gotham gumshoe

drive-by readings

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #5 (DC) "Masquerade" Grant Morrison Ryan Sook Mick Gray Pere Perez Jose Villarubia Jared Fletcher Travis Lanham Andy Kubert/Ryan Sook (covers)

what we learned: Bruce reappears in late 1920s Gotham as an amnesiac and is hired to play a detective in a movie, or actually investigate the death of his own mother. turns out the lady who hired him is probably his real mother and its all a ploy to sacrifice the 'man-bat' (oh hey there you are again, Dr Hurt or should i say Thomas Wayne).elsewhere/when, Red Robin prepares the JLA for Batman's arrival, which should blow them all out of existence.
oh shit moment: what's really up with the Waynes?
what's next: Batman 1000000 (or something) is back!

you know he's gonna say that at some point.

loopy

drive-by readings

Secret Six #25 (DC) "The Reptile Brain, Part One: Blood Calls to Blood" Gail Simone Jim Calafiore Jason Wright Travis Lanham Daniel Luvisi (cover)

what we learned: i don't think i did. after last issue's weird Wild West story - where they all die! - this time the split teams go their separate ways, one doing mercenary work and hired to conquer a land beyond time, while the other - with the grieving angry Catman forced back into the fold - is offered a deal to do the opposite.
oh shit moment: i'm not really a big fan of no-explanation exposition. so i go "oh shit" when am lost.
what's next: Secret Six vs Secret Six! i think this is some kind of a video game.


this is why wild animals jump their cages.

bullet day, i will giant you

drive-by readings

Batman #702 (DC) "Part Two: Batman's Last Case" Grant Morrison Tony Daniel Ian Hannin Travis Lanham

what we learned: the missing details of how Batman disappeared over Final Crisis/Batman R.I.P. and got stranded in time. the smartest man in the universe figures it all out as he gets Omega Sanction-ed. Darkseid makes it the trap for the ages and something you can't get out of, but Bats inadvertently creates a hole in it by killing Darkseid with his magic bullet.
oh shit moment: Scott Free, i think you should give up your title as the Universe's best escape artist.
what's next: do you know what my next cologne is? its Essence of Bullet.


Batman lost braincells on his trip backwards in time, he couldn't even spell his name.

hush puppies

drive-by readings

Batman Beyond #3 (DC) "Hush Beyond Part 3: Close Encounters" Adam Beechen Ryan Benjamin John Stanisci David Baron Travis Lanham Dustin Nguyen (cover)

what we learned: Terry gets his first up close encounter with his timeline's version of Hush, and it results in the death of the Calendar Man. old Bruce is none too pleased, and readies his Bat Robots (he-hey, Kingdom Come!) just in case Terry can't do the job.
oh shit moment: not only is the Catwoman working with Hush, she also gets stabbed in the back too (or choked from the back, whatever).
what's next: Terry keeps barking up the wrong tree, and will that be too late?


nahh, you can still come back from the dead, just like the old coot.

breaking balls

drive-by readings

Justice League: Generation Lost #7 (DC) "Of Course, They Got Caught" Judd Winick Joe Bennett Jack Jadson Travis Lanham Hi-Fi Cliff Chiang (cover) Ryan Sook/Joel Gomez/Fernando Pasarin/Randy Mayor/Carrie Strachan (variant cover)

what we learned: our JLWRML (Justice Leaguers Who Remember Max Lord) break into Checkmate just to find out where Max is. of course, this is Checkmate we're talking about it here - the most hardcore spy agency in the DCU. and what happens is ... wait for it ... wait for it ... of course, they get caught!!
oh shit moment: i think i missed Magog #12. what the hell happened in there? is he gonna be an asshole just like in Kingdom Come?
what's next: it's clobbering you time!


the most likable Russian since Ivan Drago. oh, wait, no, i meant Nikolai Luzhin.

atomic peek

drive-by readings

Justice League: Generation Lost #6 (DC) "Splitting the Atom" Judd Winick Keith Giffen Fernando Dagnino Raul Fernandez Hi-Fi Travis Lanham Cliff Chiang (cover) Kevin Maguire/Hi-Fi (variant cover)

what we learned: Captain Atom, who exists for solely nothing except to absorb nuclear explosions in the DCU, takes a positive thing out of his latest absorption exercise as he is transported into the future where Max Lord wins. so yeah, more reason to stop their former boss once and for all.
oh shit moment: the only metahuman survivor of that future is a shriveled up prune formerly known as Power Girl.
what's next: yikes .... bring me back the Amanda Conner days! damn you, Maxwell Lord!



better make a time capsule, boys ... you don't want your PG looking like the one on the right.



and then there was that awkward time between Karen and Nate ...

a woman's worth

drive-by readings

Wonder Woman #601 (DC) "Past Imperfect, Present Tense" J. Michael Straczynski Don Kramer Michael Babinski Alex Sinclair Travis Lanham Alex Garner (variant cover)

what we learned: we get the backstory of why there are no more Amazons - man wiped them out! how original. anyhoo, apparently, there's still some survivors hiding out in Turkey, and Diana, who now can't fly, has to hitch a plane ride with the bad guys to reach them. she promised to kill everyone who was involved in the destruction of the Amazons, so i wonder what happens when she remembers (and meets) Max Lord again.
oh shit moment: Wizard Magazine ran its umpteenth "Who Should Play Wonder Woman" feature.
what's next: a woman's wrath, hopefully.


