Sunny Gho)
look who's dressed up as a Captain America! why, its that Punisher fellow back when the 616 Cap just died. anyhoo, Samuel Jackson Nick Fury, fresh off orchestrating a coup to get his (sort of) old job back, has recruited mass murderer Frank Castle to his new team. next up: the first Hulk. who? by the way, i like reteaming of countrymen Leinil Yu and Gerry Alanguilan (those weird '90s Wolverine, Superman: Birthright among others) for art duties. sugod!


Invincible Iron Man #25 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Salvador Larroca/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna (variant covers: Rian Hughes/Tetsuya Aoki/Ryan Meinerding/Herb Trimpe)
Iron Man is back. and he wants to change the world. gently, this time. but he only takes cash.

things i liked this week

X-Men: Legacy #235 (Marvel)
Mike Carey/Greg Land/Jay Leisten/Justin Ponsor/Cory Petit (cover: Adi Granov)
you know things are really grave (pun intended) when goody-two-shoes Doug Ramsey makes BFF Warlock suck the life-force out of Hodge and the Right soldiers. in other words, the New Mutants should really no longer be called such, becaused they've been bloodied to hell and back already. our intrepid mutants sustain two more blows, and one's a Fallen Angel (if any of you still remember). i don't care if Greg Land is drawing this (and in one panel, Cable's mouth is not symmetrical to his face), this is shaping up to be an exciting X-crossover.


Ultimate Avengers #6 (Marvel)
Mark Millar/Carlos Pacheco/Dexter Vines/Cory Petit/Justin Ponsor/Laura Martin
an ending worthy of past Millar Ultimates books. father and son finally gets the their final 5-minute faceoff, and guess who loses. Carlos Pacheco turns in overall, his best work in recent years (except for random details, like two missing jet needles in one panel, certainly an important element to the eventual conclusion).


Doomwar #3 (Marvel)
Jonathan Maberry/Scot Eaton/Andy Lanning/Robert Campanella/Jean-Francois Beaulieu/Cory Petit (cover: John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Dean White)
Doom has Vibranium
the Panther God lets him pass
T'Challa is pissed.


Batman: Streets of Gotham #11 (DC)
Paul Dini/Dustin Nguyen/Derek Fridolfs/John Kalisz/Steve Wands

finally someone takes down Zsasz. Damian's character is getting fleshed out, and DC is doing right with him. i think now he's much more interesting than Tim Drake. thank the God of Comics.

Power Girl #11 (DC)
Justin Gray/Jimmy Palmiotti/Amanda Conner/Paul Mounts/John J. Hill
i wouldn't say its a cop out, but having a cloning tank takes the thrill out of beating the bad guys. but listen, a monthly Power Girl book is always a must. so, please don't cancel this.


Guardians of the Galaxy #25 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Brad Walker/Andrew Hennessy/Wil Quintana/Joe Caramagna (cover: Alex Garner)

the team is back together again, and i couldn't be happier. hey, wait, according to the future iterations of the Guardians, this 2010 version of them are the only ones standing in the way of annihilation caused by the chronal error of a resurrected Thanos. let The Thanos Imperative begin.

Green Lantern #53 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Doug Mahnke/Christian Alamy/Keith Champagne/Mark Irwin/Randy Mayor/Nick Napolitano (variant cover: Ryan Sook)
Johns allows us a bit of a moment to catch our breath before Brightest Day, and what best way to spend it except to witness playful flirting between Highball (heh - he only has one ball and he's high) and Carol. turns out Sinestro wants to join in. in other news, who's this character who seems to be the sole protector of the Universe back when it was young? could it be ... G.O.D.?


Siege: Spider-Man #1 (Marvel)
Brian Reed/Marco Santucci/Chris Sotomayor/Joe Caramagna (cover: Marko Djurdjevic)
this one-shot is both a treat and a letdown, as Brian Reed follows up on the Peter-Carol angle (which makes sense as he's made his peace with Michelle and the MJ option has slim odds). and we get them beating up on TIKAMG (The Idiot Known as Mac Gargan). but that has no complete closure as it all occurs during Siege. duh.


