dirty ol' butler

whodathunk??

with the sheer power of the Batcomputer (ugh), its not impossible to conclude that Alfred has amassed a sizable porn image nest egg!

the other scary thought here is, is Batman smiling because he thinks Alfred is merely jesting, or he's privy to old man Pennyworth's habits and checks his database from time to time? (remember he can remote connect to his systems wherever he is)

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Batman: The Dark Knight #2

a woman's worth

drive-by readings

Wonder Woman #601 (DC) "Past Imperfect, Present Tense" J. Michael Straczynski Don Kramer Michael Babinski Alex Sinclair Travis Lanham Alex Garner (variant cover)

what we learned: we get the backstory of why there are no more Amazons - man wiped them out! how original. anyhoo, apparently, there's still some survivors hiding out in Turkey, and Diana, who now can't fly, has to hitch a plane ride with the bad guys to reach them. she promised to kill everyone who was involved in the destruction of the Amazons, so i wonder what happens when she remembers (and meets) Max Lord again.
oh shit moment: Wizard Magazine ran its umpteenth "Who Should Play Wonder Woman" feature.
what's next: a woman's wrath, hopefully.


Diana's winning form for So You Think You Can Dance.

snaps: Batman #700

... where Grant Morrison and a bunch of artists craft a time-tossed tale that's not the Return of Bruce Wayne. whodathunk? anyhoo, anything related to time and history is Morrison's bailiwick so i end up going whoa several times during the read. and he certainly puts it out there that Damian IS going to be the Batman soon (wait, how does Terry McGinnis figure into that when Bruce is still alive in McGinnis' time?). ok, maybe in some alternate branch of reality. or Bruce is just reaaaally old. whatever. added bonus: various pinups by major talent (love Shane Davis' and Juan Doe's), and a Batcave tour courtesy of Freddie Williams II.

you know the implication, right? Joker's CHOKING THE CHICKEN.


weren't those his staves during his time as Nightwing?


like they needed any more rumors about their relationship


I, blogging.


McGinnis? Terry McGinnis? is that you??


but who's watching your teef?

snaps: Batman & Robin #11

... where the past and present collide - man, those Waynes were such douchebags, much more than the Starks! these rich people. anyway, Robin is unfortunately being remote-controlled by his mother (oh, those mothers!) and we are still one issue away from truly finding the answers on what Dick found in the secret cave, and if Oberon Sexton is truly the missing Bruce or just a scented dandy.

* hey, so after like a year or so, Bruce is probably going back and reclaim his costume, and Dick goes back to being Nightwing, and for all of that, we had that atrocious Battle for the Cowl??

aside from being an arrogant twit, you're fine!


huh? aren't you talking about yourself?


but they do have 99 luftballoons!!! eeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!


ah, Deathstroke, still batting .000 for killing someone of real significance.


and for the question y'all wanted to ask ...


answers in 30 i guess ... because Morrison wants to stick it to the Eisner Award committee!!

snaps: Blackest Night #8

... where the Rainbow Riders finally get to defeat Nekron and the Black Hand (as if there was any doubt). and in a complete reversal of a cookie-cutter comicbook event, NO ONE DIES (well, except the bad guy and the jury is out on that, and because they were fighting dead people to begin with), and A FEW DEAD PEOPLE COME BACK (not just all you hoped for). all in all, i'd still rank Blackest Night below The Sinestro Corps War, primarily because there were no more surprises after the first issue. plus with the Internet talk these days, you basically get a preview of what's going to happen anyway ... what's that? Brightest Day is going to be a gay musical starring our DC heroes? for sure?

"and that's for not getting my back when i got captured by that loser Libra!!"


why do you have to be a heartpuller?


coming soon to Broadway: Brightest Gay Day!


"uh, J'onn ... are you gonna reimburse us for that funeral we threw you?"


goodbye, Infinite Crisis!


goodbye, 90's!! farewell, beard and hook!!


William can't even wipe off his drool with his Hand.

snaps: Batman & Robin #10

... where this title picks up steam again since its first 4 issues. is Bruce Wayne really alive? ("yes.") will Damian stay on as Robin? ("cannot predict now.") will Talia succeed in her schemes? ("don't count on it.") is Thomas Wayne the Devil? ("reply hazy, try again.") how will this all end? ("better not tell you now.")

move over, Tim Geithner; there's a new genius in town!


but, but ... the wifi is so slooooooow. sir.


Teen Titans? he'd be lucky to be accepted in Young Justice!


a-ha! the next clue is in Rihanna's birthplace!


this is for taking my father's mantle, you circus oaf!

snaps: Blackest Night #6

... where we learn that Lantern rings can deputize another for 24 hours. the question is, how sure are we that that timeframe would be the limit? and once someone gets deputized, they would be willing to give up the ring? also, a bunch of other characters become the second Rainbow Seven.