Diana's winning form for So You Think You Can Dance.

wayne's west

drive-by readings

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #4 (DC) "Dark Night, Dark Rider" Grant Morrison Georges Jeanty Walden Wong Tony Aviña Travis Lanham Andy Kubert (cover) Cameron Stewart (variant cover)

what we learned: Bats meets up with Vandal Savage once again, this time in the old west, and the latter has teamed up with Thomas Wayne (ok, this plot has been thickening since Batman R.I.P.) to find a mysterious box. they've even hired Jonah Hex to take care of this Bat Ghost.
oh shit moment: Hex guns down the Bat.
what's next: Bruce is back ... in the modern world. with the box. the very thing that Superman et al were trying to prevent.


you win this round, Hex, but not the box office!

goodbye, Roy Harper.

t'was nice knowing ya.


thanks a lot, James Robinson and J.T. Krul.

heart of darkness

drive-by readings

Secret Six #22 (DC) Gail Simone Jim Calafiore Jason Wright Travis Lanham Daniel Luvisi (cover)

i have been anticipating this concluding issue of the 'Cats in the Cradle' storyline since it started, and Gail Simone doesn't disappoint me. the kidnapping of Catman's son was a surefire way to nudge the character into a radically different direction. when Villains United started, Catman was the odd man out in terms of being the team conscience and eventually the team's heart, as he's become the silent leader (Bane and Scandal notwithstanding). and for Deadshot to evolve into a loyal friend of sorts, that's a leader of men. Bruce Wayne, for all the loyalty he engenders with his Bat-family and the Justice League, still does crazy things that make his friends want to smack him upside the head every once in a while. Catman is the strong, silent type and has a bunch of lions with him. but with him going off the dark side of the pier, will he now become a true villain? say it ain't so, Roy Harper!

i'm also intrigued that they haven't made a big deal yet of Ragdoll's uhh, equipment until today. i mean Reed Richards should be the ultimate joke, and i don't know if Sue and Ralph joked about it overtly in JLI. Plas should also be the Richards equivalent, but if they don't want to smear his cutesy rep, then Ragdoll is the candidate then. call him Brian Michael Bendy.


and hey since we mentioned Roy, man, this is really a blow to Jade. so she lost Lian, can't get a rise out of Roy, and now lost another. no matter, she gets around anyway right? if there's a mystical process to shorten the 9 month period so she can go set off nukes right after having babies, am sure she would do that.


listen, if you're hungry and angry, Catman has the solution for you. will not work for everyone though.


look, the ending is ambiguous. i'll just say that his son is alive. period. the journey to the heart of darkness is front and center here.

make what harder??

Superboy and Wonder Girl are only Teens in age.


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Teen Titans #83

R.I.P. Ryan Choi

and here i thought another Atom going thru snot was the worst thing.


ah, Ryan Choi, we barely knew ye.



so who else dies in Brightest Day?

Kyle Rayner?
Wally West?
Donna Troy?
Cassie Sandsmark?
the hispanic Blue Beetle?
Bart Allen? again?
Speedy Mia?
Roy Harper? (oh wait, "Arsenal" kills them all for "letting" Prometheus kill Lian)

place your bets, and thank Geoff Johns!!!*

* he never actually said Brightest Day would be all flowers and balloons and happy-happy-joy-joy now, did he?

ventriloquist of the day

ventriloquism - the art of projecting one's voice so that it seems to come from another source. in comics, word balloons attributed to the wrong character.

in Outsiders #28, Jefferson Pierce suddenly becomes royalty.



do you know the new Outsiders is being written by the new DC co-publisher? his name is Dan DiDio.

snaps: Secret Six #18

... where the Six team up with Amanda "Fried Donut Burgers For Breakfast" Waller to beat back the Black Lanterns. then make threatening gestures at each other. before someone actually gets the balls to shoot someone else.

how is it any worse than what she eats?


oh, you useless emo bitch.


and this is what happens to useless emo bitches.


Scandal, Scandal ... six more inches towards the middle and you wouldn't have to.


can Batman claim to have done that? who da man, now? who daaaa!!!

snaps: Titans #20

... where am not sure why i read #21 first before this. this is certainly interesting. Donna Troy moves to Miami, and doesn't bring me along. even worse, she finds a handsome bartender to spend time with in-between Amazonian bitching and whining in the Titans tower.

i just hope they're not about bestiality.


clearly, this is the owner of those DVDs.


"LIMUX"? what the-!? what are the rules for product placement and fake product placement?


what's lamer than "Frightful Four"?


Hercules: "Woolly! And you say ..."


and the moral lesson here is: never interrupt Donna while she's eating.

snaps: Titans #21

... where the Titans are at a crossroads, with teammates down or sidetracked or unsure where they're going. that's pretty much it. since there's a cliffhanger, most likely there is a Titans #22.

by "psychopath", she means James Robinson.


wow, you're a model for positive thinking, Donna. you know who i heard that from? the Midnighter.


you mean they were brother and sister? and they did it?? get out!!!


again, let us not read too much into this dialogue ...


is she shocked after looking at a mirror and realizing how skimpy her costume is?

snaps: Blackest Night: Wonder Woman #2

... where we get more girl-on-girl action than the TNA Knockout Tag Team Championship. or not. what we know is, there should be a March Madness-style, single elimination tournament for DC female characters. minus the Mortal Kombat characters. anyone for Power Girl versus Diana for the championship? c'mon, Midway Games and Warner Bros, make this happen!

apparently, Rudolph lost his title for reddest nose of 2009.


i heard Diana wanted to get pierced but this is ridiculous.


c'mon, that's so cliche! hey, Ocean Master, care to file a complaint??


of course, this really doesn't happen but that shocked you all for 10 seconds. and that's what Greg Rucka WANTS.


no, he's not dead!! he's trapped in time and coming back to you in couple of thousand years (two in DCU time).



ditch the collar and that ridiculous faceplate and we're talking, baby!!

Xmas night at the Markov home

man, this family is kinda effed up.




and then they boogie to Soul Train and Barry White - woohoooooo!

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Outsiders #25