Showing posts with label The List. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The List. Show all posts

Saturday, October 31, 2009

chopped

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Punisher one shot (Marvel)
"A Good Lie"
Rick Remender
John Romita Jr
Klaus Janson
Dean White
Joe Caramagna
just when we thought Norman Osborn couldn't make good with anything with his list, he comes roaring back with a big win. yes, i know, the Internet is abuzz with this issue, and for good measure.

after failing to get the Punisher (yeah, its the insistent itch in your ass that gets you) via The Hood, Osborn takes command to hunt Frank down with all the might of H.A.M.M.E.R. behind him, and taking along Daken for good measure. we know among all the Marvel heroes, the Punisher was the most vulnerable, as he really doesn't have any powers. he's not Batman-class, but he's been smart enough to survive all these years. he even offed the whole Marvel Universe, if certain tomes are to be believed.

and for all his bravado and smarts, eventually the Reaper comes to collect and Frank has to pay. i guess i wasn't expecting it - or maybe i wasn't just reading the advance buzz. that's ok, i like it that way. surprise me, comics. once in a while.

and though i can find faults in the great JRJr's work, roping him and Janson in for this piece was genius. i thought i was reading a Kick-Ass issue! you know, with all that blood and gore. i've also been slowly taking into Rick Remender's work - not sure if he feels like Howard Chaykin at times but with more immediacy. and no, am not dissing Chaykin.

so where do we go from here? apparently, the next story arc involves something with the words "Franken-Castle". Halloween gimmick or no? by the way, how does the Man Thing (one of Marvel's best horror characters) get involved in this when he was divided in two by Ares recently? in what issue did he "volt back in"?

it's a time-honored tradition to break down heroes before building them up again. over the past few years, we've seen this happen to Captain America, Thor, Hawkeye (though just don't ask me how he got resurrected. just ... don't.), Scarlet Witch (no, don't ask me about her either), Iron Man (ongoing) and now Frank Castle, our beloved ass-kicking street vigilante playing way above his league. i just hope it doesn't turn out like last time, when he got deployed to fight demons. hoooooo boy.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

two leaps forward, one leap back

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Hulk one shot (Marvel)
Greg Pak
Ben Oliver
Veronica Gandini
Simon Bowland
now we get to Norman Osborn's "neutralize Bruce Banner" item on his list. how does he fare this time? oooohhh looks like he won, kiddies. he thinks he's taking Banner off the board by (eventually) reverting him back to Hulk, and get whacked by his own son, Skaar. but the price of that may be unleashing the Hulk again, not just on the world, but on Osborn himself (that is, if Clint Barton doesn't get Osborn first. oh wait - that never happened).

Bruce walking around with Skaar kinda reminds me of the Banner/Hulk representation in Earth X (or the current Hercules/Amadeus Cho team up). and he's walking around with personal force fields, uber-hacker class PDAs, pocket teleporters, and "Bannertech nanoparticulates" (since when did he have his own brand?). even Nick Fury wasn't this hooked up! a year ago he was wrecking NYC, and now he's like Bill Gates crossed with Wil Wheaton with a weapon of mass destruction.

also to reference other books, in Hulk #602-603, Bruce hangs out with Skaar in the hopes of getting him straightened out, and at the same time get him some combat practice (like he needs it!). so when Skaar pops the Juggernaut into space, this necessitates a visit by the ol' Canucklehead, whom Skaar promptly slaps around. Bruce sets up a meeting with Daken and both sides get bruised and battered in the process and nothing seems to have been fixed on either side (both sons still want to kill their fathers at some point - such adorable children!). then in Wolverine Origins #41, Banner (working as night watchman - hah!!) crosses paths with Wolverine (again) in his quest to one-up Romulus. and it seems like Skaar doesn't even remember a single thing about Wolverine. somebody get their stories straight, as these books were all released right about the same time.

and now Victoria Hand is becoming a combat specialist too? what in the world?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Fury's 11

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Secret Warriors one shot (Marvel)
"Leviathan"
Jonathan Hickman
Ed McGuinness
Chris Sotomayor
Dave Lanphear
Tom Palmer
McGuinness/Dexter Vines/John Rauch (cover)
should we still call them "Secret Warriors"? Nick Fury practically operates in the open these days (to the chagrin of Contessa LaFontaine), and he has two teams already at his disposal - his Warriors, and the reborn/reconstructed Howling Commandos. all he needs is a YouTube channel and a Twitter page.