1) Nok! Nok! who's there? see below.


2) it's the Ultimate Warrior Atom!!!


3) mermaid got your tongue?


4) no tongue, no jaw - how the hell does she talk? amazing.


5) uh uh. sure. are you gonna be the "villain" in the next GL crossover?

snaps: Blackest Night #5

... where everyone has a grand old time with dead people.

1) ok, who was the joker in the cave then???


2) your name is Bartholomew Henry. you're 53 years old. you're kinda old.


3) i believe she was referring to this.


4) i'd wager its the second, Mr. Jordan.



5) oh, shoot ... here we go again!!

now what?

drive-by readings

Batman & Robin #6 (DC) "Revenge of the Red Hood, Part Three: Flamingo is Here" Grant Morrison Philip Tan Jonathan Glapion Alex Sinclair Patrick Brosseau Frank Quitely (variant cover)

ok, they weren't left in compromising positions but then again, letting the Red Hood get drop on them is a minus for the new Batman and Robin. by the same token, the Red Hood getting careless and getting ambushed by the Flamingo - heh, and you want to replace Batman?? and thus it ends with Jason getting hauled off to jail (the character seems lost and misplaced, aside from being a perennial story device for shock purposes), Scarlet leaving Gotham in better shape, Flamingo apparently dead, Robin half-paralyzed (yeah sure) and Dick probably taking steps to rethink his strategy. and what's this Oberon Sexton angle? art is pretty uneven this issue, which is why i still miss Frank Quitely.

pinks and reds

drive-by readings

Batman & Robin #5 (DC) "Revenge of the Red Hood, Part Two: Scarlet" Grant Morrison Philip Tan Jonathan Glapion Alex Sinclair Patrick Brosseau Frank Quitely (variant cover)

now this is more like it. Gotham is about to explode (like when was it not in that state?) - from gang wars and vigilantes. this is the issue where the Red Hood and his new partner, Scarlet, humiliate the new Batman & Robin. is it really Jason Todd under that red bucket? he looks more like another DC character who's name escapes me (think ... red hair, white streak ... ahhh shit, when you get old ...).

my kudos to Grant Morrison for the Eduardo Flamingo character ("Buffalo Bill"?) ... a sicko who skins and eats people's faces ... and is the premiere assassin for a drug cartel, and doesn't shirk away from the color pink. whooooooooooooo! he's like the sixth Village person!

but what i wanna see is, how the Hood leaves the discombobulated duo (really? Bruce wouldn't be taken down like that, would he?) in a situation where they might not get away "...with their dignity intact." would they be in their wedgied underwear and masks only? were they left in compromising positions and TMZ paparazzo are on the way? i wanna know!!

with Alex Sinclair doing the colors, Philip Tan's artwork is getting its sea legs (still some Kubert in there though). let's see if that applies to this story arc and beyond.

death is everywhere

drive-by readings

Blackest Night #3 (DC) Geoff Johns Ivan Reis Oclair Albert Joe Prado Alex Sinclair Nick Napolitano Ethan Van Sciver/Hi-Fi (variant cover)

ok, maybe brute force is the answer to kill these Black Lanterns. turns out the Indigo Lanterns (representing compassion, natch!) hold the key or at least the plan on how to beat them. hint: you have to be gay. you know, like a rainbow? no? sigh.

since when did Ralph talk like the Joker? Atom "hates being in the dark" yet shrank to minutiae in the blackness post-Jean Loring imprisonment. right now, we are still in Barry/Hal-centric mode (as this is indeed, for all intents and purposes, a GL-driven crossover). and we get some Firestorm love as it looks like the new version isn't up to snuff. heh. snuff.

we also have a heart to heart talk between Barry and Hal regarding their philosophies. i thought i'd never write that sentence except when looking back at old Justice League stories. i thought we moved past that, had Kyle and Wally. nope ... back to old. what are the bets that Grant Morrison's reconstituted Batman will be reversed down the line and they'll bring back Bruce Wayne back?

but anyway - we get more dead people coming back (hell, the dead obviously outnumber living people at this point, so from a numbers standpoint, the heroes have no chance). note that they're all in the JLA HQ in Washington, DC, and they have all their dead in the building! so you see Maxwell Lord getting out of his cadaver with his head(!) still attached. (and is that a piece of Wonder Woman's lasso around his neck?) things look bleak around here, the Purple Ones notwithstanding.

