Spidey and his Fantastic Friends

FF #2 "Doom Nation"
Amazing Spider-Man #659 "Fantastic Voyage, Part 1 of 2"

and here i thought these two were linked story-wise; turns out its not. i totally enjoyed both anyway.

right after the drafting of now-accomplished nerd Spider-Man as Johnny's replacement, Jonathan Hickman surprised me by bringing Doom into the equation. well, not really because this was hinted back in earlier issues. i just thought he was going to join the Future Foundation as a tenuous member, a la Magneto in the current X-Men. maybe he still is, because he's not one to miss an opportunity to tout his intelligence (at least by the end of this issue). however, Reed should be more worried about Valeria (whom Doom named, in her revised origin), who seems to be getting or causing more trouble than Franklin when he was her age. she's probably too smart for her own good.

even as distracted as Reed can be, i don't think he would easily forget that was how Tony Stark came back to his proper senses in the recent Siege. oh well.

so, dumb-as-a-rock Doom ostensibly made a deal with Valeria to help him recover from his brain damage and be back to being the scumbag genius that he is, and they manage to do so, by copying some files from Doom ward Kristoff's own noggin. interestingly, Reed makes the moral if difficult decision to go along with it, even when given the chance to get rid of his longtime arch-enemy permanently. and what's the price Valeria demands? for Doom to defeat her dad. uhhh, what?

super-nerd Parker, also not a fan of Doom, at least is honest about cracking jokes regardless.

there's more to this than meets the eye, though. the next issue's preview show the return of the well-meaning yet blinded Reeds, and maybe that's what Doom needs (or Valeria wants Doom) to beat.

over in Spidey's own book, the foursome take a journey to an island they had visited early in their original incarnation, where Ben played Blackbeard the Pirate and get some gems back to a tiger-stroking Doom (heh) who had Sue as a hostage. anyway, some radioactive anomaly is emanating from this island and geeks just need to investigate radioactive anomalies.

funnily, with the attack-happy locals exercising their fear of strangers, its the FF's reputation that saves them (or is it the other way around). Dan Slott and Fred Van Lente continue their knack for snappy hilarious patter, which makes me wonder why they didn't get them to write Spider-Man a loooong time ago.

ending up fighting zombie pirates (eh?), the fun gets doubled as Benjie reprises his award-winning role, courtesy of Mr. Parker's quick thinking.

just like over in Avengers, we see that our heroes end up cleaning after old foes (think Spidey's rogues gallery ... his best baddies, minus the Goblin of course). with the promise of more ass-kicking, errr ... booty-kicking next issue, i can't wait!

FF story: A-  art: A-
ASM story: A+ art: A

coming out to play

drive-by readings

Shadowland: Power Man #2 (Marvel) "War In the Neighborhood" Fred Van Lente Mahmud Asrar Scott Hanna Bruno Hang Dave Sharpe

what we learned: now i get why the Simster was raving about this yesterday - only old school guys will probably get the joke. the new Power Man (Kid?) gets into a tussle with Danny and Luke (the original), and in the process draws attention from a bunch of gangs (well, really, just a representative) who's out to bag him for money. hilarity ensues.
oh shit moment: this kid can absorb Danny's chi? really? wait, shouldn't Danny be out like a light now? remember mind melds and that healing shit (when he first "died"; thanks a lot, Captain Power).
what's next: Nights-s-sh-sh-shade! (to the tune of "Shirt Tales")


uhhh .... she's ... Bejeweled?

end task

drive-by readings

Taskmaster #1 (Marvel) "The Exquisite Palace" Fred Van Lente Jefte Palo Jean Francois Beaulieu Dave Lanphear

what we learned: on the premise that Taskmaster, that unparalleled trainer of every asskicking wannabe in the Marvel U, has gone over to the light side, every single group of bad guys (with matching branded gym bags and watches, natch!), including the ridiculous ones (the Inquisition. really.) are gunning for him, on orders of The Org (ooooh, scary!). of course, he wants to know why he's being set up. what do you really know about Taskmaster, except that he's a Crossbones-faced human version of the Super Adaptoid?
oh shit moment: who are these losers? (all those who make their first appearance this issue) ok, seriously, who does have some longevity? i'll pick ... the Trenchcoat Mafia ('cause there will always be FPS games, bitches!).
what's next: anti-hero takes waitress on the run from evil forces. sounds like a B-movie.


Militiamen? really? what's next? Tea Party Patriots? oh, wait ...

dude, any goddamned tax is too damn high.

so git off yer high horse.

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Shadowland: Power Man #1

snaps: Hercules - Fall of an Avenger

... where Herc's old pals in the Avengers, the Champions, and the Lady Friends of the Prince of Power gather to mourn him. tales are told, glasses are raised, and tears are shed. but what we really want to know is, what the hell is the Elven Tickler??

look! Wolverine's drinking invisible mead!!


ok, that was Northstar right? but on the cover, it shows Pietro?


hey, hey, hey, who's the Asian around here?!? Amadeus, he's mocking you!


dammit, show us the Elven Tickler!!!


