because Batman Inc would sue you, duh.

"I was gonna say 'BatMite', dude!"

the bitches of vegas

drive-by readings

Zatanna #4 (DC) "Playing With Fire" Paul Dini Chad Hardin Wayne Faucher Pat Brosseau John Kalisz/Lovern Kindzierski Stephane Roux (cover) Brian Bolland (variant cover)

what we learned: Zee, aside from being a Vegas showgirl, has to do part-time asskicking of troublemakers like the Royal Flush Gang (these mooks have no other M.O. except rob casinos? why not hit the Indian ones? there are no superheroes there!). problem is her current (flirty) employer looks like a dealmaker with the devil Mammon, and looks younger than he really is. Mammon meanwhile, is in the habit of employing red-hot witches masquerading as 90-year old bitches.
oh shit moment: its 2010 and Zatanna still has no defense against mouth attacks, and she can't make a spell without talking?
what's next: Zee needs a healing factor. pronto.


i've burned my tongue before but this is ridiculous.

this never happens to Cory Petit!

someday you'll find it, the rainbow CONNETION ... (Batman: Streets of Gotham #8)



DC's been really notorious lately on typos.


/full disclosure: Mike Marts, Editor; Janelle Siegel, Asst. Editor

snaps: Batman - Streets of Gotham #6

of bats and sluts and invisible men, and false gods, and faith. Chris Yost makes the most of his guest stint.

1) yes, just like his rodent avatar, Batman crashes thru windows upside down. wait, what-?


2) Helena Bertinelli is still hotbloodedheaded in 2009.


3) what i said. slut.


4) when you invent something of military value, either the government misuse it or the real bad guys take it from you.


5) first time i've seen a priest have balls since Jesse Custer.



wait, he called you a slut, Helena! are you gonna let him get away with that??

drive-by readings: Batman: Streets of Gotham #3

Batman: Streets of Gotham #3 (DC) "Hush Money" / "Under My Skin" Paul Dini Dustin Nguyen Derek Fridolfs John Kalisz Steve Wands Marc Andreyko Georges Jeanty Karl Story Jack Purcell Nick Filardi Sal Cipriano

Victor Zsasz, in Paul Dini's more than capable hands, is currently replacing the Joker as the preeminent scariest Gotham psycho. and with the Black Mask positioning him to be the Man, well ... the Joker better get back to killin'. on a much tamer level, but no less to be wary of, is ex-BFF Thomas 'Hush' Elliot doing his Bruce Wayne shtick, prompting the new Dynamic Duo to put roadblocks along the way so he doesn't squander the family wealth. i dunno. i'm with Damian on this one - give him a good beating, then knife him in the back and dump him in the sewer. the bad guys keep getting chances. speaking of Damian - "he hearts Katanaaaaa". thanks to Grant Morrison, this post-Wayne's world might turn out to be interesting after all.

and still not biting on the Manhunter backup story.

drive-by readings: The Mighty #6

The Mighty #6 (DC) "Blue Moon" Peter Tomasi Keith Champagne Chris Samnee Rob Leigh John Kalisz Dave Johnson (cover)

i admit, i am torn between The Mighty and Mark Waid's Irredeemable. the two are fairly similar, but diverges slightly in execution, as the latter explores the conditions that drive a beloved superhero to evil, while in the former, the protagonist/antagonist Alpha One has dark secrets that the other protagonist Gabriel Cole has to unravel. in this issue, Cole finally realizes what the vagrant Taylor Rhines, ex-Section Omega, was trying to tell him. we all know Alpha One killed him, and its up to Cole to (prove it and) find out why. his closeness and friendship with Alpha One is a big problem, but it seems like Alpha One doesn't trust him anymore anyway. the tension is building, and this may not be a big DCU title, but its worth checking out.

drive-by readings: Batman: Streets of Gotham #1

Batman: Streets of Gotham #1 (DC) "Ignition" / "Strange Bedfellows" Paul Dini Dustin Nguyen Derek Fridolfs John Kalisz Steve Wands Marc Andreyko Georges Jeanty Karl Story Nick Filardi Sal Cipriano

Paul Dini re-teams with his ex-Detective Comics cohorts Dustin Nguyen and Derek Fridolfs on Streets of Gotham, which seems to be more from supporting characters' POV. with the new Batman and Robin still gaining traction, Gotham City seems to be always in freefall but never completely flatlining. and why bother with the city really? does it have overflowing coffers of gold that everyone wants a piece of it? i'm sure Gotham qualifies as one of the cities with the highest crime rates (and that was with Batman). with such a rosy outlook, one would pull up stakes and move elsewhere. its a miracle people still live in a place where you could get bombed by the Joker or get ripped in half by Killer Croc any given moment.

so for this moment, we have B-lister Firefly setting everyone afire because, hey that's what he does. so Gotham's burning again. Commish Gordon keeps a steely silence in the face of it all, and just keeps doing his job (how old is he? 73?). with the narration flowing smoothly between heroes, villains and victims, Dini keeps us engaged, and eagerly awaiting the next issue. didn't care much for the Manhunter backup story though.

by the way, this is only one of two new Batman series being written by Dini. the other one is called Gotham City Sirens, which features more Guillem March. hubba-hubba.