snaps: Avengers The Origin #3

... where the Hulk joins the circus, and pretends to be a robot. then gets punked by ants. and then faces off against a wasp and another ant. and a tin man. meanwhile, Thor goes back to Asgard to open a can of whup-ass on Loki.

you mean this world?


and what are you implying, Reed? WHAT??


stop the presses!! Jan actually knows more words than "fashion" and "cute"?


no? well, how about from a cowardly lion? or a brainless scarecrow?


if you're scared of clowns, this is much, much worse.


see, kids ... this is why we shot him to outer space ...

snaps: Avengers: The Origin #2

... where we continue the revamped Avengers' origin for the new kids on the block. Rick Jones' Teen Brigade sends out the call and they came answering: Thor, Iron Man, Wasp (the real one) and Ant-Man (now the gay ass Wasp and calling himself Earth's Scientist Supreme). the target of the manhunt is of course, the mizzandustood Hulk. the puppet master behind the scenes is of course, the same whackjob doing the same thing through the years, Thor's brother Loki. and that's as far as this issue goes, because any action that happens only Thor's addled mind.

no, Virginia, this was even before World War Hulk.


where Jan made her reputation. no wonder Hank Pym slapped her.


yes, thou shalt not mix thy metaphors, sly one!


Tony Stark's greatest fear, crushedinacanitis.



didn't white people use to say that about non-whites? bravo, Jan!

thoughts on Batgirl #4

hmmm ... this might be a new recurring post on this blog.

1) Lamest Thing To Say Before Getting Beaten Up


2) Alicia Silverstone, is that you?


3) Even Criminals Extol the Virtues of HDTV! and Blu-Ray!


4) They Don't Make Supervillains Like They Used To


5) Lesbian Make-out Alert!!! (i'm just saying)

pulp bits

drive-by readings

Batman/Doc Savage one shot (DC) "Bronze Night" Brian Azzarello Phil Noto Clem Robins J.G. Jones (cover)

imagine a young Batman starting his career in a world slightly different from any of the straight up variations we've been served - a Gotham in the late '20s to early '30s, the setting of pulp hero novels of yesteryear, with all the modern amenities (network TV, news crawl and wait - cassette tapes? what, no USB drives?). so its not inconceivable he would run into Doc Savage right? this is apparently, the concept of DC's 2010 project First Wave. feels like they needed to against Marvel's Noir line.

apparently, Dan DiDio has made peace overtures to Brian Azzarello, and now he's back for the Wave project. though i haven't finished his 100 Bullets run yet (i know, shame on me. i will.), i imagine, or hope, he'll be bringing some of the elements of his hard-hitting series into this pulp era condensation of the DCU (or maybe it should be in Noir instead?). i mean Batman already uses dual .45s (considering he swore off guns due to the death of his parents - well, that is, until the Joker pushed him to that line). and the back in the day, i guess guns were the norm (see Blackhawks and Justice Inc. - hey, i remember you, Richard Benson!)

so how else are two crimefighters gonna hook up? well, let's do it the time-honored way: one can be accused of a crime (especially if he operates in the shadows) and the other tries to catch him. Phil Noto doesn't do noir the way i expected but it's not a solo Batman show anyhow, and with the Man of Bronze around, there's a lot of sunshine to go around. i like the way Noto projects brilliance off the Doc. but here's what's puzzling - apparently upon mere observation, Doc Savage already figured out that the bullets that killed a man weren't the Bat's .45, making it look like the cops didn't have ballistics testing at that point, or they were just so lazy or slow (yes, that's a young Jim Gordon already ranting about a cop's one-hand-tied-behind-the-back job story - you go, Jimmy!).

in the Doc Savage Wikipedia entry, author Lester Dent has been quoted in interviews to have written Doc Savage as merely a job, to earn a living by "churning out reams and reams of sellable crap". that may or may not be the case back then (Dent got rich, so who's complaining), but i'm hoping Azzarello won't go down that path. nothing wrong with getting rich WHILE writing great stories, right, DiDio?

Bobby Drake has taste

i mean at least those who don't hate the '80s (snicker) at least remember this classic pin-up, yes?





if you don't like Heather Thomas, i'm seriously questioning your masculinity, right now. yeah, that's right.

