semi-kind of victory

drive-by readings

Thor #614 (Marvel) "The Fine Print Part 4" Kieron Gillen Doug Braithwaite John Rauch Andy Troy June Chung Joe Sabino Mico Suayan/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: Loki's treachery is revealed! Thor realizes the breadth and width of his half-brother's machinations, and with Loki not in Hel's books, he'll have a devil of a time putting him down next time. well, no one's going to learn from this anyway. soon, they'll be back welcoming him with open arms and mugfuls of mead.
oh shit moment: Thor stabbing Kelda (relax, its because Loki put malware in her to break the Asgardians' morale and as an added bonus, assassinate Balder). also when Thor gets the Eir-Gram free and cuts down the Disir - that's mythic.
what's next: get ready for more action, 'cause here comes Matt Fraction!


sometimes, just sometimes, you still need violence against women.

the machinist

drive-by readings

Steve Rogers: Super Soldier #2 (Marvel) Ed Brubaker Dale Eaglesham Andy Troy Joe Caramagna Carlos Pacheco/Tim Townsend/Frank D'Armata (cover)

what we learned: Ed Brubaker doesn't waste any time in revealing who the big bad villain is. after another Erskine bites the dust because Rogers can't save any of 'em, he does the patented Daredevil schtick and beats up half of Madripoor including the ice cream cart guy, and gets zilch. he starts following the late Erskine's wife, who's a doppelganger for a previous love interest (Steve Rogers, Ladies Man). but of course, that's just to prick his all-American heart.
oh shit moment: anybody remember the beach scene from the Madbomb storyline?
what's next: Steve Rogers, Super Sissy!


his safehouse has HDTV? holy crap! i gotta break into one of those!

the devilish details

drive-by readings

Thor #612 (Marvel) "The Fine Print Part 2" Kieron Gillen Doug Braithwaite John Rauch Andy Troy Joe Sabino Mico Suayan/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: Thor and Tyr descend into Hela's (rented) realm to find out that they would need the Eir-Gram blade to control the Disir, and the blade has been placed in Mephisto's Hell. someone has to get it, and Tyr's not feeling up to the task (unmanly!). so, looks like Odin's favorite son is coming for the pickup.
oh shit moment: face-off between Thor and Mephisto. Thor just playing the grim-lipped god and holding back his anger. priceless.
what's next: will Thor ever know of Loki's deal with Mephisto? i want the Thunder God to beat it out of the devil.


"a simple request, Asgardian ... free tickets to your movie next year?"

snikts: Dark Wolverine #86 & Wolverine: Origins #48

... where we're kinda sick of all the posturing, ADD-addled, obsessive-compulsive behavior being exhibited by Logan and his extended family. i mean, fine, you all hate each other, just kill the guy next to you and be done with it!!! geez.



y'all have claws. y'all don't know what to do with them.


man, this thing is so gay its not happy anymore.


oh, look, who's upset because Crystal Bowersox didn't win this season's American Idol:


and he has more spit than the winner!!!


and when he asks his father why the most talented people don't win:



now back to Logan; it took you this long to do this???


oh, wait, that was just what Logan wanted to do! what he actually does is imprison Romulus in the Darkforce Dimension inside Cloak. ooooooo-kay. but it took you this long to do that too??

by the way, if its dark in there, how come there's light?


oh, look we got a cutter!!



huh. look, Tyrone's the voice of reason. by the way, dude? you're responsible for the X-Men being trapped in Utopia. if you didn't leave, THEY. STILL. WOULD. HAVE. A. GODDAMNED. TELEPORTER. selfish prick.

snaps: Wolverine Origins #44

... where a title like Wolverine Origins get increasingly set in the present, and nothing much about his origins really have come much into fore since Daken and the idiotic Romulus. speaking of Romulus, he's up for lamest villain ever for being a huge drama queen. instead of Logan kicking better ass, he's resorted to recruiting big petulant green aliens for allies and jailbreaking a chick mis-named after a restauant chain, with a snow globe for a head.

