sizzler

drive-by readings

The Boys #46 (Dynamite) "Believe, Part Three" Garth Ennis Russ Braun Tony Aviña Simon Bowland Darick Robertson (cover)

what we learned: finally: Butcher and Hughie let it all out, and i can empathize with Hughie for being scared of not being trusted anymore. Butcher breathes a sigh of relief, but there's still a big problem as the two are in love. also Mother's Milk flask is missing.
oh shit moment: two: Queen Maeve is a spy for the Boys (and didja see her pics!!) and Hughie watches Annie/Starlight's initiation into the Seven.
what's next: like Butcher says, you gotta be cruel to be kind. is this gonna break up Hughie and Annie?


due to the family nature (pfshhh) of this blog, that's all we can show you.

opening wounds

drive-by readings

The Boys #45 (Dynamite) "Believe, Part Two" Garth Ennis Russ Braun Tony Aviña Simon Bowland Darick Robertson (cover)

what we learned: Annie comes clean with Hughie, but the latter pukes and runs. the Homelander and Oh Father start rolling the dice on whether they should support Vought on the "supes for national defense" thing. good thing the Boys are on the case.
oh shit moment: when i realized that The Female cutting loose in that right-wing Christian festival was just a teaser. damn!!!
what's next: Butcher and Hughie have been conveniently dancing around for issues now on the subject of Annie. goddammit, let the truth out already!!!


Simon Pegg is asking for his royalties.

the weekly hits

Brightest Day #5 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Peter Tomasi/Ivan Reis/Ardian Syaf/Joe Prado/Vicente Cifuentes/Peter Steigerwald/Rob Clark Jr (covers: David Finch/Scott Williams/Steigerwald, Reis/Chuck Pires)
what we learned: Katar and Shiera fight the Thundercats. and some winged creatures. also, Hank Hall is rapidly supplanting Guy Gardner's as the DCU's #1 douche. and Aquaman finally does something about the Gulf Coast oil spill. kinda. contrary to certain reports.
oh shit moment: what? Mera has a backstory?? get out!!
what's next: what's really going on in Hawkworld? will Aquaman be a swinging single soon?

oh snap! well, that certainly changes things ...

Invincible Iron Man Annual #1 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Carmine Giandomenico/Matt Wilson/Joe Caramagna (cover: Salvador Larroca)
what we learned: acclaimed Asian film director Jun Shan (Ang Lee, is that you?) gets kidnapped by the Mandarin to film his life story. who knows if this is will be his new origin, as i like the Knaufs' story of his resurrection much better. by the way, nice nod to your Iron Fist run, Mr. Fraction.
oh shit moment: Jun Shan thinks he can escape with his zombie wife, but alas, that is not the case.
what's next: of course he's coming back in the pages of Iron Man. what i'd like to see is how to incorporate him in the Iron Man movies, beyond the Ten Rings terrorist organization. Prometheus CEO, anyone?

and Robert Downey Jr. nails the part ... again!

X-Force #28 (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/Mike Choi/Sonia Oback/Joe Caramagna (cover: Adi Granov)
what we learned: X-Force returns from the future, thanks to the magic of Cable's techno-organic virus, now given free rein. left to his own devices, Bastion goes mano-a-mano with Hope (who's displaying all the powers of existing mutants, but apparently Bastion thinks its new and unclassified). well, ain't you the smart one.
oh shit moment: the Cable ... is broken. also, the Golden Gate bridge.
what's next: is Bastion dead? will Hope bitch slap Cyclops, leading to a catfight between her and Emma? place your bets!

well, its about goddamn time ... oh wait, too many people have already died. so, no.