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X-Men Origins: Iceman #1

drive-by readings: Batgirl #1

Batgirl #1 (DC) "Batgirl Rising: Point of New Origin, Part 1" Bryan Q Miller Lee Garbett Trevor Scott Guy Major John J Hill Phil Noto (cover) Cully Hamner (variant cover)

Batman dies and he doesn't. not only is he immediately replaced, everybody wants to honor him by taking up the fight. the last Batgirl, Cassandra Cain, has now passed the costume on to dun-dun-dun! ... Stephanie Brown, the girlfriend you'd both love and hate to have (ask Tim Drake). anyway, "The Spoiler" is not exactly a fear-inducing name (i'm sure moviegoers would be asking her to leave the theater!), so "Batgirl" it is. too bad that's the only non-conflicting point around here, as Stephanie struggles with keeping a normal life, and the high of flashing that Bat symbol while knocking out thugs around Gotham. yep, that would make any boyfriend feel a little shriveled in his pants. speaking of boyfriends, the original Batgirl is in here too and why the hell doesn't she just hook up with the current Batman? (oh, that's right, Dick Grayson is no slouch with the ladies - right, Kori?) what she does is just figure out immediately who this new Batgirl running around town is and goes to give her a talking-to. the odds are 5-to-1 she'll still be the Oracle to Steph's crimefighter. Gotham is probably the city with the highest crime rate, as despite the talents of the Bat family, the city's no better than it was before. it's like all the country's criminals migrated to Gotham and stayed there. which means everyone should leave. but i digress. we have a new Batgirl, and she's not shy about sticking her chest out like Supergirl.

putting your best chest forward

because, they want you to focus on the upcoming comic, yes?

breaking news: Super-kin join the Authority

and thus the line is crossed. prepare for the consequences.


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Superman/Supergirl: Maelstrom #5

you hit like a girl! #6

this episode is all about the late, (un?)lamented Danger Girl series.

a brainchild of J. Scott Campbell and Andy Hartnell, Danger Girl was a walking, running, jumping and punching cliché, borrowing heavily from established pop culture world, from James Bond to Indiana Jones. three sexy female superspies? Campbell drawing?? get outta here! Danger Girl was a success from the get go!

until of course, Campbell started missing deadlines (and that was even before PS3/XBox), and the original series finally wrapped - a total of seven issues! - after spanning two US administrations. the publishers probably threatened Campbell with jail time and no video game privileges if he didn't finish the series.

through the years, there was a smattering of DG sightings, none as stylish and exciting as the original run. in as much as i would like someone like Greg Land or Greg Horn illustrating Abbey, Sydney et al, i'm not sure if it will be true to the fun spirit of the concept. oh well. let's take what we can get. maybe someday ...

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the series had the girls mostly using guns, their wits and the environment around them to save the day. however, there are some great times when you have to do things mano-a-mano ... as demonstrated here by Abbey Chase ...

... or pie-a-cara, courtesy of Sydney Savage ...


or pies-a-cara, from the third Danger Girl who eventually became a villain, Natalia Kassle.

in the regular series, a common punching bag was the douchebag known as Donovin Conrad. i think he spent of his screentime being humiliated by girls, especially headliner Abbey Chase.

Abbey gets another crack at the debonair loser


while Natalia makes it three (and dislodging his hairpiece)


if there's any doubt about Abbey's hotness, this should all put your fears to rest.


whether barely clothed or not, Abbey has no problem dishing the hurt.

despite the popularity of the blonde Abbey, my favorite has always been the Australian, leather-clad, whip-snapping Sydney Savage. as you can see, she loves using her feet to get her point across.

she can even take two at a time


but having some help always has its advantages.

i'm not sure if having two sexy girls manhandle you is a good thing, or bad. some people like to think its the former.

of course, the Danger Girls do not limit themselves to hitting the opposite sex.


its nice to see some girl-on-girl action once in a while.


of course, they even do it amongst themselves.


damn. Sydney got PWND twice. damn!

of course, there's the fourth (unofficial) member, Silicon Valerie (stop laughing and wait till she grows up - and fills out), who can only dream for now of being a full-fledged operative. in the meantime, she still dreams of paralyzing mutant gorillas.

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taken from Danger Girl: Original Series, Danger Girl Special, Back in Black, Hawaiian Punch, Viva Las Danger