Dark Wolverine #85 (Marvel)
Daniel Way/Marjorie Liu/Stephen Segovia/Cam Smith/Marte Gracia/Cory Petit/Rain Beredo
not sure why i like this. it has the annoying Romulus. and also the most gay-ass scenes between Logan and Daken, it borders on creepy. maybe its because we finally see the punk get stabbed with the Muramasa blade.


Captain America: Who Won't Wield the Shield (Marvel)
Jason Aaron/Mirco Pierfederici/Todd Klein/Matt Fraction/Brendan McCarthy/Howard Hallis/Stuart Moore/Joe Quinones/Javier Rodriguez
why can't they do these more often? and tone down the Deadpool stuff. is there a law against Assistant Editor's Month? (pssst. its not Assistant Editor's Month. whatever.)

snaps: Ultimate - New Ultimates #1

... where we find Jeph Loeb continuing his massacre of the Ultimate Universe in the attempt to out-Millar Mark Millar, and possibly even @Not_Mark_Millar. by the time this ends, i won't be surprised if there were no Ultimates left. tell you what: if you keep Frank Cho on the book till its inevitable critically-panned conclusion, i'll keep reading it.

"and we created fake Twitter accounts too!"


"Linda"? "asian"? is it Linda Park??


and after this conversation, you're still a coward.


you think this happens in the 616? maaaaaaaybe.


is it that time of the year? yeah, spring is in the air!

let's see how this plays out - Hela gets a son, but she also secretly empowered and sent the Defenders to grab Thor's hammer. in the end, Thor would be useless to her as her child would now be the Thunder/Death God. but how does Loki figure into this joke again?

alternative ending, Ultimate Avengers #3

"The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

hamburgered Hillary

well, well, we know where Mark Millar's political leanings lie, don't we? after all, he did create the Ultimates.







-----
Ultimate Avengers #3

drive-by readings: Ultimate Avengers #2

Ultimate Avengers #2 (Marvel) "The Next Generation, Part 2 of 6" Mark Millar Carlos Pacheco Danny Miki Dexter Vines Justin Ponsor Cory Petit Laura Martin

the question has probably been posed out there already: is there still anybody who cares about the Ultimate Universe? i'm not sure what the sales numbers are for this title. suffice it to say it does maintain my interest, with the return of original writer Mark Millar, and exciting new work from Carlos Pacheco. looks like Millar isn't done peeling back the layers of his re-imagined Marvel characters - there's always a nasty surprise hidden somewhere. so what if Cap's not as squeaky clean as the original? we loved him kicking the crap out of Hank Pym. and his son is the Red Skull, trained by the US government in a black op facility reminiscent of Weapon X? bring it on. once Cap learns the truth, he goes underground (not without kissing Hawkeye's face with his boot). man, sometimes Millar makes it hard to like these characters though. and who is blond new (elder) Stark? my guess is Robert Downey Jr.

drive-by readings: Ultimate Avengers #1

Ultimate Avengers #1 (Marvel) "The Next Generation, Part 1 of 6" Mark Millar Carlos Pacheco Danny Miki Justin Ponsor Cory Petit Laura Martin Leinil Yu/Jason Keith (variant cover)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Mark Millar's back in the Ultimate line. i confess i haven't read Ultimatum yet from end to end. i'm vaguely aware of Magneto going nuts, a Biblical flood, Wolverine killing Multiple Man, Blob eating the Wasp, and most of the mutants dead as well. now we have the Ultimates - the Avengers - rebuilding their world post-Armageddon. looks like everyone got infected by Hawkeye's suicidal-take-no-prisoners-approach, even Captain America casually tosses bad guys out of a helicopter, or its just a bad day to take on the Avengers. anyhoo, most of it is a flashback with Cap and Hawkeye dealing with A.I.M. and Cap meeting the Red Skull (for the first time) - and the ugly jerk (looking like Crossbones) is ostensibly his son. pretty much Cap goes AWOL after that (more backstory to come) and Nick Fury is brought back to head a special ops team to bring Cap back in.

i've been a fan of Carlos Pacheco (Avengers Forever is a treasured book) and i'm astonished at this new level of amazing interior art - maybe its Danny Miki's inks. suffice it to say: wow.

if anything at all, this is NOT Ultimates 3. and thank God for that.