Fantastic Four Annual #32 (Marvel)
Joe Ahearne/Bryan Hitch/Andrew Currie/Paul Mounts/Rain Beredo/Rus Wooton/Chris Eliopoulos
what we learned: heeeeeere's Johnny! and heeeeee's a daddy! wonder why it took that long. Joe Ahearne takes his Dr. Who experience and translates into a Fantastic Voyage for our heroes. turns out the Psycho-Woman (wait, that's her name and not another of Johnny's one night stands) engineered the whole thing so she can create an army of cosmic warriors based on Johnny's tissues. why can't Reed just build Johnny his own artificial Friday Night Zone?
oh shit moment: the egg donor, Amy, jumps into the timestream. presumably to stop what was going to happen, but if Reed can't say for sure, how do we really know?
what's next: have any of y'all seen Jonathan Storm Jr? blond, blue eyes, about this height?

yes. especially David Lee Roth.

Shadowland #1 (Marvel)
Andy Diggle/Billy Tan/Matt Banning/Christina Strain/Guru EFx/Joe Caramagna (cover: John Cassaday/Laura Martin)
who wants to beat up Bullseye? you, Daredevil? step right up! wait, what are you doing with that sai? no, you can't -noooooooooooooo! oh crap.

Steve Rogers: Super-Soldier #1 (Marvel)
Ed Brubaker/Dale Eaglesham/Andy Troy/Joe Caramagna (cover: Carlos Pacheco/Tim Townsend/Frank D'Armata)
what we learned: his name is Rogers. Steve Rogers. MGM may put the Bond franchise on hold, but here's a worthy alternative. Rogers, suddenly adjusting to the new world, takes on multitasking to a whole new level as S.H.I.E.L.D. boss, Avengers commander, leader of his own Secret Avengers, and going on his own private missions. how does he do it? how does he sleep? anyhoo, Prof. Erskine's grandson has cracked the Super Soldier formula and he's selling it to the highest bidder. only it turns out he may not be aware of the latter fact.
oh shit moment: was Steve Rogers really as thin as DJ Qualls back then?
what's next: sleep is overrated.

no, Steve, that would be so cliché.

Scarlet #1 (Marvel/Icon)
Brian Michael Bendis/Alex Maleev/Chris Eliopoulos (variant covers: David LaFuente/Mike Deodato)
what we learned: there is no escape from Bendis (well there is, if you stop following any of his work). Scarlet is the creator-owned collaboration from these Daredevil maestros, and it already reeks of aiming for Hollywood. not to say that its not good, but let's have a fully-hashed storyline before we give it the Kick-Ass treatment, yeah?
oh shit moment: when you have to stand up for your rights and take it to the law because you know what's right.
what's next: how did a slacker become an assassin? there's hope for us!

remind me not to go biking in Portland.

The Boys #44 (Dynamite)
Garth Ennis/Russ Braun/Tony Aviña/Simon Bowland (cover: Darick Robertson)
what we learned: religion and truth and justice don't really mix. Hughie and the Butcher make up. kinda.
oh shit moment: The Homelander. John Travolta. Staying Alive. Ha-ha-ha-ha ... stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive. oh, and Hughie learns the truth.
what's next: ever attended a religious rally?

sounds like 2006's Civil War.

Batman & Robin #13 (DC)
Grant Morrison/Frazer Irving/Pat Brosseau
what we learned: am glad Grant Morrison is still having fun with this title (coupled with the Return of Bruce Wayne). Oberon Sexton, unmasked as the Joker, has some agenda not yet in play, as events from the beginning of this series still have impact. also, Batman has his own subway station that is much better than the average New York MTA deathtrap.
oh shit moment: how many you want? Thomas Wayne shooting Batman, Robin laying serious whupass on the Joker, or the return of Pyg?
what's next: can we keep Frazer Irving on this book?

"and that's for Jason Todd! just kidding."

Secret Six #23 (DC)
John Ostrander/RB Silva/Alexandre Palamaro/Jason Wright/Travis Lanham (cover: Daniel Luvisi)
what we learned: an earlier story patterned after The Most Dangerous Game and Battle Royale. hey, it was about time we put the Six through their paces. yeah, well, Catman can still smile here.
oh shit moment: actually, that part is the realization where this thing wasn't a challenge for the Six. at all. i thought it would have been a two-parter or something. whatever.
what's next: we want angry Catman!

how Nero ended up after he burned Rome down.

