prom here to eternity

Avengers Academy #13, where we have the Red Skull dancing with another long-lost daughter!

kidding aside, this is a sweet issue, as the new Avenger kids have their first prom, and chaperoned by Hank Pym and Tigra. how time flies! wasn't it just long ago that Hank was boinking Tigra? wait, that was Skrull-Hank. i mean, wasn't it long ago that young Tigra was hanging out in the WCA? actually that had no bearing whatsoever. other comments:

• Speedball. DJ. "Take My Breath Away". awesome. (double awesome for Young MC. i hope it was "Bust A Move".)
• the gym where the prom was held was probably a self-repairing one, because with at least three altercations occurring during the dance, the punch bowl seems to refill itself.
• this is the only time Mettle (why did they design him to look like Johann Schmidt? why??) can boast of breaking Iron Man.
• Justice - Firestar = me sad. me love Kurt Busiek Avengers run.
• in a team, there should be a maximum of ONE character with "BALL" in his codename. Hardball and Speedball, duke it out in the corner. 
• there should be more interaction between Marvel characters ("Marvel Team Up", anyone?). example, Striker and Hellion could meet up and out-jackass each other.
• did they design adult Reptil to look like Humberto Ramos? because uh, his name is Humberto? (i love me some Humberto Ramos!)
• Katy Perry+prom = "Firework". what, no "Peacock"?? aw, c'mon!
• finally, Real Hank + Tigra = sexytimes.
• apropos to above, Jocasta may have something to say about that. and that word may be "Ultron".

story A-
art B+

playing raft

drive-by readings

Thunderbolts #147 (Marvel) "Scared Straight" Jeff Parker Kev Walker Frank Martin Albert Deschesne Marko Djurdjevic (cover)

what we learned: well, well, well, i was wondering when's the first jailbreak attempt going to happen, and Parker didn't waste time. coinciding with the visit of those crazy kids from Avengers Academy, power goes down in the Raft and every jailed loco wants to take advantage. but unlike the event that spawned the New Avengers, this one has the good guys firmly in control. even "Warden Cripple" proves he's not useless when getting a few licks in.
oh shit moment: more like awesome: Luke Cage goes back and gives the Purple Man one more reminder why he should just sit in his cell like a little girl and not mess with the man called Cage.
what's next: did something happen to Crossbones? what's with Juggy's sudden sense of warped justice? and when's Fixer's gonna be outed?

well, somebody's been playing Doom since 1993.

scaredy cats

drive-by readings

Avengers Academy #3 (Marvel) "Scared Straight Part 1: Boyfriend In A Coma" Christos N. Gage Mike McKone Andrew Hennessy Jeromy Cox Joe Caramagna

what we learned: story title notwithstanding (somebody still likes Morrissey), it only pertains to a few pages, where like Rogue put first love Cody in a coma, rich princess Hazmat (Jenny) puts boyfriend Greg in a hazardous chemical situation, which brings us to today where she wants her can't-touch-anyone situation rectified, even if it means killing Norman Osborn to get the answer. good thing, they're visiting The Raft. which is fun, because all the current Thunderbolts are currently displaying positive reinforcement attitude for impressionable kids.
oh shit moment: as much you may be shocked to know that Speedball (nee Penance, nee Speedball) is still cutting himself, my preferred moment is just when Valkyrie's about to reveal to the girl students what sort of device mortal craftsmen have made for satisfaction of the female urges without turning to a male, Tigra (yeah, the poster child for healthy sexual behavior) cuts into our fun. boooooooooo!
what's next: go get Thunderbolts #147 for another POV of what really happened here. and did they get the truth out of Osborn?

good thing Danny's rich, 'cause this could be an expensive sexual harassment case. oh, wait ...

the weekly hits

The Thanos Imperative #2 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Miguel Sepulveda/Jay David Ramos/Joe Caramagna (cover: Aleksi Briclot)
what we learned: this whole Cancerverse War became officially big time with the addition of Galactus and the Celestials. however, for some reason, Ben Urich is not covering this conflict. boooooo!!!
oh shit moment: Guardians kicking some faux Defender butt, and Thanos permanently ending the faux Defender butt.
what's next: why are Major Victory and Namorita anomalies? were they secretly resurrected with a White Lantern? will Thanos gain the upperhand after all is said and done? and will Urich make it to the front lines before this series ends??

the Thanos Halogen Headlight Upgrade Imperative

Tom Strong & The Robots of Doom #2 (ABC)
Peter Hogan/Chris Sprouse/Karl Story/Todd Klein/Darlene Royer
what we learned: mostly the backstory of how his Nazi son Albrecht brought about the Fascist world victory, and where the Dero really came from. looks like the situation is bleak. but wait! somehow Tom's faithful robot butler overrode his reprogramming and sends him back in time to fetch his younger self and play as the Tom/Tom Club! (yeeeessh, did you pay Chris Franz and Tina Weymouth their royalties?)
oh shit moment: the Dero apparently wiped out the African population. they must've been programmed by white people.
what's next: Tom/Tom Club playing at a venue near you this summer!

hello, Pneuman!

