tripping the force magnetic pt. 1

back in the '90s, i latched back into comics even though i didn't have the cash to get really serious about it. i think it was because my college years were a kind of sabbatical, thus i missed a lot of stuff. (Robin died! or maybe not.) but i guess the itch came back, everyone's favorite merry band of mutants were on animated form, and the rest is history.

missing out on reformation/splitting of the X-teams (Jim Lee crafting his legend, Chris Claremont bidding adieu), i landed right in the middle of the Fabian Nicieza/Scott Lobdell run, and the return of Magneto. say what you will about '90s comics then, but the X-crossovers, convoluted as they may be (thank you, Bob Harras), were major events not to be missed. in fact, the rest of the year became filler or stage setups for next summer (which has been more or less rectified these days, no?).

after Magneto's much-hyped demise in the first story arc of the adjectiveless X-Men, we learn that he's not really dead (ho-hum) and is back with a bigger bunch of losers called the Acolytes. the biggest loser of them all, the tastefully-named Fabian Cortez (sorry, Mr. Easterbrook), actually had the cojones to usurp Magneto's position and cause, and its just a matter of time before he gets found out. but in the meantime, he goes about his business, acting all high and mighty, ordering the other Acolytes about, and generally making a nuisance of himself.

Fatal Attractions
X-Factor #92 "The Man Who Wasn't There"
Scott Lobdell/Joe Quesada/J.M. DeMatteis/Al Milgrom

boasting a superb wraparound cover by current Marvel EEK Joe Q, with the requisite gimmicky enhanced hologram, #92 ushered the end of the first Peter David era (awwwww), and the start of the DeMatteis run. Quesada's trademark flowing/suspended hair and tiptoe stance is in full force here. but you can't deny the man can draw. if only he did a lot more of that these days.

the story opens with a nurse narrating how the Acolytes hack and slashed their way through an ER (ummmm ... because they didn't treat a mutant?) and poignantly asking how could Magneto inspire such passionate murderers. Quicksilver (Pietro Maximoff to you non-existent Transians) in his most serious good guy role in years (he's obviously back to being a jerk these days), has no answer himself. its obvious that he's torn with the burden of his pop's legacy on his shoulders and his own individual pursuits of power. but he doesn't shy away from being worshiped by his pop's followers.

the Acolytes have mostly a flair for the dramatic, which is obvious when they discuss things among themselves or burst through a wall ala Kool Aid guy. they probably have degrees from this prestigious institution and extensive training with this company. when it comes to brawling though, they're still in kindergarten.

Cortez wants to raise his profile, natch, which is why he wants to make a statement by randomly killing flatscans (that's "non-mutant humans" for you, human), and striking a blow for the mutant revolution. target: a seemingly-abandoned military base. but its just a setup so he can convince Pietro to join him.

X-Factor shouldn't even be there, if Havok didn't follow his instincts and trail their guvmint liaison Val Cooper and Pietro to Camp Hayden. and when they find out that the base harbors a bunch of Sentinels for the much-whispered Project: Wideawake (another black ops mandate to wipe out illegal immigration, but the text was changed to read "mutants"), and the Acolytes start their Kool Aid thing, all hell breaks loose. Despite Chris Claremont's departure from writing the X-books, his influence is so prevalent that profuse verbal jousting is second nature to two super-powered combatants exchanging punches and kicks.

but there are some good fight scenes here - despite the inclusion of annoying bounty hunter Random, he gives the team some badass presence (sorry, Guido, you're strong, but you're a strong clown). but speaking of badass, who would have thought resident jokester Jamie Madrox (the Multiple Man, leader of the team's 2007 incarnation), could fight dirty? classic.

the fight ends more in X-Factor's favor, as Pietro spurns Cortez's offer, and the Acolytes' Mellencamp bites the dust. rumor has it that this character was originally the American country /pop sensation, until he devolved into a lizard-like beast. hating the fact that he can't perform in public anymore, he joined the Acolytes. there is no explanation as to who is this doppelganger who assumed the mantle and created that annoying song for weekend football, shilling for Chevy.

more revelations are in order as the team learns their high and mighty connection to Uncle Sam, Val Cooper, has known about Project: Wideawake all along. but i'm more interested in their choice of hair products; look at Pietro's hair - it makes Superman's spit curl look so dated.

and thus they exit stage a la-Reservoir Dogs set to Kill Bill music. you know how that goes.


