whatever do you mean, Mr. Parker?

oh, that a-one! probably one more reason why we love your T-Bolts run.

playing raft

drive-by readings

Thunderbolts #147 (Marvel) "Scared Straight" Jeff Parker Kev Walker Frank Martin Albert Deschesne Marko Djurdjevic (cover)

what we learned: well, well, well, i was wondering when's the first jailbreak attempt going to happen, and Parker didn't waste time. coinciding with the visit of those crazy kids from Avengers Academy, power goes down in the Raft and every jailed loco wants to take advantage. but unlike the event that spawned the New Avengers, this one has the good guys firmly in control. even "Warden Cripple" proves he's not useless when getting a few licks in.
oh shit moment: more like awesome: Luke Cage goes back and gives the Purple Man one more reminder why he should just sit in his cell like a little girl and not mess with the man called Cage.
what's next: did something happen to Crossbones? what's with Juggy's sudden sense of warped justice? and when's Fixer's gonna be outed?

well, somebody's been playing Doom since 1993.

rats in a maze

drive-by readings

Captain America #608 (Marvel) "No Escape Part 3" Ed Brubaker Butch Guice Rick Magyar/Mark Pennington Dean White/Elizabeth Dismang/Frank Martin Joe Caramagna Marko Djurdjevic (cover)

what we learned: the new Beetle gives Cap and the Black Widow a good fight, and she knows who Bucky is. even worse, his real name and his Winter Soldier past is now on Fox News.
oh shit moment: yeah, Fixer is not on the side of the angels. crap.
what's next: Zemo probably shows his ugly mug.


"okay ... okay ... you're much cuter than Steve Rogers!!"

street fighting

drive-by readings

Shadowland: Blood On The Streets #1 (Marvel) Antony Johnston Wellinton Alves Nelson Pereira Frank Martin Dave Sharpe Francisco Mattina (cover)

what we learned: the first time i saw The Shroud, he was involved in Latverian politics and Henry Kissinger. the last time i saw Paladin, he had that Spear of Odin thingy and went off his merry way after Siege. now they're both in this Shadowland spinoff moneymaker. apparently someone is offing bad guys and all signs point to Daredevil and his Hand ninjas. the Shroud and Misty Knight feel something's not right, but we don't know what Paladin's thinking. he shot Daredevil once from long range (look who can't do that!) so he might be looking for a repeat performance. i think this is all just confusion (par for the course) - they'll all team up and fight the common enemy in the end.
oh shit moment: i haven't seen Silver Sable's chest in years. oh mama.
what's next: Pig Pen, Robot Arm and the two mercs duke it all out, to provide entertainment for Lord Daredevil.


why, because she's better looking?

snaps: Thunderbolts #145

... where we find that it wasn't really Baron Zemo that showed up, it was just the Fixer. oh thank goodness! after being humiliated, the new T-Bolts go on their first mission: to find and capture some runaway Asgardian Trolls, who apparently have been spending too much time on the Internet that they're crashing forums and message boards.


yes, and those smelly geeks and nerds at comic cons too!!


how the hell can he drink and punch at the same time now?


uh oh. traitor alert!!!


imagine what would happen if Moonstone got torn in half by the Hulk!!


Juggy suddenly wanted to eat some dirt, then take a nap.


have you met the Ghost, the floating high tech garbage can?

thunderous

drive-by readings

Thunderbolts #144 (Marvel) "The Boss" Jeff Parker Kev Walker Frank Martin Albert Deschesne Marko Djurdjevic (cover)

the Heroic Age/Avengers relaunch books have been outdoing themselves in the past week. Secret Avengers #1 trumped Avengers #1, and now Thunderbolts #144, with Luke Cage leading the new team, just one-upped Secret Avengers.

Cage has been put in charge personally by Steve Rogers, of rehab/redemption of the wayward superpowered denizens of the Marvel U, and that's a tall order even if Cage has been on the wrong side of the law numerous times (technically, does that include his time with the resistance Avengers during the SHRA?). i'm pleased that ex-Thunderbolts that did display the propensity to reform (Songbird, Fixer, Mach V) are still in the mix, and i hope it stays that way. if not, you can just scrap this program.

just like the Avengers lineups, the new T-Bolts are intriguing. the choices weren't 100% Cage's choices, but then it would be great to see them all work out. especially this guy:


and this guy:


the need for a team tech still falls on the Ghost who sort of straddled the fence in Siege and now has been given another chance. the inclusion of Crossbones is a much convoluted one, as the selection committee wanted to have someone to be the polar opposite of Cage so the others would stay away from. huh? so why is he even there then? betrayal seems to be in the air down the road, especially when the Red Skull comes back (you know he always comes back).

i'm surprised no one has used the (mind-bending) Man-Thing before for teleportation purposes - Osborn didn't see the need except to chop him up for one reason or another. i guess he regenerated himself somehow (did that happen during Frankencastle?). i wonder what happens if he refuses to cooperate. "Man-Thing tired today. go use a chopper."

though am not sold of adding Moonstone (again!) with the group, especially with her new duds that confuses her with Dagger or Emma Frost, i guess they need some kind of energy wielder with some psych background. i hope they all have spinal bomb implants, because when they all decide to go rogue (even more than Sarah Palin), Cage will be in big trouble.

