sizzler

drive-by readings

The Boys #46 (Dynamite) "Believe, Part Three" Garth Ennis Russ Braun Tony Aviña Simon Bowland Darick Robertson (cover)

what we learned: finally: Butcher and Hughie let it all out, and i can empathize with Hughie for being scared of not being trusted anymore. Butcher breathes a sigh of relief, but there's still a big problem as the two are in love. also Mother's Milk flask is missing.
oh shit moment: two: Queen Maeve is a spy for the Boys (and didja see her pics!!) and Hughie watches Annie/Starlight's initiation into the Seven.
what's next: like Butcher says, you gotta be cruel to be kind. is this gonna break up Hughie and Annie?


due to the family nature (pfshhh) of this blog, that's all we can show you.

ghostwalkin'

drive-by readings

The Last Phantom #1 (Dynamite) "Ghostwalk Chapter One: Phantom Living" Scott Beatty Eduardo Ferigato Vinicius Andrade Simon Bowland Alex Ross (cover) Joe Prado/Fabiano Nieves (variant cover)

what we learned: at last The Phantom gets reinvented, Dynamite-style, and gone are the light-hearted Sunday fun strips and Billy Zane. this time, Kitridge Walker (consider him the white T'Challa) steps firmly into his legacy as his family is massacred by greedy rivals, including his own friend, the appropriately named Peter Quisling (what, he never vetted the guy??).
oh shit moment: Peter Quisling?? how obvious can you get? seriously, when "Kit Walker" assumes the Phantom garb (only figuratively, because he's covered in either blood or warpaint), i think i wet my pants.
what's next: skullprints across faces. wait, make that across nuts.


Phantom versus Predators, who ya got??

punchout part 1

drive-by readings

Incredible Hulk #611 (Marvel) "Sons of Wrath" Greg Pak Paul Pelletier Danny Miki Frank D'Armata Simon Bowland John Romita Jr/Klaus Janson/Dean White (cover) Dale Keown (variant cover)

what we learned: monsters have hearts after all. after almost laying waste to Washington DC and Ocean City, MD (wassup, OC???), Hulk and Skaar finally come to terms and accept their past, and perhaps forge a future. am still weirded out by Banner or Hulk not aware of each other, but the days of dumb Hulk are long gone (save in Marvel Super Hero Squad), so the smart Hulk should not be constrained from Banner anymore eh? for this Heroic Age, let's have one freakin' smart Hulk/Banner and be a positive force in the MU in the foreseeable future.
oh shit moment: Banner hugs Skaar, and we can finally close the book on loose cannons. hopefully.
what's next: Hulk takes Skaar to Disney World!!!


and the snot. don't forget to wipe off the snot.

opening wounds

drive-by readings

The Boys #45 (Dynamite) "Believe, Part Two" Garth Ennis Russ Braun Tony Aviña Simon Bowland Darick Robertson (cover)

what we learned: Annie comes clean with Hughie, but the latter pukes and runs. the Homelander and Oh Father start rolling the dice on whether they should support Vought on the "supes for national defense" thing. good thing the Boys are on the case.
oh shit moment: when i realized that The Female cutting loose in that right-wing Christian festival was just a teaser. damn!!!
what's next: Butcher and Hughie have been conveniently dancing around for issues now on the subject of Annie. goddammit, let the truth out already!!!


Simon Pegg is asking for his royalties.

snaps: Incredible Hulk #610

... where Bruce Banner saves the world again, right before he destroys it. peace will never be in his vocabulary. also, goodbye, Leo?



oh, isn't that father-daughter thing creepy?


Amadeus Cho vs Modok for Biggest Egghead of 2010!!!



always the same mistake: too many dramatics, not enough action. boooooooo!!!


yes, you can also buy it in the Apple App Store for $4.99.


oh, now you want to do something worthwhile??

snaps: Hercules - Fall of an Avenger

... where Herc's old pals in the Avengers, the Champions, and the Lady Friends of the Prince of Power gather to mourn him. tales are told, glasses are raised, and tears are shed. but what we really want to know is, what the hell is the Elven Tickler??

look! Wolverine's drinking invisible mead!!


ok, that was Northstar right? but on the cover, it shows Pietro?


hey, hey, hey, who's the Asian around here?!? Amadeus, he's mocking you!


dammit, show us the Elven Tickler!!!


Amadeus has a message for the six people ahead of him on the World's Smartest List.

snaps: Incredible Hulk #606

... where i find myself confused as to what the Fall of the Hulks is all about. well, if it ends up reducing the Hulk population to 1, then that's fine. as much as i liked Planet Hulk and World War Hulk, they begat crazy shit that Peter David would cringe at. we wouldn't get any answers anytime soon anyway (unless you troll the message boards), so let's just make fun of this as we go along. Jeph Loeb contributes to this thing, so draw your own conclusions.