Scalped #39 (DC/Vertigo)
Jason Aaron/RM Guera/Giulia Brusco/Steve Wands (cover: Jock)
what we learned: except for a few issues, this series is always intensely angry. with a new story arc "Unwanted", Aaron delves into parenthood and the realities and responsibilities of assuming that state, this time from the point of view of Carol Ellroy. turns out she was unwanted by her mother, and now pregnant (again) as well, the apple don't fall far from the tree. plus, RM Guera is up there with the detailed artwork (especially grubby trashed rooms) with George and Phil.
oh shit moment: Dashiell Bad Horse vs Shunka. no contest. also, Dashiell's dad shows up.
what's next: we want a Bad Horse/Shunka rematch!

Dashiell Bad Horse would like to change his name to Easily-Beaten-By-A-Sissy.

Rawhide Kid: The Sensational Seven #2 (Marvel)
Ron Zimmerman/Howard Chaykin/Edgar Delgado/Jeff Eckleberry (cover: Dave Johnson)
what we learned: with a lot of Western nods (Deadwood, the Lone Ranger) and witty dialogue, this book has me in stitches. the fab Rawhide Kid assembles his seven (i didn't realize Lobo was the seventh) and goes to stop the Hanging of the Earps.
oh shit moment: Seth Bullock. a literate Red Wolf. Two-Gun Kid in his pre-Avengers/Kang days.
what's next: man, i gotta stop playing Borderlands, and get on with Red Dead Redemption.

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

the weekly hits

Birds of Prey #2 (DC)
Gail Simone/Ed Benes/Adriana Melo/Mariah Benes/Nei Ruffino/Steve Wands

what we learned: someone has successfully set up the reunited Birds, particularly Black Canary, to be fugitives from the law.
holy shit moment: Black Canary and the Huntress throw down on the White Canary, but she barely flinches. also, isn't it weird to have infamous macho Hank Hall standing with the sexy birds - considering Hall is just Guy Gardner with super-strength minus a power ring?
what's next: who's this White Canary? don't tell me someone kidnapped Sin, force-grew her to adulthood and brainwashed her to hate Dinah. also, Oracle apparently realized someone out-nerded her (is it Calculator? nope, he's just been asskicked in the pages of Batgirl, depending on the shipping schedule), and now will debug the program. girl po-wahh!!

avatar of peace and hotness! ay caramba!

The Boys #43 (Dynamite Entertainment)
Garth Ennis/Darick Robertson/Richard P. Clark/Simon Bowland/Tony Aviña

what we learned: things get finally sorted out as Mother's Milk gets in the Butcher's face, and Wee Hughie pays a bit o' a price for defending Superduper against Malchemical (who's apparently not as resilient as Metamorpho)
holy shit moment: what would happen if Mother's Milk and Butcher went at it? schism!
what's next: Homelander's up to something. and hey, when is everyone going to find out about Hughie and Annie?

Executive Assistant Iris #5 (Aspen)
David Wohl/Brad Foxhoven/Eduardo Francisco/Alex Lei/John Starr/Josh Reed

what we learned: love exacts a high price, if you're in the business of killing people.
holy shit moment: Iris thinks she can still have her cake and eat it too, but too late.
what's next: beware a woman's wrath, especially if said woman can kill you without breaking a sweat in a heartbeat.

New Avengers #1 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/Stuart Immonen/Wade Von Grawbadger/Laura Martin/Chris Eliopoulos

Basically, a catch-all book for the rest of the Avengers who are not on the main "Big Guns" team. and more likely it will be a team-up book with non-Avengers as well. Bendis dialogue is dead on as usual. putting Victoria Hand as their coordinator/liaison is sure to ratchet up tensions, especially with Jessica Jones. hell, Hand is a lot easier to the eye than Henry Gyrich and Duane Freeman.