Jeff Parker has hit his stride with the Thunderbolts at the tail end of Dark Reign/Siege, and now he's cranked it up another notch. not only does he give a nod to Busiek/Bagley's Thunderbolts #1 with his last page reveal, his choice of characters are definitely at the least odd and at the most dangerous. the point is to put the readers on edge on every single issue and i'm looking forward to that.

snaps: Thunderbolts #143

... where we find the current iteration of T-Bolts make their final choices based on their convictions, and two of them (three, if you count the conflicted Ghost) actually help out the good guys, in a way. for one brief moment, you believe rehab will work. next up: Luke Cage.

i'm surprised Frank Simpson's not the Teabag Party mascot. yet.


Paladin's first heroic act since Avengers #271. wait - he was trying to score with Jan. dammit.


and now you're good for something, you jerk.


Pietro pwning Mr. X, while Wolverine couldn't? get out!!!


cue in the lonely Hulk music when Bill Bixby does the hitchhiking thing.

well, it wasn't Osborn but ...

Agents of Atlas 1, Thunderbolts 0.


/just so you know, that was the Headsman.
/who got it in the head.
/gotta hand it to you, Jeff Parker.

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Thunderbolts #140

snaps: Catwoman #83

... where we have the requisite Blackest Night crossover. is this a one-shot deal? the original Black Mask comes back to haunt Selina, and even with help from her little friends in Gotham City Sirens, this battle may have even more damaging consequences. man, i miss Adam Hughes covers on Catwoman (Jim Balent slowly shaking head at me).

zero points for originality, Black Mask; somebody already did that.


somebody mistakenly believed in Luke Wilson and AT&T.


really, there should be a Blackest Night video game. should be as fun as Left for Dead or Dead Rising.


awwww, look who needs more practice in Batman: Arkham Asylum.


Warrior Nun Areala, anyone?

capping the week of meltdowns

... and mailing it in with crappy Photochopping. thanks to the Holy Taco and Limewire for the inspiration. and real life for being absurd and funny.









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Thunderbolts #135, Kick-Ass #7, The Marvels Project #2, Dark Reign - The List: Avengers one shot

drive-by readings: Secret Warriors #7/Thunderbolts #135

Secret Warriors #7/Thunderbolts #135 (Marvel) "God of Fear, God of War"/"Black Widow vs. Thunderbolts" Jonathan Hickman/Andy Diggle Alessandro Vitti/Miguel Sepulveda Sunny Gho/Frank Martin Dave Lanphear/Albert Deschesne Jim Cheung/Justin Ponsor/Francisco Mattina (cover)

Marvel's improving somewhat in keeping their stories straight in recent years, and these two are a nice example of that (thank the editors). after the revelation that the Thunderbolt Black Widow Yelena Belanova was really the original, Natasha, the rest of the Thunderbolts have come after her and erstwhile T-Bolt leader Songbird. a crossover with the Secret Warriors was necessary because ol' Nick Fury himself put Natasha in that position to spy on Norman Osborn. unaware they were being trailed by the always-heinous Ant Man, Black Widow demonstrates to Songbird why the new Yankee Stadium is one overpriced magilla. too bad, Fury appears and they're all captured in one swell foop by the T-Bolts and presented to a gloating Osborn (previously hired by now-i'm-dead-now-i'm-alive Baron Strucker to kill Fury). but don't despair, True Believers! prior to this, Fury activates Agent John Garrett, and if we know Papa Nick, he's always two or three steps ahead of everyone else. even if he gets shot in the head. wait, ... what?!?

drive-by readings: Thunderbolts #134

Thunderbolts #134 (Marvel) "Songbird vs The Thunderbolts" Andy Diggle Miguel Sepulveda Frank Martin Albert Deschesne Francisco Mattina (cover)

if you think about it, the Thunderbolts concept germinated this Dark Reign thing. villains masquerading as heroes - Kurt Busiek's fantastic first issue reveal is still one of the best thing of '90s comics. things have come full circle as you got Norman Osborn's Dark Avengers enjoying the spotlight and popularity ratings, and the rest of the criminal horde do as they please in the background. it does seem quite ironic now that the original T-Bolts (less Zemo, less Moonstone, who's still on the bad side) look to be the good guys (must be all that Hawkeye training huh?). now Songbird is on the run from the psychos of the new team, but fear not, kiddies, Uncle Nicky has something up his sleeve, ain't that right, 'Tasha?

oh and maybe, its just the coloring and all - but isn't Norbert Ebersol a WHITE NERD DUDE??? so how come he's looking like a leaner Luke Cage eh?

Mary Stevenson would say ...

"OMG! my work is being used by the Devil!!!"



to the clueless, here you go.

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Dark Reign: The Hood #1

the killing time

cliffhangers of the week!

riding high on their laurels post-Secret Invasion, the T-Bolts go for a much vaunted target: Moon Knight!

ahhhhh ... screw it. like either of them is really gonna end up dead.

Moon Knight #24
Mike Benson/Mark Texeira/Javier Saltares/Dan Brown/Joe Caramagna


the fight to control Wolverine's long-lost son hurtles towards its conclusion with the kid about to throw down with his pop.


X-Men: Legacy #218
Mike Carey/Scot Eaton/Andrew Hennessy/Jason Keith/Brian Reber/Cory Petit


what? another Bullseye sighting? Norman Osborn cleans house, and sics his most ethics-challenged dogs to do it. if Bullseye doesn't get to really whack anyone next issue, that makes him only good for killing Goliath Skrulls. his stock is really plummeting like the stock market. if you want to hire a hitman, you'd be better off hiring the Punisher.


Thunderbolts #126
Andy Diggle/Roberto Dela Torre/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne