Avengers 12.1 (a quick read)

oy! when did Hawkman join the Avengers???

a bookend to Brian Michael Bendis' relaunched Avengers run (because really, Twittergate notwithstanding, who knows what the man wants to do next? he's becoming a multimedia giant now), the Avengers find themselves cleaning up after old enemies, and running into an even older one that doesn't seem to know when its time is up.

is that War Machine or his cardboard cutout or Iron Man's hologram reflection?

the ballbuster pays a visit to our assembled heroes (i swear to God, this is the one thing they should have done a long time ago before Bendis, but it took them several long years to setup, what with the crossover stories they concocted up along the way - and it was all worth it, seeing everyone under the Avengers banner, even Banner). Jessica Drew, Agent of S.W.O.R.D., disappears during one of her alien-hunting jobs and now Agent Brand has to involve the whole team (just like she did with X-Men with Breakworld - twice). wah-wah-wah. and nobody informed Steve Rogers of her agency?? yeah, they were all busy. i'd be pissed too.

"and i am boinking her. also."

long story short, Jessica runs into an alien armor (it gave me hope that it would be a three-letter word - but it turned out to be six); however, the location is also where the sad-sack bunch of super-nerds, the Intelligencia (last seen being mopped on the floor in the pages of Hulk) are hiding. so what do a bunch of super-nerds do when they see a woman? why, undress her of course!!

i believe she did shave prior to going out on a mission.

Steve sends out selected personnel to find the missing Jessica. Iron Man would be there of course. and Thor. Beast. Wolverine (for tracking). and Space Ghost Penis, the Great Protector. Iron Man, in particular, trying his rein in his smugness after doing the noble thing of "wishing the Infinity Gems out of existence" (hah! tell that to Steve - oh, you did??), still fails miserably.

yes, Tony ... you are.

the Intelligencia tries to get info out of their naked lady prisoner, at the same time trying to figure out what that alien armor is all about. but before they can even reveal their plans to Jessica (yeah, Bendis - that was heeee-la-rious) ...

... our heroes burst in and save the day. Wolverine though, for all his posturing, doesn't even get to lay a claw on anyone. Best There Is, my ass.

can someone tell me where Thor put his cape?

so, all's well that ends well, right? no, not really, because all the poking around by D-list Iron Man villain Red Ghost results in the armor gaining sentience, and revealing itself to be ... Henry Pym's SON! (yeah, again.)

of course, that's a battle for the future. Iron Man himself said so. he knows! he's seen the future! (except Planet Hulk, Secret Invasion, Dark Reign, Siege ...)

what the hell happened to Hank's head? headshrinker!!

the Point One issues were aimed to be a nice jumping point for new readers, and they've succeeded largely to a degree. they even provide entertainment for us older fans, hence blog posts like these. if i have a complaint, its the frightening devolution of Bryan Hitch's art. he's known for ultra-detailed widescreen action splash pages, but in recent years, that's been a painful thing to see. to get his best work, it should not be under a tight deadline. oh dear.