Tom Strong and the Robots of Doom #1 (America's Best Comics/Wildstorm/DC)
Peter Hogan/Chris Sprouse/Karl Story/Todd Klein/Carrie Strachan
aaaaaaaaaaaaaand he's back. and fighting in a timeline hijacked by Nazis. well, not exactly Nazis. Aryan Supremacists. led by his son, Albrecht. and you thought your life was bad.

Incredible Hulk #610 (Marvel)
Greg Pak/Paul Pelletier/Danny Miki/Frank D'Armata/Simon Bowland (covers: John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Dean White)
you know its always attention-grabbing when the Hulk slams down for a groundbreaking appearance. yes, you heard what i said. The. Hulk.

Brightest Day #4 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Peter Tomasi/Ivan Reis/Ardian Syaf/Scott Clark/Oclair Albert/Vicente Cifuentes/David Beaty/Peter Steigerwald/John Starr/Rob Clark Jr. (covers: Finch/Scott Williams/Steigerwald, Reis/Chuck Pires)

what we learned: ummm, Hawkpersons are not in Peru anymore. Deadman is more interesting dead, and something is taking the water out of people and places. or maybe its just Firestorm.
holy shit moment: umm, splash pages with Dove and some Mera-like babe with a water sword?
what's next: i'm barely with this series, only because i want to see the inevitable clash between Aquaman and Black Manta.

Shayera/Kendra will not cut it in Last Comic Standing.

New Mutants #14 (Marvel)
Zeb Wells/Ibraim Roberson/Lan Medina/Nathan Fox/Brian Reber/Matt Milla/Jose Villarubia/Joe Caramagna (covers: Adi Granov/David Finch/Matt Banning/Peter Steigerwald)
what we learned: conveniently, we have Legion on rehab/standby, and with a nifty machine that can project any one of his mutant personalities at will (they have all this fancy gadgetry but they have to depend on the outside world for food. go figure.). meanwhile, X-Force is making headway in shutting down Nimrod Central. also
holy shit moment: not sure if i've seen it before but Colossus having his arm broken? yeeeech.
what's next: Magneto is about to join the fray. finally!!!! (and i hope Hope does too.)

take, this broken arm, and learn to punch again, learn to swing so free.

Crossed: Family Values #2 (Avatar Press)
David Lapham/Javier Barreno/Julien Huggonard-Bert/DigiKore Studios (covers: Jacen Burrows/Paul Duffield/Michael DiPascale/JuanMar)

what we learned: the Pratts have relocated and rebuilt their community in Montana, but its only the winter that separates them from the Crossed.
holy shit moment: how many do you want? the Mormon bishops reduced to their basic instincts? the studying of a Crossed specimen? or that Daddy Pratt is still up to his old ways?
what's next: the inspiration is The Walking Dead, but David Lapham has taken Garth Ennis' horrifying concept of zombies with id gone wild and ran with it. what would Addy do now that it seems like there is no lesser evil?

things i liked this week

Captain America/Black Panther: Flags of our Fathers #2 (Marvel)
Reginald Hudlin/Denys Cowan/Klaus Janson/Pete Pantazis/Joe Sabino

Captain America makes the case for being a wartime ambassador, carefully bringing Wakanda to play on the world stage. and he and the Black Panther need to move quick, because the Red Skull has his secret weapons (starting with the stupidly-named Master Man). by the way, who's this Panther? T'Challa's grampa? man, kids today don't even know WWII. this one's for hardcore fans.

Amazing Spider-Man #630 (Marvel)
Zeb Wells/Chris Bachalo/Tim Townsend/Jaime Mendoza/Joe Caramagna (variant cover: Joe Quinones)
reads like a movie script, especially around the end when the inevitable happens. maybe this should be Spider-Man 4?


Secret Six #21 (DC)
Gail Simone/Jim Calafiore/Jason Wright/Travis Lanham (cover: Daniel Luvisi)

Catman tracks down his son's kidnappers in an efficient manner that would impress Batman, while his teammates are hot on his trail, trying to pull him off the brink of the abyss. but it seems too late, as he's been leaving a trail of dead bodies in his wake. plus we get a backstory that says it may not be far off for Blake to be a killer anyway. can't wait for the conclusion.