Bernie Madoff flees from justice!

the game

just in case someone accuses me of not giving back (cough, cough), i went over to the Universe as owned by Jim Hanley, whipped out a shopping list, and took aim. of course, with the 3rd New York Comic Con a couple of weeks away, this trip was no coincidence. you can bet some of these babies will bear a few Hancocks after that weekend. the wife took a couple of Adult Swim t-shirts (you can't say no to Brak).

considering i haven't had a "pull list" in a regular comic book store since 1999, and i haven't bought trade paperbacks (TPBs) from a real comic book store since 2005 (last year's Pride of Baghdad from a Barnes and Noble doesn't count), this one had a "kid in the candy store" feeling. but i had better control of the "kid" because i don't go wild buying everything in sight anymore (never happened but you never know).

TPBs are like the DVD boxed sets of the comic world. although it doesn't come out quite as fast a DVD edition of a blockbuster hit, it certainly would hit the streets much more often than it did in the past decade, especially collected works of hot artists and popular summer crossovers or storylines. i prefer buying the collected edition, because its a pain in the ass to keep going back to the store every month, and am not young not that interested anymore. plus with all the downloading going on ... wait, no i did not say that word.

Ultimates 2: Grand Theft America
Mark Millar/Bryan Hitch/Paul Neary

the eight-page gatefold by artist Bryan Hitch is almost worth the cover price. this TPB came out much faster than it took Hitch to finish issues 11, 12 and 13. although the ending seems forced as Mark Millar just wanted to put everyone in the picture for a nice big epic fight, its the Ultimates as they were designed for.

House of M
Brian Michael Bendis/Olivier Coipel

i used to like the Scarlet Witch a lot before this 2005 crossover, and predictably, after Bendis' gleeful deconstruction, i hated the bitch she became. okay, am just empathizing with poor Hawkeye (killed many times over) and Spiderman (his fake life had him having a son with Gwen Stacy). and can you really blame the mentally challenged? no wait, let's just blame the real culprit, her creepy psycho incestuous brother - yes, you, Pietro. jackass. its not Age of Apocalypse, but has more serious ramifications.

Civil War
Mark Millar/Steve McNiven

presenting the collected controversial 7-issue crossover of 2006-07. even though i read the series (and all the ensuing spinoffs and related issues as they came out), this comes out as TPB-worthy item to stack in my shelf. i'm sure there's a lot of haters out there, but why can't they be as amusing like mighty god king? as a story, its not perfect, but then it makes sense that that day would come. it was definitely a huge pissing contest (with Tony Stark completely going insane with his messiah complex) which only stopped when Cap died. at least by the end of this year, we expect to see one reunited Avengers team.

Death of Captain America
Ed Brubaker/Steve Epting

speaking of Captain America, Steve Rogers has been dead for a year now, and the former Bucky Barnes has taken up the mantle. the tragic event has been panned for being a gimmick, and so far, Rogers has not resurfaced. unless you're telling me that that dead body was a Skrull all along - i don't whether i'd feel happy or feel conned. better not cross that line, Bendis/Quesada.

Infinite Crisis
Geoff Johns/Phil Jimenez

1985's Crisis on Infinite Earths makes my head hurt if i try to wrap my mind around it too much. so imagine if there was an "infinite" crisis - then the headaches would never stop. fortunately Messrs. Johns and Jimenez take it easy on me, and even though the whole storyline is a lot complicated for DC n00bs, you can go back to the little details later and focus on what huge pricks this Superboy Prime and Alexander Luthor are.

Green Lantern: Rebirth
Geoff Johns/Ethan Van Sciver/Prentiss Rollins

i was deciding between this and No Fear, but since the latter was still in hardcover format, i went for the cheaper one, but then it fits because this is where Hal Jordan reclaims his mantle as the greatest Green Lantern in any timeline or universe. if you're unconvinced, here's a comparison: Batman punching Guy Gardner = cool. Hal Jordan punching Batman = waaaaaaaay cooler.

Secret Invasion #1
Brian Michael Bendis/Leinil Francis Yu/Mark Morales

do you know how much this same issue costs with the alternative variant covers? somewhere between $20 to $50. are you kidding me? actually why am i even surprised? its how these superstar creators/artists make money (or do they?). sorry, Leinil. you're way richer than me, so i can only shell out 4 bucks for this. too bad you won't be around to sign it.