who-hoah! hold yer horses right there, pardner! there was a fight but i wouldn't call it "epic".


no, you don't. bet you don't have Jean Grey's number.


let me get this straight: with the superpower-dampeners in effect, shouldn't Logan be screaming in pain right now because his healing factor's not working? or are mutant powers excluded?


the prospect of gay sex stunned the ultra macho Wolverine into a few moments of silence.


that would be like kissing a fishbowl. and no, Dagger is cooking pot roast tonight.


let me ask you some: you had Wolverine dead to rights, you coulda killed him, then you leave but go back to stalking him. you are the worst kind of obsessive fan, Romulus. Glenn Close had nothing on you.

snaps: New Avengers Annual #3

... where the Epic Failure Known As Clint Barton is rescued by a bunch of chicks (the return of Jessica Jones to superheroing!). also, Norman Osborn needs to change the locks of his house now that the Red Skull is back. sorry, did i say Red Skull? i meant Steve Rogers. or whoever is inside that blue-eyed, blonde, all-American hunky body.

1) yes, make jokes. we need to change your codename to Fail.


2) also, do they really have the real Hawkeye in custody, or is that the Abominable Snowman?



3) they're just right there flying around Brooklyn, and you can't find them? bring back Tony Stark, ya loser!!


4) Carol washes the dishes .... with her gloves on (yeah, she's sensitive to Dawn).


5) the Red Skull wants you. to buy Siege. all four issues. and their 2nd and 3rd printings. and the variants. and the trade.

when like Romulus ...

drive-by readings

Wolverine Origins #40 (Marvel) Daniel Way Scot Eaton Andrew Hennessy Andy Troy Cory Petit Doug Braithwaite/Art Lyon (cover) Simone Bianchi/Simone Peruzzi (variant cover)

so, how does this compare to the now-classic Wolverine #90?

the answer is ... ummm, no.

i was expecting a much bloodier and gorier affair. you have an angry Wolverine on one hand, and on the other, his longtime under-the-radar "mentor"/nemesis whom he's meeting for the very first time. suddenly Logan loses all of his strategic fighting skills? his bull-in-the-china-shop approach plays right into Romulus' hands and he gets slapped around for the effort. eventually Wolverine fights smarter and gets the upper hand, de-pantsing Romulus as a big-muscled jerk who uses fake claws.

then before you start cheering, Romulus conks Logan out with the Muramasa sword handle. all these talk about Weapon X alumni as indestructible weapons and Logan being the best at what he does and he gets taken out by a sword handle. WTF, Daniel Way. this is a Wolverine book. not Power Pack. was the original script of this fight spiked by Disney????

so in the end, Romulus is still out there, waiting for the eventual winner between Logan and Daken. the winner will be the one "closest to what Romulus is". all this philosophical sissy shit is making my head ache. bring back Larry Hama, goddammit!!!

4 > 3 > 2

so that's the much-hyped Romulus!!!

if you believe the hype, this guy is the single most important figure in shaping Wolverine into who he is now (even much more influential than Weapon X and Charley Xavier). he looks much more dangerous than Apocalypse or Mr. Sinister. well, i said looks. he kinda resembles Ra's Al Ghul crossed with Vandal Savage and ... ooppss, wrong company.

and what's his goal again? manipulating Logan's bloodline to do what? create Weapons of Mass Destruction? to do what?

and if he's hell-bent on finding his true heir among all the adamantium-tinged freaks he loves to play with (presumably all dead with the exception of Logan and Daken), does it mean he really can be slain with the Muramasa blade too, because if he's that powerful and no one can take him down, what's the point eh?

by our math, 4 claws are much better than 3, so that leaves X-23 as the low woman on the totem pole (see X-Force #18 for her funny evisceration, on sale now! - Axel Alonso).

even Logan doesn't walk around shirtless. well, maybe around the Westchester mansion grounds in summer, back in the day. and he has a better haircut. i guess, being near immortal, you just give up when your favorite barber keeps croaking every 20 years or so.

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Wolverine: Origins #39