if there's something strange, up in space ...

... who you gonna call?

BALLBUSTER!!!

 sorry, Abigail Brand may be a ballbuster, but you need to call the X-Men. i just needed to make something rhyme.

after mostly ignoring Joss Whedon's later-than-never-yet-deliciously-good Astonishing X-Men run, the X-writers co-opt it well, what with the return of Kitty Pryde (thank you, Magneto), and now an angle of what happened in Breakworld post-arm-breaking by Colossus. maybe there will be a resolution to Kitty's permanent phasing too?

Kieron Gillen, whose brief Thor run i did enjoy immensely, is off to good start.

-----
Uncanny X-Men #535

frosty secrets

drive-by readings

Uncanny X-Men #527 (Marvel) "The Five Lights Part Two: Velocidad" Matt Fraction Whilce Portacio Leonard Kirk Ed Tadeo Jay Leisten Brian Reber Joe Caramagna Terry Dodson/Rachel Dodson (cover)

what we learned: a breather issue, as Emma goes on a couple of dates, acts as go-between between Piotr and Kitty, and visits her secret prisoner, Namor has a human sushi chef, Scott knocks back a couple with Logan, the second Light is found (and his name isn't Barry Allen), and oh, welcome back to full-time X-Men adventuring, Cecilia Reyes.
oh shit moment: second Light looks like Michael J. Fox circa Teen Wolf, after a long run (so that's how werewolves got hairy!).
what's next: third Light?


you. kiss. my. phased. ass.

seeds of hope

drive-by readings

Uncanny X-Men #526 (Marvel) "The Five Lights Part One: Freak Like Me"/"Rebuilding" Matt Fraction Allan Heinberg Whilce Portacio Olivier Coipel Ed Tadeo Mark Morales Brian Reber Justin Ponsor Joe Caramagna Terry Dodson/Rachel Dodson (cover)

what we learned: Hope finds her family (or the backstory of it anyway) in Alaska, and its good enough to trust her new one going forward. What happens when Bishop comes back? also, grandpa Magneto learns of his possible grandkids Wiccan and Speed (in a prequel to Avengers: The Children's Crusade), but Wolverine warns him off. and nothing happens. ah, those halcyon days of 1993.
oh shit moment: apparently, there is hope of Kitty Pryde, whose diagnosis seems to be, she just forgot how to unphase. hey, Hank, care to come back for a second opinion?
what's next: this issue, Emma goes out to meet Tony Stark. next up, she's going for some raw sushi.


wait ... what? after all that shepherding and leading and banging one of the hottest chicks in the world, he's still an emotional cripple?

full circle, part 1

drive-by readings

Second Coming #2 (Marvel) Zeb Wells Ibraim Roberson Matt Milla Mike Carey Esad Ribic Matt Wilson Craig Kyle Christopher Yost Greg Land Jay Leisten Frank Martin Matt Fraction Terry Dodson Rachel Dodson Brad Anderson Joe Caramagna Clayton Cowles Joe Sabino Adi Granov (cover) David Finch/Matt Banning/Peter Steigerwald (variant cover)

so this is the end of the one of the more exciting X-Crossovers in recent years (i'm still partial to Messiah Complex). Hope's initial worth was a few limbs, and the lives of Kurt and oh yeah ... that guy on the cover above. if you didn't see that coming ... well, i guess some of us didn't, despite the obvious buzz on Nightcrawler's death. hey, if you Google "cable is dead", all the top hits are about the ex-Stereophonics drummer Stuart Cable. no respect for you, Nathan.

the final story is divided into four chapters, and the first one is easily the most interesting. there's Peter getting his broken arm reset (25000 PSI!). there's Magneto showing flashes of his old self (quite characteristic actually). and there's that poignant shot of Hope holding her known father figure's arm (all that remained of him). i can't believe they're getting rid of Cable this easily. then again, this is comics. he'll probably come back as a baby as well.

if i have a beef with the first chapter, its this:


we know Karma lost her leg several issues ago. either they created costumes (unstable molecules!) for her that really ends high up that leg, or she never changed clothes since.