Nok Klek. this means you ain't seen nothing yet.

drive-by readings: Batman & Robin #3

Batman and Robin #3 (DC) "The Circus of Strange" Grant Morrison Frank Quitely Alex Sinclair Pat Brosseau Tony Daniel (variant cover)

if Christopher Nolan was somehow unavailable to make the next Batman movie, can we go back in time, pluck the '90s Quentin Tarantino (with '90s Robert Rodriguez) and get them to helm the thing based on Batman & Robin? because this is how the book plays out. the two leads cut a glorious figure, Gotham's protectors reborn to save them from the crazies. what makes Damian, the new Robin, both annoying and fun to read, is that he has balls 3x the size of his dad's. wonder what happens when Bruce finally comes back from his unintentional exile. as for Dick Grayson, how long before he breaks out laughing in front of Commissioner Gordon and reveals his identity? i mean, its bound to happen, right? right??

i'll bite: who's this presumably, new Red Hood? who's watching Alfred? will that girl survivor of Pyg's experiments haunt Damian for not saving her? are we gonna see the Joker anytime soon? when did the Batmobile suddenly become a right-hand drive vehicle?

the universal accolades are flowing in, and Batman R.I.P. is quickly disappearing over the horizon. suddenly, i don't long for Bruce Wayne coming back at all. and that's probably the highest compliment i can give Grant Morrison.

drive-by readings: Blackest Night: Superman #1

Blackest Night: Superman #1 (DC) "A Sleepy Little Town, Part 1" James Robinson Eddy Barrows Ruy Jose Julio Ferreira Rod Reis Barrows/Nei Ruffino (cover) Shane Davis/Sandra Hope/Alex Sinclair (variant cover)

first of all, Eddy Barrows draws a mean Krypto (didn't he draw that Cujo in Teen Titans, the one that ate Marvin? WIN!!!). and the rest of the book is no chopped liver either. as for the story ... well, am a little befuddled by the dialogue, at least on the resurrected Kal-L's (yeah you know why) part. his motivation is just to kill everyone? ("yes, grifter, haven't you been reading Blackest Night?" - Geoff Johns) seems so simplistic to me, at least for this Superman tangent of the theme. and somehow, seeing Connor Kent (the artist formerly known as the first arrogant Superboy) flying around again, after Infinite Crisis, makes me shake my head (i know, i know - Action Comics #1). let's just everyone stop making events out of deaths, ok? as Blackest Night shows in a nutshell, absolutely no one stays dead forever.

drive-by readings: Blackest Night #2

Blackest Night #2 (DC) "Blackest Night" Geoff Johns Ivan Reis Oclair Albert Julio Ferreira Alex Sinclair Nick Napolitano Mauro Cascioli (variant cover)

okay, am not sure who's batting it out of the park more here - Geoff Johns, or the stellar art team of Ivan Reis and Oclair Albert. i'm giving it to the latter duo (a highlight being the shark scene), as the story doesn't really get advanced much here. more deaths, more recruits, even right within the same sequence (Aqualad). i was mildly surprised to see Dove not get recruited - apparently, you had to have a violent death, and thus a troubled soul, to become part of the Black Lantern Corps (figures). the bile coming out of the lips of some of DC's beloved (currently dead, now zombified) characters are deliciously malevolent, its so wrong yet so right. and i've never seen Aquaman this intense, even during his time as arrogant ruler of Atlantis (nice touch on Mera holding her own and not being salad dressing this time). there also seems to be a subtle push to make Hal Jordan the resident DC Universe lothario (what, Guy Gardner lost his mojo because of Ice?). basically, since these zombies are practically unkillable, brute force is not the answer. i may be in the minority here, but this is scary.

drive-by readings: Blackest Night #1

Blackest Night #1 (DC) "Rise" Geoff Johns Ivan Reis Oclair Albert Alex Sinclair Nick Napolitano Ethan Van Sciver/Hi-Fi(variant cover)

my man-crush has done it again.

oh, shit.

oh, shit.

oh, shit!!!!!!!!!!!