Amadeus has a message for the six people ahead of him on the World's Smartest List.

RHINO

... is about to get his freak on.


/doing my lameass Chris Sims imitation post of the day.

Amadeus Cho also has taste

... too bad the spinster Athena has to be a wet blanket.




the Greg Pak/Fred Van Lente home run derby continues.

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Assault on New Olympus #1

drive-by readings: Incredible Hercules #133

Incredible Hercules #133 (Marvel) "Road of Trials" Fred Van Lente Greg Pak Rodney Buchemi Emily Warren Simon Bowland Rafael Albuquerque (cover) Salva Espin (variant frame cover)

Greg Pak unites with Fred Van Lente to continue chronicling the Hulk's supporting characters (Herc would kinda take offense to that), and they probably should have called this The Incredible Amadeus Cho, as Herc does not exactly make an appearance (owing to the fallout they had last issue). there is a reason that the Choster (hey, i didn't make that up) is only the 7th smartest person on Earth - the one above him (the tastefully-named Pythagoras Dupree) has him in his sights. but if he succeeds then the eight smartest person would move up the chain, no? anyway, not sure how this Dupree can back up his words because he only looks marginally better than Stephen Hawking. but he may have something to do with the murder of Cho's parents or the disappearance of his sister Marie Curie Cho (at this rate, i should start calling myself Galileo Timberlake). hmmmm. what would Herc do? yes, ask you to pull his finger.

drive-by readings: Dark Reign: Mr Negative #3

Dark Reign: Mr Negative #3 (Marvel) "Negative Reinforcement" Fred Van Lente Gianluca Gugliotta Ronda Pattison Andres Mossa Antonio Fabela Dave Lanphear Jae Lee/June Chung (cover)

the prolific Mr. Van Lente wraps up the Mr. Negative origin story, and the best of all, it all starts from my very first Spectacular Spider-Man issue (#64, the origin of Cloak and Dagger). it positions Mr. Negative in an ambiguous light, as he neither totally is with the good or the bad guys (although you would think he'd pick a better name, no?). the art is a bit lacking compared to the story, though i must admit i stared a lot longer at those panels with Betty Brant in fragrante delicto - umm, well you know. now imagine those panels in the hands of Frank Cho or Terry Dodson. that's all positive!

drive-by readings: Amazing Spider-Man #603

The Amazing Spider-Man #603 (Marvel) "Red-Headed Stranger: Deconstructing Peter" Fred Van Lente Robert Atkins Victor Olazaba Jeromy Cox Joe Caramagna Stephane Roux (cover) Mike Mayhew (variant cover)

you know, this would have worked a wee bit better without the opening statement, giving away what could've been a great surprise for newbie readers, and perhaps a great delight to longtime ones, as they would figure it out along the way (assuming they didn't read the internet or the "next issue" blurb from #602. anyway, it was enjoyable opener for a long term ... what? this story concludes next issue? what the hell! think of the possibilities! can we not have JJJ replaced? or Osborn! it could a year's worth of issues!

drive-by readings: Dark Reign: Mr Negative #1

Dark Reign: Mr. Negative #1 (Marvel) "The Last Stand of Mr. Negative" Fred Van Lente Gianluca Gugliotta Andy Lanning/Justice Pattison/Mossa Dave Lanphear

recent Spider-Man nemesis gets his own Dark Reign treatment, as it is impossible for him to be operating without the blessings of my neighbor, The Hood. of course he doesn't need any stinkin' blessings, and the inevitable showdown occurs. not surprisingly, Spidey gets in the middle (this should be before the events of American Son, right?) and he's in for a blackout surprise as he doesn't know that his Aunt May's employer, Martin Li, is actually Mr. Negative. i bet the outcome will be that Negative gets driven out but will return to haunt Peter for years to come. for somebody so named, i think he's bursting with confidence in himself.

"and for my next trick ..."

"... I will become The Sentry." so announced Hercules today, continuing his Powerhouse Impersonation Tour, after usurping the Incredible Hulk title (to rave reviews, natch!) and now aping Thor. [via Mayjah Spoilers]

the coolest thing i've seen in weeks ...

... considering i'm way behind in my comic-reading because the day job demands a lot more of my time, in this economy. goddamned Wall Streeters. oh, wait. i work there. dammit!!!



shades of Portal! so Spot has never done this before? damn! he must've gotten his hands on a copy of The Orange Box while in limbo.

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Amazing Spider-Man #589

Gods get dumped too.

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Incredible Hercules #125

a-ha!

or maybe it should be a-haX!

the mystery of these past months is now revealed.

turns out its a new X-Men miniseries X-Men Noir coming out this winter. it re-imagines a 1930s Manhattan underworld populated by X-characters. the masterminds behind this gimmick are Fred Van Lente (Silencers, Action Philosophers, Marvel Adventures, Incredible Hercules) and Dennis Calero (X-Factor, Legion of Super Heroes).

i shoulda known. isn't that red shades a dead giveaway for Cyclops?