chapter 2 has a flashback with Hope and Cable, and kind of confirms in a way that he may not be gone forever. erstwhile best pal Deadpool shows up at his funeral (and the 3rd chapter will show why). Magneto is there of course, full costume and all, and its ironic, for someone who remembers the '90s.

in chapter 3, we have a philosophical argument between Storm and Wolverine about X-Force, and they agree to disagree. Logan disbands the rest of the team, and reports back to Cyclops of the dissolution. Scott heroically confirms that he'll do it all over again, and is even willing to go to jail if the oh-so-heroic Avengers ever learn about their activities and attempt to arrest him. despite their differences over the years (not the least of which was fighting over a certain redhead), Scott and Logan are the perfect foils to each other and work well as anyone. that relationship is going to be strained when Scott learns about this:


is Warren holding a gun? Psylocke too? and why are they all facing us? was there a presscon and they need to pose, a la Dark Avengers? are they LMDs? Deadpool finally gets to be a full time member of an X-team. sort of. by the way, is Logan required to change costumes when doing X-Force meetings?

so, Uncanny X-Force it is.

two things on the last chapter: Emma gets the bejeezus scared out of there because of some connection between Jean Grey/Phoenix and Hope (redheads just won't die), and Namor getting to be more and more of a team player (a gruff one at that, and he can't shoot the rock a lick). the co-opting of Magneto and Namor under the X-banner is one of the most welcome events in X-Men history. like i keep repeating on this blog, do not turn back the clock and make them villains again.

naughty Namor, the first mutant casanova

first Sue, then Emma (retcon included).

watch out, T'Challa, Steve, Bucky, Clint and maybe Thor (is Sif still a player, or is that Jane Foster?). oh hey, Medusa's available, right??

if all of these happen, its gonna be Acts of Vengeance II: Kill Namor.

snaps: X-Men #520

... where three non-American X-Men are sent to New York to watch Mamma Mia or The Loki Puppet Show on Broadway, and track those nanites sent via Predator X-press - it's those bunch of superpowered X-Men wannabes introduced back in issue five hundred-whatever. also, Magneto tries to make himself useful by propping up the sinking Utopia, but is rebuffed by Cyclops. consequently, he goes off to either find his center or go back to being a goddamned supervillain. i hope its the former, because i'm goddamned sick of the 'X-Men vs Magneto' cliche.

it's 2010 and they're still using the Blackbird like its 1999. ohh, they call it X-Jet now?


big talk, fish man. you like attending meetings when you can huff and puff (see Illuminati, Cabal).


Logan, you're all rich ... pay the frog! or promise him some escargot!


the X-Men are back in New York and no one raises a fuss? not even one calls H.A.M.M.E.R.?


hey, are you really Prometheus?


Fantomex casually regale strangers of his adventures. in a diner.


not after killing his wife, you don't. oh wait, that wasn't you?! well, why dintcha say so?! c'mere, big guy. bring it in! group hug, everybody!!

snaps: Uncanny X-Men #518

... where another psychic surgery session takes place (happens less these days only because Jean Grey's not around anymore - maybe), Magneto goes retro-'80s and makes himself useful (maybe), and Hank McCoy goes emo on us. Hank McCoy!

1) the day it's the happy-go-lucky Bobby Drake dispensing this kind of advice - to Hank, no less - is the day that you know you should stop yearning for Danger Rooms and stupid villains. wait, who's yearning?


2) and Hank tries to deflect and parry, but he's dating an alien ... ok, half-alien.


3) he's a lover, not a fighter. one of Scott's fantasies just came true.


4) Betsy: "my past history with Scott notwithstanding, Professor - don't look at me, i didn't do anyth - oh, you weren't referring to that ..."


5) oh, am sure he had no problems "blasting Emma in the face", if you know what i mean. and i'm not talking about his optic beams either. (hey, kid, stop reading this and go to Disney.com or something.)


6) well, we'll just have Logan cut off your head right here and now then. huh? what do you mean he's on Avengers business? get him here right now before Mags goes nuts again!!!