Justice League: Generation Lost #5 (DC)
Judd Winick/Keith Giffen/Aaron Lopresti/Matt Ryan/Hi-Fi/Steve Wands (cover: Tony Harris/JD Mettler, variant: Kevin Maguire/Hi-Fi)
what we learned: Max Lord really wants to reform the Justice League International. and the new Rocket Red is a gas. somehow a sombre Booster Gold is not the overinflated jerk i remember.
oh shit moment: not much, unless you count Max comparing himself to God. ya believe this guy?
what's next: is there a foreshadowing here that Blue Beetle is going to die, and Ted Kord is going to be resurrected? nah, that's just fanboy rumor-mongering.

because the world needs more Giffen/DeMatteis/Maguire JLI madness and mirth, that's why!

X-Force: Sex & Violence #1 (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/Gabrielle Dell'Otto/Cory Petit
what we learned: apparently, Kyle and Yost wanted to explore more of Neena and Logan's relationship (wait, didn't he have a girlfriend or that one died too?) since that X-Men 2001 Annual and that spiffy X-Force cover (whoa, Mike Choi!). and it might not pass editiorial muster, if it just said "Logan/Domino: Sex". because as we know, Americans are horrified by sex in mass media, but violence? bring it on!!! so, here we have Domino on the run from the Assassins Guild, because as a mercenary with scruples, you get dragged into the wrong crowd who hired you, then turn the tables on them.
oh shit moment: art's a bit murky but that's a great visual complement to the clanging sounds you hear in your head seeing Domino pulling bullets out of herself.
what's next: more sex! more violence!

yeah, Josh ... talk to the effing Hand!

Iron Man #28 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Salvador Larroca/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna
who got chumped by Hammer? Tony Stark! who doesn't remember his one-night stands? Tony Stark! who's gonna build an non-gas powered car in six weeks? Tony Stark!!

Avengers Academy #2 (Marvel)
Christos N. Gage/Mike McKone/Jeromy Cox/Joe Caramagna
what we learned: so the next generation of Avengers could potentially be the next gen of bad guys? of course! but the drama between the students don't compare to the crap that goes on with the teachers. i mean you got noted wife-slapper-cum-Skrull/robot-banging-Scientist-Supreme Hank Pym as headmaster, what else is gonna happen? well, they're at least updated somewhat with pop music. or whatever passes for that these days.
oh shit moment: borrowing a trick from Josh Whedon's Astonishing X-Men, the new class is subjected to an impromptu survival session. just when Finesse and Reptil were about to kiss. dammit, man!
what's next: not only does Pietro get away with his shit, he's likely going to pass on his life lessons to a volunteer. wonderful!

oh-oh-oh! oh-oh-oh-oh!!

Batgirl #12 (DC)
Bryan Q. Miller/Lee Garbett/Pere Perez/Walden Wong/Guy Major/John J. Hill (cover: ArtGerm)
what we learned: Batgirl aces her final exams, rescues her mentor, and turns a friend away from the dark side. even if they cancel this book, she's too good a character to be killed off. you hear that, DC Editorial??
oh shit moment: can i say its that awesome cover by ArtGerm? i never looked at Stephanie Brown this way before. and at the same time, she's slapping me upside the head for looking this way.
what's next: Oracle has a Proxy, and a capable successor.

i think she's describing how she's going to be expelled from school because one too many missed homework.

Batman #701 (DC)
Grant Morrison/Tony Daniel/Ian Hannin/Jared K. Fletcher
what we learned: what really happened between Batman R.I.P. and the ending of Final Crisis? the God of Comics finally deigns us dust bunnies worthy of knowing. but then again the first of a two-parter doesn't provide much except there's a definite connection between the Hidden Room in the Wayne Manor and whatever Dick Grayson unearthed in the past issues of Batman & Robin regarding the Wayne family line. also, who knew Bruce liked mulligatawny soup?
oh shit moment: deleting pictures of our exes just like everyone else. though i assume there's a backup somewhere. hwahahahaa!
what's next: was it really Thomas Wayne who engineered sending Bruce back through time? man, Morrison not only thinks one step ahead, he thinks one thousand steps ahead.