X-Force #25 "Back to Front"
Fabian Nicieza/Greg Capullo/and around 198 inkers

the New Mutants became a misnomer after issue #100, because you can't have almost the same cast of characters for that long and still be called "new". enter the craptacular 4 million-issue -selling force known as Rob Liefeld, and comics will never be the same again (actually, it did - remember his return a couple of years ago? you don't. i don't either.). X-Force became the poster kids for running away from home and doing it their way.

in the aftermath of Liefeld's acrimonious departure from Marvel, Fabian Nicieza took the reins and had a somewhat passable run. in their contribution to this crossover, a new Magneto disciple, Exodus (did they even have a character named Excrement? no? why not?), extends another invitation to Xavier's second generation to join Magneto in a place called Heaven. who is this crackhead and why are they even listening to him? wait ... wasn't Fabian (Cortez, not Nicieza) the salesman doing the rounds? what's going on? ahh, the magic of disjointed storytelling, which we will honor by explaining everything in the next post. if ever.

let's backtrack a bit. fleeing Xavier's coop, this particular generation of mutants had other teachers, notably the villain of this piece, and the gun-toting time traveler Cable (ah, but it turns out he's so much more). Cable appeared from the future to lead this ragtag group of tweenies and then disappeared from this era in pursuit of his clone Stryfe (ah yes, Marvel's stupid fascination with clones and dark halves), who attempted to assassinate Charley (to those who are familiar, that was the previous year's crossover). and now he's back in our timeline. that's why they shout for joy, sing his praises, lift their voice, unto the ... ok forget it.

i mean, look at how they express their happiness with Cable's return.


ah, families.

we also see genuine warmth from others who share Cable's vision of "shoot first, shoot again, shoot later".

but then, everybody brings out the tissues when Samuel Guthrie (a.k.a. like a "Cannonball"), de facto leader of the group (when the teacher isn't around), goes all weepy in having his nth foster father realize that there is so much more to them than soldiers waging war (i guess punching Cable brought him to his senses). this also means someone will be telling him stories at bedtime, instead of doing it for the other babies in this dysfunctional family.

of course, family reunions don't last too long, as this cunejo named Exodus shows up, ostensibly to hand out invitations in the name of Magnus ("harbinger of the magnetic storm" ... all of Magneto's salesmen have great language skills but just average selling skills).

among the few invitees are Sam and Roberto "Look at Me Wrong and I'll Kill You" DaCosta. as to how the hell Exodus transported them up there to 'Heaven', you tell me. before leaving though, Sam surreptitiously gives Cable a tracer to track him (Sam), an action with which his mentor is visibly pleased. wait, if you want somebody to track you, shouldn't they plant a tracer on you?

so Cable and the others follow, and Cable throws a hissy fit when he finds out that 'Heaven' is actually his space station (with an electronic butler/friend named "Professor", no less), appropriated by Magneto. this gives him more motivation to kick some doors down, and shoot first, shoot again, and shoot later.

of course, Sam the Centrist talks him down from the ledge. regardless, Cable activates his teleport tech ("bodyslide") and moves his students back to Earth. that done, it's ... CableTime!!

that pose above is the result of Magneto finally showing his purple- and red-clad musclebound 50 year old bod ... see how Cable gets excited?

of course, that excitement kind of dulls the intelligent brain cells, as he conveniently forgets that he, a partial cyborg, has no business going up against somebody who can control magnetic forces.


Magneto may be correct in pointing out later that Cable won the philosophical battle, depriving him of the chance to get Sam and the others on his side, but Cable surely lost the physical one, getting reduced to spare parts (rehab was gonna be a bitch).

next: bring on the real X-Men!