New Yorkers already forgot what the Hulk did a couple of years ago.


how do they get Old Power anyway? Sakaar sends a weekly supply via FedEx?


Dr. Doom is a difficult music teacher to work under.


i guess Skaar doesn't like talking to the hand.


in the last couple of months, Doom has been humiliated by Norman Osborn, the Black Panthers, and now Bruce Banner and the Leader. a dumb ray? even Reed Richards didn't think of that.


"ummmm ... Douchebag!"


we know Jennifer was a snot-nosed kid back then, but this is just ridiculous.

Amadeus Cho also has taste

... too bad the spinster Athena has to be a wet blanket.




the Greg Pak/Fred Van Lente home run derby continues.

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Assault on New Olympus #1

two leaps forward, one leap back

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Hulk one shot (Marvel) Greg Pak Ben Oliver Veronica Gandini Simon Bowland

now we get to Norman Osborn's "neutralize Bruce Banner" item on his list. how does he fare this time? oooohhh looks like he won, kiddies. he thinks he's taking Banner off the board by (eventually) reverting him back to Hulk, and get whacked by his own son, Skaar. but the price of that may be unleashing the Hulk again, not just on the world, but on Osborn himself (that is, if Clint Barton doesn't get Osborn first. oh wait - that never happened).

Bruce walking around with Skaar kinda reminds me of the Banner/Hulk representation in Earth X (or the current Hercules/Amadeus Cho team up). and he's walking around with personal force fields, uber-hacker class PDAs, pocket teleporters, and "Bannertech nanoparticulates" (since when did he have his own brand?). even Nick Fury wasn't this hooked up! a year ago he was wrecking NYC, and now he's like Bill Gates crossed with Wil Wheaton with a weapon of mass destruction.

also to reference other books, in Hulk #602-603, Bruce hangs out with Skaar in the hopes of getting him straightened out, and at the same time get him some combat practice (like he needs it!). so when Skaar pops the Juggernaut into space, this necessitates a visit by the ol' Canucklehead, whom Skaar promptly slaps around. Bruce sets up a meeting with Daken and both sides get bruised and battered in the process and nothing seems to have been fixed on either side (both sons still want to kill their fathers at some point - such adorable children!). then in Wolverine Origins #41, Banner (working as night watchman - hah!!) crosses paths with Wolverine (again) in his quest to one-up Romulus. and it seems like Skaar doesn't even remember a single thing about Wolverine. somebody get their stories straight, as these books were all released right about the same time.

and now Victoria Hand is becoming a combat specialist too? what in the world?

the real inglorious basterds

The Boys doing their version of goose-stomping on Nazi super"hero" Stormfront. wooohoooooooo!

drive-by readings: Incredible Hercules #133

Incredible Hercules #133 (Marvel) "Road of Trials" Fred Van Lente Greg Pak Rodney Buchemi Emily Warren Simon Bowland Rafael Albuquerque (cover) Salva Espin (variant frame cover)

Greg Pak unites with Fred Van Lente to continue chronicling the Hulk's supporting characters (Herc would kinda take offense to that), and they probably should have called this The Incredible Amadeus Cho, as Herc does not exactly make an appearance (owing to the fallout they had last issue). there is a reason that the Choster (hey, i didn't make that up) is only the 7th smartest person on Earth - the one above him (the tastefully-named Pythagoras Dupree) has him in his sights. but if he succeeds then the eight smartest person would move up the chain, no? anyway, not sure how this Dupree can back up his words because he only looks marginally better than Stephen Hawking. but he may have something to do with the murder of Cho's parents or the disappearance of his sister Marie Curie Cho (at this rate, i should start calling myself Galileo Timberlake). hmmmm. what would Herc do? yes, ask you to pull his finger.

drive-by readings: Buck Rogers #2

Buck Rogers #2 (Dynamite Entertainment) "Future Shock, Part 2: Animal Husbandry ..." Scott Beatty Carlos Rafael Carlos Lopez Simon Bowland John Cassaday and Laura Martin (cover)

and the adventure continues. not a bad issue, as we get some backstory prior to Buck's ill-fated launch into space. apparently, he has to intercept a runaway satellite with DNA-heavy cargo shot out by the last survivor of a plague-infested Fort Heinlein (nice nod, part 1). his new superior, with whom he's at odds with (ah, the boring life of a daredevil pilot) is currently shacking up with his ex, who in this case is named Captain Ashley(?) Deering. fast forward into the future (2519), this time it's a Colonel Wilma Deering (the one we know and spunky too - wait, she didn't actually say her name was "Deering") and she's an Earth Protectorate officer investigating aliens trafficking in human meat and illegal genetic engineering in so-called slaughter ships. breaking free of their captors (hey, look its Princess Ardala), they go through a trash chamber (nice nod, part 2) and promptly eject themselves to space. yes, they're just orbiting Mars. whooopeee.