"and you beat it out of the Soup Nazi just like i like? awesooooome!!!!"

Vengeance of the Moon Knight #10 (Marvel)
Gregg Hurwitz/Juan Jose Ryp/Andres Mossa/Joe Caramagna (cover: Francesco Mattina)
look who's playing well with others. but you know, Steve, you still better keep a close eye on this Moon Knight character.

Hack/Slash: My First Maniac #1 (Image)
Tim Seeley/Daniel Leister/Mark Englebert/Crank! (covers: Seeley/Nei Ruffino/Erik Jones)
what we learned: additional backstory for stabby heroine Cassie Hack, whose long-awaited film debut is still long-awaited. here she's trying to fit into a high school but tracking a long-dead farmer who kills kids that won't git off his farm.
oh shit moment: slasher stories/movies practically write themselves, but you gotta surprise the viewer. this one involves barbed wire.
what's next: this is pre-Vlad, so it'll Cassie doing her lone wolf thing. am sure her newfound 'friends' will end up dead by the end of this.

huhhh-huhhh ... he said 'bone'. huhhh-huhh.

Daredevil #508 (Marvel)
Andy Diggle/Antony Johnston/Roberto De La Torre/Matt Hollingsworth/Joe Caramagna (cover: John Cassaday/Laura Martin)
what we learned: the White Tiger is slowly pushing "Lord" Daredevil into doing the bidding of the Snakeroot, and at the same time, endangering his former friends. also, i'm in the minority here, and i love John Cassaday, but i don't think he fits into doing Shadowland covers. grim and gritty is not just his style.
oh shit moment: the real moment was in Shadownland #1 with the apparent death of Bullseye. here we get the requisite Elektra appearance. who's next, Stick? by the way, where is Bullseye's body? the Hand always resurrects a potential asset.
what's next: Ben Affleck vs. Jennifer Garner!

it means, your movie sucked! you need a reboot!!

Superman #701 (DC)
J. Michael Straczynski/Eddy Barrows/JP Mayer/Rod Reis/John J. Hill (covers: John Cassaday/David Baron/Alex Sinclair)
Superman walks across America and goes to toe to toe with ... Joe Q. Public. its an interesting premise, right on the heels of the Kryptonian War and Superman questioning his role again in his adopted planet. the fact that he even deigns to do so, earns him a lot more of Lex Luthor hate points.


note: because of Blogger's technically-limited tag constraints, there's a bunch of other books that's going to show up in other posts. actually, maybe i should start making individual posts for the Weekly Hits. which means, this is going to be last time i'm putting everything in a basket. thanks, Blogger.

things i liked this week

Batman #700 (DC)
Grant Morrison/Tony Daniel/Frank Quitely/Ian Hannin/Scott Kolins/Alex Sinclair/Tony Aviña/Andy Kubert/Brad Anderson/David Finch/Richard Friend/Peter Steigerwald/Jared K. Fletcher (covers: Finch/Mike Mignola)
now that's an anniversary: a mystery across the past, present and future handled by the various Batmen. Terry McGinnis is getting a lot of face time lately.

Secret Six #22 (DC)
Gail Simone/Jim Calafiore/Jason Wright/Travis Lanham (cover: Daniel Luvisi)
Catman undergoes the Batman experience, but his revenge is much more immediate than Bruce's.

Avengers Academy #1 (Marvel)
Christos N. Gage/Mike McKone/Jeromy Cox/Clayton Cowles
what we learned: young Avengers for the new decade! but are they going to survive the experience? even further, were they put together because they more likely to cross over to the dark side? and along with that ... welcome back, Speedball!
holy shit moment: considering this is a educational institution of sorts, does Tigra really have to be dressed in a bikini all the time? really?? SHE'S A LAW-ENFORCEMENT OFFICER. not that i'm complaining .... i'm just concerned about the kids!!
what's next: riot! riot! riot!!!

a girl and two C-Creep-ios

Uncanny X-Men #525 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Terry Dodson/Rachel Dodson/Justin Ponsor/Joe Caramagna (cover: Adi Granov, variant by David Finch/Matt Banning/Peter Steigerwald)
what we learned: X-Force is sent to the future that may be the Days of Future Past storyline, and it looks like all the high end Sentinels have been shipped off to the past to kill Utopia. this means they can probably easily correct the problem. also, Thing's new boss is Bucky Barnes. huh.
holy shit moment: what is Hope's relationship to Cyclops? also, Namor looking well-adjusted. where was he in the past X-crossovers??
what's next: will Legion be of any help? yes, that Legion who's responsible of Age of Apocalypse.


Daytripper #7 (DC/Vertigo)
Fabio Moon/Gabriel Bá/Dave Stewart/Sean Konot
what we learned: Brás de Oliva Domingos, successful writer, takes friendship to its extreme limits by looking for his long-lost friend Jorge, and paying the price.
holy shit moment: is the same Brás de Oliva Domingos who died in a car crash last issue because he wanted to see said friend? former DC editor Bob Schreck wasn't kidding about this trip.
what's next: Daytripper should adorn your comicbook shelf, especially the trade edition.


Nemesis #1 (Marvel)
Mark Millar/Steve McNiven/Dave McCaig/Chris Eliopoulos (variant cover: John Cassaday/Laura Martin)
what we learned: Nemesis is the rich scion of perverted bastards and has been targeting DC Police Chief Blake Morrow for the demise of his family. basically, he's the evil Batman, down to the Batcave, the serious bank, and preparedness.
holy shit moment: killing 20,000 peeps in the Pentagon via gas - a real life terrorist's wet dream.
what's next: i don't think he's kidding when he says he planned for his own arrest.


Punisher MAX #8 (Marvel)
Jason Aaron/Steve Dillon/Matt Hollingsworth/Cory Petit (cover: Dave Johnson)
what we learned: Jason Aaron ups the Bullseye psycho level and Frank gets desperate in trying to find Kingpin's new assassin.
holy shit moment: take your pick: Vanessa shooting the Kingpin during sex, Bullseye re-enacting the Castle massacre with hostages, and Frank finally putting down a cop (is this a retcon?).
what's next: waiting for Punisher vs Bullseye, Round 2.


Rawhide Kid: The Sensational Seven #1 (Marvel)
Ron Zimmerman/Howard Chaykin/Edgar Delgado/Jeff Eckleberry (cover: John Cassaday)
Rawhide Kid continues to upend the Wild West. as much as i like Chaykin's art in measured doses like this, i wonder if Amanda Conner or Steve Dillon could take a crack (heh.) at this.

S.H.I.E.L.D. #2 (Marvel)
Jonathan Hickman/Dustin Weaver/Christina Strain/Todd Klein
what we learned: Leonardo Da Vinci has a bone to pick with humanity's self-appointed defenders.
holy shit moment: Howard Stark and Nate Richards doing the Men in Black thing, fighting off the Night Machine
what's next: curious and curiouser - what's Leonid's role in all of these, as the 'Source of the Machine'? the Riddler's riddles are much easier.

what, you haven't seen a talking pigeon before? do you know Big Bird?

heroic snaps!

this week, we get sneak peeks on various books (characters) that would litter the Heroic Age, and we give them grades based on these shorts. all subjective, of course. that would be the indication of personal interest, of course.

"Admissions"
Christos N. Gage/Mike McKone/Jeromy Cox/Joe Caramagna

the first Avenger-in-training makes his appearance and he has the power of the Jurassic Park trilogy! Reptil, experimented on by H.A.M.M.E.R. (man, i hate paying taxes!!), is broken out by Avengers not asked to be on Avengers or Secret Avengers or New Avengers. hey, does this mean Hank and Tigra are gonna be an item? y'know, on account of Tigra having a baby Hank? what -? that was a Skrull?! when did that happen?? (B+)

25 mph? you're slower than molasses, kid.

"Heroes for the Ages"
Jeff Parker/Gabriel Hardman/Giancarlo Caracuzzo/Elizabeth Breitweiser/Ed Dukeshire

ok, i already said i just grabbed on the bumper of the bandwagon. geez. i just wonder what's wrong with this world that there's always something bad happening somewhere. even sunny Hawaii. (B)

i keep referring to him as Jimmy Choo.

"Coppélia"
Kelly Sue DeConnick/Jamie McKelvie/Matt Wilson/Nate Piekos

i don't think i need this to convince to follow the Black Widow's adventures, especially if drawn by Daniel Acuña. Natasha takes a break from Avenging (avenging who, really?) and goes back to the spy biz from time to time. and just in case nobody bothered to check Wikipedia, the title of the ballet directly correlates to the tiny dancer/weapon she breaks out here. (B-)

you hit like a girl! uh ... wait ...

"Big Trouble in Little Chinatown"
Jim McCann/David Lopez/Alvaro Lopez/Nathan Fairbairn/Cory Petit

my thanks to Jim McCann for opting for the freelance gig to at least continue scripting Hawkeye and Mockingbird. pretty much in Dark Reign, Clint Barton was all bluster and no muster. maybe this time he'll be doing something useful. and who is Bobbi talking to, you think? my bet is her old boss, Nick Fury. (A-)

how about porn? or two people, one cup?

"Top Dog"
Jeff Parker/Kevin Walker/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne

now that's a sneak peek! Parker lays some more groundwork which makes sense (ex-T-Bolts Fixer and Mach 5 redoing security, Osborn being frog-marched among inmates) and positions Cage (albeit in a telegraphed move) to draw the line and yet make his pitch. for reform. there's a new sheriff in town. (A)

"Thumb On The Pulse"
Kurt Busiek/Marko Djurdjevic/Jelena Djurdjevic/Dave Lanphear

is this Busiek's first Marvel work in years? can't remember. but its a familiar refreshing method, this time a take on Hitler-moustache-rocking, all-around-blowhard JJJ who for some reason is still mayor of NYC (Mitchell Hundred and Bloomy would laugh), and how he reacts to the Heroic Age. though it ends differently than you expected, well no, not really. (A)

a message in three panels - a fine collaboration between Busiek and Marko the Awesomeness

"A Date with The Doctor"
Rick Remender/Chris Samnee/Matthew Wilson/Dave Lanphear

while we won't be seeing a regular Doctor Strange, er ... Sorcerer Supreme book anytime soon, and maybe its better that way. is there a market for magic books? sure there is. but in this economy, this should work like Hellboy - a series here and there, but still building continuity. Dr. Voodoo can also make regular appearances all over the place, especially if writers handle him well like Remender. by the way, what did Steve Rogers ask Stephen Strange? and how come he didn't ask Dr. Voodoo? (B+)

uh, what did i miss? where's Monica?

"Diplomatic Incident"
Paul Cornell/Leonard Kirk/Paul Mounts/Dave Lanphear

this just reminded me why i miss the Cornell/Kirk duo on a Captain Britain/MI:13 book. oh wait, there could still be one in the future, right? and on that note, who else hasn't been offered Avengers membership? me, apparently! (B+)

that means Brian's not gonna sleep because it'll be 9 GMT to 5 PST job!

"N.Y. State of Mind"
Dan Slott/Ty Templeton/Jorge Maese/Dave Lanphear

and of course, Spider-Man, despite being a member of the Avengers and practically just a goddamned real frikkin' hero many times over, still gets shit from New Yorkers. ease up once in a while, fellas!! (B-)

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Enter the Heroic Age, Age of Heroes #1

heckling from the peanut gallery, part 3

the call to assemble has gone out again, and we the people, the huddled masses of collateral damage from the disassembling, house of m-ing, civil warring, planet hulking, secret invading, and dark reigning, exercise our right to yell our opinion from the streets, as is our democratic right. first, we first gave the regular Avengers a piece of our minds, then it was the New Avengers' turn. now, step up, kids from Avengers Academy, and let's take a gander at ya.



"aren't you that weird Paper Doll chick that fought Spider-Man?"
"how long are you gonna live? will you make it till graduation?"
"say, can you wrap these gifts for me? i'd appreciate it, thanks!"



"think yer pretty clever, aintcha?"
"i think you should meet Santo from those new X-kids in Utopia. he's just like you."
"say, can you provide the lighting for my gig/dance party this weekend? thanks!"



"is Komodo from the Initiative your sister? how about the Lizard? Killer Croc?"
"those claws sure would annoy the heck out of people when used against a blackboard."
"but might the future hurt you?"
"how do you eat at a Chinese restaurant?"



"oh yeah? so you can pee standing up better than me?"
"you sure you're not that Jackpot chick?"
"hey, did Mockingbird give you those battle staves?"



"gaaaaahhhh!! its the Red Skull! run!!!"
"respect? can you settle for fear? 'cause you're scary, mister."
"why Fortress? because no one can get inside you? how about air?"



"aren't you supposed to be the one who's not gonna live long?"
"yeah i mean, did you watch The Hurt Locker? well, its not nuke or chemical materials but hey, you get the idea ..."
"wow, a positive reactive power - that's cool. i guess you'll be sitting around most of the time."

what's the odds that these kids will be collateral damage and die within a year or two? and will Kang be their first test? what happens to the Young Avengers?

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images from Marvel.com