continuing our fantasy list of favorite comicbook storyline-turned-movies!
(after another brief hiatus - hey, it was the holidays, dammit!!!)i want the movie industry to make films for us geeks. there are only two conditions - throw money at everything and write it the way the fans want it. some of them may need an origin movie first, but either way, this is a fantasy casting call for my favorite
TPBs.
/
Alex Ross
just like DKR and Watchmen, i don't need to do a complete Wikipedia post on Kingdom Come. this is one of the best stories ever, and it cemented Alex Ross' reputation as a visual storyteller (along with Marvels). as a movie, it may become a little too heavy-handed with the cast of thousands (Waid was mining DC history for all it was worth). a new world has dawned and scions of superheroes have no idea what it means to be one, causing chaos and collateral damage on a daily basis. Superman unretires, and basically lays down the law on everyone, but the ramifications of his actions pushes the world into the brink of Armageddon. we are given a ringside seat courtesy of Reverend Norman McCay, a pastor whose faith is in tatters but plays a key role in preventing a holocaust of Biblical proportions. the story is worth pursuing and with great direction, it should be a grand spectacle on what power and heroism truly means.
this one needs like a bajillion dollars in actors' fees and CGI. bring it, fellas.
casting call:
Reverend Norman McCay - James Cromwell. i dunno, i feel like his turn as a heel in 24 seems a little out of character. we prefer the gentle old farmer in Babe. not that we've seen it (cough, cough).
The Spectre -
Jason Isaacs. don't you see him as a cantankerous Spirit of Vengeance?
Superman - Liev Schreiber. this is where it gets so up-in-the-air. as noted, the Man of Steel is always difficult to cast. i had different people in my other movie casting calls. but for this, i want an actor's actor. Schreiber also has the chin. today, Sabretooth. tomorrow, Superman. makeup should take care of the rest.
Magog - Kiefer Sutherland. its a toss up between him and personal fave Mickey Rourke. they both have their own private demons. but i think Sutherland would have more fun with this character.
Batman -
Clint Eastwood. yes, i took him out of
DKR, because i was saving him for this. honest injun.
Diana/Wonder Woman - inside Mystique is a heroine wanting to come out. she's got the height and the experience. she recently just gave birth, so that might give her some perspective. either way, Rebecca Romijn is our choice to play the warrior foil to the straight-laced Superman (and eventually have "spit-curled demigods" with him).
Red Robin -
Jon Hamm.
Mad Men. what else do you need to know?
Green Lantern -
Dennis Quaid brings class and dignity to the elderly
Alan Scott, the first GL.
The Flash - since he's a virtual blur, we might as well CGI him.
Power Woman - for Kara, we need someone who isn't a young 'un anymore but has the bombshell cred to make the greenest fanboy cream in his pants. we think
Rena Mero a.k.a.
Sable is still available.
Hawkman - Ray Park. we don't see much of his face; we really just need his musclebound figure gracefully kicking ass.
Aqualad/Aquaman II -
Eric Bana.
Aquaman's protege has taken up his mantle and can seemingly survive with the air-breathers.
Aquaman/Arthur Curry - turning his back on the world, he has largely minded his own business, although that's not exactly what Mandy Patinkin did in Criminal Minds.
Lex Luthor - any takers?
Chiklis has dibs on this.
Ibn-Al Xu'ffasch - . Batman's son via Talia al Ghul (in current continuity known as Damian) joins his pop after the lines are drawn. actually, he just stands around doing nothing. Tom Welling, come on down.
Selina Kyle/Catwoman - for those who were born after 1992, sorry you had to live with that misguided Halle Berry vehicle. for your guidance, her name is Michelle Pfeiffer.
Edward Nygma/Riddler -
Kurtwood Smith. most recently seen in the US version of
Worst Week.
Vandal Savage -
Kenneth Branagh. duh.
King (Royal Flush Gang) -
Ian McKellen. just because.
Lord Naga/Kobra -
Clint Howard. ehhh.
Captain Marvel/Billy Batson - the ultimate wild card could be played by a beefed up Billy Zane, who will see this role as penance for Titanic and The Phantom. look - doesn't he look like a prawn-trolling shark?
The Joker - he whined about not being 'cast as' or 'consulted about' the character in The Dark Knight. well, let's bring ol' Jack back here (only to be shot by Magog in a flashback scene).
Deadman - since we are seeing basically skull and bones in a costume, Boston Brand is best served/motion captured by Andy Serkis. Serkis can also pitch in with the Flash parts.
John Jones/Martian Manhunter - once a rival of
Superman in sheer natural abilities, Jonn is now a shell of his former self. sounds like
Bill Paxton to us (just kidding,
Mr. Polygamy).
Green Arrow - Pierce Brosnan. we'd like to shave that head and just let him play the lecherous playboy archer.
Ted Kord/Blue Beetle -
William Hurt looks like my college professor who bored me 5 minutes into his lecture. but he's bril.
Dinah Lance/Black Canary -
Renee Russo called us. we couldn't say no.
Orion - once the short-tempered son of Darkseid, he has now become his father, but a lot wiser. the sage Qui Gon Jinn would make a good Orion. ain't that right, Mr. Neeson?
Mr. Miracle/Scott Free - i hope you don't mind, i hope you don't mind, that we cast
Ewan here.
Sandman/Wesley Dodds - this would be a short scene but it would be memorable - the Golden Age
Sandman telling the Reverend McCay of his premonitions.
Bill Nighy had spent so much time in that
Davy Jones costume he got pneumonia.
Captain Atom - the technical cause of the obliteration of Kansas.
"Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to the war, and my fingers to fight. My goodness and my fortress, my high tower and my Deliverer. My shield, and he in whom I trust ... fuck, i have been split open!!!! aiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"
Von Bach - for this super Yugo, let's bring back Nathan Jones from whatever strongman contests he's working on right now.
666 - before Oscar awards and Halle Berry kisses, Adrien Brody played a "sensitive and tender" punk in Summer of Sam. let's take out the gay parts and amp up "aggressive punk".
Americommando - who else better to play an armored racist redneck than
Gary Busey?
the
Joker's Daughter -
Robin Tunney, anyone?
Thunder - can everyone hate
Tyler Williams? not here.
UN SecGen Wyrmwood - listen, he needs all the good publicity he can get. what better mileage than starring in a hit movie? i tells ya,
Eliot Spitzer would approve! this is
better than writing for Slate eh?
geek goosebump moments:Superman returns!!! everyone stops in their tracks.
Superman faces Magog once again. no running this time.
hear the fanboys gasp, just like in 1996, when they realize Luthor's major domo is none other than Shazam! (well, we used to call him Shazam, dammit)
Shazam versus Superman - for all the marbles. wooooohoooooo!!! no more bathroom breaks!!!
the World's Greatest Detective is (still) the World's Greatest Detective.
recently, in the pages of JSA, an event takes place where Superman, right in the middle of final nuke explosion, is transported to the current timeline to deal with an iteration of Gog, before being returned by Starman to his proper timeline. good stuff. even years later, Kingdom Come is still an event to be mined.
and for the number one movie on my list .... (see you in x number of days)