Magneto wants the copyright

drive-by readings

Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Exodus #1 (Marvel) Matt Fraction Mike Deodato Terry Dodson Rachel Dodson Justin Ponsor Christina Strain Joe Caramagna Simone Bianchi (alternate cover)

ripping Magneto off kind of makes Scott Summers a sneaky tactical bastard in the vein of his mentor Charles Xavier (whom he has reduced respect for, these days) - raising Asteroid M and rechristening it as Utopia would make Mags snort and sneer about Scott's unoriginality. but who cares right? it's all part of a bigger plan, which apparently includes getting beaten up by Norman Osborn (you know Emma finds those bruises sexy). and was it really that easy to beat the Sentry and Ares? if so, why didn't they all do this a long time ago? sigh. anyhoo, i'm intrigued as to what Magneto thinks of all of these, as he was last seen chilling out with the High Evolutionary, getting his powers back. also, wouldn't it be easy to just nuke the island now (hello, Cassandra Nova) and wipe out everyone with in one swoop? hey, don't give Norman any more ideas! plus we have that Selene boobage Necrosha thing to deal with too!

drive-by readings: Uncanny X-Men #513

Uncanny X-Men #513 (Marvel) "Utopia Chapter Two" Matt Fraction Terry Dodson Rachel Dodson Justin Ponsor Joe Caramagna Simone Bianchi (variant cover)

since when did Cyclops become Daredevil? and when did Adam X become a white trash skateboard punk? more questions than answers abound in the new Dark Avengers/X-Men Utopia storyline. what's Emma Frost's (now wearing a black coat, how stylish) endgame? i'm only slightly surprised the Dark Beast is on Norman Osborn's side of the conflict, and the longer you leave that doppelganger alive, the more he's bound to create more mischief. having more characters crossing the line is a lot more detrimental to my sanity than having Skrulls impersonate everybody else (hello, Mystique). look, even Mimic is here. Namor is hanging around because he knocked boots with Emma back in the day and they have dealings we aren't privy much to yet. Tony, come back!!! oh, that's right, they drove him out of town. Steve, come back!!!

golden fate

good news: someone had the guts to finally move our merry band of mutants out of New York.

bad news: their new city is just as expensive.

welcome to the City by the Bay, X-Men.

hotshot writers Ed Brubaker (Captain America, Criminal, Daredevil, Sleeper) and Matt Fraction (Iron Fist, Invincible Iron Man, Punisher War Journal) kick their X-Men project into high gear with "Manifest Destiny", essentially a reboot of the franchise, a major component of which is the relocation to the Left Coast. it is, in their words, their campaign to wrest control of the Marvel Universe from the sexy hands of Brian Michael Bendis, who is still in the driver's seat because of his scintillating 5-year setup into Secret Invasion.

the X-Men, being a long-running major title, needs a reboot just like any computer. following events of Decimation and Messiah Complex, New York has just been too harsh to the mutants. finally proving himself worthy of his years of experience, Cyclops breaks the shackles of uncertainty and leads the X-Men out of the immense shadow cast by mentor Professor Charles Xavier by starting afresh in San Francisco. this is like me jettisoning Winblows out of my PC and replacing it with Linux.

look, i don't even recognize Scotty anymore.

long-hair? smiles? wow, you've come a long way, baby.

if you need further proof:

we never saw him as confident in leading a team and knowing he's banging the babe, as he is right now. for that i thank Joss Whedon (Astonishing X-Men) and the current writing team, who's been building the storylines to this moment.

of course, every "first" issue of an X-Men reboot needs an appearance by their longtime nemesis. in this case, they had more than one.

they celebrate their relocation by "innocently" crashing a performance art event in downtown Frisco celebrating "mutant kitsch" with three decommissioned Sentinels as props. since it comes with the territory, you can dress any way you want and no one cares. and the X-Men like it like that.

trouble is, with Magneto making an appearance (who somehow repowered himself, and manages to control the Sentinels to attack them), their cachet with the local city fathers might dwindle way too soon. speaking of the Magster:

he's still with this savior thing? isn't he so 1991?

anyway, it turns out he had technology which mimicked his powers, provided by the always-enigmatic High Evolutionary. there's this big robot (bigger than the Sentinels) called the Dreaming Celestial (leftover from events in Neil Gaiman's Eternals mini-series) standing just outside San Francisco, and Magneto provided the distraction so the High Evolutionary could obtain something from it. to what end is yet to be told.