drive-by readings: Herogasm #2

Herogasm #2 (Dynamite) "Amsterdam" Garth Ennis John McCrea Keith Burns Simon Bowland Tony Aviña Darick Robertson (cover)

we didn't learn much from this issue, except ... wait, we learned a lot from this issue, and they're all unprintable. yes, little boys, move along now, nothing to see here. don't you see the Mature Readers label? geddouddaheah.

and on that note ... we look forward to the Boys crashing the party next issue. snort up.

drive-by readings: Buck Rogers #1

Buck Rogers #1 (Dynamite Entertainment) "Future Shock, Part 1: One Giant Leap ..." Scott Beatty Carlos Rafael Carlos Lopez Simon Bowland John Cassaday and Laura Martin (cover)

considering my only exposure to daredevil spaceman Anthony "Buck" Rogers was the early '80s TV show ("Chicago, Chiii-cago..."), and also that Robot Chicken episode, i'm not familiar with the whole mythos and had to check Wikipedia (heh.) turns out the guy predates even Flash Gordon and Dan Dare, with only John Carter of Mars debuting earlier in 1912. Dynamite has to be commended for taking classic characters (Lone Ranger, Zorro, Green Hornet) and breathing new life into them. ok, so new audiences take note, the basic premise is still the same: hotshot space pilot in current time gets lost (space warp?) and lands in future, where new exciting adventures commence.

just like before, the man out of time encounters a familiar character, Col. Wilma Deering (of course. Erin Gray fan reunion!) garbed in an antigravity suit with a gun. Buck still doesn't get it that he's not on his Earth anymore, and the appearance of an armored walking bear should have made him realize this. of course, he gets vaporized into somewhere else before seeing the bear talk (and even has a name. "Ursunius"? why not "Yogi"?). well, they still got my attention. let the adventure begin.

drive-by readings: The Boys #31

The Boys #31 (Dynamite) "The Self Preservation Society, Part 1" Garth Ennis Carlos Ezquerra Hector Ezquerra Simon Bowland Tony Aviña Darick Robertson (cover)

finally! from the opening storyline where we were introduced to the Seven (the ethically-challenged version of the JLA), i was waiting for this throwdown. in a set up that kind of echoes the death of Luca Brasi, one of the Boys get taken down. and that made me really sad. dammit, i want a lot of asskicking to happen because of this. no more name taking, Billy Butcher. by the way, Garth, nice work on retelling an alternate version of Hal Jordan's origin.

where no 15 year old geek has gone before

... Garth Ennis is taking them there, aye, as long as they even get to purchase this material.



after the tongue-in-cheek sleazy premise of the first few issues, The Boys jumped (or were pushed?) off the DC/Wildstorm wagon because of the material itself. finding a new home under Dynamite, the series continued its narrative on superhero skullduggery and political conspiracies while toning down (relatively) its graphic depictions of the crazy shit that Ennis said would "out-Preacher Preacher". if you ask me, the past year's output has been too talky for me.

now comes (pun intended) its first spinoff, Herogasm, which takes us back to those early days (in tone) of The Boys. in a nutshell, all these (damaged) superheroes (who are technically backed by the military establishment) need their R&R, and what better way to do that than cook up a fake global/planetary crisis ("alien invasion!") and heroically "leave" Earth to deal with it. actually, they just all went to some supersecret remote island, where all the best hookers in the world are waiting. and i don't just mean female hookers.

i started laughing as soon as Homelander (the Superman of this book) made his Hollywood-tailored we-who-are-about-to-die speech - i knew where this was going, and i'm surprised no one has thought of this before. all the heroes we idolize are just frauds and just as fucked-up as the rest of us. they just happen to have superpowers.

according to CBR (by way of Wikipedia), Ennis states that " ... while we're having a pop at the notion of mass crossovers within a shared universe, we're not picking on 'Crisis' or 'Secret Wars' or 'Countdown' or whatever in particular." oh yeah? i think i lost it when Homelander started mentioning "Chaocrisis" and "Covert Intrusion". "Final Fracas"? "Civil Dispute"? heee heee heee.

so where are the Boys in this version of a summer event? right smack in the middle of it, and they're not after a cape this time. oh no, they aren't ...


summer suddenly got even better!!!

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Herogasm #1