War of the Supermen #1 (DC)
Sterling Gates/James Robinson/Jamal Igle/Jon Sibal/Blond/John J. Hill (cover: Eddy Barrows/J.P. Mayer/Rod Reis; variant cover: Aaron Lopresti/Matt Ryan/Brad Anderson)

this whole screw-it-let's-bring-back-the-Kryptonians thing kind of cheapens the myth of Krypton and Kal's parents sending him out as the only survivor of their doomed planet. the only thing i look forward to (and thus regarding this as the first step) is the eventual demise of everyone (including a painful death for General Zod), leaving Supes again as the only remaining Kryptonian (ok, including Kara and Karen).

Uncanny X-Men #523 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Terry Dodson/Rachel Dodson/Justin Ponsor/Joe Caramagna (cover: Adi Granov, variant cover: David Finch/Matt Banning/Peter Steigerwald)
the X-Men take a breather to bury one of their own (Ariel obviously didn't merit several pages), and still oblivious to the internal threat of Donald Pierce. seething emotions rise to the surface, the most obvious ones from Hank, blaming Cyclops for the debacle, and Logan, who can barely contain his anger at losing Kurt, not knowing whether Hope was worth the risk and loss. i don't know what the general consensus is for Second Coming, but personally it ranks high among the better X-crossovers of the past.


Incorruptible #5 (Boom Studios)

Mark Waid/Horacio Domingues/Andrew Dalhouse/Ed Dukeshire (covers: Rafael Albuquerque/Dennis Calero/Jeffrey Spokes)
Max Damage turns his town upside with a decoy Jailbait to find the real Jailbait. unfortunately, he may be too late. Mark Waid has been upping the ante in his Irredeemable universe, and this has the makings of what Invincible ultimately became for Image.


Irredeemable #13 (Boom Studios)
Mark Waid/Diego Barreto/Andrew Dalhouse/Ed Dukeshire (covers: Paul Azaceta/ChrisCross)
the secret of Bete Noir! yes, it doesn't stop at that damn candle wax. looks like she's the only one left to carry on the fight, and with Modeus on the loose, Tony the Plutonian may not be her biggest problem. at the moment.

Brightest Day #1 (DC)

Geoff Johns/Peter Tomasi/Ivan Reis/Patrick Gleason/Ardian Syaf/Scott Clark/Joe Prado/Vicente Cifuentes/Mark Irwin/Oclair Albert/David Beaty/Peter Steigerwald/Rob Clark (cover: David Finch/Scott Williams variant: Reis/Chuck Pires)
an event so huge, it took a million creators to produce it (and basically overloading Blogger's paltry tag limit). why is Aquaman still calling dead fish? is J'onn a murderer? will Ronnie and Jason ever become BFFs? why can't the Hawks ever find peace? is it really the brightest day or is that just the sun piercing my hangover? gaaaahhhhh!

Red Robin #12 (DC)
Christopher Yost/Marcus To/Ray McCarthy/Guy Major/Sal Cipriano
the whole point of the Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul is to position him to kill the rest of the Wayne family. just kidding, but not really. Tim Drake/Wayne checkmates him and ... well, it turns out that may not be totally the case. altogether now, Red Robin ..... yummmmm!


Batman & Robin #12 (DC)
Grant Morrison/Andy Clarke/Scott Hanna/Dustin Nguyen/Alex Sinclair/Patrick Brosseau (cover by Frank Quitely/Clarke)
who is Gotham's king?
Damian no longer Al Ghul.
Sexton is a joke.


The Boys #42 (Dynamite Entertainment)
Garth Ennis/Darick Robertson/Richard P. Clark/Simon Bowland/Tony Aviña

Butcher continues his surreptitious investigation of Wee Hughie, hoping that his worst fears won't come true. Metamorpho Malchemical laughing at Superduper continues to amuse (bad). the pacing's been a bit slow, but it all comes to a head next issue. heh, head.