flush with cash thanks to Warren Worthington III (a.k.a. Angel) - who must be secretly doing DoD and NASA contracts to be this mega-rich, rivaling only Tony Stark - the X-Men build a new spanking HQ, excuse me, a "mutant community center" out of abandoned underground military bases. even with the lack of Sh'iar technology, the X-Men still get their creature comforts. smug with his new toys, Cyclops then proceeds to paint a target on their backs.

you see that smile on Emma's face? it just smacks of "you never had it this good, Jean Grey, and he's mine now!"

speaking of Jean Grey, despite San Francisco's tolerance for the absurd, there are still those who think backwards. a new member, Pixie, gets beaten up by a group calling themselves the Hellfire Cult, and barely escapes with her life.

* just to note: that seems to be a Rogue sighting. i thought she was backpacking in Australia.

the Hellfire Cult are just a bunch of homo sapiens, who get their kicks beating up defenseless mutants and sympathizers (same shit, different city). what's surprising is their leader - or rather, their instigator, is quite a familiar face (and one i never liked, even back in his Hellion days).

and a much bigger surprise is sprung when Manny is revealed to be a BDSM puppet who likes being worked over by someone called the ...

oooooohhhh ... if that's some kind of Jean clone, i smell catfight!

with most of the characters tagging along with their fearless leader, i hope there'll be better coordination with the other titles:

- X-Men, now X-Men: Legacy, where Professor X just manages to prevent a Sinister takeover of his body and mind (with some assistance from Gambit and Sebastian Shaw); he has things to tell Scott, and i can't wait for the upcoming confrontation ("what the hell did you do to my school??").

- X-Factor: with the team moving to Detroit (?) and putting down roots for their investigative agency, i don't expect much interaction between Jamie's group and Scott, given Jamie's independent outlook. but he's going to be a daddy soon, so i expect Siryn to be walk out that door and take shelter in San Francisco. plus will Layla be trapped in the future forever?

- Astonishing X-Men: the lateness of this title in its first two years caused the events depicted in it to be ignored largely in the mainstream Marvel Universe. with new writer Warren Ellis drawing the road map, it could be more of the same but at least the characters were closely coordinated with what Brubaker and Fraction are doing.

- Cable: still has the baby, with Bishop still out there. when Nate returns, there'll be a crib waiting (assuming Scott gets through the Ikea instructions).

- X-Force: seems to be loose term now, referring to the ad-hoc team led by Wolverine for black ops missions.

the New X-Men are presumably going to be herded back into the fold. there are future developments pending for Forge, Magik, Hellion, that nano-Sentinel that nearly killed them. but the biggest may be the resolution of the issue of that renegade Summers brother that now owns the Sh'iar empire (and holds Alex, Lorna and the other Starjammers captive). will this be major component of next summer's War of Kings storyline? also two words: Kitty and Pryde.

Uncanny X-Men #500 of course, has a bunch of covers, but i still like the Greg Land one slightly over the Dodsons' all-female variant and the Alex Ross and Michael Turner versions (seems like a re-used cover as all characters are still stuck in their '90s rags).

Greg Land in particular, has broken out in a big way, after his stint in Supreme Power, providing gorgeous interiors to complement his already-impressive covers. i expect him to be in this book for awhile, though just like John Cassaday, Bryan Hitch and others who take a lot of time in drawing, i also expect delays. plus, Land has his stumbling blocks when rushing, just like this:

if Land can do interiors, how much money would it take for Greg Horn to do the same? paging the Marvel powers that be.

though they have written moments where they tip their hats to the past, Messrs Brubaker and Fraction have made it clear this is the first step towards the next 500 issues. i'm all aboard on this trip.