so breaking in Avengers tower (with some help from Ares - what, is he another Fury plant, that kind of trick that beats us over our head with "hey-am-20-steps-ahead-of-everyone-else"? NO. we have to read Secret Warriors #9 on sale 10/28/2009. whooopeee.) and appearing in your current enemy's bedroom (creepy - why can't he just call? what if Norman had a date?), smacks of not-so-secret for me. and for what? to steal something under H.A.M.M.E.R.'s nose. that really paints that target on you, Nicky Boy.

and that something actually tells us that ... oh hey, is the Zodiac in this gig? and Nick is Gemini? oh yeah, he was, years back. 'cause his dead brother Jake was Scorpio. or is. i smell resurrection!!!!

by the way, Norman, a couple of things:

everyone seems to be penetrating the Tower these days ... change the goddamn locks. or go live on the moon.

let me just present your fandangled "list":
- neutralize Clint Barton
- eliminate Daredevil
- kill Namor
- kill Frank Castle
- kill Nick Fury
- neutralize Bruce Banner
- control the world
- kill Spider-Man

that's just 1 out of 8 so far (Barton, you hotheaded punk, you never change). Frank's probably smug he's on the list. i don't see Tony Stark in there. he's probably dead. or dumb as a rock.

only Santa has a list that works.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

winged-footers ex-wives

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: X-Men #1 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction
Alan Davis
Mark Farmer
Nathan Fairbairn
Joe Caramagna
so is ol' cranky Subby an X-Man now? how the mighty have fallen. and to add insult to injury, ex-girlfriend Marrina (who's already an ugly fish-worm thing literally) is remodified and enhanced by no less than Norman Osborn himself to piss off his Royal Highness. and when i say enhanced, i don't mean no Nip/Tuck stuff here.

fans, remind me or educate me again:
- even with the influx of mutants or non-mutants to Utopia, how is it that they can have fresh veggies, fruits and farmers' markets?
- weren't Namor's people in Latveria? what did i miss?
- was Namor wearing that X-logo belt or did he slip it on while his back was turned to Emma?
- aren't you all happy there are no more dead X-Men? Magik is back, Psylocke is back, even Necrosha says all of Genosha will come back ... oh, wait, Jean Grey is still dead.
- isn't it a bit creepy to have Psylocke (possessing Bobby) to be saying (in tandem with him) "i can't hold it ... it's too big ..." (you sneaky Matt Fraction, you)
- do you like Osborn's long-haired fashion model personal assistant? of course, i am referring to Robert Reynolds, a.k.a. the Sentry.

so the score is, Osborn 2, people on The List, 1.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

in one ear, out the other

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Daredevil one shot (Marvel)
Andy Diggle
Billy Tan
Matt Banning
Justin Ponsor
Joe Caramagna
like we need another excuse for a DD/Bullseye mano-a-mano. i like better when DD pwned Bullseye back during the Bendis run. here its just ... Osborn wants to send DD and the Hand a message, so he sics Bullseye (in real costume) on him, people die because Lester the Molester likes it like that, and ol' Hornhead decides to send him and Osborn ... a message. end scene.

what was the message? and how come no one listens?

rumor has it that EEEK Joe Quesada nixed a sequel to this called Dark Reign - The Message: Daredevil.

is Lady Bullseye still working covertly for Yoda/Pat Morita Master Izo, as she does Kingpin's bidding? and why the sudden turnaround, Wilson? oh, ok, life in DD Land is not complete without the Kingpin scheming somewhere, somehow.

i'm much more looking forward to the regular series where we'll have Matt as full-time Hand CEO and how his superhero pals will deal with this new development. add to that Matt being angry about 107 dead people and you know its on his shoulders. despite what Izo keeps drumming into his head (that man knows how to paaaar-taaaaayyy!).

one thing to note is now all Hand ninjas sport horns as per new regulations. imagine if Warren Worthington became the uber-boss (wings). or Tony Stark (helmets). or Rocket Raccoon (tails).

Monday, August 3, 2009

more reasons to hate Norman Osborn

(and why the hell was he resurrected)

for Marvel: K-Ching!
for fans: to annoy them
for writers: to tell new stories

the world according to Bendis