Hellboy In Mexico (Dark Horse)
Mike Mignola/Richard Corben/Dave Stewart/Clem Robins

an idea that makes so much sense as much as it doesn't: Hellboy teaming up with luchadores to fight supernatural evil. Jack Black may have pushed it toward public consciousness, and Moon Knight and Deadpool may have ramped it up with their team-ups with the Zapata Brothers, but somehow putting Hellboy and festive-costumed Mexican wrestlers together is a lot more intriguing and entertaining. Hellboy 3 subplot?

things i liked this week

Batman and Robin #11 (DC)
Grant Morrison/Andy Clarke/Scott Hanna/Tony Aviña/Alex Sinclair/Patrick Brosseau
devils, bats and sextons, oh my! Damian's probably not gonna forgive his mom.

Shield #1 (Marvel)
Jonathan Hickman/Dustin Weaver/Christina Strain/Todd Klein (cover with Gerald Parel)
Marvel history buffs, this one's for you. everything you know is ... well, let's just say nobody really knew anything. can you imagine the spinoffs? i vote for one that features Agents walking between the raindrops of (and influencing) Marvel events in the last twenty years (Jasper Sitwell, come on down!).

Superman: Secret Origins #5 (DC)
Geoff Johns/Gary Frank/Jon Sibal/Brad Anderson/Steve Wands
terrific story by Johns, with Luthor, Lois Lane's douchebag military dad and his tool protege all coming together to take down the naive Superman. this should have been the material to reboot the Superman franchise (especially considering Johns' history with the films and the Donners).


Uncanny X-Men #523 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Terry Dodson/Rachel Dodson/Justin Ponsor/Joe Caramagna (cover: Adi Granov, variant cover: David Finch/Peter Steigerwald)
although the Dodsons turn in some work not up to par with their standards (the X-Men teleporting a couple of times to cover a few feet?), Matt Fraction's handling of the newest X-crossover has been all pedal-to-the-metal, which i am liking. Scott's about to pay big time for authorizing X-Force, but first they have to bring back Hope and Cable safe and sound. not that easy.


Red Robin #11 (DC)
Christopher Yost/Marcus To/Ray McCarthy/Mark McKenna/Guy Major/Sal Cipriano
if Bruce Wayne is already here, what is Tim Drake doing running around looking for him though?

say it! "Red Robin ....... yuummmmmm!"

The Boys #41 (Dynamite)
Garth Ennis/Darick Robertson/Simon Bowland/Tony Aviña
Malchemical joins the bunch of retard ... oppps, sheltered superheroes in SuperDuper, and a chance meeting with Hughie adds to Butcher's suspicions. this is not going to end in a good way.


Thor and the Warriors Four #1 (Marvel)
Alex Zalben/Gurihiru/Dave Sharpe
Power Pack meets Pet Avengers in their quest to ask Thor for golden apples to cure their grandma. aaaaaawwwww. the only thing i need to point out is, didn't the kids meet Thor way back in the Mutant Massacre? why does it look like they're not sure he exists?


Turf #1 (Image)
Jonathan Ross/Tommy Lee Edwards/John Workman/John Barber (variant covers: Jim Steranko/Duncan Fregedo)
vampires in Prohibition era New York. i thought it was Punisher Noir. well, minus the vampires. let me guess: honorable vampire teams up with honorable mobster against the beasts. and i'm not even referring to the earth-bound bloodsuckers.


Wolverine: Weapon X #12 (Marvel)
Jason Aaron/Ron Garney/Jason Keith/Cory Petit
Deathloks! Old Man No Hand Logan! Buckaptain America! Butterfly Effects! wooooooooh!

Captain America/Black Panther: Flags of Our Fathers #1 (Marvel)
Reginald Hudlin/Denys Cowan/Klaus Janson/Pete Pantazis/Joe Sabino
the Hooters vs. Nazis vs. Wakandans. i meant the Howlers, dammit!!! USA! USA! USA!

