buildup

drive-by readings

Brightest Day #8 (DC) "Defiance" Geoff Johns/Peter Tomasi Patrick Gleason/Ivan Reis/Ardian Syaf Vicente Cifuentes/Rebecca Buchman/Mark Irwin Peter Steigerwald/John Starr Rob Clark Jr. David Finch/Scott Williams/Steigerwald (cover) Ryan Sook/Fernando Pasarin/Joel Gomez/Randy Mayor/Carrie Strachan (variant cover)

what we learned: Shiera fights for her life with her mommy issues, and while Carter finds himself an army to fight against Queen Shrike. meanwhile, J'onn tries to find out where's that Green Martian who jumped M'gann and it leads him to Star City. the White Ring is still messing with Deadman's, Dove's and Hawk's heads. i have no idea what its rapping about.
oh shit moment: how many creators does it take to finish a book? or should we just blame Blogger for having a 200-character tag limit???
what's next: they promised us an Aquaman/Black Manta rematch. they promised!!


and so Hawkman found himself leading the Thundercats AND the mutants ...

and now, a word from the Batcave

hey, Batman, is it true you figured out who the Times Square bomber was and provided the FBI and NYPD the information that led to his arrest in JFK? are you smarter than our federal law enforcement agencies now?

and now, a word from the Batcave

and what are these reports we are reading about you taking credit for the clearing up of the European airspace because you kicked Ra's Al-Ghul's ass in that Icelandic volcano and the threat has been averted?

and now, a word from the Batcave

hey, Batman, is it true Sandra Bullock is staying in the Batcave while hiding from the paparazzi? how did you manage to convince her to do that?

and now, a word from the Batcave

out of the reported 120,000 pre-orders for the Apple iPad on Saturday alone, Batman claims that he ordered half of that number. hey, Batman, is this true, you greedy mook?

drive-by readings 021609

Bad Dog #1 (Image) "Old Monster, New Tricks" Joe Kelly Diego Greco Thomas Mauer

this looks to be like the vehicle for Mr. Long Island Joe Kelly to kvetch and vent on the world. our two protagonists, Lou - a werewolf who refuses to turn back into Michael J. Fox - and Wendell - a foul-mouthed ex-preacher who's lucky to be 5' - work as low-rent bounty hunters in hot Arizona. despite being cheap labor, the oddball pair roll through life full of exploding SUVs, pub crawls, filthy epithets, a horny employer and the occasional bounty hunting rivals (and the occasional dead bounty). with some memorable dialogue and characters (a talking head? in a fridge?), Bad Dog wants to desperately to be on celluloid, at least with someone who graduated from the Quentin Tarantino school of filmmaking.

Batman #686 (DC) "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? Part 1: The Beginning of the End" Neil Gaiman Andy Kubert Scott Williams Alex Sinclair Jared Fletcher

since this was written by Neil Gaiman, we probably should expect to expand our minds while doing some peyote - wait, that was Grant Morrison. whatever. Batman's enemies attending his funeral? surreal. here we have two people detailing how they killed (or helped kill) Batman - Selina Kyle and - gasp! - Alfred Pennyworth, who's been secretly the Joker all this time! ok, what the hell's going on? well, we'll just let Batman figure that out next month. but he's dead! you say. is he?

Jersey Gods #1 (Image) "Jersey Gods" Glen Brunswick Dan McDaid Rachelle Rosenberg Rus Wooton Mike Allred

at last! heroic titans based across the Hudson! the NooJerseyans quake in their shoes as they now become targets for mass property destruction just like NYC is. case in point, the Cherry Hill Mall, where Zoe, a Jersey girl with an iffy track record for boyfriends suddenly finds herself in the middle of a battle between Gods - the heroic Barock (the white Obama!) and the hulking Loki-like Minog (formerly named Kylie). why did they choose Jersey to be their battleground? uh, maybe because it needs to be wiped off the map? (sorry!) this reads like a cross between two Kirby creations - the New Gods and the Eternals (can someone explain to me how can characters have any sort of conversation in the vacuum of space?), with a splattering of some unused Kevin Smith scripts. that's not a diss, as long as it keeps us interested. and hey, what's the deal with the cover not really showcasing any of the main characters?

hardcore

we all knew the Batman is capable of doing some really hardcore stuff, but pushing a broken kid, whose parents had just been murdered, to make a choice between vengeance and justice at that age? that's cold.

in All Star Batman & Robin #7, Batman finds the thug who killed Dick Grayson's parents and personally hand-delivers him to his adopted (hungry, confused, angry - and axe-wielding) ward.

this is after going through a bunch of goons like a hot chainsaw through a ton of butter, not needing sticks and stones to break any bones - his fists and feet do just fine. this display of raw manly attributes (flying rodent costume notwithstanding) makes a groupie out of Black Canary, a talkative statuesque Irish chick who doesn't get into any action (except that tongue thing with the Bats ... "her tongue's a little bit sandy ... she's a smoker ... i haven't kissed a smoker in weeks ...") despite what the cover might convey.

and despite having such a hottie for a groupie, Bats takes his boorish act to the extreme. having the word "goddamn" in one panel really reminded me that this was a Frank Miller Batman book. his Bat-works is Christian Bale's Bible, and you know that dude is hardcore too, when it comes to his craft. i'm not surprised if this was a cover-up (you know that that technician was dealing drugs ... kidding!).

a car? i thought the "Batmobile" meant his cellphone.

since the next issue of this series will probably come out in 2008, and i'm stuck in a hopeless endeavor related to my day job which will probably result in me panhandling on the streets soon enough, Bats expresses my feelings to a T.