-----
Uncanny X-Men #500-501
Ed Brubaker/Matt Fraction/Greg Land/Terry Dodson/Jay Leisten/Rachel Dodson/Justin Ponsor/Joe Caramagna

you hit like a girl! #9

Wonder Woman hits harder than guys hitting on her.











and even if they just look like a guy.

running with the Devil

"Trial of the Century"
v2, #38-40
Brian Michael Bendis/Manuel Gutierrez/Terry Dodson/Rachel Dodson

with the pressure of being outed hanging on his shoulders, Matt Murdock tries to live a normal life, but the average superhero life will always suck him back in. its probably easier if he was just a bum or a coffeeshop barista, but he's one of the best lawyers in New Yawk.

after getting sued previously and winning the ensuing much-publicized case by mistrial, you'd think his phone wouldn't stop ringing:

"hello, Matthew, its Stephen ..."
"hey, Doc, what can I do for you?"
"well, Dormammu and I had an argument, and we managed to wreck the apartment next door ..."

"hey, Murdock, its Ben ... what does a civil tort mean? this guy's suing me for slamming into his car. i mean, he should sue Dragon Man! can we sue Dragon Man?"

"hi, Mr. Murdock ... its uhmm ... my name is Robbie Baldwin ... Speedball to some, heh. ahh, we were shooting for our TV show, and we ... ummm ... we kinda blew up a school."

well, this time, its that allegedly-retired Bronx superhero, H-Ay (Hector Ayala, a.k.a. the White Tiger), who's had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time (well, he was trying to prevent a robbery!). Latino, dead cop on floor, TV in hands ... nu-uh. you're on Page 1. they don't care if you're wearing a costume.

"and this was not even an HDTV! caramba!"

this should actually the stuff that Matt should be doing (but i guess Foggy would raise a stink); he's been beaten in that area by the resident slut, Jennifer Walters (She-Hulk). but kudos to Bendis for getting DD involved more in the dynamics of superhero vis-a-vis the common joe.

not to say he didn't have his objections to taking the case:

but his pals Luke Cage and Danny Rand (Heroes for Hire) push him to take it, despite Foggy's best resistance. since his own nature prevents it, Matt takes pity at an innocent man and accepts the seemingly open-and-shut case. the judge, on the other hand, has no patience for circus trials.

Matt's opponent on the prosecution is Al Roker. seriously. Atty. Delacourt looks like Al Roker on 'roid rage and plays a Heel manager in the WWE (remember Paul Bearer? Delacourt is kinda like that.). Bendis probably has an issue with the Today Show weatherman and voracious cake eater.

throughout the course of the trial, we see how doggedly determined Delacourt can be (as well as salivary gland-challenged). well, he's going up against Murdock - betcha he already envisioned Matt's scalp on the wall in his office.

in one brief moment, i even thought Matt was gonna toss his billy club at Delacourt's fat smug face. was he wearing the thights then? what happens when someone like Bullseye smashes through the windows?

Al Roker has too much sugar

but back to the case: aside from being caught by the cops at the scene of the crime, Ayala can be blamed somewhat for putting himself in that position because he took up the costume again against his wife's wishes, and he already was on shaky ground with his marriage. on the plus side, he has no prints on the gun nor powder burns on him, and he has a hero rep in the barrio (kinda like this guy). Matt debunks every theory the prosecution has, like activating the gun telekinetically, as well as getting support from the superhero community (those with publicly-known identities at least) to stand as witnesses.

but then Delacourt harangues Ayala when he is put on the stand and he loses it. and despite Matt's best closing argument, Delacourt's seems to resonate better with the jury (a few whom slipped through Matt's lie-detecting radar), and provides a whiff of the public mood for the future Civil War. sneaky, sneaky, Bendis.

and the poop hits the windmill as the jury decides Ayala is guilty. Ayala goes berserk and fights the bailiffs. once he gets his hands on a gun, you really know this is not gonna end well at all.

in effect, this is not one of Matt Murdock's finest moments. we should blame Luke and Danny for this.

Matt tries to make amends (making him put on the costume) by locating the perp (one of two, because the second one allegedly OD'ed). and forces him to do the right thing. we don't see what the after-effects are (yet), but i sure hope that slightly removed the tarnish on Matt's rep.

not for casual DD fans (yes, you, the ones who watched the Daredevil movie because of the hype). i like the way Bendis was building up his own DD rep. i normally like the Dodsons, but somehow this issue was lacking. but then Alex Maleev's art might not be the right fit here either.