Deadpool Corps #1 (Marvel)
Victor Gischler/Rob Liefeld/Adelso Corona/Matt Yackey/Clayton Cowles
i know, i know, its like the umpteenth Deadpool book in last few years. amused by the Prelude, i couldn't resist checking what trouble they'd all get into. now if they just put Humberto Ramos in here on art instead of 'Pool's co-creator ...

the real inglorious basterds

The Boys doing their version of goose-stomping on Nazi super"hero" Stormfront. wooohoooooooo!

drive-by readings: Herogasm #2

Herogasm #2 (Dynamite) "Amsterdam" Garth Ennis John McCrea Keith Burns Simon Bowland Tony Aviña Darick Robertson (cover)

we didn't learn much from this issue, except ... wait, we learned a lot from this issue, and they're all unprintable. yes, little boys, move along now, nothing to see here. don't you see the Mature Readers label? geddouddaheah.

and on that note ... we look forward to the Boys crashing the party next issue. snort up.

drive-by readings: The Boys #31

The Boys #31 (Dynamite) "The Self Preservation Society, Part 1" Garth Ennis Carlos Ezquerra Hector Ezquerra Simon Bowland Tony Aviña Darick Robertson (cover)

finally! from the opening storyline where we were introduced to the Seven (the ethically-challenged version of the JLA), i was waiting for this throwdown. in a set up that kind of echoes the death of Luca Brasi, one of the Boys get taken down. and that made me really sad. dammit, i want a lot of asskicking to happen because of this. no more name taking, Billy Butcher. by the way, Garth, nice work on retelling an alternate version of Hal Jordan's origin.

where no 15 year old geek has gone before

... Garth Ennis is taking them there, aye, as long as they even get to purchase this material.



after the tongue-in-cheek sleazy premise of the first few issues, The Boys jumped (or were pushed?) off the DC/Wildstorm wagon because of the material itself. finding a new home under Dynamite, the series continued its narrative on superhero skullduggery and political conspiracies while toning down (relatively) its graphic depictions of the crazy shit that Ennis said would "out-Preacher Preacher". if you ask me, the past year's output has been too talky for me.

now comes (pun intended) its first spinoff, Herogasm, which takes us back to those early days (in tone) of The Boys. in a nutshell, all these (damaged) superheroes (who are technically backed by the military establishment) need their R&R, and what better way to do that than cook up a fake global/planetary crisis ("alien invasion!") and heroically "leave" Earth to deal with it. actually, they just all went to some supersecret remote island, where all the best hookers in the world are waiting. and i don't just mean female hookers.

i started laughing as soon as Homelander (the Superman of this book) made his Hollywood-tailored we-who-are-about-to-die speech - i knew where this was going, and i'm surprised no one has thought of this before. all the heroes we idolize are just frauds and just as fucked-up as the rest of us. they just happen to have superpowers.

according to CBR (by way of Wikipedia), Ennis states that " ... while we're having a pop at the notion of mass crossovers within a shared universe, we're not picking on 'Crisis' or 'Secret Wars' or 'Countdown' or whatever in particular." oh yeah? i think i lost it when Homelander started mentioning "Chaocrisis" and "Covert Intrusion". "Final Fracas"? "Civil Dispute"? heee heee heee.

so where are the Boys in this version of a summer event? right smack in the middle of it, and they're not after a cape this time. oh no, they aren't ...


summer suddenly got even better!!!

-----
Herogasm #1

boys2men. (pause) not.

The Boys
Garth Ennis/Darick Robertson
DC/Wildstorm


Garth Ennis, how do i love thee? let me count the ways ...

ok, i can't count that high. but i love you, man.

coming off the heels off my faves Preacher and the Punisher, Ennis needed to get back into the superhero game (his previous DC work Hitman is on my hit list as well), but on his own terms. and this is it.