(yes, that's all am gonna say)

at first glance, it looks like Dark Reign has better chance of having long-term ramifications and status quo changes in the Marvel Universe. but for sheer living in the moment, visceral kick in the face, leave-us-hanging-with-bated-breath-opener, Blackest Night takes the cake. and that's a summer blockbuster.

drive-by readings: Green Lantern #43

Green Lantern #43 (DC) "Tale of the Black Lantern" Geoff Johns Doug Mahnke Christian Alamy Randy Mayor Alex Sinclair Eddy Barrows/Nei Ruffino (variant cover)

pretty neat origin story for who's to be the Black Lantern. William Hand, from the Coast City Hand clan of embalmers, fits into the embodiment of all that is dark, aided by a renegade Guardian who's like Gollum with more intelligence. the covers are actually misleading as the eventual throwdown between Black Hand and Hal Jordan is yet to occur. Doug Mahnke continues to be one of the most reliable pencilers around, and that shot of William blowing his own brains out was sick! Blackest Night better be a rip-roaring tale to take some interest away from Marvel's Dark Reign, or else!

drive-by readings: Batman & Robin #2

Batman and Robin #2 (DC) "The Circus of Strange" Grant Morrison Frank Quitely Alex Sinclair Pat Brosseau Andy Kubert (variant cover)

"didn't they used to be taller?" a cop asks Commish Gordon early in this issue. one of the so many little nuances (circus slang, circus freak villains, referencing Bludhaven) that Grant Morrison adds to the emerging panorama of a new Batman and Robin trying to put a semblance of normality to their current upside-down world. as if Dick Grayson didn't have enough to worry about playing Batman, he has the additional headache of babysitting a headstrong Damian, son of Bruce via Talia, whose blatant disrespect of Dick has him ending up in the clutches of the Pig. this seems to be Morrison and Frank Quitely's version of All-Star Batman and Robin (heh), and just like their Superman take, this one promises to be a great ride - and delivers.

D&D makes debut

that's "Dick and Damian" to you under-the-rock-hiders and the upset masses who left in droves when their beloved Bruce Wayne was shuffled off this mortal coil.

and the new adventures of Batman and Robin is (still) being brought to you by the man who killed him, no less. Grant Morrison's deconstructionist methods to our costumed heroes may be like pulling teeth (and even worse for some), but somewhere there are rainbows (unless editorial issues a fatwa and retcons everything right after - Exhibit A: Magneto/Xorn). once you get past the painful WTF!? parts and stop scratching your head, you'll see where he's going. yeah, there could be a million other ways to get to point B, but Morrison is Morrison. take him or leave him.

with Battle for the Cowl ending up a big landfill just to answer the simple question of will-he-or-won't-he, Dick Grayson now dons the cape to honor his patron. can't wait to see him meet Bruce's old rogues gallery, and the Justice League, in his new duds.

we can now say it: Batman is a Dick!

as annoying as Damian can be ... it is intriguing to have him take on the Robin mantle. i already expect him to disobey Dick at the first opportunity, and get his ass whupped by whoever's handy. Talia and Ra's Al Ghul must be so proud.

the new face of brat. bratboy, his name is.

i liked the fact that Dick is now mentoring his former mentor's true son. given Damian's sense of entitlement, this will undoubtedly produce a lot of drama in the series.

the new storyline reintroduces the duo back to an embattled Gotham City in dire need of its known protector. new menacing villains such as Pyg and Toad dot the landscape, and gives Morrison a new sandbox to play with, and co-conspirator Frank Quitely fits in well in Morrison's worlds (see All Star Superman).

Morrison has no fear incorporating ridiculous and silly elements, such as a flying Batmobile (hell, why not? bats fly!). he even gives us flashbacks to the campy Adam West years such as this:

upset masses, come back. forgiveness is divine.

-----
Batman and Robin #1

hardcore

we all knew the Batman is capable of doing some really hardcore stuff, but pushing a broken kid, whose parents had just been murdered, to make a choice between vengeance and justice at that age? that's cold.

in All Star Batman & Robin #7, Batman finds the thug who killed Dick Grayson's parents and personally hand-delivers him to his adopted (hungry, confused, angry - and axe-wielding) ward.

this is after going through a bunch of goons like a hot chainsaw through a ton of butter, not needing sticks and stones to break any bones - his fists and feet do just fine. this display of raw manly attributes (flying rodent costume notwithstanding) makes a groupie out of Black Canary, a talkative statuesque Irish chick who doesn't get into any action (except that tongue thing with the Bats ... "her tongue's a little bit sandy ... she's a smoker ... i haven't kissed a smoker in weeks ...") despite what the cover might convey.

and despite having such a hottie for a groupie, Bats takes his boorish act to the extreme. having the word "goddamn" in one panel really reminded me that this was a Frank Miller Batman book. his Bat-works is Christian Bale's Bible, and you know that dude is hardcore too, when it comes to his craft. i'm not surprised if this was a cover-up (you know that that technician was dealing drugs ... kidding!).

a car? i thought the "Batmobile" meant his cellphone.

since the next issue of this series will probably come out in 2008, and i'm stuck in a hopeless endeavor related to my day job which will probably result in me panhandling on the streets soon enough, Bats expresses my feelings to a T.