Present-day earth has been overrun by capes. by capes, we mean metahumans. by metahumans, we mean superheroes. by superheroes, we mean dudes and dudettes with extraordinary powers. and no, this is not a good thing.

just ask Wee Hughie.


a slacker and conspiracy theorist who's life is just turning the corner, the best moment he's ever had is shattered in a few seconds. a fight between a superhero and a supervillain turns ugly and Hughie's girlfriend has to be scraped from a wall. in just one page, Darick Robertson (veteran of edgy and occasionally mind-fucking fare such as Transmetropolitan) already answers the "why". this is Ennis' version of Civil War; take that, Mark Millar!

flash ... ah-hah ... he'll save everyone of us ... if he doesn't kill us first

capes have dominated the landscape, and governments reluctantly have had to clean up behind them, for the "greater good". it was inevitable that super-powered individuals would eventually let that power into their head and it shows. consider for example, the Seven, which are obviously modeled after DC's Justice League (aren't they all?). this distortion of the hero/anti-hero echoes the Authority going up against the G7 countries and their own homegrown capes (another of my favorite books, written by Millar himself).


that's where the similarities to the JLA end; the Seven are several 180 degrees from those boy scouts. their newest member, Starlight (the Green Lantern analogue), has to perform oral sex to three members for her initiation. Queen Maeve (Wonder Woman) cusses and smokes (and who knows what else). A-Train (Flash) was responsible for the death of Hughie's girl. and of course, you have the Aquaman analogue, The Deep, complaining about billing and income.

money ... money changes everything

somehow they have principles; here Homelander (Superman, who else) gives A-Train an ass kicking for an inappropriate joke. if he's that badass, i can only imagine what Black Noir (the Batman) does in his spare time.


and if you can't read who the Martian Manhunter equivalent was from the meeting pic above, he's called Jack from Jupiter (that cracked me up).

and those are the grown-ups. the young 'uns, like the ones in Teenage Kix (Teen Titans presumably), lead testosterone-filled lives in moral absentia while high on depravity. and these are the "good guys".

to see the whole story ... buy the book, dammit!

and so ... enter Billy (the) Butcher.

mandated to keep the capes in line, and having no compunction in crossing it if necessary, Billy reassembles his old team and pulls in favors from the CIA to use resources. Billy seems to be the personification of "badass", even in this world where the capes can be interchanged with villains, and despite the occasional "father figure" posing.

i mean he even sics his bulldog, Terror, on a hapless shih tzu.


but he's disciplined, and he has a plan.


although we should ask, what's in it for him? a story for another day (there's only four issues so far, dammit!).


so his second order of business (after gathering his team), is to give Teenage Kix a scare.


his army includes a Frenchman called The Frenchman, who as these two panels clearly demonstrate, is unlike any of his compatriots who rolled over for the Germans (ok, that stale joke was the cause of the severe beating these gentlemen are getting from him).


there's also a nameless girl - well, she's referred to as 'the female of the Species' and obviously is not a boy but is part of the Boys. she's mute, she prefers not to be touched, and deals brutality to rival Mafia gangs.


the hilarious scene echoes an earlier Punisher story, written by ... who else?

there's also a black dude named Mother's Milk, whom little is known about at this stage, except he's a single parent, he'd rather do community service, but according to Billy, is the engine that makes the whole thing go.

speaking of Billy again, just in case you're ready to give him a Nobel prize for trying to bring the capes in line, here's a scene for you - they might term it "being in bed with the CIA".

if you want to see the whole thing ... buy the book, dammit!


so what about Wee Hughie Campbell's role in all of these proceedings? Billy wants someone on his team who has a personal stake (albeit subtly forced by Billy) in roping in the out-of-control heroes. Hughie grudgingly agrees, even getting some kicks in functioning as the evidence-collector (basically paparazzi work). but when Billy slyly injects him with a DNA-altering serum that would allegedly enable him to go toe to toe with the super-powered loose cannons, Hughie has his doubts. it remains to be seen how this will all play out.



all i can say is, i am sure i'll be as spellbound and excited to follow this series like i did Preacher.

by the way, just for anyone who's planning to purchase a firearm, Butcher has this to say:


so either you're a wanker. or not.

i'm betting if you don't like this comic, you are a wanker. wanker.
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issues read #1-4